Me After You (7 page)

I nod, staring toward the parking lot where Alix stormed off to find Sawyer.

She follows my line of sight and doesn’t ask any more questions. There’s a silent conversation. She knows I have regrets, and she knows if she doesn’t want the honest truth she shouldn’t ask. So, she doesn’t.

I unlock my gaze and snag the cotton candy from her hand with a grin. “You came with the goods.” Leaning in, I kiss her cheek. “Thanks.”

“Your sugar addiction is going to make all your teeth fall out before you’re forty,” she scolds, and I know she’s trying to be playful, but there’s condescension in her voice that I can’t stand.

“Good thing veneers look better now than they used to.”

She shakes her head. “Or you know… you could try cutting back on sweets.”

“Never.” I shove a wad of pink fluffy cotton candy in my mouth with a smirk.

“Hey, pass me the Laffy Taffy, would you?” I gesture to the bag near Sawyer’s feet on the ottoman.

“Only if you stop holding the Reese’s Pieces hostage.” She eyes the bag resting between my legs. “I realize we share a love for the same candy, but there comes a time when you have to put your desires aside and think about mine.”

One of my eyebrows lifts when she says desires. “Now these are sacred, but I might consider it if...” I tap the side of my chin with my index finger.

“If?”

“If you promise me you’ll love me even if I lose all of my teeth before I’m thirty.”

“Who would I be to judge? I’ll probably lose mine at about the same time.” She takes a bite of the apple Laffy Taffy in her fingers, and the corner of her mouth turns up. I love that half smile.

“Good answer.” I crawl on top of her, leaning her back into the pillows on the couch. Before I remember to move them, the Reese’s Pieces spill all over her.

She giggles and picks some up from her stomach. As I lean closer to her, she places a few in my mouth, and I kiss her fingers. I reach for a couple of strays hidden between us and return the favor.

“Maybe I should talk about my body deteriorating more often,” she says, chewing the candy I placed in her mouth.

“Yeah, it’s so sexy,” I murmur, hovering over her with one hand on the side of her face, tracing her delicate jawline with my fingertips. Her skin is so smooth.

Sawyer’s laughter is muffled when my mouth devours hers, and she no longer finds the situation funny. Her fingers find the hairs on the back of neck, and she latches onto them, pulling me closer. She tastes like chocolate and peanut butter and makes the kiss that much sweeter.

T
HIS
IS
WHY
I didn’t want to come. I knew he would be here. Why did you make me come?” I ask, slamming the passenger door behind me. Every feeling I’ve been trying to suppress for him over the last few years uncontrollably rises to the surface. While I still feel the hurt, he somehow brings a comfort I’ve needed for the last three months. But I don’t want to feel it. I know better than to let that sensation in, so I push it back down.

“I’m sorry,” Alix says as she turns the ignition. But she doesn’t sound sorry. “I didn’t think he would have the balls to actually talk to you, but don’t worry. He won’t do it again.”

I exhale heavily and look up at the roof of the car. “Felix, what did you do?”

“Exactly what you would have done for me.”

I drag my fingers across my eyebrows and massage my temples, trying to breathe as I look out the passenger window.

“You okay?” she asks quietly.

“Oh, I don’t know. The once love of my life just spoke to me for the first time in six years—someone who, mind you, I never thought I’d ever see again. You tell me how you think I’m doing.”
I’m losing my freaking mind.

She is silent for a moment before responding. “He looked just as shaken if it makes you feel any better.”

I nod, chuckling without humor. “It does actually. Thank you.”

“How about some frozen yogurt to cool you down?”

“I really just want to go home, Alix. I’m tired and not in the mood to see anyone else.”

“But it’s so creamy and delicious. You know you want that sweet goodness in you,” she practically sings.

My instinct is to say no, but I decide it’s one step in the right direction. At least I know we won’t run into Dean there. “Fine,” I relent with a reluctant smile. “You know my weaknesses.”

“And I will never cease to use them against you.”

When we get our yogurt Alix doesn’t hold back after we sit down to eat. “How much did Grayson know about, you know?”

“Why don’t you ever talk about Willowhaven?”

I shrug, keeping my eyes on the TV. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Grayson hops on the couch next to me. “Why does that sound like a bunch of B.S.?”

