Midnight Bride (45 page)

"So kind of you.
I cannot tell you how much I have been worrying about . . ." The conversations became so common that Elizabeth knew almost to the word what Cecile's grandmother would say and would have to bite her lip to keep from answering the next question.

Outwardly Elizabeth's and Dunstan's lives settled into peaceful patterns as January continued. On the surface everything appeared to be perfect.

His duties relatively light in the winter cold, Dunstan spent much of his time watching his wife make decisions—the color of curtains, the design for the china, the color of paint for the trim in the smallest guest bedroom. The only room that did not receive her attention was the nursery. Each month she waited anxiously. Each month they were disappointed.

One afternoon after a game of chess with his grandfather, Dunstan tried to find Elizabeth, tracking her from the storerooms in the basement to the library and finally to the morning room. Surrounded by long lists of improvements, Elizabeth sat at the desk she had rescued from the attic, frowning at a piece of paper. "So this is your bolt hole today," Dunstan said with a laugh.

"Hmmm."
She looked up and gave him a rather absent smile. Then she reread the letter one more time.

" 'Hmmm'
is all you have to say to your husband who has been absent from your side since breakfast?" he asked. He had not received his customary smile. To his dismay Dunstan was beginning to discover that Elizabeth's smile or absence of it could change his appreciation of the day.

"Robert, did Charles mention anything about the army to you at Christmas?" Elizabeth asked. Her eyes were gray with worry.

"All he talked about was
Cecile
or his new horses. What has he done now?"

"According to one of Mama's gossipy friends, he has bought a commission in the Horse Guards. Mama is beside herself with worry. Since my cousin was killed, Charles going off to fight is one of her worst fears. She did not give him the
money, that
is for certain. And his money is doled out monthly." She put up a hand to rub the back of her neck.

Robert
moved behind her, moving her hand so that his could massage her tension away. "You said yourself that he needed something to do. Maybe the army will be good for him. I tried hard enough to get Grandfather to agree when I was younger. I saw myself leading men into battle, rescuing people on the battlefield. I am certain he is the same. The reality never made an impression on me,
When
he meets soldiers who have been in battle, he may change his mind." He kissed the base of her neck, but she did not respond to the caress.

"He met my friends in Brighton. Their stories did nothing to discourage him."

"Elizabeth, he is a man. He has the right to make decisions about his own life."

She turned around and glared at him. "But what if he is hurt?"

"You did encourage him, Elizabeth. Now it is too late to tell him that you have changed your mind." He stepped back and pulled her to her feet facing him. "I wonder if he told
Cecile
what his plans
were?
"

"Mama did say it was a rumor. Maybe it isn't true." She put her head on his shoulder and her arms around his neck. "Robert, I have just discovered the most lowering thing about myself," she said quietly.

"What?" He bent and kissed the cheek that he could reach, the kiss so soft that she would not have known about it had she not been looking.

"I am a coward." He pulled back to look at her. "Oh, I do not mean about meeting strangers. I knew that."

"Then what do you mean?"

"With people I care about. I want to know where they are and what they are doing and that they are safe."

"But even knowing where people are does not mean they are out of harm's way. Elizabeth, we have no guarantees," he said, quietly increasing his hold on her.

Her grip about his neck tightened convulsively. He simply held her for a moment, wondering at her, surprised by the fear that seemed so close to the surface. Then she stepped back. "You will think me a
rattlepate
, going on that way," she said with a laugh that covered the emotions still too near the surface. "Were you looking for me?"

"Yes, I received a letter from Seward today."

"Robert! Is he sending you into danger again? He promised." She drew away from him, wondering where he would go this time, what danger he would be in. Perhaps it would have been easier with only the worries about other women.

Dunstan smiled slightly, pleased that she was not ready to see him out of her life for even a short time. "I never said he had promised anything, Elizabeth. He rarely does."

"Then what did he want?"

"Seward suggested that we return to London."

