Memory: Volume 1, Lasting Impressions, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice) (88 page)

“No, I . . .”

“Mr. Darcy.”  Elizabeth said softly.  “We should stay.”

“Elizabeth . . .”

Elizabeth took his hand and squeezed.  “Your continued presence will lend credence to your friendship with Mr. Bingley, and show that your offence remains where it should, with Mr. Wickham.  I am so proud of you, Fitzwilliam, you knew this was wrong and stopped it from going further.  Not speaking immediately would have allowed the farce to continue, and we know how hard it is to live down rumours.  In the past two days I have seen you reject my pleas to step away from a confrontation.  Clearly I have learned that my husband will protect anyone who he feels resides under his care.  I will not question it again.”

Darcy raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.  “No dearest, I am not infallible.  I rely on you to check me.  After all, I was about to walk from this house, was I not?”

“We will stay, then?”  She smiled and caressed his temple.

 He nodded but glanced at Caroline then back to his wife.  Elizabeth knew that she needed to relieve his concern if he was to stay and leaned forward to whisper to Bingley.  “Do you see how your sister stares at my husband?  I do not wish to start a fight with her, now do I?  Imagine the gossip!  I hope that you will repay the favour of our remaining by keeping her occupied?”  She felt Darcy’s hand grip hers hard and she laughed to see his expression relax.

Bingley smiled with relief and gladly joined Elizabeth.  “I will be happy to do so.  I am relieved that I decided to show Darcy the settlement before signing it, as well.  At least I managed to do one thing right.  I am ashamed of how gullible I have been.  Whatever Caroline is thinking, I promise I will make it clear that her future will not in any way be connected to you.  We are all aware now that her desire for Wickham was really her desire for Pemberley.”  Darcy closed his eyes and groaned.  “That is what she stated, was it not?  That is what was behind her accepting Wickham?  It certainly was not his level of society; it was the hope of blending into yours.”

“She will never be welcomed there.”  Darcy said quietly.  “Forgive me, Bingley, but I will not be swayed from that.”

“I understand, I only hope that I am still welcome.” 

Darcy felt Elizabeth lean on his shoulder, and he met her gaze.  His lips lifted in a little smile and he squeezed her hand.  “I think that we can tolerate you.  You struck Wickham, that is worth a great deal in my book.”  His smile fell away.  “I apologize for failing you.”

“Hardly.  I failed my sister, and that is my responsibility.  I cannot imagine you being so oblivious that a man could make such an attempt on Miss Darcy.”  Noting the look of horror on Darcy’s face, he nodded.  “No man will ever win her hand solely for her dowry; you will make sure of that, Darcy.  Your sister will be treasured just as Mrs. Darcy is treasured by you.”

“I hope so.”  He looked back to Elizabeth.

“Will Mr. Wickham seek revenge upon you?”  She asked worriedly.  “He did narrowly lose a fortune because of your interference.”

“I will not lose sleep over him.”  Darcy kissed her hand. 

 “Miss Bingley seems to be taking the news surprisingly well.”  They looked at her and collectively shuddered at the fixed smile on her face.

“As I said, the storm will come after everyone departs.  Look how disappointed my brother is.”  Bingley nodded to Hurst.  “He thought he was at last going to be rid of her.”

“After this embarrassment, perhaps she will be willing to look at the genuine gentlemen who would not mind marrying her.”  Darcy said thoughtfully.

 “It would have been a good match for her if he was genuine; there is no shame in marrying a gentleman who has studied the law.”  Elizabeth observed then felt Darcy’s finger tracing over her wedding ring and looked up to his face.  “Of course, I prefer farmers myself.”

At last Darcy’s eyes lit up and he smiled and laughed.  “And I prefer the farmer’s daughter.” 

8 JULY 1809

There was a small item in the paper this morning about Miss Caroline Bingley withdrawing her affections from George Wickham, Esq. and announcing that any rumours of an engagement were to be ignored.  I had to laugh at the speed with which Miss Bingley moved to announce her availability to the world again.  I suppose with only a month left in the Season, she needs to act quickly before the available suitors disappear to the countryside, at least the ones that interest her.  I remain amazed at the entire situation.  I would say that under other circumstances, Wickham and Miss Bingley were actually well-suited for each other.  If money had been no object, they would have got on quite well, but each was using the other for their own means.  I wonder if he would have abandoned her after marriage.  At least this way she still has her dowry and may look again, otherwise she would be Hurst and Bingley’s responsibility forever.  Elizabeth assures me that an invitation to Miss Bingley to visit Pemberley is not forthcoming from her, and as she is the mistress, I will of course bow to her will.  It does not at all pain me to do so. 

