Metal Urge (38 page)

“We thought you might like to read some of these cards and letters to him,” Alistair said, pulling an envelope out of the bag and handing it to her.  “It might lift his spirits, yeah?”

She opened the envelope and pulled out a get well card covered in signatures.  The return address was in Austin, Texas.

“There was a story about Nigel on the news and in the papers after the accident,” Thom said.  “You wouldn’t believe how many calls Andy’s office has taken from fans in Britain and the States.  Hell, there were calls from all over the world.  Bloody fantastic, yeah?”

She nodded and placed the card back in its envelope.  “Is Andy stopping by?”

“Yeah, absolutely, in fact he should be here any minute,” Brad smiled reassuringly at her.

The band members settled into chairs around Deanna and talked quietly amongst themselves until their manager arrived.  Just moments after Andy walked into the waiting room Neville came by to let them know they had fifteen minutes with Nigel.  As he thanked each man, he shook their hands, glad they were here to visit his brother.  Physically Nigel was making strides but emotionally he seemed depressed, and at times, extremely agitated over the fact that he couldn’t speak.  Surely his band mates’ support would help lift his flagging spirits.  He noticed that Deanna seemed preoccupied as she sifted through a large bag of mail.

“Did you go home to take a shower and have a kip?”

She looked at him and nodded, still distracted.

“Is something bothering you, love?”

Deanna sighed and let go of the mail bag.  “I know what your family thinks of me.  I’m not blind.  I can see the disgust on your parent’s faces every time they look at me.”

“I'm sorry, Deanna.  This hasn't been easy on them, yeah?  They don't really understand the situation.”

She turned to him and shook her head.  “What is there to understand, Neville?  I love Nigel.  I’ve been in love with him since last May when I saw him standing on the stage in that grimy pub in Soho.  He was covered from head to toe in leather and studs…I'd never seen such an fascinating guy in all of my life,” she said, her voice breaking.

Neville held up his hand, “I know that Nigel dated you.  He told me all about his lovely American girlfriend.  I also know that he broke it off with you.”

“And you think that I used Thom to lure him back, right?”

“Well, no, I mean…”

Deanna laughed, a grim, unpleasant sound, and stared at Neville, her eyes filled with pain.  “Thom is my best friend.  You have no idea what he’s done for me or what he means to me.  I married him because I loved him.  I still love him.”  She hugged herself and bowed her head.  “But, Nigel is my soul mate,” she said quietly.  A moment later she looked up at Neville almost defiantly.  “I never stopped loving him, and I never will.  I refuse to apologize for the fact that we found our way back to each other again.  I didn't mean to hurt Thom or anyone else and Thom knows that now.  He said he's forgiven me so why can’t your parents just let it go?”

“I’m sorry, Deanna, I truly am, but you must understand that my parents don’t know about any of this, nor did I until you told me.  All they know is that they watched you marry Nigel's best mate only to discover that you’re living with Nigel a few months later.  You can see where that would be a bit of a shock, yeah?”

Before she could respond a group of hospital personnel ran past, heading towards Nigel’s room, shouting to get the visitors out of there.  One man was pushing a crash cart.

The bewildered band members and Andy were being herded out of the room, and Neville had to grab Deanna as she screamed “What’s happening?” at one of the nurses rushing past carrying some sort of breathing apparatus.  “Is he dying, Neville?” she whimpered, clinging to his shaking arms.  “Answer me, damn you!” She screamed out Nigel’s name in terror as Thom rushed to her side.

“Deanna, look at me.  Look at me!” Thom commanded, trying to get her to focus on him.  “He was having a bit of trouble breathing so he panicked and his heart rate spiked.  The crash cart is just a precautionary measure.”

“Why couldn’t he breathe?” she said, twisting around to watch Nigel’s door.

“It was probably just a bit too much excitement with all of us yobs talking to him at once.”

“No, you’re lying!”  Deanna tried to pull away, but Thom held her fast.

Nigel’s parents exited the lift as Neville was chasing down one of Nigel’s doctors.  Mrs. Guilford screamed and pulled at her husband’s jacket when she saw the flurry of activity around Nigel’s room.  Two of his specialist’s, the Cardiologist and the Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor spoke quietly to the Guilford’s’, assuring them that their son was going to be alright.  Everyone started to calm down, and Deanna felt Thom tense up against her.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

Thom looked at her with something cold, and strange in his eyes, but it quickly disappeared as he smiled and hugged her tightly.  “Nothing’s wrong, love.  Everything's gonna be just fine.”

