Mina's Heart (29 page)

As if choreographed, the pair danced in a routine that was phenomenal to see. Both men wielded the floggers as extension of themselves. The leather falls flew through the air in a pattern Mina couldn’t quite make out. It was elegant and beautiful, and it moved too quickly. The brothers circled her body, subjecting her front and back to the same treatment. Lydia didn’t act as if it hurt, but Mina couldn’t see how it wouldn’t. She truly didn’t understand the sense of ecstasy shining from Lydia’s face.

Ever’s torso was covered in sweat—so was Wild’s—and his muscles glistened in the glow of the bucket lights.

After a long time, Lydia’s head fell forward. The motion of the falls slowed and stopped. Wilder wrapped his arms around Lydia, supporting her body as Ever released the restraints.

Wordlessly, Ever crossed to Mina, took her hand, and escorted her upstairs to his room. When the door was firmly shut behind them, Mina broke the spell. “Is she going to be okay?”

“Yeah.” Ever sat down on an accent chair and removed his shoes. “She’s in subspace. Wilder will bring her out slowly and make sure she’s warm and comfortable. When she’s ready, he’ll take her home.”

Wild lived a five-minute walk from Ever, though he’d driven tonight, probably in deference to the fact that Lydia hadn’t been wearing much and the temperature had dropped down into the fifties.

Ever’s earlier comment came back and made her think. She sat on the edge of the bed and drew her knees up, hugging them to her chest. “You want to do that to me.”

Halfway to his closet with his shoes in hand, Ever paused. “Not unless that’s what you want me to do to you.” He turned slowly to face her, firmness marking the set of his lips. “But you have to really want it. No pretending because it’s what you think I want, and no pressure from what you saw tonight. I did this because you wanted to see it.”

There had been other reasons, but from his tone, she deduced this was the only one that mattered. Mina nodded her understanding.

“Get ready for bed, honey. It’s been a long day.” He headed into the bathroom. After a minute, she heard the shower running.

* * * *

A noise woke her. She sat up, listening, but it didn’t happen again. Next to her, Ever slept deeply. The day had been long and physically demanding. He’d fallen asleep as soon as he’d hit the mattress. She didn’t want to wake him for a false alarm. Besides, she didn’t have the impression they were in danger. The sound had likely been a pump kicking on or off. For all she knew, it was the water softener cycling through.

She settled back under the covers and closed her eyes. As time passed, she realized she wasn’t going to fall back asleep. Too many thoughts raced through her mind, playing all the bad parts of her life like a cheesy horror movie.

She slid off the side of the bed and grabbed her sweats and his shirt. Then she crept out of the room, closing the door behind her. She slipped the shirt over her head as she tiptoed down the hall, but she paused at the top of the steps to get into her bottoms.

The kitchen wasn’t all that messy. She would clean it up, but he’d instructed her to wait until the morning. So she climbed up on the counter and got a cup from the cupboard. When Ever had been formulating his plan for the kitchen, he’d mentioned keeping step stools around. If he had them, they weren’t stored in the open, and she wasn’t about to go digging in his closets. In all likelihood, this would be her last night in his house.

She ran water from the faucet into the glass. The coolness of the liquid as it slid down her throat served to wake her up completely. She poured the rest into a mug and put it in the microwave. The buttons beeped as she pushed them, and Ever’s tired smile greeted her as she turned to find the sugar and tea.

He leaned against the door frame and ran his fingers through his hair, leaving it even more tousled. The look brought back sweet memories, and her heart beat a little faster.

“Do you want to talk about it?” His demeanor might indicate lethargy, but his tone made the question seem more like a command.

She didn’t want to talk about it. She wanted to go for a long walk or meditate. She wanted to sit at her desk in California and mourn what could have been. But none of those things would get her what she wanted. Six years ago, she had let cowardice conspire with her doubts and fear to rob her of the only man she’d ever truly loved.

She couldn’t let that happen again.

A long, sharp signal indicated that her water was warm. Swallowing her fear, she gave him a tentative nod. “Yeah. Want some tea?”

