Mia's Heart (The Paradise Diaries) (15 page)

There
is rubble everywhere, although streets have been cleared.  Trees are down
and some power lines too, which means that some people are still without
power.  It’s the worst earthquake this country has seen in years and
years.

“Wow,”
Reece breathes as she takes it in.  “We don’t have earthquakes where I’m
from.  Kansas has tornadoes, but not hurricanes or earthquakes.  I
didn’t know what to expect when we arrived here.  But it’s even worse than
I thought it would be.”

Dante
nods solemnly.  “We’re just happy that power has been restored to almost
everyone.  It’s amazing how we take things like water or power for granted
and we can be reminded so quickly of how lucky we are.”

He’s
right and everyone at the table is quiet for a minute, probably reflecting on
that very thing.  No one at the table, other than me, was really affected
by the quake.  Their homes are intact, they didn’t even lose power and
certainly no one else lost their memories.  But I’m really happy about
that.  I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. 

We
order and then chat while we wait for our food.  I find that I am
famished.  And I am slightly fidgety.  I’m seated between Gavin and
Reece and across from Quinn.  Every once in a while, Quinn catches my
eye.  His gaze is sparkling and mischievous at all times.  It’s like
he is just waiting for something to amuse him. 

Every
time he stares at me, my cheeks catch on fire. 

And
Reece notices this, too.  She stares at me once, in confusion and then in
realization.  Not long after, she excuses herself to go to the bathroom.

And
then pauses. 

“Mia,
do you need to go?” From the way she is staring at me, I decide that I’d better
go whether I need to or not.  I hurry after her and when we reach the
bathroom, she turns to me.

“What
are you doing?” she demands. “I can see the tension between you and
Quinn.  And I saw you flirting with Gavin.  Seriously flirting, not
his usual BS flirting.  I’m not trying to interfere, but Mia, you’re
supposed to be relaxing so that your memory can come back.  I don’t think
that adding complications to your life is exactly what your doctor meant.”

Reece
means business.  Her cheeks are flushed and I think she’s ready to stamp
her foot or something. 

“Calm
down,” I tell her.  “It’s not what you think.  Or maybe it is. 
I don’t know.  I’m so confused.  All I know is that they’re both sexy
as hell. And I like them both for different reasons.”

“You
never used to like Gavin in that way,” she tells me.  “Seriously, you
didn’t.  I always wondered why, because he’s cute and funny, but you never
did.  You said it was because you’ve seen him in diapers.”

I
stare at her.

“Well,
see, that’s the thing.  I don’t remember seeing him in diapers now, so
that’s no longer a problem.  To me, he’s a brand new guy who is sexy as
hell and twice as funny.  I don’t remember anything.  All I know is
that he makes me feel safe.  And trust me, right now I really need that.”

Reece
nods.  “I can see where that would be important to you right now. 
But what about Quinn?”

I
smile at the mere thought of Quinn.

“He’s
sexy as hell, too,” I tell her.  “What girl wouldn’t be interested in
him?”

Reece
smiles now, knowingly. 

“That’s
true,” she admits.  “Everyone loves Quinn. Back home, he can’t go anywhere
without getting a girl’s phone number shoved into his pocket.”

“Hometown
football hero?” I guess.  There’s just something about him that screams
that. 

Reece
nods. “Pretty much.  And back home, Friday night football games are huge.
The whole town turns out.  Everyone loves Quinn.  And the likeable
thing about him is that he isn’t very conceited about it.  He’s just a
normal guy who happens to be gorgeous.  He’s always been that way. 
It’s probably why I used to be totally in love with him.”

She
grins now.  And I have to smile, too.  Oh, to be her.  Going
from being in love with Quinn to Dante.  Rough life.  I mention as
much to her and she grins again.  Every time she smiles, her eyes
sparkle.  I like it.  She’s ornery-sweet, not ornery-bad ass like I’m
told that I am.  Maybe it’s why we get along.  We’re opposites.

