Memory: Volume 1, Lasting Impressions, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice) (92 page)

“Eliza.”  She opened her arms and they embraced.  Charlotte held her face in her hands.  “Your father sent a servant with a note.  Thank you for wishing to say goodbye to me.”

“I could not leave without seeing you.”  Elizabeth smiled and Charlotte took her hand to look at her ring. 

“You give hope to all of us spinsters, you know.  If you happen to find any lonely rich men in search of a bride, my family would be much obliged.” 

“I imagine that Mama will not let me marry off the neighbours before her own daughters, but if I find a gentleman for you I will surely point him this way.” 

“Thank you.”  Charlotte laughed.  “Where is your mother, I thought that she would be here overseeing your packing.”

“Mama saw the proof of my marriage on my hand and Fitzwilliam’s presence; she does not need more from me.”  Elizabeth looked up when Mary hugged her.  “It is just as well; perhaps the knowledge that Fitzwilliam will not let the family starve will help her to improve.” 

“I hope so Lizzy.”  Jane came to add her arms to the hug.  “I will do my best to remind her of that.  Perhaps when you return she will be a new woman!”  The girls laughed and wiped their eyes, it was not long before Elizabeth was summoned to her father’s bookroom. 

“Oh Lizzy, must you go already?”  Mary sighed.

Elizabeth squeezed her hand.  “Write to me, please.  I want to hear everything that you are learning, and we will see you very soon.” 

“I fear that we will see no more of you until you depart.  I will continue your packing.”  Jane hugged her once more.  “Go on; make your peace with him.”

“I will.”  She took one last look around the room and smiling at the small empty bed, walked away.

10 JULY 1809

My husband sleeps at last, and I still cannot.  I have never slept at an inn before, and although this is certainly a very fine establishment, I do not feel comfortable.  Fitzwilliam clearly does not either, and he did not even suggest that we love each other here.  Perhaps our conversation at Matlock House discouraged him, but I certainly do not appreciate hearing our neighbour’s cough, and I definitely would not wish for him to overhear the sounds of our marriage bed.  Although as I write this, I hear the steady creaking of a bed on the other side of the hall, and I am no longer ignorant to the meaning.

Papa and I talked, and he apologized for many things.  I enjoyed sitting in my old chair again, but already I felt that I was a visitor to that room.  He asked me if I saw improvement in my sisters.  I was sorry to say that I only noticed a change in Mary, who had been forced to give up her sermons.  Kitty and Lydia are still influenced by Mama.  She at last recovered from her fit of nerves in time to wave goodbye to us.  She is perhaps a little less silly, now that her future is secured by our marriage, but maybe that is only what I hoped to see.  It was very refreshing to be treated so kindly by her at the end.  I never thought I would see the day that she thought I had done well with anything, but I could not forget a lifetime of disdain in one visit, and honestly, I have no desire for more than seeing her again in autumn.

Papa remarked on Fitzwilliam, how powerful he was.  I admit that I laughed.  I suppose that I see the side of him that nobody else ever will; he is passionate and playful, and shy, and so very dear to me.  Papa is clearly trying to make amends with him, but I do not know if he realizes that the only way to make amends to Fitzwilliam is by doing well by his family.  That is what will earn my husband’s respect.

“Come to bed, Lizzy.”  Darcy murmured from his pillow.  She looked up in surprise, and saw that he was deeply asleep.  Elizabeth closed her journal and blew out the candle, then slipped into the bed beside him.  “I love you.”  He whispered in his dream.

“I love you.”  She whispered back and stroked his hair.  “My sleepy Will.”

“Kiss me.” 

Elizabeth smiled, seeing his lips pucker and touch the pillow.  She leaned to his ear and kissed the lobe.  He sighed and she moved close to give his lips her own to caress, then cuddled her giant of a husband to her, laying her cheek on his head as he burrowed into her embrace and rested his face on her shoulder. “Take me home.”  She whispered and felt him stir.  Darcy lifted his head to look at her sleepily and gave her a slow soft kiss.

“That is where you are now.”  He smiled and kissed her again before cuddling back into her arms and hugging her.  “Sleep Mrs. Darcy, sleep.”