“Because you’re reading into it.”

“But it’s not like you don’t talk about it because there’s nothing to say. You flinch whenever you hear the word. It’s seems to me you don’t talk about it because there’s a lot to say. Willowhaven—” He stops. “See you did it again.”

“I was shrugging my shoulders.” I keep from looking at him.

“Quickest shrugger I’ve ever met. Do they give out awards for that kind of thing?”

I glare at him with a smirk on my face. “Yeah, I’m a gold medalist. Why are you pushing this, Gray?” We have a good thing going right now. Why does he want to taint it with the ruin that is Willowhaven?

“Because I hardly know anything about your past, S.”

“Why do you need to know anything about my past? You know me now. You know who I am. The past doesn’t matter.”

“The past means everything. The past defines us.”

“We don’t have to let it.” I stare earnestly into his eyes.

“It’s involuntary.”

I look away back to the television because with every word he speaks, it rings true, and I can’t let him see in my eyes that I know he’s right. “I’m not going to talk about Willowhaven with you, Gray, so just drop it please.”

“Okay,” he relents. “But only because I love you.” My eyes jerk to his again. “Yeah. I said it. I love you, Sawyer.”

I realize then that Grayson might have mended my heart, because it’s beating abnormally fast. I blink.

“You don’t have to say it back. I just thought you should—”

“I love you, too.” He looks at me skeptically, as if I’ve only said it because he said it to me first. But I do mean it. “I do. I love you, Grayson.”

I’ll never forget the smile that grows on his face if I live until I’m a hundred years old. He doesn’t hesitate. He grabs my face and kisses me so ardently that it seems as though he’s trying to breathe his love into me. I could get used to this.

I know I don’t answer because she rephrases the question. “Did you ever talk to Grayson about Willowhaven?”

I involuntarily flinch and pick at the yogurt and fruit in my cup. “Not really.”

“So he didn’t know about Dean?”

“I mentioned it once or twice, but I never made it a topic for open discussion.” I shrug.

She nods like she understands, but she disapproves. “Did you worry that he would think you loved Dean more?”

“What kind of a question is that?” I sputter.

“I take that as a yes.” She purses her lips and points her spoon at me. “The question now remains: do
you
know the answer to that question?”

“What question? There is no question.”

“Who did you love more? Or who
do
you love more? It’s possible to be in present tense.”

I’m about to rip out her throat when her eyes shift over my shoulder as someone walks into the yogurt shop. I look back to see Aiden Ballard and some girl I don’t know walk through the door.
 

“Her, really?” Alix hisses.

“What?” I look between Aiden and Alix. “What am I missing?”

Aiden notices us then. When he realizes I’m the one with Alix his eyes jump with surprise, and then he smiles his big goofy grin.

“Sawyer?” He begins to walk over and Alix stiffens.
 

I stand, and he reaches for me to give him a hug. “Hey, Aiden.”

He pulls me in tight for a classic Aiden hug, leaving no breathing room. “Wow. It’s been a long time. You look good.”

“Thanks.”

He must be lying through his teeth. I pull back to offer a tiny smile. His eyes drift up and down my body, but not in a seductive way. He looks as though he barely recognizes me. I feel that way when I look in the mirror, too.

“You, too,” I say. He’s filled out. Once the scrawny acne-faced one of the group, Aiden has transformed into an incredibly good-looking grown man. I hardly recognize him without his long blond hair. He’s keeping it cropped short now.

“What’s up, Alix?” Aiden says playfully, as if he’s toying her with his words.

“Aiden.” Alix tries to sound bored, and I know there’s a story that I must pry out of her as soon as he’s gone.

“So, you ladies just grabbing some yogurt? Why aren’t you at the Sole Fest?”

“We stopped by already, conquered, and left,” Alix says, saving me.

He nods. “After we grab some yogurt we’re headed over.” The blonde with him steps forward. “Oh, man, sorry. Priscilla, this is Alix and Sawyer—some of my good friends from high school. Ladies, this is Priscilla.”

I reach out my hand because I can see Alix is not going to make one smidge of effort. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too.” She smiles, but I see the uncomfortable lining in the way her lips form. Her face looks pinched.

