Midnight Surrender (Freedom Fighters Series Book 2) (10 page)

I paused beside the bed and watched my little son as he slept. Emotion washed through me, flooding me like a rising tide as loneliness and despair overwhelmed and cascaded down around me. Tears sprang to my eyes. I took a deep breath. And another.

With a small cry I let the emotion overtake me. Laying down I wept into the pillow, silencing my cries of anguish. My shoulders shook with the sobs, bouncing the mattress beneath me. Eventually I fell into an exhausted sleep, too tired to notice the noises outside of our hideout.

Alec had never been so happy to see a place in his life. The bunker wasn’t far away now. He would reach it within the next hour, joy spreading through his chest at the thought. Finally, after all of these months he could safely return to his wife and son. His heart ached at the thought.

God how he missed her. Her beauty. Her smile. The way she loved him when he held her close. And his little son Benjamin. He must be so big by now. Alec ached with the thought of all the moments he had missed. All the time lost.

The jeep sped along the ground as he stepped on the gas pedal. Nothing would keep him from his goal tonight. He was filled with a deep longing as he pictured Lizzie’s face. Alec couldn’t wait to kiss her and pull her close. The thought of making love to her after all this time sent the ache from his chest to his groin.

“Boss…you all right?”

He sent a glance in Big Dog’s direction. “I’m anxious.”

“I know. Lizzie will be happy to see you.”

He sighed. “If she isn’t angry with me first.”

“She might be but it wasn’t your fault. Explain it to her,” he encouraged.

“Ha!” He snorted. “You know her temper.”

Big Dog chuckled. “Yes I do.”

It might be easier said than done. He hadn’t sent any word to her at all in almost six months. So much had happened that he didn’t know where to begin. Every movement he made had been tracked. Time and again he had been followed.

Whenever he thought he had lost the assassins he would be attacked. He couldn’t trust the lives of his wife and son to uncertainty. Alec had waited until he was absolutely sure that every one of the assassins had been defeated. Not until they were dead did he dare to seek Lizzie out.

Time had passed swiftly. He had been active in these last months, waging war against their enemies. They knew his name now, almost feared it. Massive amounts of recruits and refugees flocked to their side. The more the militia bombed, the more enemies they made.

Freedom Fighter numbers were at record high levels. The number of bases they held were in the hundreds. Catapulted in a role of leadership he hadn’t sought he became the driving force behind the refugee movement and the Freedom Fighters. He was the face of hope. The face of the future. The man who was bringing the militia down.

It was unprecedented.

Victorious.

And lonely…

His time in the militia had not been wasted. The years he spent with them gave Alec an unparalleled advantage. He knew codes. He knew procedure. He knew their strategy and chain of command.

He could gage their reactions, plan for their attacks, and he knew where the best weapons and vehicles, planes and tanks, and supplies were hidden. Alec knew the location of every base, shut down or open. He updated numerous maps and plans. His growing list of operatives was impressive. His influence reached far beyond the capitol, even the state. He was becoming famous.

Famous…and recognizable.

For months he had memorized every strategic bunker, air strip, and ship that the militia had. With this knowledge he reaped destruction. In a word he had been given a title of honor and respect among the people but the enemy sought to bring him low.

Nicknamed the “Reaper” by the militia, he had inspired loyalty instead of fear. Alec had become their worst nightmare. In so doing he had made himself and his family vulnerable. Public enemy number one. And so the assassins had been sent.

This was his greatest regret. They were a target now. The militia would hunt and seek his family until they were dead. He might as well have called for their deaths himself. Anger and frustration at the situation filled his thoughts. How would he ever be able to protect them now? How could he ensure they would be safe?

If the militia ever managed to capture Lizzie and his son it would mean torture and death. They would brainwash his son and turn him against Alec. He had seen their tactics of rehabilitation. They would kill Lizzie just to torment him.

Anguish filled his heart and he gasped at the pain of realization. There wasn’t a way to keep them safe. Not really. Not now, not after all that had transpired.

And then he knew. He wouldn’t be able to stay with them. Alec couldn’t now. His presence, no matter how brief, would always put them at risk. The more he sought them out, the greater the risk of their discovery. Oh God, he had no choice.