Chapter 32

“E
lizabeth.”  Darcy whispered urgently.  “Dearest please . . .” He slipped his arms around her sleeping form and moaned.  “Oh Lizzy my love, you are so soft!”  He rested his forehead on the back of her neck and pressed himself against her.  It was the third day of their travels, it was long past midnight, the moon was new, and at last the inn was silent.  The only sound was the hearty snoring coming from a room down the hall.  Darcy had resisted the exceptional temptation that sleeping with Elizabeth presented over the last two nights, being sure to chastely kiss her and lie by her side; and eventually fall asleep, aching and miserable, determined not to give up their privacy by allowing anyone else to hear their lovemaking, only to awaken to find them entwined yet separated by far too much fabric.  But Elizabeth had taken a bath when they arrived, and her hair was scented with rosewater, and her warm body was curled against his, and her nightdress lifted away so easily, and . . . and . . . and . . . “Lizzy, please!”  She blinked open her eyes to sense Darcy hovering above, feeling him more than seeing in the pitch black room.  His erratic breaths washed over her.  “Fitz . . .” Her mouth was engulfed by his, and she was surrounded by his body before another tick of the clock passed.  Her fingers ran up into his hair and his kisses devoured her.

“Off.  Lizzy this must come off!”  He grabbed the night dress, lifting it up and over her head.  He groaned,   “I cannot see you!”  His hands slid up over her form, and holding her breasts, he lowered his head, hungrily suckling one, then moving this head to lick and nip the other. 

“Oh Will!”  She moaned and he moved back up to her mouth. 

“I cannot spend another night this way!”  He sighed into her ear.  “Please my love, please, if we are very slow and . . .”

“Yes.”  She tugged at his night shirt and he threw it off, and already forgetting his rules groaned loudly with the feel of their skin meeting once again.  “shhhh!”  She whispered urgently.

“I cannot help it.  You feel so good!”  Immediately he started kissing below her ear and she gasped, then moaned.  “Shhhhhhh, dearest!” 

“Ohhhhh, Will . . . Fitzwill . . .”

“Shhh!”  He commanded then suckled her ear, tracing his tongue over the lobe and licking her throat.  Elizabeth responded by rubbing her hands up his back and down over his bottom, slipping between them to fondle his manhood then when he begged her for more, she let go and their bed was soon creaking and groaning to the steady and desperate movement of their joined bodies.  Their hands and mouths were in constant motion, their moans grew increasingly louder.  Darcy lifted his chest up, still thrusting his hips vigorously, and pressed his forehead to hers.  “Quiet!”

“Are you insane?”  Elizabeth laughed.

Darcy laughed when the bed thumped against the wall.  “Yes I am.”  He closed his eyes as Elizabeth’s moans brought him to the edge.  When she cried his name, he bellowed hers and collapsed onto her.  They lay panting in each other’s arms until Elizabeth gulped and began to giggle.  Darcy moved off of her and wiped his dripping brow, then hers.  He laughed and gathered her up to his chest to bury his face in her damp, sweet hair. Someone pounded on their door to be quiet and they both gasped and felt warm blushes of embarrassment spreading over each other.  They lay silently clasped, barely breathing, and listening for the sounds of the footsteps and voices to go away.  “We can never stay here again.”  He said positively. 

“No, never.”  She agreed, and burrowed even closer into the absolute safety of his arms.  “I am so embarrassed.”

“So am I.”  He squeezed her tight, and then sighed as they relaxed their grips slightly.  “We are such fools.”

“But we are happy fools.” 

“That we are.”  He kissed her.  “I love you.”

“I love you.” 

“I could never be this way with any other person.”

“Mortified?”

He smiled and kissed her gently, then closed his eyes.  “Yes.  Only with you.”

She smiled, hearing his deep steady breathing had already begun, and rested her head over his heart.  “Only with you could I be so embarrassed and feel so good.”

TWELVE HOURS LATER, Darcy took Elizabeth’s hand and lifted it to his mouth.  “Here we are.”  The carriage turned onto the gravelled drive and he nodded to the man standing by the gate at the lodge.  Feeling her stiffen he slipped his arms around her waist.  “Please do not be afraid.”

“I cannot help it.”  She looked away from the endless trees and back to him.  “Suddenly this is real.”

“What was it before?”

Elizabeth smiled to see the warmth in his eyes.  “I suppose that it was a dreamlike state.”

