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Lance had plans to take them to three more places. An average man, brown hair, moderate build, a light five o’clock shadow, about five foot eight, it was his bubbling personality that made him and his endless tour tolerable. Each condo was the same as the others in Jeremy’s opinion, but Lance treated each one as if it were a castle in its own right.

They were beautiful. Jeremy couldn’t deny that. And he would probably enjoy living in each place, but whenever they left one place to go to another, he felt like cattle being prodded towards a pen. Midtown was too crowded, too fast, and too busy.

Nothing like the comfortable pace of the East Village. Signs for upscale stores lined the street. Nothing resembling a thrift shop could be found, but three Starbucks were in his immediate line of vision.

The next place they viewed was on Fifty-Ninth Street, right across from Central Park. The unit itself was high up with a perfect view of the park and the northern part of Manhattan, clear across the island to the George Washington Bridge. Despite his reservation about moving, Jeremy had to admit it was a beautiful view.

Lance began the tour of the unit. “The living room and kitchen are connected. Track lighting has already been installed with a dimmer feature. The counter tops are imported granite from Egypt, a beautiful sandy color. We have wasted no expense in fitting the kitchen with state-of-the art utilities. The sink has a filtering unit built into the nozzle. The refrigerator can do just about everything but pour your drinks for you. We have outfitted the stovetop with a ventilation system that self-cleans. Plus, we’ve installed a double oven. The living room is open with ample room for entertaining.”

He ushered them down the hallway. The first room they came to was large and square, also overlooking Central Park. “This is the spare room. If you used it for guests, I guarantee they won’t want to leave.” Is that an advertisement or a warning? Jeremy followed Andrew to the window to admire the view. Lance opened the closet and beamed. “By city standards, this closet should be a bedroom.” Jeremy and Andrew’s entire wardrobe would easily fit in that one closet and have enough room left over for a small side table and a chair. Hell, he could have tea and biscuits in it. I don’t even have enough clothes to fit half this space. Who needs a closet this big?

“Here is the bathroom for your guests.” It was located next to the spare room. Lance bounced as he led them down the hallway and opened the door. “Everything I’ve shown you is fantastic, but I’ve saved the best for last. This is the master suite.” As they entered the room, Jeremy was blown away by the sheer size. Both bedrooms in their 32

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current apartment would fit into this one room. Upon closer inspection, Jeremy thought perhaps their entire apartment would fit in this one room.

“Come into the master bath,” Lance urged. “It’s not to be missed.”

Jeremy followed him into the bathroom. When Lance turned on the light, he winced at the brightness. Andrew’s eyes bugged out in amazement. An expansive double sink unit with mirrors running to the ceiling lined one wall. A deep, whirlpool bathtub nestled in the corner and a shower stall which could fit four people stood next to it and contained three shower heads all angled towards the center. The ceiling had numerous lights. Playing with the switches, Jeremy adjusted the brightness, relieving his eyes.

As he played with a few of the other switches, warmth hit the back of his neck and head.

Lance smiled. “You’ve found the heating lamps. Come, look at the toilet which even has a self-heating seat.”

Andrew’s eyes lit up even more than they had a moment before. Jeremy was sure they were going to pop out of his head at any moment. He and Lance were chattering with one another like they were discussing their favorite soaps. Once again, a twinge of aggravation tugged at the corners of Jeremy’s mind. This day was supposed to be about Andrew and him, but he wasn’t involved at all. Instead, he was watching Andrew make decisions for their life as if he were a spectator whose opinion didn’t count and wasn’t desired.

Jeremy left the two of them in the bathroom. Why did I agree to this? The closer he inspected the place, the more he didn’t want to move. Lance and Andrew were getting excited over fucking toilet seats. Andrew had promised this search would be something the two of them would do together.