Tomorrow we will visit the Gardiners and say our farewells.  We have not seen them since the wedding and it will be a novelty to sit in their parlour and not be distracted with thoughts of how to steal a moment alone with Elizabeth.  Instead I imagine I will be distracted with thoughts of our last encounter.  Even now my beautiful bride sleeps only feet away from me, exhausted by our long night of lovemaking.  I cannot get enough of her, the feeling of surrounding her body with mine and the sensation of her heart pounding against my own thrills me to the bone.  She is still shy at the most unexpected times, I wonder if I will see her that way forever, I cannot help but say that I enjoy it, but I am also enjoying her beginning to take the lead in instigating our play, and each new touch of hers makes me want her more.  I suppose that I am simply lost to her no matter how she comes to me, shy or bold.   I cannot imagine living with a woman and calling her wife without such desire.  It would be a farce.  I read the vows we took last night as she slept and it occurred to me that those who marry for security also lie when they marry.  We vow to love each other.  No love exists in a marriage of convenience.  If I am grateful for anything my ancestors have given me it is the freedom to marry honestly.  I am desperately anxious to bring my dearest friend home.  I dearly wish to hear her opinions and see her happiness.  I cannot wait to invite her to work by my side and learn with me.  I am still so lost there; I cannot imagine the loneliness I would have felt to return without her.

Elizabeth closed his journal and returned it to its place next to hers on their shared writing desk, and contemplated his words.  “You overwhelm me, Fitzwilliam.  One moment you are so strong, defending your family and friends from any who would hurt them; and the next you are so gentle and vulnerable.”  She passed her hand over the cover, then pulling several ribbons from her hair, created an intricate and colourful lover’s knot.  She reopened his book and placed the token on the last page, so he would know that she had been there to visit.  Smiling at the gift that peeked from the pages she stood and looked into their bedchamber, where he lay in his immovable slumber.  “I think that when we are home at Pemberley, I will have to experiment with ways to awaken you, my love.”  She happily considered his uncovered form, remembering which touches aroused his ardour and stealing over to his side for a moment, kissed his bottom.  A little sigh escaped from his chest.  She giggled and stole away.  “I think that I know where to begin!”

“YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS about Miss Gannon, can you?”  Laura asked her brother after he told her about their dancing at another ball the night before.  “Surely you will not call on her?”

“Why not?”  He smiled at her rolling eyes.  “Oh come on, you are the one who told me to start looking around at others!”

“Yes, but a twin of Elizabeth Darcy is not what I had in mind.  She is a weak imitation of the woman!  If she was so wonderful, do you really think that Mr. Darcy would have abandoned her so quickly at the vaguest suggestion that Elizabeth was in town and thinking of him?”  She laughed.  “Please Daniel.  Victoria Gannon is just as conniving as her mother and as the niece of Lord Creary; I have no doubt that she is not going to entertain any thoughts of marrying a second son, no matter how successful you are.  Her nose is so far in the air I wonder that she does not trip when she walks!”

“I think that you are exaggerating a bit.  Although after Lord Creary’s humiliation spread around town, I imagine that none of their noses are too far off of the ground.  Father has certainly been enjoying bringing the subject up to all the other Lords.”  He chuckled and laughed to see her shaking head.  “What do you want of me?  Perhaps I am simply meant to be a bachelor; it is certainly fashionable for men not to marry these days.  Wives and families are expensive.”

“They are, but you are doing well, and I am certain that one day you will be a judge.  And besides, you need to be loved.”

“That is a sweet sentiment, but very rare.  You know that from your experiences.  What about you, by the way, you seem to have withdrawn from society.”

“I have decided to take care of you.  You deserve a good woman who truly cares for you, only you, and I am going to find her for you.”  She said determinedly.

“You did not answer my question, dear.”

