Midnight My Love (15 page)

It was all he could do not to pull her
against him. Damien reached to smooth the hair from her forehead.
Alex pushed his hand away, her eyes blazing.

He stepped back. "You're a green-eyed
sorceress and you've dominated my life far too long. I want you.
God, how I want you. But I shall not be a slave to love or be
caught in parson's mousetrap," he said. "I know what a woman can do
to a man. I'm leaving Willowmede as soon as Robert is well. If I
stay, I won't be held accountable for the consequences."

Damien left her at the door, and Alex stared
after him through tear-misted eyes as he headed for the
stables.

****

That evening, Alexandra stood before the
full-length looking glass in her bedchamber as her maid fastened
the tiny buttons of her pale amber evening gown. Maggie adjusted
the silk skirts and placed a Norwich shawl across her mistress's
shoulders.

"Thank you, Maggie," she said. "That will be
all." Alex sat by the window until it was time to go down to
dinner.

Why had Damien kissed her at the waterfall?
Up until that moment, he'd kept a cool distance as they worked
night after night in the observatory. The awkwardness between them
had lessened. Alex had finally started to feel comfortable with him
again. Sometimes she'd catch his hot gaze on her, his eyes burning
golden brown, but the look would quickly be replaced with a hard,
almost impersonal light.

Their special bond seemed to be resurrecting
itself. She began to see the side of Damien she'd known as a child.
She enjoyed working with him again as they had with her father so
many years ago.

Damien was as enthusiastic about her project
as she was. His examination and analysis of her data on the George
was invaluable. Every night, he tracked the planet's orbit and
plotted its course, making notes and calculations in her journal.
She wrote her thesis and together they carefully analyzed every
word. With Damien by her side, Alex was sure she could submit a
truly remarkable treatise to the Royal Society.

But why had he kissed her? This afternoon,
when she'd opened her eyes and found Damien standing there, her
pulse had raced, thrilled with knowing he'd followed her to the
waterfall. For one terrible moment, he had looked like he despised
her--as if he didn't really wish to be near her. She thought she
must have imagined his contempt, because in the next instant she
was clasped against his hard body.

Alex shook her head. None of it made any
sense.

When he took her in his arms, Damien seemed
to be fighting an inner struggle. One moment, he was cursing her
and the next, passionately kissing her. She traced her lips with
her finger. They still felt tender and bruised. He had kissed her
as if he wanted to hurt her.

And just as suddenly, the kiss had changed.
Alex remembered feeling Damien's body meld with hers. Her cheeks
grew hot, when she recalled their intimate embrace.

Alex jumped to her feet. Surely, she
couldn't be in love with Damien? He was a hardened rake. He had
little respect for women. When she was a child, she had easily
dismissed his past and reputation because it had nothing to do with
their friendship. Love and friendship were two different things.
She couldn't dismiss his past now. It had everything to do with her
if she loved him. No, she must be mistaken--she wasn't in love with
Damien.

Then why had she responded to his
lovemaking? Carlisle had stolen several kisses throughout his
persistent courtship. He was good and honorable, yet his kisses
left her cold. They were nothing compared to Damien's.

Alex picked up her handkerchief from the
dressing table. She could never marry Carlisle now. Not after the
way she'd responded to Damien's kiss.

Did he feel any affection for her?
Sometimes, she felt he didn't even like her. His moods often
shifted from warm and friendly to forbidding and cold.

I know what a woman can do
to a man.
Had Damien suffered at the hands
of another woman?

Alex clenched the handkerchief in a tight
fist. She wanted to wipe the memories of past lovers from Damien's
mind. She longed to soothe the hurt that tormented him.

My God! Maybe she
did
love him.

With cheeks hot, Alex remembered clasping
her arms around Damien's neck, boldly pulling him back into the
embrace. He had relaxed and the wall he'd built between them had
suddenly given way. He'd been so tender and gentle when he'd
carried her in his arms across the stream. Then, as soon as he had
set her on the bank, the wall was instantly raised again.

Impossible man. Half
devil, half . . .
what
?

