Midnight Squad: The Grim (10 page)

           
“When he finished, he did the only thing he could to save
his career. Diego declared that I was not only a seductress, an adulterer, and
a fornicator, but that I was a witch as well. I was condemned and burned at the
stake. Apparently, he had a bout of conscience prior to my execution. He
offered to let me go free if I admitted everything. I couldn’t do that. They’d
taken everything from me. They took my pride, my freedom, everything, even the
most cherished treasure of my womanhood. I only had two things left: my love
for God, and my self-respect. If I agreed, I’d be throwing away the last two
good things in my life. I’d be bearing false witness, and no matter how poor my
situation seemed, no matter how far my world had fallen, I still knew that this
was a sin. A sin against the God I loved, and still love. I’d also have to
surrender my self-respect. I just couldn’t do it. Two months later on a cool
may morning, I was executed on the stake. In those days, it was customary to
allow a family member, or a friend to strangle the condemned so that they
wouldn’t have to suffer. Since I had neither, Diego instructed that any willing
nun could assist me, sparing me the pain of my immolation. They all just stood
and watched as the flames ate at me. The last thing I heard before death took
me was their taunting and laughter.”

           
Tears welled in my eyes. I blinked them back down.
Instinctively I reached out to put an arm around her. Janine’s brow furrowed in
concentration as she made herself solid enough to touch. She smelled faintly of
smoke. My chest hurt, aching at the realization that the smoke was the last
evidence of a poor innocent woman’s murder. “I’m sorry.” I whispered as I
turned my head away. Tears were slipping down my face. I did my best to look
like I was scratching my nose as I wiped away the tears.

           
“It’s ok. I made my peace with what was done a long time
ago.” Her voice sounded small, and wounded. I pulled the poor girl into a hug.
I felt her arms twine around me. Her shoulders bobbed as she quietly cried into
my chest. After a while, she faded and my arms fell through her. As my hands
passed through they felt icy cold, and wet, but once they left her body they
were dry, and room temperature.

           
“I’m sorry. It’s been awhile since I’ve spoken about
that. I forget how it affects me. Please excuse my outburst.” I just smiled and
nodded as she floated back from me. “I awoke, if you want to call it that,
floating above my ashes. The nuns had gone back to their chores. Diego left
back to his duties. They left me there as a warning to the townsfolk. Since
then I’ve been like this.”

           
“So what did you do?” I moved back to the chair. I sat
down waiting for the story of her revenge.

           
“I went around the nunnery forgiving all of my sisters.
Not that they could hear me. I wasn’t able to do many of the things I can do
now. I didn’t know how to move energy to manifest myself. It takes time to
learn to control
it,
otherwise it can control you and
turn you into a poltergeist. I also made my way to the town and forgave them
for their part, then made my way to Diego’s church. Unfortunately, he was
killed by a woman’s jealous husband before I had a chance to forgive him in
person.” I sat there dumbfounded. Forgive; she forgave them? I felt cheated for
her. Where was the satisfaction that came with retribution? Apparently, my
shock was obvious.

           
“
Grimmy
, I believe in a God
that loved us so much that he sent his son to save us all in spite of
ourselves. He loves us eternally, and completely. I believe that the son of God
walked with us, that he ate with us. He joked with us, and even cried with us.
I believe he still does. I believe that Jesus died to take away all of the
world’s sins, and he forgives us all our transgressions. He loves and forgives
us. In return, he expects us to love and forgive one another. It’s the least I
could do for my Lord considering all he did for me.”

           
“All he did for you? What did he do other than let you
burn, allow people to victimize you, and turn a blind eye while Diego raped…how
can you believe that with everything that was done? They burned you at the
stake! Where was God then?” Janine’s lips pressed together in irritation. I
should have kept my mouth shut, but I just couldn’t help myself. Everything she
went through was just…wrong.