Alec let his foot release slowly off the accelerator until he came to a dead stop. Shrouded by the blackness of night he let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. His forehead fell forward and rested against the steering wheel. Erratic thumping in his chest increased his anxiety and pain filled his heart, as if someone were squeezing the life right out of it.

Lizzie would never let him go. She would never agree to his terms. She loved him too implicitly to allow him to walk away. Once he entered that building he only had one of two choices: stay forever or walk away and never come back.

Tears sprang to his eyes and he fought them back. Weakness wasn’t an option. Alec had to be strong now. Strong enough for the three of them. God only knew if he had the ability to do it.

The sound of low voices awakened me. At first I didn’t recognize the low timber of the masculine voice in my head. As realization dawned I bolted upright in bed. Jumping and running for the door, I nearly tripped and skid into the doorway in my haste.

“Alec!” I screamed.

His eyes found mine instantly, locking with such force that I forgot to breathe. I ran to him and jumped into his arms afraid I was dreaming. His arms slid around my back as he pulled me close, the familiar presence of his touch bringing me home.

“Lizzie,” he whispered in my ear.

Tears filled my eyes and spilled over. “Alec...you came back.”

He brushed away the tears with his fingers before lowering his lips to claim mine. Scorching heat spread through my limbs as he lifted me without breaking the kiss. Without a word he walked toward the bedroom door, shutting out the world around us, and clicking it closed with his steel toed boot.

We fell back on the bed, hastily removing our clothes. I fumbled with my blouse but managed to open it without popping all of the buttons. Alec smiled as his gaze devoured me. In one swift movement his pants hit the floor with the rest of his belongings, discarded and forgotten in our passion.

He yanked off my blouse and his lips made a heated, wet descent. He ran his thumb over my nipple sending shivers of delight into my core. I gasped at the intensity of sensation. Lifting his shirt, I ran my hands over his chest and abs, my fingers lingering on his underwear, pulling at the waistband.

He kissed me, his body rubbing against mine. I could feel the hardness of him and I gasped again. He responded with a smile. He lowered my hand and I felt how much he wanted me. His moan of pleasure filled my brain, consuming me. I arched against him, passion almost overriding my senses. Our hands drove each other to heights nearly unthinkable.

I reached for him, increasing his need and gasped at his response, clinging to him as he leaned me back against the soft cover of the mattress. I did not protest when his head lowered and he gave me what I needed in return. Alec had never done that. It was erotic and I felt like a pagan.

He was not finished. He pulled me back into his arms and kissed me again, his body arching against mine, his hips driving, shoving against my pelvis. His hands were hot, liquid fire as they roamed my breasts, cupping the soft flesh. His lips followed his hands, delicious torment building my need again. I arched toward him, pulling him close, nearly forgetting everything in that moment. I rode wave after wave of pleasure in his arms.

His lips were nuzzling my throat while his hands roamed over my curves. Trails of liquid heat followed his lips as they made their way down my neck, across my chest, and over my stomach. I gasped as his fingers lingered over my panties before finally tearing them from my body.

God, I loved it when he did that.

“Alec! Oh Alec!” I cried.

Moments later our bodies joined in a delicious rhythm. Both of us giving, both of us taking, we made love like two dying men on the brink of starvation. Our passion rose again and again until finally it exploded, like a canon firing into the distance, like a bolt of thunder booming in the sky above. Crying out in unison, our love spoken on our lips and declared by our souls, spent and sated we fell asleep in our lover’s arms. Entwined. Fulfilled. Blissful.

I had been watching Alec for several minutes in silence. Something was bothering him. He never paced unless he was agitated or frustrated about something important. Whatever it was made him feel suddenly distant even in the same room together. I didn’t like it or the feeling of dread that entered my heart.

“What’s the matter?” I asked softly.

Alec continued to pace. Ignoring my question, he asked one instead.

“When was your last cycle?”

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “My cycle? Um…two weeks ago? Why?”

He didn’t answer. Minutes ticked by. I asked him again.

“Why? What’s wrong Alec?”

He finally looked at me, his eyes guarded. “It’s nothing.”

Nothing? Since when did Alec hide things from me? When did he start keeping secrets? What about his promise to always be truthful no matter what?

