Mia's Heart (The Paradise Diaries) (14 page)

Because
for some insane reason, I’m still unnerved.

“It’s
okay,” he tells me softly.  He’s stroking my back and I’m trying to catch
my breaths like a normal person.  “You’ve been through a lot. I shouldn’t
have let you float like that alone.  You seemed like you were doing fine,
so I climbed up onto the boat to watch you and I must have fallen asleep. 
I’m so sorry.  This is my fault, Mi.”

I
look up at him.  He’s so sexy and concerned and my heart melts.

“It’s
not your fault that I’m insane,” I tell him firmly.  “I don’t know why I
panicked. I can’t even explain it. Everything just all of a sudden felt so big
and I felt so small and alone.  I guess I kind of freaked out.”

Understatement
of the year.

Gavin’s
dark eyes are soft as he stares at me.  He brushes a thumb across my cheek
and says that he is so very sorry. 

“It
makes sense, Mia,” he tells me.  “You can’t remember who you are.  So
you feel sort of alone in the world.  And when you fell asleep while you
were floating and woke up, the sea felt big.  And everything came down on
you at once.  It’s okay. I get it.  But you’re never alone.  I
want you to know that.  You will always have me. You always have and you
always will.”

My
heart swells until it might burst. 

It
feels so incredibly, amazingly good to have this beautiful boy tell me that. 
To know that he has always been my friend, that he knows me inside and
out.  And then I do something unexpected.

I
lean up and kiss Gavin. 

On
the mouth. 

Sweet
Angel of Mercy.

His
lips are soft and warm from the sun.  I can taste the sea on them and I
weave my hands into his hair, pulling him closer.  He tightens his grip on
me and kisses me back; hard, hard, harder.  He tastes like fruit and
smells like sunshine. 

It’s
really nice. 

Wonderful.

Amazing. 

My
heart is doing flip-flops when I finally pull away. 

Gavin
stares down at me in shock.

“I’ve
always wondered what that would be like,” he admits.  “Kissing a
firecracker, I mean.”  I smile. 

“And?”

“It’s
really too difficult to say from just one kiss,” he says, his dark eyes twinkling. 
“We should try it again so that I have more to go on.”

He
cups my face in his hands and dips his head, his lips meeting mine. 

He
tastes of butterscotch and man.

Twenty-five
beats of my heart later, he pulls away. 

“And?”
I breathe. 

“You’ll
do,” he grins. 

I
swat at him and he pulls me into his arms, folding me against his chest. 
It is warm here, where his skin is bathed by the sun.  I feel so safe,
like he would protect me from anything.  But even better, it’s like he
knows exactly what to protect me from. 

“The
old you would never have done that,” he tells me quietly a few minutes
later.  I sigh.

“Gavin,
you’ll never know how tired I am of hearing that,” I tell him.  I feel him
smile against my shoulder. 

“I’m
just saying it because it is true.  As much as I enjoyed that kiss, I’m
thinking that maybe we should hold off on doing it again until you remember a
little bit more.  Just to be on the safe side.  I don’t want you
slicing off any of my important body parts later because you’re mad at me for
taking advantage of the situation.”

I
snuggle closer.  “Maybe I’m the one who is taking advantage of you,” I
suggest. 

“Oh? 
How so?” Gavin asks.  He shifts my weight so that I am lying more
comfortably in his lap.  I feel evidence of his ‘important body part’
jabbing into me, but I pretend not to notice. 

“Maybe
I’m using you to jog my memory,” I answer.  I don’t open my eyes.  It
feels too good to keep them closed in the sun. 

He
laughs.  “Well, in that case, feel free to use me in any way that you
want.  And if you require any of my important body parts for that, say the
word.  Just remember, I’m always ready.”

I
smile. 

But
then, for a second, one second, Quinn’s lop-sided grin pops into my head and my
heart pounds.  Why am I in Gavin’s lap and kissing Gavin’s lips when Quinn
has the ability to give me heart palpations?

The
answer is pretty clear though. 

Because
I like Gavin’s lips. 

And
he has the ability to make my heart pound, too.

In
a world that is confusing and scary, Gavin is one of the only things that is
real and true.  He’s steady, like a rock, and I so need that right now.

But
is that really a good enough reason to be lying in his lap right now? 
Maybe he was right and we should wait.  I sit up.

“Don’t
do that,” Gavin mumbles.  “I was just ready to fall asleep again.”

I
roll my eyes. 

“Maybe
you’re right,” I tell him. This pops his eyes wide open. 

“What? 
Say that again.  Because you never, ever say that I’m right.”

I
roll my eyes again. 

“You
might be right about this.  I don’t even know who I am.  So how in
the world could I know what I want?  I don’t want to screw you over while
I’m trying to figure it out.  And I definitely, definitely don’t want to
ruin our friendship.  It’s the best thing in my life right now.”

He
arches a dark eyebrow. 

“Mi,
I’ve
always
been the best thing in your life.”

He
laughs and I laugh with him. 

“Seriously,
though.  You’re not going to ruin our friendship.  You’re not going
to screw me over, although I think it’s cute that you’re worried about
it.  How about this—we’ll just play it by ear.  We’ll do our thing
like we always do.  And if things develop like they did this afternoon,
we’ll pursue them.  Don’t stress about it.  You’re not supposed to be
stressing.  Just relax.”

I
twist around and stare at him.

“Just
relax and go with the flow?”

He
nods.  “Exactly.”

I
nestle into his chest once again and he tightens his arms around me.  The
sun beats down on our shoulders, drying my hair and warming my chilled
bones.  It feels really, really good here with Gavin. 

But
just as I’m ready to fall asleep in the sun, I see Quinn’s face again.  I
remember what it felt like when he pressed against me as I was riding
Titan.  And I hear his charming drawl in my head. My heart quickens in
response, like it always does. 

