Midnight Eternal (20 page)

I was glad she told me to think about it and not to answer aloud, though I really didn’t have to put any thought into it. I knew I still loved him and that I was his mate. I would never love another person as much as I loved him, with the possible exception being the tiny life that was growing inside of me.

After that, our conversation was light again. I really enjoyed talking to the family even though I missed Oliver every moment. I wanted to call him, but I knew his wishes and I just couldn’t give in. Seeing how happy this family was, I wanted that for myself and my child. I had to admit part of me held out hope that if I made it through the pregnancy, Oliver and I might be able to patch things up. It was doubtful, though. I’d called mum and boldly defied him as a Master.

Although I didn’t feel tired, Gabriel suggested that I try to get some sleep while the next IV ran into my system. I smiled when I entered my bedroom and saw four specimen containers on my dresser. Apparently Caleb and Shane had left me enough for tonight and tomorrow.

Gabriel was right; I did need the sleep. It started my routine of sleeping while the IV was being infused, and usually for an hour or so after. I’d then wake and spend time talking with him or Caroline, or another member of the family who had stopped by.

I nursed from Payton a few more times and got to know both Caleb and Sydney a lot better during their visits. One afternoon, I woke to find little girl sitting next to my bed. I thought she was going to sit there quietly, but she surprised me by speaking. “Are you going through with the genetic transformation?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. Right now I’m focusing on the baby.”

She nodded. “I used to be human,” she said, telling me what I already knew.

“How…” I stopped myself. Oliver had said I’d be the first voluntary person he knew, so I didn’t want to ask any inappropriate questions.

“It’s okay,” she said quietly. “I was in the forest with my sister. There were six of them. Men.” She got quiet for a while and I realized what she was saying. “It went on for a long time. I had a lot of come in me when one of them bit me to get me to stop screaming. I watched them kill my sister. I thought they were going to kill me.” She took a deep breath. “Mommy saved me.”

I understood her devotion to Payton on a whole new level. “I’m so sorry.” It was all I could think to say.

“The actual transformation didn’t really hurt. That’s why I’m telling you. Don’t be afraid. My Mommy won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

“Thank you,” I said genuinely.

She smiled softly, then without another word, got up and left the room.

It was odd how her words seemed to reassure me the most. I didn’t know if I’d ever actually go through the change now that Oliver and I weren’t together, but it was at least nice to know that if I did, it wouldn’t be that bad.

In between visitors, I’d
lie in the sun or use the tanning bed. If I didn’t miss Oliver so much, it wouldn’t have been bad. I’d gone to call or text him a million times, but I didn’t even have my phone. It was a blessing really. It kept me from being weak.

The only change in the routine was when everyone showed up one morning and I realized it was Sunday brunch. I looked around in a panic. Half of me was
afraid
that Oliver was there, and the other half was
hoping
he was.

“He’s not coming, Sweetheart. We told him when you arrived here to stay away unless you invited him.” Caroline’s words were soft and comforting, but still didn’t stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. “We can invite him. Do you want to see him?”

“I don’t know what I want,” I answered honestly.

She didn’t respond. Instead, she just took my hand and led me out back to her garden, where we sat in silence just looking at her flowers while she let me cry. I was lucky to have her. I hoped I’d be as good of a mother as she was.

Master

I thought the first hour was the worst—the time when I didn’t know where she was. The time I was worried she was lying in an alley somewhere, dying. I’ll admit finding out that she was safe at my parents’ house was better, but hearing that she didn’t want me there seemed worse than not knowing where she was. I am a man who is always in charge, and for the first time in my life, I was not in control of a situation that had the greatest impact of any I had experienced so far.

Bec’s leaving made me question everything. Was I not a good Dominant? Was it that I didn’t make her feel safe? She wrote the word mum and left the collar, leaving the lifestyle. For a moment, I even doubted myself enough to wonder if there was another man that she wanted to serve. I quickly dismissed the thought and hated that my mind had even gone there.

I called and texted my father relentlessly, asking how she was doing. He would only give me simple answers. She was “fine.” I wanted to demand more, but I knew if I got too pushy, he wouldn’t respond at all.

I was still having a difficult time processing everything. I didn’t understand her leaving the pill. I understood her not wanting to take it and wanting to keep the child, but that was impossible. Her leaving me was only delaying the inevitable anyway. I’d planned on her taking the tablet and holding her all night, just kissing her while it took effect. It was the hardest decision I’d ever made, and the thought that the same thing was happening now—that my child’s life was ending and the woman I loved was all alone—was a pain I didn’t think I’d even live though.

After she’d been gone two days, I assumed that all of my effects had worn off and she was back to her human state. She’d be warm and fragile. Her skin would be soft, and she’d bruise again. It no longer turned me on; it worried me. And when I thought of her skin, I thought of her mark…how it would have faded by now. The thought of it being gone made me ill, and though I didn’t sleep, I lay in bed for hours.

I went to work in the hopes that at least Sydney or Shane would come in so I could pump them for information if they’d seen her. No one showed up.