Time should not change his promise. Nor distance.

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” I replied.

He stared at me for a moment and continued his silence. I opened my mouth to speak but a knock sounded on the door. He walked over and opened it, a forced smile on his face.

“How about a nice big breakfast this morning?” Mal asked cheerfully.

“I’m starving, thanks. We’ll meet you at the mess in a few minutes. Lizzie is feeding Benjamin.”

Before Mal could answer he closed the door. I could hear his footsteps shuffling away. That wasn’t very nice. Mal was being gracious. Besides, he had seen my breasts more often than I could count. We had spent the last five and a half months together. What was Alec’s problem? Had he suddenly developed a dislike to other men watching me breastfeed?

My confusion deepened when he went into the bathroom and jumped in the shower, still not responding to me. I could hear the splashing as he washed. The smell of shampoo filled my nostrils. I burped little Benjamin and put him in his playpen, content with his toys and blocks.

Quickly I undressed and stepped into the shower, my fingers reaching for my husband’s chest. Alec moaned when he felt my touch and claimed my mouth instantly. Making love in a shower was tricky but we managed it, hot water running down our naked bodies and into the drain. With it washed away all of my worries. I would find out what was bothering Alec and put his mind at ease. Smiling I kissed him softly and hugged him close, certain I could make everything right.

I entered the kitchen with little Benjamin on my hip amid laughter. Big Dog and Mal were arm wrestling over one of the mess tables, trying their best to take the other down. I laughed lightly and settled my little boy into his high chair. Immediately he started smacking on the top of it and giggling. I cut up some pancake and sausage and put it in front of him. He loved it, digging in, licking his fingers and making little yum noises.

Alec had entered with us and picked up two plates, filling them with food for himself and me. I watched him with interest, wondering if he knew how his silence bothered me. After the shower he had remained strangely quiet.

It gnawed at me, my thoughts remaining jumbled. When was he going to tell me where he had been? When would he give his excuses for why he had stayed away? What had happened during my absence? Was there nothing at all that he wanted to say?

No assurances? No words of comfort? Wasn’t he here to stay?

More than anything I wanted to know what was going on in the war. Mal had tried to get radio reception inside the bunker but we had heard precious little from the outside world.

I worried repeatedly about Alec’s capture or demise. I worried about my fellow refugees. Most of all I worried if he still loved me and wanted me the same as before. His silence was causing doubt and uncertainty to enter my mind. It made me skittish and nervous.

I chewed my bottom lip.

“Have a seat Lizzie and eat,” Alec offered, handing me a plate.

“Thank you,” I answered.

Pushing the food around on the plate I pretended to eat, having little appetite. Worry did that. It always made me sick to my stomach.

Big Dog noticed. “You not hungry honey?”

I shook my head and smiled, pushing the almost full plate away. Alec was eating but watching me carefully. I noticed Mal glancing at me as well. I sighed and cleared the table, stopping to wash dishes in the sink. Blinking back tears, I scrubbed plates in the hot water.

I felt strong arms slip around my waist and a chin rest on my right shoulder.

“Lizzie there’s nothing to worry about.”

I turned around and looked into his eyes. “Is that the truth?”