           
“The Lord gave me life. He gave me a shoulder to lean on
through troubled times. He still does. When the nuns were there tormenting me,
it was Jesus that gave me hope for the next day. When Diego took advantage of
me, Jesus’ love stopped me from taking my own life. He loved me until I could
love myself again. When they burnt me, I was all alone, except for him. You
shouldn’t blame God for the actions of men. He loved us enough to let us make
our own decisions; it isn’t his fault that so many make bad ones.”

           
My teeth ground in frustration, “but God’s supposed to be
all powerful, omnipotent, and good. How can a good god allow suffering?” Janine
gave me a serene smile. “Grim, I asked myself that a long time ago. The simple
fact is that God doesn’t allow suffering. God allows choice; suffering is
sometimes just the result of a bad choice. Suffering and pleasure are just the
reactions to decisions we make. A life worth living can only exist if God
allows us free will. If God took away our ability to choose in order to stop
suffering, then he’d also be taking away our opportunity to experience any real
pleasure. If you want to be a slave then go ahead and blame God for letting you
decide, but even then, you’re still making a decision. You made a decision to
blame God. If he takes that ability to choose away then what’s left of you?
What makes your life worth living if you never have a say in what happens?”

           
The passion in her eyes, the love in her voice. I felt
ashamed, but I still wasn’t about to let it go. “Ok, putting God aside for a
moment. I still don’t understand how you could just forgive them.” Janine’s
smile became as sweet and serene as the surface of a lake. “I forgave them
because my Lord forgave me. I forgave them because I don’t want to hold onto
that pain. I forgave them because if I didn’t it would mean they still have
power over me. That they could still hurt me. I’m not saying I’ve forgotten
what they did, but I’m not going to add to it by holding onto that blame until
it festers and eats through my soul. That’s how ghosts become poltergeists, and
I deserve better than that, we all do.”

           
I just stood there. What could I say? As much as I wanted
to argue there really wasn’t anything left to argue
about.
I just stood there with my stupid mouth open. Janine put her hand on my chest,
“Listen, Grim…I know you’re in a lot of pain. I know Alhambra did horrible
things to you, but by holding onto those feelings, you’re only hurting
yourself. I’m not saying you have to forgive her, but if can you find it in
your heart to try to consider the possibility. Not for her…for you.” My heart
was almost breaking. It was as if Gandhi, and Mother Theresa had a child that
grew up to have “C” cups and an ass you could bounce a quarter off of. Well I
guess it would have to be a ghost quarter. A ghost quarter…head trauma does odd
things to the brain.

           
“Janine…I’ll try.” She seemed to be happy that I’d at
least give it a shot.
“So about your version of the welcome
wagon?”
A sly smile played across her face. “Elizabeth said Penny should
be the first to meet you. She said that Penny is the one of us most likely to
be able to convince you about what we do here without scaring you off. Don’t
get me wrong, our resident neck biter is great, but I thought my hands on
initiation might be more appreciated. I had planned just a friendly greeting,
but when I actually saw the pain inside you…I wanted to help you any way I
could.” I couldn’t help but nod and giggle a little. I wasn’t exactly healed,
but I was feeling a lot better after being with her than I did when I first
arrived. A woman caring for me really helped more than I realized. I arrived
here angry and ready to do what I do best. Since we’d been together I was
thinking more clearly. The rage was gone. Maybe in time…I might not be the
monster I’ve become. Frankly, after having met everyone here, the only two
monsters in this place were Alhambra and
myself
. With
Janine’s help I might even remember what being a man is like.

           
“Well, after our time together I was kind of drained.
It’s hard to keep up an illusion like that for any length of time. Therefore, I
thought I’d recharge a bit by absorbing the ambient energy that hung in the air
after we’d finished. I just wasn’t expecting so much.” I just stared at her
confused.

           
“Grim, ghosts are basically energy. If I use too much I
fade into nothing…at least until I’m able to recharge. If I have a lot of
energy to draw from I can look as normal as any of you, but it’s temporary at
best. So when I relaxed to absorb the extra energy it overwhelmed me.”