There’s an awkward pause before Aiden says, “Well, you ladies enjoy your evening. I’ll see you around. Sawyer, it’s really good to have you back.”

“Thanks, Aiden. It was really good to see you.” After I say it, I realize I actually mean it. I’ve always liked Aiden. On days when Dean had to miss school, Aiden would step in to open my doors and escort me from class to class. Sometimes he’d carry my books for me. He’d tell off Josh Duncan when he’d make catcalls or inappropriate comments about me and threaten Josh with what Dean would do to him if he knew what went on when he wasn’t around. He was the overprotective brother when my own couldn’t be there.

“Alix.” He dips his head forward as if he were tipping a hat. She responds with a smug smile.

Priscilla and Aiden wave and head over to the yogurt machines.

“Priscilla?” Alix mocks under her breath. “What kind of a name is that anyway?”

“Shhh…” I say with a chuckle, widening my eyes at her. Alix’s quiet comment wasn’t exactly as quiet as she thought. Priscilla glances over her shoulder at us with a confused expression.

“Whatever,” Alix mumbles.

“You better spill,” I whisper, scraping the bottom of my yogurt cup. “Or I’m going to pry it out of you with my bare hands.”

She shakes her head once, signaling that she won’t tell me while they are within earshot.

After a few minutes, they walk out with their frozen yogurt and one last wave. Aiden lets Priscilla leave first and then winks at Alix.

She grunts and rolls her eyes as she pointlessly scrapes an empty yogurt cup.

“What in the world have you been keeping from me? You and
Aiden
?”
 

Alix sighs exaggeratedly and gets up. I smirk, following close behind and throw away my cup.

We’re in her car before she answers me. “Aiden went away to college for a few years. When he came back he looked like
that
.” Her eyebrows rise. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.” I nod, agreeing. He’s really handsome now. “We ran into one another a few months back at Dallas’s. We hung out. Then stopped. And that’s about it.”

“Oh shut up. That is
not
about it.”

“So we kissed a little bit and whatever. It’s over. Onto the next.” She lifts her shoulders, and I know it’s far from over.

“
That
did not look over. He was totally messing with you.”

“Exactly. Acne-faced Aiden grew a cocky confidence in college and Grounded Alix isn’t having any of it.”

“Grounded?” I laugh. “
Oh
.
Come
.
On
. And Aiden is anything but cocky. So he’s grown some facial hair and confidence. He was the same old Aiden. I could tell he likes you.”

“Yeah, well, he’s also a two-timer. So, there’s that.”

“He cheated on you?” My anger rises and disappointment in Aiden flourishes. “You guys were that serious? You guys were exclusive?”

“Well.” She rolls her eyes. “Technically, no. But we went out to lunch one day, and
that
night I saw him with Bridget Dalton. He couldn’t pick a separate day to take her out?”

I bite my lips to keep from laughing. Alix couldn’t stand Aiden in high school, and here she is consumed by thoughts of him with another girl. “You like him, Felix. Why didn’t you just tell him you wanted to be exclusive?”

She rolls her eyes again and exhales. “I shouldn’t have to ask. He shouldn’t want to be with anyone else when he’s with me.”

I laugh, but rein it in when she shoots me a death glare. “I won’t dispute that, but I will say men are idiots. Sometimes you have to beat them upside the head before they know what you want. Maybe he didn’t think you would want to be exclusive. You’re Alix Fink. He couldn’t get you to look his way for anything in high school.”

“Shut up,” she mutters. “That is so untrue.”

She pulls into my driveway. “Just a thought,” I say.

“Well, it’s a stupid thought,” she mutters again.

I shrug and hop out of the car. “Truth sucks, don’t it?”

Her exaggerated eye roll nearly plows me down. “He’ll have to get over himself before I ever give him the time of day again.”

“Or maybe you’ll just have to hop off your high horse. It’ll hurt a lot more to fall from it.”

“Who says I have a horse to get up on in the first place?” Her attitude shines through her eyes and I laugh, but then I catch myself. It feels disrespectful to laugh, to be happy.

“Bye, Felix.”

She smirks as if she knows why I stopped and pulls out of my driveway.