"Immediately?"

"No, only as though we were leaving early for the Season. He is not certain, but he feels something important is about to happen. He suggests we begin to make our preparations."

"This early?
There will be no one in town."

"Lord
Ramsburg
said he and your stepmother would be returning almost as soon as all their guests left. It will give you a chance to visit with her."

"And listen to her complain about Charles." She made a face. Then she said thoughtfully, "She will worry less if I am there. Oh, I do hope the news about Charles proves false."

"If it is not, she will need your support even more. Will leaving early cause you too many problems?"

"Not if I start planning immediately." She crossed to the
bellpull
. "Send Mrs. Finch to me as soon as possible," she told the footman who answered. "We will need to make some decisions about what we need to take with us. And finish our measurements for all the windows and doors here. With the figures I will be able to visit the fabric warehouses in London and make my selections." She crossed to the desk and made a brief note.

"I can tell that my presence is redundant." He walked over to her and kissed her cheek. "Send someone to call me when you are ready for tea."

"Hmmm."
Elizabeth closed her eyes for a moment when he was gone, wondering how she had been able to refuse him that morning so many months ago. If she lost him now, it would destroy her.

When
Cecile
Westin walked in on the earl's arm a short time later, Elizabeth winced as she noticed the bright rosy cheeks, clear complexion, and sparkling blue eyes of her husband's friend.
"Cecile
wanted to ask you some questions about the Season, Elizabeth. So I invited her to tea," the earl said as he seated the young girl. "Shall I have someone bring it now?"

"May we talk first?"
Cecile
asked, flashing her dimples. "I have more serious matters on my mind."

The earl smiled indulgently. "Then I will leave you ladies for a time."

No sooner was he out of the room than
Cecile
flew out of her chair. "Elizabeth, you simply must do something."

"About what?"
After the news of the day, the very last thing Elizabeth wished to deal with was another crisis of Cecile's.

"My clothes."
She broke off as Elizabeth began to giggle. "You would not be laughing if my grandmother dressed you, Lady Dunstan."
Cecile
said indignantly, forgetting that the blue velvet walking dress trimmed in fur that she had been in
ault
over just a week earlier had been her grandmother's choice. "She wants to have Mrs. Thompson in the village make most of my clothes. That way we will not have to go to town so early."

"Mrs. Thompson's clothes are always in the height of fashion. I daresay there are establishments in London that would rejoice to have her work for them."

"But what if someone asks for the name of my
modiste
? What shall I say? Mrs. Thompson in the village sews for me?
How humiliating!"

Elizabeth kept her face serious with an effort. "Perhaps you could pretend you did not hear?" she suggested.

"A proper hoyden I would look then. Some of
Grandmama's
friends do not accept less than an answer. I can see them sitting around me, each one trying to get me to divulge the name. And the worst of it is that
Grandmama
will tell them."

"I see. Perhaps you can say she is very exclusive, has decided to live retired, and now has agreed to work only for you."

Cecile
ran over to her and embraced her heartily. "You truly are the best person, Elizabeth. At first when Charles said so, I could not see it, but you are.
My own personal
modiste
.
Perhaps I will start my own fashion. Now all I have to do is convince
Grandmama
."

"Convince her of what?" Elizabeth asked warily.

Just then the door opened. Dunstan walked in.
Cecile
rushed to his side and threw her arms around his neck. Elizabeth closed her eyes for a
moment,
the sight too painful to accept. She had taken his word that his absences related to his job, but what if he had been
lying
? What if there was another woman? Elizabeth knew
Cecile
was not the one, but there could be someone else. "Dunstan, Elizabeth has had the most wonderful idea. I am going to take my own
modiste
to London with me." His arm around
Cecile,
holding her at his side, Dunstan looked quizzically at his wife. "Isn't she clever? I will have the most original clothes this Season."

"But,
Cecile,
I only suggested you say you had your own
modiste
."