Alex reminded herself that Damien had many
good qualities. His friendship with Robert ran deep; staying to
help him through his convalescence had proven that. And she
appreciated Damien's help and support with her project. He had a
brilliant mind.

Alex recalled his urgency when he kissed
her. Could she break through his barriers and make him love her
just a little? Did she really want to?

Glancing at the ormolu clock on her mantel,
she saw it was nearing six. If she didn't hurry, she'd be late for
dinner. It would never do to keep the guests waiting. Rearranging
her shawl across her shoulders, she left her room.

As she turned the corner near the stairs,
Alex saw a flustered chambermaid emerging from Damien's rooms. It
was Lucy, the buxom little maid who had helped her dress that first
day Robert had returned to Willowmede. The maid's cap was askew,
her cheeks flushed. She seemed highly agitated and angry.

"Is something wrong, Lucy?" Alex called.

When Lucy spied her mistress, her blue eyes
widened. Whether from surprise or fear, Alex couldn't tell. Holding
the back of her fist against trembling lips, the young maid burst
into tears.

Alex guided the whimpering servant back to
her own bedchamber. She handed her the handkerchief and waited
until she'd quit blubbering. "Now, what is this all about? What
were you doing in Rochdale's rooms?"

"Oh, Miss!" sniffed Lucy. "I was taking his
lordship his shaving water and Mr. Ellis left to remove a spot from
Lord Rochdale's jacket." She sniffed again, shifting her eyes from
side to side. Alex had the impression she was stalling for
time.

Lucy twisted the
handkerchief and suddenly looked straight into her mistress's eyes.
"I was about to leave when his lordship told me the water was cold.
I went over to the shaving stand to get the pitcher and. . . and he
grabbed me by the waist . . . and
kissed
me." Lucy buried her face in
her hands and her shoulders shook with sobs.

Alexandra felt as if she'd been plunged into
an ice-cold abyss. She stared blindly at Lucy's bent head. The maid
was young and pretty, though her eyes sometimes held a calculating
look.

Helping Lucy to her feet, Alex heard herself
apologizing for Rochdale's actions. "I'm sorry you've been exposed
to this sort of thing in this house. You're very young and men
sometimes take advantage of servants' situations. But not at
Willowmede. Dry your eyes and return to your duties."

"Thank you, Miss." Bobbing a curtsy, Lucy
handed the ravaged handkerchief to her mistress and returned to the
kitchens.

Alex followed, watching the pert sway of
Lucy's hips and her jaunty descent down the stairs. There was
something about the new maid she couldn't quite like.

But Rochdale should never have kissed the
girl. Robert once told her Damien didn't have female servants in
any of his holdings. No wonder, if he went about seducing them
all.

Alexandra felt weak with a pain she couldn't
deny. She'd always known he was a libertine. How could Damien kiss
someone else so soon, after what had passed between them this
afternoon? Obviously, it meant nothing to him that he had held her,
ravished her mouth. Her face burned--how she had wanted him! And
she had let him know just how much.

Straightening her shoulders, Alex started
down the stairs. She was determined to banish her feelings for
Demon Avenall and give Sir Howard Carlisle another chance.

Alexandra paused in front
of the closed door to the Crimson Room, where everyone was
assembled before dinner. She took a deep breath and summoned up her
most charming smile.

Upon entering the room, she saw Robert
standing near the hearth, a strained look on his face. Aunt
Haygood, in her favorite chair, spoke earnestly to Lord Thane. Lady
Felicia, with her pug in her lap, sat next to her father on the
sofa and Jenny worked busily on her tambour frame. There was no
sign of Rochdale yet.

Aunt Haygood beamed at her niece.
"Alexandra, dearest. I was just telling Lord Thane how he would
benefit immensely from my peppermint teas. They're just the thing
to rejuvenate him and put life into his soul."

Alex sat in a chair next to her aunt. Lord
Thane's eyes bulged and his numerous chins quivered. Somehow, she
didn't think he relished the thought of drinking anything weaker
than wine.

"How was the fishing today, my lord?" Alex
asked.