Jeremy headed back to the living room and stood by the window, leaving the two of them to worship the plumbing. The view was peaceful. The changing seasons were one of the things Jeremy remembered most about growing up in the northeast and the thing he missed most when he moved to Arizona. With the image of his childhood best friend in his mind, the green of the trees in the park seemed a bit greener; the haze blurring the bridge in the distance a bit thinner. How many years have passed since we’ve touched base? At least eight years; since I moved to New York and met Andrew.

No, it wasn’t what I missed most. “You would never make me move if I really didn’t want to,” he whispered out loud. “You’d understand how important it is to me to be able to take care of myself. You’d love the East Village as much as I do.” Jeremy snapped his head around to make sure he was still alone.

The image of Craig formed in his mind as if his best and oldest friend was standing in the room. Craig’s dirty blond hair, ruffled from all of his clumsy tripping and falling.

The thought brought a smile to Jeremy’s lips. Lips. Craig’s lips were full, plump, and kissable. He had a dreamy figure as well; broad shoulders canting into a narrow waist, a hint of bubble in his butt. How often did I stare at his lips only to be faced with his delectable ass when he’d turn around to get something?

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Jeremy shook his head, distracted by the tugging in his pants. His cock had begun to lengthen, pressing against the fabric of his jeans. For the second time in as many minutes, Jeremy glanced around to make sure he was alone, and then dug his hand into his pants to adjust himself.

Andrew and Lance’s voices carried from the other room, bringing Jeremy back to the reason he was in the condo in the first place. Regret filled him as Craig’s image faded from his mind. This was not what Andrew had promised. Jeremy had agreed to view places with him, but said he wanted the experience to be for the two of them. If they were going to move, he wanted both of them to fall in love with the place. The more they viewed new places, the more certain he became that he didn’t want to move.

If he could afford to, he’d put his foot down and simply remain on his own if he had to.

Thinking about money set his stomach churning. This condo would probably cost over five thousand dollars a month. The apartment they lived in was only twelve-hundred dollars a month and he had to stretch his earnings to afford half of the rent, pay for utilities, and have a little left over for himself and Andrew. He’d have to depend on Andrew financially if they moved into a place like this. Andrew didn’t seem to understand how much he wanted to contribute equally. They had argued over this so many times even the dumbest monkey would have figured out Jeremy wanted to feel self-reliant.

As soon as the thought entered his mind, Jeremy realized it was only half of the problem. He would never make as much money as Andrew and, if he were honest with himself, he wouldn’t care about the difference if it weren’t for the fact Andrew seemed unable to hear him. Andrew wasn’t listening when he spoke. Sure, he heard the words, but the message was lost on him. What he wanted was for Andrew to understand that he needed respect, not security. That was the real issue. Andrew seemed to think that taking care of him equaled love.

Considering that thought, Jeremy backed off a bit. He wasn’t giving Andrew enough credit. Andrew wasn’t one-dimensional, but he did seem to think too simplistically. He either couldn’t or didn’t want to hear what Jeremy was really saying.

If it felt like Andrew wanted a change for the both of them and not just for himself, Jeremy would probably be open to the idea

But I wouldn’t. That’s the problem. The thought send a shiver up his spine. The truth of it caused him to grip the window sill for stability. He didn’t want to move and nothing Andrew said would change that. If he truly loved Andrew, deep down, rest of his life, loved him, he wouldn’t question this move. He’d be content to do anything that would keep the two of them together and happy.

Once again, Craig’s image filled his mind and with it, a sensation of warmth and love. If he were with Craig he would quit his job and live in a shack. He had always known what Jeremy wanted. The difference was Jeremy never had to put his own desires aside to give Craig what he wanted. They loved each other enough to compromise and to keep each other’s needs in the forefront. Funny I never knew that as a 34

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kid, but now it’s obvious. Treating me like a partner, his equal, came easily to Craig, as if he didn’t have to give it a second thought.

Andrew and Lance returned to the living room, interrupting Jeremy’s reflections.

