Merry Cowboy Christmas (19 page)

He pulled her even closer. “I should go.”

“Not yet. Stay a little while longer.”

They fell asleep in each other's arms, totally exhausted and absolutely satisfied.

F
iona awoke slowly and reached for Jud but he wasn't there. She was wrapped up inside the white chenille bedspread like a caterpillar in a cocoon. The fringe from the edges tickled her nose and she sneezed three times in rapid succession before she finally broke free from her bindings.

Something between freezing rain and sleet beat against the windowpane when she slung her legs off the bed. Jud's scent was on her body, so she gathered up her nightclothes, checked the hall, and jogged to the bathroom for a quick shower. If she could detect that wonderful smell of shaving lotion and pure sex, then Dora June would take one sniff and the questions would start.

Instead of the plain old shower soap she usually used, she chose a rose-scented body wash and just in case there was anything left of Jud lingering behind in her hair, she washed it, too. Tingles shot up and down her spine when she shut her eyes and thought about him brushing the tangles from her hair and then massaging her scalp. Then she flashed on his naked body on hers and she had to remember to breathe.

Warm water sprayed over her back for a full minute after she'd rinsed the last of the conditioner from her hair; then she turned off the water and stepped out of the tub. One towel was wrapped turban style around her head and another around her body as she went from bathroom to bedroom, where she dressed before padding downstairs for breakfast.

“Looks like we're in for a nasty day,” Dora June said.

“Yes, it does and I still didn't get those snow tires put on the car like Mama wanted me to do. I'll take it easy,” Fiona answered.

“You might as well close up the store and stay home.”

“There may not be a lot of customers, but I could get all caught up on my bookkeeping work.” Fiona removed a lid from a pot on the stove and took a big sniff. “I love your oatmeal, Dora June.”

“It ain't nothing special. I just add some granola to it, lots of butter and cream, right off the top of the milk that Truman brings in every morning, and a touch of cinnamon. Oatmeal is kind of bland without some help.” Dora June beamed at the compliment.

Fiona listened with one ear as Dora June talked excitedly about the upcoming party, about doing some more Christmas shopping on Sunday if the weather was fit, and how happy she was that Truman had decided to play the part of Santa. “Although I'll never understand how them boys got him to do it. Why, you'd think it was his idea.” She went from one tangent to another.

Fiona nodded at the right moments. When she'd swallowed the last bite Fiona pointed at the clock on the microwave. “Oh my! It's already seven o'clock. My coffee drinkers will think I've died. I've got to get going. Save all the ugly cookies for me.” She took the stairs two at a time with Dora June's voice following her.

“You wear something warm. Your mama will be disappointed in me if you get sick. And drive safe!”

“Yes, ma'am,” Fiona threw over her shoulder.

Dora June was a prophet. Not even the regular coffee drinkers came by the store that morning. The sleet had stopped, but the freezing drizzle coated every twig on the mesquite and scrub oaks in that part of Texas. Even the cow tongue cactus got a blanket of ice on the spiny little needles protruding from their thick leaves.

Nadine came by in the middle of the morning to drop off the week's journey tapes and the business from her café. “I've hung a sign on the door that I'm closing early and won't be in tomorrow or Friday. I hate winter. This didn't start until you came back. Did you cause it?”

“Not me. If I would have brought anything, it would have been heat. It never does this in Houston.”

“Well, crap! I was hoping I could blame you for this.” Nadine sighed.

“Maybe it would warm up if you'd go home and spend the whole afternoon in bed with your new husband,” Fiona teased.

“I tried that last night and look what happened. We got freezing rain. I'm afraid to do it again for fear we'll have a downright blizzard. Maybe you need to help out and take that sexy man you're livin' with to bed.”

Fiona fanned herself with the back of her hand. “Oh, darlin', there would be a heat wave come through here that would fry the whiskers off Truman's goats if I did something that wild.”