"Ah . . . fishing," the
earl sighed in relief. "Now
that
puts life into a man. The trout were hitting
splendidly, just as you promised. Remarkable sport. I gave the
day's catch to your cook, and left instructions on how best to
prepare it. Hope you don't mind, my dear."

Alex smiled. "Not at all. I hope Mrs.
Abernathy will not disappoint you."

The doors opened and Sterling showed
Carlisle in. The squire came to stand near Alex's chair.

"My dear Miss Turlington," he said softly.
He took her hand in his and Alexandra clung to him like a
lifeline.

Rochdale arrived at this moment and strode
quickly toward the hearth. Alex wondered if his face was frozen in
a permanent scowl. His penetrating gaze held hers for a brief
second, then he turned his shoulder and conversed with Robert until
Sterling announced dinner.

****

Damien sat at the long dining table and
sipped his wine. The first course had passed smoothly, though he'd
noticed a certain tension among the diners. He covertly watched
Robert at the head of the table. This was his friend's first time
to dine among guests.

When the second course was served, Lord
Thane bestirred himself. "Miss Turlington, I hope you enjoy the
trout. I told your cook to use lemon-butter and rosemary for
garnish, then broil them for twelve minutes. No more, no less." He
allowed a footman to place a generous helping of the trout on his
plate, with a serving of boiled potatoes and asparagus on the side.
"Only one thing better than catching fish and that's eating 'em,"
he said, his mouth partially full and his fat cheeks rolling.

Damien was served a portion of the roasted
round of beef, and realized there were none of the usual stews or
puddings which had previously graced the dinner table since
Robert's accident. He hoped Mrs. Abernathy wouldn't send his meat
in, already cut.

He'd caught an unusually determined light in
Rob's eye tonight. Something was in the wind. At that moment,
Robert pulled out a gold and jeweled dirk.

The shining hilt caught Lord Thane's eye.
"Pretty knife, Turlington. Antique, ain't it?"

"Yes," Robert said, "it's been in the family
for quite some time."

Alexandra stared at the knife. "Isn't that
the dagger from the armory? The one we always begged to hold when
we were children?"

Robert smiled. "The very
same." He glanced at Jenny. "
Someone
decided it was undignified
for the master of Willowmede to have his meat cut for him, so Mrs.
Tolles dug this up. She and Sterling helped me learn to manage it
without feeling too clumsy."

Lord Thane nodded. "Smart thinking. Never
hide a weakness when you can pull the thing off with style, as
Brummel says. May start a new fashion, m'boy. If you go to Town and
eat with that elegant little knife, bet you a pony, you'll have
some of the young bucks aping you."

Robert laughed. "Lucky for me and the ton, I
don't go to Town often." He proceeded to do a credible job with the
roast beef.

Damien covertly watched Lady Felicia. She
had stared once at the knife, then pointedly ignored Robert. She
devoted herself to Carlisle, who was seated on her left. So much
for true love. He caught Jenny casting several furtive glances at
Robert. Her gray eyes beamed with a hidden pride even though Damien
thought she seemed on the verge of tears.

Alexandra smiled at her brother. "You're
doing remarkably well, Robert. You must have been practicing for
days."

Taking a drink from his wineglass, Robert
looked at Jenny over the rim. "Actually, I've only had the knife a
short while. You see, I was issued a personal challenge."

Jenny caught Robert's intense stare and her
cheeks grew pink.

Alexandra's brow creased in thought. "Now,
what can you mean by that cryptic remark, I wonder?"

"I don't think I'll tell you just yet,
sister dear."

Aunt Haygood interrupted. "I wish you two
would quit talking in circles. My mind's in a whirl trying to
follow. I'll have to brew some Roman chamomile to soothe my aching
head." She turned to Thane. "And don't think I've forgotten you, my
lord. I'll make my special peppermint tea tonight and soon you'll
be right as rain."

Lord Thane grunted and applied himself to
his food. Damien thought the earl would manage to avoid the tea
tray tonight.

He wondered if Alex planned to work in the
observatory later. Would she allow him to help? Or would she spurn
his company because of what happened this afternoon?