I
have no idea what I’m doing. 

That
much is clear. 

But
as Gavin and I nap in the bottom of
The Shining
, curled up in the sun
and miles away from our nearest problem, it is easy to put it out of my
mind.  I’m going to try and do what Gavin suggested. 

I’m
going to go with the flow.

I
only hope I’m flowing in the right direction.

Chapter
Thirteen

I
text Dante from the pier and let him know that Gavin will be dropping me off in
town.  But then Gavin decides to join us.  So I spend the remainder
of the drive wondering how weird it will be to have Quinn and Gavin in one
place.

But
it turns out to not be weird at all.

They
joke back and forth like old friends and I realize that somewhere along the line,
they’ve become friends since Quinn arrived in Caberra.  Gavin treats me
like he normally would and no one seems to notice that anything is amiss. 
No one would ever know that I kissed him on his boat and then took a nap in his
arms. 

No
one except for Reece. 

At
one point, when Gavin hands me a fresh trash sack, his fingers linger over mine
just a little too long. I glance up and smile at him at the same exact time
that Reece looks my way.  I catch her surprised expression and then her knowing
grin.  But she doesn’t say anything.

Yet.

I
have a feeling that it will come later.

For
now, I enjoy watching my friends.  They joke and laugh and
rough-house.  We’re like a little club, tightly-knit and close.  I
like it.  And even though I don’t remember, they don’t treat me like I’m
different.  I like that, too. 

I
look around the little park that we are cleaning and can see vast improvement
over what it looked like a scant two hours ago when we arrived.  The
broken wood and trash has all been picked up and bagged and it once again looks
like a place where children would play.  It’s a good feeling to know that
we did this.

We
all stand and stare at it for a minute and our five shadows stretch onto the
playground, side by side.  Quinn’s shadow is the tallest and mine is the
smallest.  The fact that he is standing next to me at the moment
accentuates that fact.

“You
really are a tiny tot,” he says, only to me.  His voice is low and quiet
and instant warmth floods my nether regions.  OhGoodLord.  I’m a
wanton, wanton girl. Because two hours ago, I was lying in Gavin’s lap. 

I
gulp.

“I
can’t help my height,” I tell him indignantly. 

“Nope,”
he drawls.  “No, you can’t.  I was just wondering, though, how do you
fit that much temper into one tiny body, anyway?”

I
glare at him.  “I don’t have a temper.”

Everyone
cracks up at this, but I don’t see the humor. 

“I
don’t,” I insist.  But no one listens as they gather up all of our
things.  My look of indignation is lost because no one is looking.  I
sigh. 

“We
should go grab some dinner someplace,” Dante suggests.  “By the time we
get anywhere, it will be dinner time.  Anyone up for it?”

“I
am,” Reece says, leaning up to kiss Dante’s cheek. He has a dirt smudge there
and she wipes it off before she turns to me.  “Mia?”

I
nod.  “Sure.  Just let me text my mom and let her know.”

Everyone
stares.

“What?”
I ask as I pull out my phone.  “It would be rude not to let her know.”

They
stare more.

“I
must have been a horrible monster,” I mutter as I punch the text into my phone
and then put it away. 

“Not
a monster,” Reece tells me.  “Just….different.”

“Hmmph,”
I grunt as I swing into Gavin’s Land Rover.  “Where are we going to meet?”
I ask. 

Dante
rattles off a restaurant in town and Gavin nods.  And then Quinn appears
in my open door, filling it up with his large frame. 

“Do
you mind if I catch a ride with you guys?” he asks.  I stare at him in
surprise.  I had just assumed that he would ride with Dante.  He
grins in their direction.

“They
seem like they’d like a little alone time,” he says wryly.  Reece is
holding Dante’s hand, laughing up at him and my heart constricts a little
bit.  I have to admit…I’m a little jealous.  They’re so
together.
 
They fit just right.  I wonder if I was ever jealous of them before? 

But
I’m saved from thinking about it because I have to move to let Quinn in. 
I climb in the backseat. 

“You’re
way too big to fit back here,” I tell him.  And it’s true.  He could
fit, but he wouldn’t be comfortable.

“Thanks,
tiny tot,” he tells me as he settles into the front.  “But we’ve already
had the conversation about how big I am.  You just don’t remember
it.”  He grins impishly and his eyes meet mine in the mirror of his
visor.  I have the sudden feeling it wasn’t the size of his body that we
had talked about. My heart flutters. 

“Everyone
set?” Gavin asks.  And
his
eyes meet mine in the rearview
mirror.  His are warm and twinkly because he knows a secret.  He
knows how we spent the afternoon.

OhGoodLord. 
How do I get myself into these situations?

I
have two gorgeous guys staring at me covertly from the front seat, both with
hidden meanings and expressions in their eyes.   

So
I do what any normal girl would do.

I
stare at my hands. 

The
entire way to the restaurant. 

It
seems to take forever, but we’re actually there in twenty minutes.  Trust
me, though, twenty minutes is a long time to stare at your hands.  By the
time we get there, I am painfully aware that I need a manicure.

We
pile out and I walk between Quinn and Gavin as we meet Dante and Reece at the
door. 

Because
Dante is the Prime Minister’s son, we don’t have to wait for a table.  We
are immediately shown to the best table in the house, actually.  It’s
situated in front of huge windows overlooking the sea.  It’s a beautiful
view.

Or
it would be if it didn’t offer such a clear view of the city, showcasing the
damage from the earthquake.  Staring at it is unsettling. Surrounded by
the serenity of Giliberti House, it is easy to be removed from the devastation
that the quake caused.  Not so here.  It is readily apparent.