“I don't have a doubt that you are right, so go home and try it. I'll see you Friday unless this keeps up. I don't mind a white Christmas, but I hate ice.” Nadine ducked her head against the driving wind trying to push her back into the store.

At noon, Lizzy popped inside the back room. Ice crystals covered her brown suede jacket and stuck to her stocking hat. “God almighty! What did we do to deserve another hard winter?”

“Should be good for business. Don't farmers and ranchers need more cattle feed when it's this cold? Fix us both a cup of hot chocolate and pull up a chair. Are you closing, too?”

Lizzy filled two mugs and swiped two maple-covered doughnuts from the glass enclosure. “Too? Did Nadine close the café?”

“She just left. The beauty shop and the day care have signs on the doors so I guess I'm the only person in town who's still open.” Fiona reached for a doughnut. “What are you going to do all day if you close up?”

“I'm going to help Dora June make cookies for the party.”

“Hey, where's Lizzy…Oh there you are.” Allie pushed her way through the back door with Audrey in a carrier covered with a bright colored baby quilt.

“Holy crap, Allie! What are you doing out in this with a baby?” Fiona scolded.

“Dora June said to bring three dozen eggs and a bottle of vanilla extract with me. I didn't have that at the house so I ran by to get it. Audrey is fine. See.” Allie whipped the quilt off to show Fiona a smiling baby girl all bundled up in pink fleece.

“Come here to Aunt Fee-Fee, darlin' girl,” Fiona crooned as she unhooked all the buckles and took the baby from the carrier. “Aren't you the cutest thing ever? You look like a princess in all that pink. I believe you need a tiara with pink rhinestones in it for your Christmas present.”

Lizzy's brown eyes twinkled. “You look good holding that baby.”

“She really does,” Allie agreed.

Fiona's full lips curled in a smile and then it hit her like a wrecking ball. She hadn't even thought of protection the night before. Jud had most likely thought she was on the pill, but she hadn't used them in a year. Why buy something that cost a fortune without the help of insurance when it wasn't necessary?

“Are you okay?” Lizzy asked worriedly. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“I'm fine.” Fiona managed a tight smile. “Don't start trying to fix me up with every eligible bachelor in the county.”

“Wouldn't dream of it,” Allie laughed. “But give the baby one more kiss because if I don't get the eggs and vanilla to Dora June soon, she can't make any more cookies. According to her, it won't matter if the ranchers have to use sleds and mules to pull them, the party will be huge and a success.”

“Oh, yeah?” Lizzy asked.

“She says that no rancher would stay home when Bubba Joe's catering barbecue and when there's free booze on a cold night,” Allie said. “Besides, everyone in this part of Texas will turn out just to see Truman dressed up like Santa damn Claus.”

“Who's going to Wichita Falls to buy the liquor?” Fiona asked, but her mind was still on unprotected sex.

“Jud volunteered to pick it up next week. You going with him?” Lizzy asked.

“Depends on how many cookies y'all get made. I might need to stay home and help cook.” Fiona kissed Audrey's chubby cheek once more and handed her off to Allie.

“What's going on with you two?” Allie asked bluntly.

“We're friends, I guess.” How could she answer that honestly when she wasn't sure what they were or what she really wanted them to be? How would last night affect anything they might or might not have? She mentally calculated how many days until she'd know for sure if the night had produced a positive sign on a pregnancy test and came up with the lucky number seven.

In one week, just two days before the party, she would know because she'd never been a day late in her life. Regular as clockwork and hopefully this wasn't ovulation time.

“He looks at you like you could be more than friends,” Allie said.

“That's because there's not an abundance of eligible women in Dry Creek. When we have the party, you can bet all the women will come out of the woodwork to get a chance at him and he'll look at me a hell of a lot differently then.”

“Will that make you jealous?”

Fiona shook her head. “Hell no! We'd never—”

Lizzy cut her off. “Never say never. I said it and Allie said it and look what happened. Not that I'm complainin' one bit. If you get tired of book work, come on home and we'll let you play with the baby if you don't want to cook with us.”