“So all of our experiences in London were so very pleasant that you would describe them as fantasy?”  Now his lips twitched and she laughed. 

“Well, perhaps certain experiences were fantastic.”  She caressed his cheek and his smile grew.  “Please be patient with me.”

“I am learning with you, dearest.  I know nothing of the houses, not really, I barely know the estate.  I rather like the idea that we are on similar footing.  I like us learning together.”  Darcy kissed her then turned so that she was facing the window.  He rested his chin on her shoulder.  “Now, watch.  When we come to the top of the rise, you will see our home.”  Elizabeth nodded and gripped the hands that rested over her waist.  Darcy passed the time pressing light kisses to her cheek and throat, then hearing the changing stride of the horses, he stopped and hugged her.  “Look upon your world, my love.” 

“Oh!”  She gasped softly and leaned forward to gaze out of the open window, resting her hands on the frame.  Darcy leaned with her, and pointed as they rolled along.

“There, do you see where the stone is blackened in the rear of the house?  That is where the fire raged.  I can see the new roof there, do you?  They have made great progress.”  Elizabeth began to feel overwhelmed and looked back at him to see that his focus was sharp and his eyes were moving everywhere at once, assessing and examining the view below, and for the first time she saw her husband slip into his role as master.  It took him a few moments before he realized that the view Elizabeth was watching was not the valley below, but his face.  Darcy’s expression became very shy.  “Why do you stare at me so?  Do you not care for Pemberley?”

“I do very much.”  She kissed him.  “Could we stop the carriage and walk to the house?”

“Walk?”  He started to laugh.  “It is not a simple stroll through the meadow to arrive there, my love.”

“But I can see paths cut through the trees!”  She turned back around and pointed.  “Look!”

“Yes, those are for hunting, not for . . . Elizabeth; a moment ago you were frightened!”

“I know, it is the strangest thing, but I saw you looking over your land, and you look so proud, and not at all intimidated, even though you just confessed to me how little you know.  Well if you can find the courage to be master then I shall find the same to be mistress.”  She smiled at the passing scenery.  “We shall do very well together.” 

Darcy’s embrace grew tighter and he kissed her cheek.   “My father would have loved you.”

“As long as his son does, I will be fine.”  She turned back and kissed his chin.  “Now, about this walk?”

“No, there will be plenty of time for walking, but I will not bring the mistress home on foot.”  He moved back and drew her along so that she was turned to face him.  “And you promised to learn to ride, remember?”

“Oh yes, when shall you teach me?”

He chuckled as she came alive with excitement.  “Is tomorrow too soon?” 

“Will you have time?   Since you have been away, I am sure that your steward will demand your attention.”

“He will, but as far as I am concerned, we are on our honeymoon until Georgiana returns.  I will work but only as necessary.  This time is a precious gift for us, my love.  I shall not waste it.”  He kissed her slowly and delighted in her response.  “Oh, such plans I have for you!”

“Well what are they?”  She demanded.  “You have given me no inkling of these plans, even Georgiana knows more than I!”

“Jealous?”  He chuckled. 

“Fitzwilliam!” 

“Hush.”  He kissed her.  “Look, the staff is assembled to meet you.”

“Oh no.”  She whispered and sunk back into his arms. 

“Courage, my love.  They are here for your service.  You are the mistress of this home.  They work for you now.”  He raised his brow at her.  “The house is yours, Elizabeth, for as long as you live.”

“You are not helping me, Mr. Darcy.”  She sighed and closed her eyes, summoning all of the advice her aunts had heaped upon her before leaving London.  The carriage stopped and she made no attempt to move. 

“Elizabeth.”  He said softly.  “It is time.”

The carriage door opened.  Darcy let her go and stepped down, nodding to the staff then offering his hand, Elizabeth stepped out and met his slight smile with a brilliant one of her own.  His eyes lit up and she laughed. “Well, one thing is certain, if I make a mistake, I shall not be dismissed from the position.”

“I could lock you up in the attic.”  He suggested as she stepped down.

“Oh that would be far too inconvenient for you.”  She disagreed and took his arm.

“True, I do so enjoy admiring your figure.”  Darcy smiled and she laughed.  “What would I do without your laugh as well?”

“Are you flirting with me?”  Elizabeth tilted her head.  “I like it.”

“I am not very good at it.”