****

Each day passed exactly as the one before it.  Deanna could have performed her routine in her sleep: a bittersweet visit with Nigel cut short by some heavily starched harpy, a taxi ride home, shower, eat---if she could stomach it---sleep fitfully for a few hours, dress, then back to the hospital for another torturous round of “What will the doctors proclaim about his condition today?”  He had improved, but his doctors would only commit to “he isn’t out of the woods yet.”  Their reticence pissed her off, Nigel’s parents pissed her off...the whole world pissed her off.

She watched happy families strolling by with vases full of bright flowers and fluffy teddy bears holding “Get well soon” signs in their fuzzy little paws.  Why should they be allowed to go about their business when her beloved Nigel was hovering between life and death; suffering alone and frightened while being held prisoner in that torture chamber filled with cold, unfeeling machinery; attended to by even colder, indifferent hospital staff.  She noticed Neville slip out of the room, his parents close behind, his mother crying as usual and clinging to her husband.  A nurse led his parents away, and Neville lifted his hand, signaling Deanna’s turn in Nigel’s icy prison.

She opened the first of the twenty or so envelopes she had carried in with her that day.  She rested her elbows on the bed, feeling Nigel’s fingers in her hair then trailing along her cheek, down her neck, and back up again.  He continued the prolonged caress as she read the get well cards one by one.  Some included drawings or photographs so she showed those to him, pleased to see the grateful smile in his eyes.  When she finished reading all of the cards, she put them aside and rested her cheek against his palm, gently caressing his arm with her hands.  It was a poor substitute for holding his body close, but it was all they had, and they both relished the tender contact.  The heart monitor beeped slowly as Nigel relaxed under her soothing touch.  When the door opened Deanna could feel his muscles tense as the beeping increased signaling his fear and distress at her leaving.

“You may spend an hour with him today,” the nurse said and closed the door quietly.

Deanna kissed his hand and listened to the steady beeps and gurgles while Nigel’s finger traced her lips.

“Deanna.”  Thom’s voice intruded on their private moment irritating her.  “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to you.”  He entered the room and greeted Nigel in a mock-cheery voice.

“I’ll be back in a minute, babe.”  She stood up and placed a gentle kiss on Nigel’s swollen lips then followed Thom into the small waiting area where the members of Beastrage sat staring at hospital staff rushing about with looks of extreme discomfort lining their young faces.

“They were wondering if they could visit Nigel for a few minutes.”  Thom gestured for the lads to join him and Deanna.

Piper Howlen clasped Deanna’s hands and shook his head, “I'm so sorry about Maggi.  It was bloody awful losing her and Nick.”  He looked away for a moment, swallowing hard before he could continue.  “We’re chuffed that Nigel...well, that Nigel pulled through, and we want to wish him well if that’s alright with you and his folks.”

“Thank you, Piper.”  She smiled as she thanked each one of them for their show of support.

The band members agreed to wait until Deanna checked with Neville, who would no doubt appreciate that they had stopped by for a visit.  She hurried back to Nigel’s room, hating that she lost precious time with him, but it was kind of the members of Beastrage to put aside their feelings of loss to show support for him.  Nigel looked at her questioningly, so she told him about the boys in Beastrage coming by in hopes of seeing him.  He closed his eyes, the pain of losing his mate, Nick evident in his demeanor.  When he blinked his consent, Deanna nodded, happy that he felt strong enough to see Piper and his band mates.

After the remaining members of Beastrage left, she talked quietly to Nigel until a nurse came in to tell her it was time to leave.  Looking back at Nigel trapped in that cold, sterile hospital room she couldn’t help but resent those three cruel words.  He couldn’t thrive on his own---he needed loving human contact---her loving contact.  She couldn’t wait for the day she finally got to tell him that it was time to leave.

Chapter 45

“I went to see Trevor before I came here.  He’s a bloody mess.”  Thom told Deanna right before she went in to visit Nigel.

“Why would you do that?”

“To be perfectly honest, I think he may have tampered with Nigel’s car while he was at my dad’s for Christmas.”

“What?” she gasped.  “Why
was
he at your dad's for Christmas?”

“I s'pose I felt a bit sorry for him,” Thom shrugged, avoiding her questioning gaze.