“I . . . I am going to wait for Mr. Harwick.”  She said softly.  “I think that he just needs a little more time, but that his experience this Season taught him to hope that . . . That he might marry for affection again.”  She looked up at Stewart.  “Perhaps I am foolish to do so, but I care for him.”

“I admire your sentiments, Laura.  I hope that you are not disappointed if his decision goes elsewhere.”  He squeezed her hand and saw her smile softly.  “What do you know that I do not?”

“It is just a feeling.”  She shrugged.  “I think that he is waiting, too.” 

“I do not understand.” 

“That is because you truly have not been in love before.”  Laura smiled.  “No, not with Elizabeth, and not with Audrey Singleton.”  She raised her brows at him.  “Ah, so I was right about that?”

“I do hope that my rivals in court cannot read me so well.”  He sighed.  “So, I really never loved before?”

“I think that Audrey was a childhood friend to you, and a crush for her, maybe someone to think fondly about when things were so difficult with her husband.  Elizabeth would have been a delightful partner for you under different circumstances, and you could have had a wonderful marriage.  However, her heart was taken before you met, and you were not really prepared to accept her under any circumstances . . .  That is over; it is time to move on.  Agreed?”

“No Miss Gannon, then?” 

“Absolutely not!”  She declared. 

“Very well then Sister, guide your hopeless brother.”  He stood and gave her a hug before leaving the room.  “I am counting on you.”

Chapter 31

D
arcy was seated at his desk sorting through papers to take to Pemberley when Foster appeared at the door.  “Sir, Mr. Bingley and Mr. Hurst have arrived, shall I tell them you are on your way out?”  He closed his eyes; the visit was not entirely unexpected.  “No, no, please show them in.”    Rising to his feet, he waited for them to enter, glancing down at the papers in the process, and trying to remember his intentions before his friend drove them from his mind. 

“Darcy, good morning.”  Bingley said quietly.

“Thank you for this, Mr. Darcy.”  Hurst added.

“You are welcome.”  Looking over the unusually subdued and sober miens of the gentlemen he indicated the chairs before his desk.  “Should I assume that this will be a lengthy interview?”

“We need advice regarding Caroline; she is determined to ruin herself with vindictiveness towards Wickham.” 

Darcy sighed.  “Very well, we were about to visit the Gardiners.  I will send Elizabeth ahead and join her there later.”

“I am sorry Darcy.  We are interrupting your plans.”  Bingley began to rise and Darcy stopped him. 

“No, I understand very well the need to act swiftly and of course, we are leaving for Pemberley in two days.  If you want my advice it must be now.  Excuse me.”  He left the room and walked upstairs to where Elizabeth was talking to Mrs. Mercer and attempting to stop her itching fingers from helping Millie to pack.  “Mrs. Darcy.”  He said quietly.  The women looked up and instantly Mrs. Mercer gave Millie a glance and they disappeared.  Elizabeth laughed when the door closed.

“What on earth have you said to them?”  She put her hands on her hips.  “Do you notice that the servants seem to evaporate whenever you and I are alone?”

Darcy smiled and walking forward, claimed her hands.  “I asked Mrs. Mercer to inform them that we value our privacy, to always knock, and when the winter comes, to be mindful of our activity before entering to tend the fires.”  He kissed her rising brow and chuckled.  “I believe that Mrs. Mercer has determined that we do not want any servants separating us at any time.”

“I believe that Mrs. Mercer is delighted to see you smile.”  She rose up on her toes and kissed his nose.  “Now what brings you here?  We are not to leave for a half hour.”

He smiled at her for a few moments before he continued.  “Bingley and Hurst have arrived and need advice.  It will probably take some time, and rather than delay our visit to the Gardiners, I suggest that you go on ahead, and I will join you as soon as I can.  Just send the carriage back when you arrive.”

“Oh but Fitzwilliam, it takes so long to get there and back, you would not arrive for three hours that way!” 

“I doubt that it will take quite that long.”  He laughed to see her doubtful expression.  “Well, maybe. We were just going to spend the afternoon with them.  You will have time to talk with your aunt and sister without worrying over neglecting me.”  His eyes twinkled and she pursed her lips.  “Admit it, love.  You would.  Go on and enjoy your time, I will be along as soon as I can.  I will send a maid and footman with you and . . .”