He looked momentarily startled. Shaking his head, I wasn’t sure if he was convincing me or making some kind of bargain with himself. Irritated I walked away and cleaned up little Benjamin. When he was changed and happy I sought Mal. He was lounging on a couch with Big Dog.
           “Would you mind watching Benjamin for a few minutes?”
           “Mow.” Little Benjamin said and clapped his hands.
           “Come to Uncle Mal little man.” He grinned, taking him from my arms.
           I didn’t miss his frown as he looked up at me. I shook my head in response and left, walking quickly to find my husband. I didn’t have far to go. He was leaning over a table filled with at least a dozen maps, many of them creased from use. Even though he heard me enter, he didn’t say a word.
           “Alec…we need to talk.”
           He sighed. “I know.”
           Good. At least we both agreed on something.
           “Well…” I asked and waited.
           “What would you like to know Lizzie?” He asked, his voice becoming guarded.
           “What would
I like to know?
Well how about where the hell have you been? Why haven’t you returned to us before now?”
           I couldn’t keep the edge off my voice. He felt it and flinched.
           “I never intended to stay away Lizzie. It was not my choice,” he answered.
           Whose choice was it then? Why was he being so secretive?
           For some reason he wouldn’t look at me. Fear made my blood run cold. Fear and suspicion. Was there another woman? Is that why he wouldn’t look at me? Or was he simply overwhelmed from becoming a husband and father so quickly? Did he want out? Was that the
real
reason?
           I gulped loudly. “Is it me?”
           I hadn’t meant to cry but the tears fell anyway. He looked up sharply from the table and crossed to me. Tilting my chin with his hands, he forced my gaze to meet his.
           “Never. If there is anything good or right or happy in this world it is you and me and our wonderful son. Trust in that. Always my love,” he reassured me.
           His lips met mine in confirmation. Sweet and gentle. In the back of my mind I knew I was letting him off too easily. He said what he knew would placate me. But was it the truth? I did not know and I was not ready to pursue it. His kiss melted my suspicions and I relaxed against him.
           “Better now?” He asked.
           “Yes. But aren’t you going to explain everything to me? There has to be so much for me to know.”
           He nodded. “Yes, come here. See this spot?”
           He pointed to a dense area on the map. I didn’t realize what he was pointing to at first and then I saw the location. It was Refugee Road.
           “Yes, Refugee Road. Where you found me again.”
           His eyes softened and he smiled. “Yes, darling. It has some importance to both of us. The militia is planning something big here. I’ve been trying to find out what for months. Intelligence has been slow but after we captured a few soldiers last week we found out the truth. They are going to bomb Refugee Road and close it, including the outlying cities, about six in total. That’s thousands of lives Lizzie.”
           Bombing Refugee Road was a brilliant strategy for the militia. I honestly didn’t know why it had not been done before. The only conclusion I could make was that they needed that road, until now.
           “Oh my God Alec! These are our people. Families and children live there. They have to be stopped.”
           “Yes, and that is why…I can’t stay long Lizzie,” he confided.
           The floor literally fell out from under me and I sank down without realizing it.
           “I see,” I whispered. He was leaving me again.
           Alec pulled me over to the couch and onto his lap.
           “This is important. I can’t leave it to chance. I have to make sure the militia is stopped. It could be the turning point of the whole war,” he explained, his palm resting against my cheek.
           “I want to go,” I told him.
           I did want to go. I wanted to be involved. We had fought for this for almost five long years now. It held as much meaning and sacrifice for me as it did for Alec.
           “No Lizzie.” His voice was hard.
           I knew that was his answer before he spoke but it still hurt.
           “Why not? I’m not going to take little Benjamin with us. Mal would stay with him. He’s old enough to wean.”
           His eyes became hard steel. “Absolutely not. I will not have you put in harm’s way, especially on purpose. You have a duty here to provide for our child. He
needs
you.”
           “Duty?! You can sit here and talk to me about duty when you leave your wife and child for nearly six months without a word?”
           I had nearly shrieked in my anger. The lines around his eyes became more pronounced and his jaw tightened in barely restrained emotion.
           “I have more duty and honor than you know Lizzie. It nearly killed me to leave you and it will again when I have to go. Why make this harder than it has to be?” He asked, taking a deep breath.
           Something else lurked behind his eyes. He was still hiding something from me. I knew it. I could feel it. The hurt and the anger deepened and I lashed out, not knowing how to explain how I felt.
           “Why don’t you want me there? Is there another woman?”
           He looked as if I had slapped him. “How could you accuse me of something so vile?”
           “You are keeping something from me. I feel it. Don’t you think I can feel it?” I yelled.
           Surprise covered his face before he masked it again in anger.
           “Lizzie!” He yelled back.
           I recoiled from him, certain now that he had broken his solemn promise to me. He had kept the truth hidden. Lie or not, he was not telling me everything. The knowledge of that sank my heart into despair and I cried out, smacking him in the chest. He grabbed my arms and crushed me to his chest, a sob escaping his throat.
           “I swear to you there is no one else. No one in this whole world but you, not now, not
ever
.”
           I shook my head. How could I ever believe him now? He sounded sincere but now I knew Alec was keeping secrets and it changed everything in that moment.