The weekend was hell, and when Sunday rolled around, I tried to resist the urge to go to my parents’ for brunch. I knew she’d be there. I wanted to see her, to kiss her, to mourn our child together. Finally giving into temptation, I headed toward their house. I just needed to make sure she was alright.

I figured they’d be inside eating, and all I really needed was a glimpse of her. My thought was that if I could just see her face, see that she was okay, alive, healthy, and that she’d survived the miscarriage, I’d be alright. It wasn’t that I thought I’d get over her—I knew I never  would—but maybe, once she had healed, she’d allow me back into her life in some way. Even if she didn’t want to be my submissive, I held out hope that we could have some sort of a relationship.

I parked down the road and decided to just walk along the beach.
 The plan was to get just close enough to the house to see her and then go, but I was surprised when I came around the bend and saw Shane skipping rocks across the lake.

“Oliver?” he asked in surprise before quickly looking behind him. I wondered if Bec had just been there. “What are you doing here?”

“I don’t want to make trouble, Shane. I just need to make sure she’s alright. Have you seen her?”

“Yes I’ve seen her and she’s…”

I interrupted him. “Don’t say fine. I can’t take it if I hear
fine
one more time.”

Shane sighed. “But she
is
fine.”

“What does that even mean? Fine. Is she happy? Angry? Does she hate me? Does she even mention me? Is she ill?” I stared at him, waiting for an answer but he was silent. “Come on, Shane. Say something!”

“Okay!” he groaned, giving in. “She’s tired a lot and she’s sad, alright? She hasn’t really said much. Look, I don’t feel right talking about her.”

I understood his reluctance , but he had to get how worried I was. “I don’t mean to put you in a bad position, but I’m just so worried. How is she doing physically?” That was my biggest concern—the miscarriage. I couldn’t even say the words aloud. “Did it, you know, go alright?”

He looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about. Before he could say anything, his phone went off. He’d gotten a text, and whatever it said had him looking at me with fear. What was it? What would he be afraid to tell me? The answer hit me like a ton of bricks—bad news about Bec. “What is it?” I asked, my voice cracking.

“It’s…just…I have to go…”

I grabbed his arm. “Where are you going? What the fuck is going on?”

“Nothing…” he said quietly, looking away. “Don’t be mad at me, Bro, it’s just that it’s my turn to give Bec my stuff.”

“Your stuff?” I asked in confusion.

“You know, so she can stay Bocaj.” Clearly I looked even more confused and then, just when it clicked as to what he meant by ‘his stuff’, he said it aloud. “She needs my stuff…my come.”

I lost it. There really is no other way to describe what happened; I lost all grip on reality. Lunging at him, I knocked him to the sand with a thud. My left hand wrapped around his throat while my right hand began punching his face. “YOU FUCKING GAVE HER YOUR COME?” I screamed at him, enunciating each blow.

His hands were locked around my throat, as well, and he was trying to push me off of him. “Get the fuck off of me, Oliver!” he growled, his fangs starting to show.

“How could you? She’s my fucking mate!” I shouted, the two of us rolling over in the sand and him breaking free of me.

“What was I suppose to do?” he responded, jumping to his feet. I remained in the crouching position, running my tongue over my pronounced fangs while he continued speaking. “She came to us asking for it.
 And like Gabriel said, if he, Caleb, and I didn’t give her our come, she would have gone looking for it from someone else.”

I lunged again and my fangs sunk into his neck. I knew that my toxin would have little to no effect, though. As Bocaj, we were nearly immune to our own toxin. Even during the mating ritual, it only rendered the females immobile if the bite was placed in the mating mark, and then only for a few minutes. For Shane, it just seemed to anger him. He lunged back, biting me on my right pectoral muscle. I screamed out in rage. The toxin burned but did little to deter me. We continued to wrestle on the beach, landing punches and sinking our fangs into each other until I felt a strong forearm around my neck and a set of hands grabbing my elbows, hauling me off of Shane. It didn’t matter, I let them because when I saw who it was, I wanted to go for them, too.

Gabriel and Sydney were pinning Shane down, which meant that it must be Payton and Caleb who had me. I wanted to fucking kill every one of them who had fucked my girl.

I glared at Gabriel, who was looking from Shane to me in astonishment. Shane looked bad. He had cuts and scrapes from where I’d punched him, his skin was torn from the bite marks, and the sand was stuck to the clear fluid that served as our blood which oozed from several of his wounds.

I assumed I looked worse. The fluid dripped from over my brow and onto my cheek. More ran down my chest onto my abdomen from the place Shane had bitten me. My shirt had been torn clean off. My fangs were still out and I was growling.

“How could you?” I snarled at my father, lunging though Payton and Caleb held me back. Instinct had his own hair
rise and his fangs elongate. “She came here for help and you fucked her?
My
mate?
My
butterfly?” At my accusation, his demeanor changed. His expression softened and his fangs retracted.