Ten minutes later, Fiona was alone with nothing but her scary thoughts and numbers on the computer that wouldn't stop blurring when she looked at them.

The truck tires slid to one side of the slippery road before Jud got control of the steering wheel. The wipers worked as fast as they could, but the sleet and snow mixture fell faster than they could swipe the windshield clean. Stupid! Stupid! That's what he was. He never had unprotected sex. It didn't matter if she was on the pill or swore she'd had a hysterectomy; he took precautions of his own.

He slapped the steering wheel, went into another long, greasy slide, and grabbed the thing like a long-lost brother, straightening up in a few seconds. If only it were that easy to get control of his irresponsibility, the world would be right.

There wasn't one single car or truck on Main Street. Of course not: All the smart people were home counting their condom supply. He circled around behind the convenience store. Katy's red car was right next to the back door and the lights from the store cast a yellow glow out the window through the driving winter storm.

He slid in beside the car and ran from truck to the back room of the store. Without knocking, he rushed inside, stomped the white stuff from his boots onto the rug in front of the door, and looked around for Fiona. The desk chair was empty. The lights in the front of the store were turned off and her computer screen was dark.

“Fiona,” he called out, and heard the sound of her boots on the tile floor.

“I was making sure everything was locked up for the weekend,” she said. “What brings you to town? Does Dora June need something else? Good thing you got here when you did because I'm sure not coming back out in this miserable weather once I get home.” She paused. “About last night…”

“I'm so, so sorry. I always, always…” His chest tightened.

Fiona hiked a hip on the desk. “It's not just your fault. I didn't think of it, either.”

Those green eyes drew him to her. He should take her into his arms and assure her that if their unprotected sex had caused a problem he would share in the responsibility. But his feet were glued to the floor.

“You've got that deer-in-the-headlights look in your eyes.” She managed a weak smile.

She was right. He felt like a big buck whitetail deer standing in the middle of the road with a semi coming right at him. What in the hell had he been thinking? He hadn't been! That was the whole problem. He wanted Fiona; she wanted him. They were consenting adults.

“I wouldn't marry you, even if I was pregnant,” she said softly.

“Why?”

“Because of the way you look right now and because you are going to live in Dry Creek and I'm going to move away. Those are the facts that can't be changed. Life is more than a brand of cereal. If it was meant that I'd be a single parent, then so be it. If not and according to the calendar, the time of ovulation should be over, then so be that, too. I'm learning to deal with the problems life throws at me, Jud.”

“Well, I want you to know that if a baby happens, you won't have to deal with it alone. I would never…”

She smiled. “I know.”

“Are we good, then?” he asked.

“We're good.” She nodded. “Front door is locked. Lights are out. Thermostat is adjusted. Book work is all caught up. Can we go home now?”

He nodded and held the door open for her.

She'd said the words, but he hadn't felt them—not at all. Instead of instant relief, his heart was a stone in his chest. The wind blew freezing rain across his face with such force that he ducked his chin and jogged to his truck. He was inside with the wipers on and the truck engine running when he noticed that Fiona was frantically scraping at the layer of ice on her windshield.

Leaving his engine running, he grabbed his scraper and hurried over to help her. Some boyfriend he was, not even giving her a thought.

Wait, boyfriend?

Why not?
asked a little voice in his head.

Because they were too different, wanted different things. Roots. Wings. Country living. Big city life. Oil did not mix with water.

“Another reason I don't like north-central Texas,” she yelled above the howling wind.

“Get in the car and I'll finish this. You don't even have gloves. Your fingers will freeze. We have got to get those other tires on this car,” he shouted.

She didn't argue, which was a miracle. He'd expected a dirty look that would melt the ice and scare away the gray skies but she nodded and got into the car. He could see her blowing on her hands to warm them and mentally kicked himself for not taking care of this sooner.

Boyfriend?

The word popped back into his mind.

Friends?

He argued with the voice in his head.

With benefits?

He shook his head. He couldn't do that because Fiona deserved so much more.