Andrew walked over to Jeremy and stood next to him by the window. “I wondered where you got off to. I didn’t notice you leave the bathroom.” He hugged Jeremy from behind and Jeremy leaned back against Andrew’s chest, hoping to hide the discomfort growing inside him. Andrew whispered in his ear, pulling him in tighter. “The view is beautiful, huh? This is the best feature of the whole place. Can’t you picture a small table right here by the window so we can wake up every day, drink our coffee, and just stare at Central Park?”

Jeremy allowed the image to fill his mind. It would be nice to have this view and to share it with Andrew, but it wouldn’t change the fact Andrew didn’t understand him.

He snuggled closer into Andrew’s embrace, hoping to push his thoughts out of his mind and to keep Andrew from sensing his disappointment. “Yes, that would be amazing.”

Jeremy pushed the thought out of his mind. After all, he’d never see Craig again and Andrew was his partner in life. He turned and clasped his arms around Andrew’s neck. He let go of the lingering frustration he had been harboring and ignored the flash of guilt he experienced under Andrew’s adoring gaze. “This place is awesome. And yes, the view is beautiful. I was just thinking that when you came over. You must have been reading my mind.” He brushed his lips against Andrew’s in a chaste but sweet kiss.

Inside, a part of him shut down. A piece of him broke and he needed to shield himself from the crushing weight of having given in. Where there had been fight, now resided nothing. The emptiness threatened to suffocate him.

Lance cleared his throat. “I’ll be outside. Why don’t the two of you spend a few minutes alone and decide whether the place talks to you?”

Andrew waved Lance off without taking his eyes off of Jeremy. “Thanks.”

Jeremy heard the door click shut and then Andrew’s lips closed over his. The erotic dance of their tongues and the moist heat of his mouth caused Jeremy’s knees to wobble and he poured fierce passion into their kiss. Despite his actions, Craig remained in his mind. The image of a different life, one where he grew closer to his partner, not further apart, filled his thoughts. The guilt overwhelmed him, yet Andrew couldn’t seem to sense his conflict, which only fed his distance from Andrew.

Andrew reached down, grabbing Jeremy’s ass and pulled the two of them together.

His hard cock pressed against the upper part of Jeremy’s hip and Jeremy’s cock leapt to attention in response, blood flowing south and filling out his shaft. The physical acts helped him to push his thoughts aside. Losing himself in the sensations of Andrew’s attentions, Jeremy focused on Andrew, yanking his mind away from thoughts of Craig and a different life.

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The cool wetness of precum wiped against Jeremy’s inner thigh and he smiled up at Andrew. “Baby, if you want to check out other units today, you better ease up on what you’re doing because I’m about to come any minute now.”

Andrew pulled his head back, a sensual gleam in his eyes. “Really? You little vixen!

I’m not even touching you there.”

Jeremy laughed, letting himself get caught up in the moment. “You don’t need to touch me there when you kiss me like that.” He leaned in and took Andrew’s mouth once again, kissing him fervently, allowing his affection and love to be expressed through wet, silky caresses. Yet, with each lick of his tongue against Andrew’s, the memory of another kiss, one far sweeter, lingered in the back of his mind, refusing to leave.

* * * * *

In spite of the kiss they’d shared, Andrew couldn’t shake the nagging feeling something was very wrong. Jeremy had been quiet after they left the condo with the view of Central Park and remained so during Lance’s showings of the two remaining units. Maybe he’s tired. He’d so wanted Jeremy to be as excited about house-hunting for their dream apartment yet a world of thoughts and feelings seemed to be going on in Jeremy, things that Andrew couldn’t do anything about. Why did it have to be so hard?

After the second unit, Andrew told Lance he would be in touch to let him know whether they were interested in putting down a bid on any of the units. Lance gave the required warning the two of them shouldn’t take too much time since the units would be gone before they knew it. Andrew shook his hand, thanked him, and then he and Jeremy were alone.