“Dante
is the one for me,” she shrugs.  “For the longest time, I thought it was
Quinn.  But one look at Dante pretty much changed that.  You were
here when it happened.  You just don’t remember it.”

I
sigh.  

“What
are you going to do?” she asks me now.  She glances in the mirror and
messes with her blonde hair, pushing one tendril behind her ear.  “I’ve
never seen Gavin actually serious about someone.  I’ve seen him with a lot
of girls, but they were never girls he would like to keep.  You’re
different.  You have to know that.”

I
sigh again.  Because I think I do know that.  I know it from the
tender tone he had in his voice on his boat.  I know it from the soft
expression he has in his eyes when he looks at me.  I know it from his
smile.  And I know that I never, ever want to hurt him. 

“I
don’t know what to do,” I admit.  “I really don’t.”

Reece
turns to me. 

“I
think you should just wait it out,” she tells me wisely.  “Go on with life
and deal with things as they come.  Maybe you should just hang out with
both of them and see what happens.  I think that’s what I would do.”

My
shoulders slump.  I can’t help it.  I’m not good at waiting. 
Hence my hatred for the words
soon
and
eventually.
  Reece
wraps an arm around them, bolstering me up.

“It’s
going to be fine,” she announces.  “Seriously.  You’re an amazing,
funny, sweet person.  Everything will work out for you.”

I
raise an eyebrow. 

“Sweet? 
You’re the first person who has described me in that way.”

She
giggles.  “You
are
sweet. It’s deep down because you try to hide
it.  But you are a sweet person, Mia.  And those of us who know you, know
that.”

“Then
you’re the only ones who matter,” I tell her stoically.  “The ones who
know me, I mean.”

“Exactly,”
she nods.  “We’re the only ones who matter.  Family doesn’t have to
mean blood, Mi.  We’re your family.   And even though your
parents give you a hard time, they love you, too.  They just don’t
understand you.”

I
nod.  And there is a hard lump that has swelled in my throat and I don’t
even know why.  Reece hugs me again. 

“Wanna
go back out?”

I
nod, not trusting my voice. 

And
when we walk out to the table, I am surprised to find Elena draped over Quinn’s
arm.  Her voice is stickily sweet and her boobs are pressed against
him. 

Instant
rage rushes through me, hot and red, but I tamper it down.

Quinn
doesn’t belong to me. 

He’s
not mine.

But
my heart doesn’t seem to realize that.

Elena
glances up and sees me, then sees Reece.  Her expression changes
drastically as she locks eyes with Reece.  She turns into an ice-bitch
directly in front of my eyes.

“Hey,
farm girl,” Elena says coolly.  “I didn’t know you were back in town.”

I
start to interrupt, but Reece speaks first.  “And I didn’t expect to find
you draped across my table.”

Elena
smiles, her gaze tunneled on Reece. “I’m not.  I’m draped across your ex-boyfriend. 
Jealous?”

She
glances my way now and I feel frozen in place.  This isn’t the girl who I
spoke with in the hospital. But if I’m honest, I knew that she had this
potential for bitchiness.  I could sense it.  And now she seems
poised to strike, like a snake. 

Dante
breaks in, though, his voice calm yet cool.

“Leni,”
he says warningly.  I glance at him and he is staring at her, waiting.
Expectant.  He knows her.  He has known her for a long time, so he is
patient.  Elena looks from him, to Reece, to me. 

And
then she smiles. 

“Hi,
Mia,” she says, her voice sweet now.  “It’s good to see you.  Would
you like to come sit at our table?”  She motions to her table, which is
crowded with a bunch of other girls our age.  They are snickering as they
watch this exchange.  And I realize that there is no place I’d rather be
less.

I
shake my head.  “No, thanks.  I’m fine here.”

Elena
narrows her green eyes. “Are you sure about that? It might be better for you
over there.”