“You don’t really think he could…that he would want to kill…?”  The words froze in her throat as she considered the volatile relationship between Nigel and Trevor, especially after Nigel had sex with Maggi.

“I dunno, but I tried to get him all worked up.  I actually accused him of sabotaging the car.  He went bloody mental,” Thom said, shaking his head.  “Who knows what he might have been capable of once he started mulling over Maggi and Nigel’s betrayal on Christmas night.  He knew Nigel and the Jag were right next door.  Bloody hell, I never even thought of that at the time.”

“How did he know about the car?” Deanna said, fear crawling up and down her spine.

“My dad told us about it.  Nigel's dad showed it to him the day he brought it home.  He was storing it in his garage at the back of his house.”

“Oh my God,” Deanna groaned.  She got up and ran her hands through her hair.  “I’m going to see Nigel.  We’ll talk more about this when I get back.”

“Tell him I’ll see him soon,” Thom said softly.

Deanna was reading a fan letter to Nigel when Thom opened the door a crack and gestured for her to come out.  She kissed Nigel on the lips, and then kissed him again, reluctant to leave him even for a second.  Looking at her watch, she joined Thom outside of the room obviously impatient to get back to Nigel.

“I have to leave in about thirty minutes.”

“Why?” Deanna frowned.

“I don’t have time to explain right now.  Look, why don’t you take a much needed break.  Get some coffee and something to eat.  I’ll stay with Nigel until you get back.”

“Well,” she said, hesitant to be away from Nigel that long.

“You have a couple of hours with him today, and I’d really like to see him before I leave.  I‘ve got so much to say to him,” Thom implored.

“Alright,” she agreed.  “His family is in a conference with his specialist’s right now so you won’t be interrupted.  The nurse has already checked his vitals, his fluids, and his IV.”  She handed him the rest of the envelopes and smiled, “Maybe you could read a couple more of these letters to him.  They really cheer him up.”  Crossing her arms, Deanna looked Thom straight in the eyes, “Mind what you say to him, okay?  I don't want him getting upset.”

Thom took the envelopes and nodded, “Of course, Deanna.  I’ll see you when you get back.”

She hugged him and set off towards the elevator, turning back to smile at him and wave.

Nigel watched Thom enter the darkened room with a cheeky, dimpled smile on his handsome face, blue eyes sparkling with mirth.

“Well, well, mate.”  Thom walked over to Deanna’s chair and sat down, fanning some envelopes around Nigel’s right hand.  “Your lover, who just so happens to be my wife, is taking a break and left you in my very capable hands.”  He pushed Nigel’s hand aside and grabbed the call button, pulling the cord up and over Nigel’s shoulder, tucking it above his pillow so it was well out of reach.  “We don’t want to be disturbed now do we?  He opened a few of the envelopes, scattering their contents on the bed and the floor and then reached into a pocket inside his leather motorcycle jacket.  “On second thought,” he muttered and removed his hand from the pocket.  Frowning at Nigel, he leaned back and studied him for a moment.  “You’re really fucked-up mate and in about five minutes you’re gonna be completely fucked.”

He slipped on a pair of thin latex gloves, stood up, and walked around the bed, stopping to inspect all of the tubes and machinery.  As he made his way back to the chair, he stopped to jiggle the bag attached to Nigel’s IV and chuckled, “Morphine, yeah?  They’ve made it so bloody easy.”  He stared into Nigel’s wide, fear-filled eyes and nodded.  “That’s right, old
friend
, you’re gonna die today.”  Clutching Nigel’s hand, Thom leaned over and sneered, “You couldn’t leave well enough alone.  You just had to have Deanna after she fell in love with me.  And why is that?”  He squeezed Nigel’s hand hard causing him to grunt with pain.  “The answer’s quite simple really; you’re a bloody selfish bastard who can’t stand to see her happy with someone else.”  Thom let go of Nigel’s hand and stood up.  “You don't really want her.  You just don't want her to be with me.”  Glaring at Nigel with pure hatred, Thom shook his head.  “You treated her like rubbish…I was there remember?  It was your bloody fault she lost her baby.  You’ve no idea how horrible it was watching helplessly as she lay on that filthy floor, her life draining away in a pool of clotted blood while she cried for her dead child.  God only knows why she went crawling back to you, but her time with you ended when she walked out that door.”  Thom pointed to the hospital room door and grimaced.