“Sure. I got some of that apple-cinnamon chamomile you like.” He crossed to a cupboard and took down a canister from the top shelf.

His statement bolstered her courage. Ever wasn’t much of a tea drinker, and the fact that he’d gone out of his way to special order her favorite evening tea spoke volumes.

She put another mug in the microwave, and he handed her two tea bags. “Thank you.”

He kissed her temple and went to sit at the small table under the window. “I think we should start with the biggest thing and then move on to the smaller issues.”

That strategy had never appealed to her before, and it didn’t now, but she knew better than to run again. She bought time by making tea.

As soon as she sat down, Ever put a halt to her stalling. His elbows rested on the table, and he curled his finger around the handle of his mug. “Mina, what scares you the most?”

She thought it was interesting that he’d ask her to identify her fear first. It didn’t really manifest differently from anxiety. Nobody but Ever had been able to read her like this.

Looking down at the wisps of steam rising from her tea, she rotated her shoulders in a small shrug. “This conversation.”

He didn’t miss a beat. “What scares you about talking to me?”

“I don’t know how to do it.”

She made the mistake of lifting her gaze. He caught it, and he held it with the steel in his eyes. “You open your mouth, and words come out.”

“It’s not as easy as you make it sound.”

“It’s not as difficult as you think it is.” Without surrendering his power over her, he sipped his tea. It had to be too hot, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“I don’t want to upset you.”

He chuckled lightly. “Honey, you can’t be afraid of upsetting me. If we’re going to make this work, then eventually you’re going to upset me, and I’m going to upset you. Then we work it out and move forward. That’s what a relationship is.”

Hope elevated her spirits and gave her courage. He’d mentioned having a future in an offhand, roundabout way before, but he hadn’t spoken so explicitly.

She took a deep breath and let it out. “Jude said you wanted me to fail last night. He said you set me up and that I lived down to your expectations.”

All traces of sleep left his face. His eyes widened in shock, and then they narrowed. He compressed his lips, fury thinning them. “That’s what he said to you when you were on the bench?”

Mina nodded. She was alarmed at his reaction, mostly because she hadn’t thought she could upset him so quickly. “I know he was angry, but when he said it, he sounded like he was gloating. Like that’s what he expected from me.”

Sadness joined anger in the lines around his eyes. “You did a number on me when you left. My friends are loyal. Perhaps too loyal. I’ll have a talk with Jude. He can’t go around saying things like that to you.”

She noticed he didn’t deny the truth of what his friend had said. Now that she was in this, she pushed the issue. “Did you?”

“Did I set up a play party just so you’d fail?” He bit his lower lip. “Originally, I think I wanted to make you uncomfortable, to see how you would handle being with my friends. But then when you told me why you left…I should have called it off. I shouldn’t have let you decide. You weren’t ready for something like that. We aren’t ready for something like that.”

He closed his eyes and pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead. Mina sat back and tried to control the thunderous galloping of her heart. Jude hadn’t been lying. Perhaps he had thrown the words at her with malicious intent. Perhaps Ever’s intent had changed. But that didn’t make it less true. She didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry, honey. It was my fault. I’ll take care of it. I’ll make it right with Jude and Sara.” He opened his eyes and placed his hand on the table, palm up, asking for hers. “Mina, I’ve messed up with you in more ways than that. I’m not a mind reader. I’ll always need you to tell me why you’re upset. I can’t change the past. I can apologize. I can make things right moving forward, but I can’t live without you.”

Now her heart thundered for a different reason, and her stubborn streak kicked in. She ran her fingertip over the design on the hot mug. “You lived just fine without me for six years.”

Ever shook his head. He caught her hand in his. “I survived, but I didn’t live. No matter what was going on, I always felt as if half of me was missing. I only feel whole when I’m with you.”

She stared down at the way his hand enveloped her smaller one, protected and safe. All this time, she’d been living half a life too. “Finding out about you the way I did… It scared me. I understand better now, but I’m still learning. Some things I like, but some of the things you want seem like they’re designed to overwhelm me. I left you because I was afraid you’d swallow me up and forget I was a person.”