My
temper snaps to life.

“How
so?” I answer, my own green eyes narrowing.  Elena smiles wolfishly. 

“You’re
the one who said you wanted to be friends,” she reminded me.  “I told my
girls that and they didn’t believe me.  If you don’t sit with us, they’ll
think I was lying.”

I
can feel the incredulous gazes of everyone at the table. All of them are
trained on my face, all of them are waiting for me to speak.

I
swallow.

“Elena,
I’m happy to try and be your friend.  But I won’t be manipulated or used
as a pawn.  Ever.  So, right now, I’m going to stay here and eat my
dinner.”

I
stare into her eyes and she stares into mine.

And
then she smiles, relenting.

“Okay,”
she says casually.  As though it is no big deal at all, as if she is used
to people turning her down.  “If you change your mind, though, we’re over
there.”

She
slides her slender hand along Quinn’s shoulders as she leaves and I want to
break it.  She smiles down at him.

“Call
me,” she tells him.

I
see a piece of paper in his hand and I have to assume it is her number. 

My
blood boils and I think my vision blurs for a second.

“See
you later, D!” she calls to Dante over her shoulder. 

Elena
is barely gone for a second before Reece marches over to Quinn and yanks the
paper from his hand.  She tosses it into the burning candle in the center
of the table.  We all watch it burn. 

“Not
in this lifetime, Quinn,” Reece says.  “She’s an utter bitch.  You
don’t need that.”

Quinn
grins, lazy and slow.  “Thanks for looking out for me, Reecie,” he
says.  He looks amused.  But his words stir something in me. 
And I freeze.

“Reecie
Piecie,” I murmur.  I am stunned because it triggers something in my
brain.  Something familiar.

Reece
stares at me.  “Yes,” she says excitedly.  “Everyone calls me
that.  Do you remember?”

And
for a second, I do.  I see flashes of Reece and me. We’re on the water,
snorkeling, I think.  She’s screaming, then laughing.  The sun is
shining on the water and Dante is there.  We’re floating and it is
peaceful and quiet and I can see why I loved the water.  In my head, Reece
grabs my hand and the three of us are floating in a circle. 

And
then the memory stops.  I can’t remember anything else. 

But
I have this piece now, this fragment of my past.

And
that’s something. 

I
nod. 

“I
remembered something,” I tell them.  I sit down and share it.  Dante
grins. 

“I
remember that day,” he announces. “You were teaching Reece to snorkel. 
And I pretended to be a shark and scared the crap out of her.”

Reece
smacks at him now. “I’m still not over that!” she sniffs.  “You were a
jerk.”

“But
you love me anyway,” Dante tells her, rubbing at his arm.  She smiles up
at him. 

“That’s
because you’re not normally a jerk,” she clarifies.  Dante is still
rubbing his arm. 

Gavin
looks at me.  “Was that all you remembered?”

And
I think he’s really asking,
Do you remember anything about me?

I
nod.  “That’s all.  But I think it’s good.  A memory came
back.  So that means that they aren’t all gone forever.  Maybe the
rest will come back too.”

And
while everyone else seems encouraged, Gavin seems a little pensive. And I think
I know why.  He’s afraid that if I remember how I felt about him before,
I’m not going to feel the same about him as I do right now.

And
that’s a very valid concern.

I’m
worried about the same thing, even while Quinn is staring at me from across the
table with such a stormy dark expression.  The sexual tension between him
and I practically crackles and I want to leap over the table into his
arms. 

And
then Gavin casually lays his arm over the back of my chair and his thumb rubs
circles lightly on my shoulder.  I glance into his eyes and I find such
kindness there, such pure friendship amidst the sparkling dark depths and I
gulp. 

I
don’t know what, or who, I want.

I
am a mess of utter, swirling confusion. 

At
this point, I honestly don’t know if I want my old memories back or if I wish
they’d stay gone forever.