“What? Son, no. No one touched your butterfly. Is that what you think?” he asked calmly, which only irritated me further.

“Shane told me you were giving her your come,” I growled through clenched teeth.

“Yes, because she asked for it. But we didn’t touch her. We gave it intravenously.”

When his words registered, my muscles relaxed. The relief that washed over my body was instantaneous, and I was filled with emotions I wasn’t sure how to deal with. I felt simultaneous joy and sorrow. I was elated, yet I wanted to cry.

I looked at Shane on the ground rubbing his jaw. “So you never fucked her?” I asked, my voice now much calmer.

“No, Bro. Do you think I’m insane?” he questioned, brushing himself off and standing up.

I closed my eyes and ran my hand through my hair. “Fuck…fuck…fuck! I’m so sorry, Shane. It’s just that when you said you had to go and give Bec your come, I lost it.”

Sydney rounded on him. “You told him you had to go give her your come! You said it like that?” She was shouting and poking at his chest. “It’s no wonder he attacked you. You are an
idiot
!”

“Well, I said…stuff, but, uh yeah,” Shane said, backing up and away from Sydney.

It was a dumb choice of words, but I still felt awful for what I did to him. “I really am sorry, man. I’ll make it up to you, and I didn’t mean to cause a problem. I just wanted to see her, to see for myself that she was alright.” I turned to Gabriel. “I know that you keep saying she’s fine, but I just can’t see how she’s fine when I’m barely able to function.”

“You do look like shit,” Payton said, moving around from behind me.

“I haven’t eaten anything or gone out in the sun since before Bec left, and obviously I haven’t fed from her. I’m exhausted and weak.”

“Why don’t you come inside and have some brunch,” Gabriel started to say, but I shook my head, cutting him off.

“No, you were right. I shouldn’t be here. Bec came here to get away from me, and I don’t want to upset her.”

“Come in for a quick bite to eat. You can use the tanning bed if you want, as well. Bec should be asleep for another hour at least. She always sleeps for a while after we run the IV.” That didn’t sound right at all. Bec always had the most energy right after she fed from me or we had intercourse.

The food sounded great and so did the ultraviolet machine, but the main reason I accepted the invitation to brunch was to that I could talk to everyone about Bec a bit more.

As we walked up to the house, I questioned Gabriel about why she was sleeping after she received the come. “Are you sure she’ll be asleep? Does she sleep a lot?”

He nodded. “An hour or two every five. I’m not really comfortable talking about her with you, Oliver. I know you are very concerned for her, but I feel like I’m talking about her behind her back.”

I knew what he meant because I felt bad about it, too. “It’s alright, I understand. Just one more quick question. She’s eating, right?”

“Yes, she’s eating. Now you eat, then get some sun.”

I drank some of my mother’s egg mixture and walked down the hall toward where the UV machine was. I had no intention of disturbing Bec’s sleep, but the door to her room was open and I couldn’t resist the urge to peek in at her. Her eyes were closed, but the moment I stuck my head in the door they opened.

“Oliver?” she asked, sitting up slowly.

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be here and I didn’t mean to disturb you. I’m just not feeling well. I’m going to use the ultraviolet machine, then I’ll go. I’m so sorry.” I turned to go, embarrassed I’d been caught checking on her.

“You’re not feeling well?” she questioned, stopping me.

“I’m fine, just a bit weak. I haven’t eaten or gotten sun since you…well, in a while.” I thought about the last time we’d been together and how we’d fed from each other.

“Oh,” she said, looking down and very submissive. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you any problems.”

“Babygirl,” I said, walking toward her without thinking, “you didn’t cause me any problems. I was just worried about you.” I looked at the IV in her arm and touched the place it went into her hand. “I’m
still
worried about you.”

She stared at my hand on hers. “I’m sorry about that. I know you’re upset that I didn’t do as you asked.”

“I’m more upset that you left without talking to me—that you felt you
couldn’t
talk to me.” I squeezed her hand gently. “And I’m really upset that you took off your collar and aren’t my butterfly anymore.” I wasn’t looking at her, but I heard her sniff and knew she was crying. “What I’m most upset about, though,” I confessed, “is that you don’t want to be my mate any longer.”

“Who said I don’t want to be your mate?” she asked softly. I looked up at her. “I will always want to be your mate, I just thought that since I didn’t obey you, I couldn’t wear your collar, and that since I couldn’t wear your collar, you wouldn’t want me.”

“Wouldn’t want you? Bec, I want you with every fiber of my being.” Placing my hand under her chin, I lifted her head so that I could look into her eyes. “Collar or not, you are the only woman for me. I’ve wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I’ll want you for the rest of my life. I love you. I need you. You will always be my one and only—my mate. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, to be with you eternally.”

“Oliver, I want that, too.”

I brought my mouth to hers and kissed her gently at first. She whimpered and parted her lips, inviting my tongue to enter, and I accepted with eagerness. Continuing to hold her chin with one hand and moving my other hand to her hair to hold her head in place, I made love to her mouth with my own.