Visions of the way her father had taken her mother for granted, yelling whenever anything wasn’t exactly how he wanted it, assailed her. But Ever had never raised his voice to her. Perhaps he’d spanked her, but that had only happened after she’d given her permission. At the time, she hadn’t really felt she had other options.

“No,” he said. “Never. I know what you’re thinking, Mina, but I’m not like your father. I was raised to cherish my submissive. That’s what I want to do with you—cherish you.”

Lifting her gaze, she found his sea-foam-green eyes fixed on her. His expression certainly backed up his declaration, so she took a chance. “No more corporal punishment. I know that’s a big thing to you, but I just can’t live with it.” She could, but she didn’t want to, and she didn’t feel the need to make that distinction.

Ever’s mouth ticked up at the corner in a boyish half smile. “I’ve already decided to do away with that. Don’t worry. I have plenty of other ways to discipline you.”

He scooted their mugs out of the way and pulled her across the table. When she was almost completely on top of it, he slung his other arm under her bottom and pulled her the rest of the way into his lap. She luxuriated in the solid warmth of his body cradling hers.

Cupping his hands around her face, he rested his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry I treated you as my submissive without asking you first. I’d never been in love before, and I didn’t quite know how to handle letting you in on my dominant nature without scaring you away, but I know that’s only an excuse. Life with someone you love isn’t always easy, but I can’t have you running away from me ever again. I need your word, Mina. I need to hear you say that you’re as committed to making this work as I am.”

His breath, desperate and harsh, fanned over her lips and chin.

She lifted her hand and feathered her fingertips over his rough cheek. “I love you, Everett Burke. I’m not going anywhere. And I promise to tell you exactly why I’m upset with you from this point forward. Please keep in mind that you might come to regret that.”

He didn’t chuckle at her warning as she expected. Instead, he claimed her with a deep, probing kiss that promised a lifetime of cherished memories.

“I love you, Mina Sung. I always have, and I always will.”

He stood, lifting her easily, and carried her from the room.

“Ever, our tea is going to get cold.”

“Don’t worry, honey. I’ll make sure you’re too exhausted to stay awake.”

Epilogue

Mina shifted her butt, trying to ease the sharpness from where her hips rested against the heavy butcher-block countertop. This kitchen feature was meant for cutting things, not disciplining submissives who meant well.

Her arms were stretched toward the corners of the rectangular slab, ropes around her wrists holding her in that direction. She was bent over the side, her feet resting on the floor. However, spread so wide, they provided very little support. Additional ropes wound around her thighs and ankles, binding her to the sturdy legs of the movable table she’d brought from California. It had been one of the only furniture items she’d shipped across the country.

She lifted her torso, trying to ease the pain that way, but she found only a few centimeters of movement available.

“Master?”

Ever stood a few feet in front of her at the sink. The last shafts of sunlight streamed through the window, lending an ethereal glow to his light brown hair. The summer sun wouldn’t last for much longer. Ever must have thought so as well, because he reached over and flipped on the lights.

“Submissives who refuse to pass the salt don’t get to speak. Do you need a gag, honey?”

Oasis had proved to be very thorough indeed. Not only did they require a complete physical of all their employees every year, but the owner of the company stuck her nose in where she saw problems. Being his mother, Macy Burke had violated her son’s privacy rights and told Mina that Ever’s cholesterol numbers weren’t good. Though he was physically fit, his diet needed to improve.

Refusing to pass the salt at dinner would become a small thing once he found out she’d dumped out all his beer. He liked to have one after dinner or when he came home from work. She’d also donated his supply of prepackaged snack cakes. Though she’d replaced them with some healthier options that she’d baked herself, she couldn’t see him taking that news too well either.

“I need something under my hips, because I think my bones are going to come through my skin.”

He left the room and returned a minute later with a thin fleece blanket, which he slid under her hips. “Better?”

“Yes, Master. Thank you.” She rested her cheek against the smooth grain of the table.

He ran his fingertips down her spine, continuing the caress around to her clit, which he pinched. She jumped and tried to wiggle away, but movement was impossible. He pressed and tapped the little bundle of nerves.