           
“Did it hurt? I mean you burst into flames, and
exploded.”

           
She looked a little embarrassed, “No, actually…I had
another orgasm. To be honest I had several. It was amazing. I just lost myself
for a moment there. I’m sorry about that by the way. That had to
be…disturbing.” I nodded and laughed, “Well nobody got hurt. I can’t say the
end was particularly sexy, but I think I’ll take that over a woman faking it
anytime.”

           
“Well clearly that wasn’t a problem.” She laughed. “It
probably wouldn’t have been so dramatic, but when I came I was kind of worried
I’d phase you into the bed so I fought against it until I just couldn‘t take it
anymore and I exploded.”

           
“
Phase
me? What!” My thoughts
scrambled trying to understand. Janine grabbed me by the shoulders. I felt my
whole body go cold. “Grim, reach out and touch the wall.” My hand reached
toward the wall, and then passed through. It felt like my hand was pushing
through thick mud. I pulled my hand out, and Janine took her hands off me, I
felt normal again. “I can also turn you invisible, and make you float, but I’d
have to take possession of your body for that.” I know I looked a little
startled because she caressed my face. “I don’t mean I’d have control of you. I
just have to be inside of you. DD let me test it out with her a couple of
times. It was actually much more pleasant than either of us would have
expected. Although we couldn’t do it for long because when I’m inside the cold
spot around her is particularly intense. It’s like standing naked in a
blizzard.” Interesting, I filed this away in the back of my mind. There was
serious military potential with that.

           
I heard a knock, “Come in!” I barked. Janine disappeared
as the door swung open. DD stepped inside. “
Grimmy
,
Ms. Mann said I should bring you these. These are the folders on your squad
members. You’ll want to familiarize yourself with all the info. Now I don’t
want to be rude, but I have an online date with a guy that likes to pretend
he’s a giant pink bear on second life, and sadly that’s the most action I’ve
had in six months so beggars can’t be choosers.” I snorted in surprise, “He
does what? Where? What the hell?”

           
“Oh don’t be such a prude
Grimmy
.
Ralphie
is a furry. In case you didn’t notice there
aren’t many men roaming around here? Besides, I had a thing for Yogi Bear when
I was growing up. What can I say? I’m a complex girl.” DD turned and made her
way to the door, “Go easy on him Janine, he’s had a long day and needs some
rest.”

           
“How did you know I was here?” Janine popped back into
view. “I smelled smoke, and…duh!” DD slipped out the door. Janine looked like a
child caught with her hand in the candy jar. “Well Grim, I need to go too. I
had fun earlier, and it was nice to talk about things. Nevertheless, I have a
new audio book waiting on me, and like the great philosophers say: if there is
a steamy romance and I’m not there to hear it. Then how will I ever get all hot
and bothered? Bye Grim, I’ll see you tonight…sweet dreams.” She faded away, her
laughter still filling the room even after she was gone.

           
I awoke early in the evening. I shaved, showered, and
then made myself a quick meal. After studying the files on my squad I had a
pile of confusion, and the beginnings of a migraine. They all read like
phonebooks. The paperwork was nothing but medical charts, and investigative
studies on the powers and abilities of my people. There was nothing personal,
and it felt more like I was reading an instruction manual for a microwave
instead of learning about the people I’d be relying on. As frustrating as it
was, I was still able write down a few personal notes when I found something
that might be particularly useful. I was concentrating mostly on Janine’s file.
There was so much untapped potential there. My head was already whirling with
ways to implement her talents.

 
I’d also learned none of my people had
training with weapons. Some couldn’t use a traditional weapon for practical
purposes. Penny didn’t use guns because the sound and recoil interfered with
her ability to echolocate, and since she relied so heavily that sense, using a
gun left her effectively blind.
Danika
couldn’t keep
a weapon on her. Hell, she couldn’t keep clothes. The holsters fell off during
her change, and as a wolf/human hybrid, her claws made holding a gun next to
impossible. In her wolf form, it was useless anyway.