Mind Games (20 page)

“I was scared. I wanted to stop him, but the mantra I kept trying to focus on turned into something else, and I remember looking at Dana and repeating, ‘You know what you must do.’ I-I didn’t want him to hurt himself. He’d been so awful to me, but I didn’t want him to die. You have to believe me.”

She encircled his biceps with her hands, squeezing hard at his muscles. Her eyes misted, pleading for him to understand. She started to tremble. He pulled her into his chest and stroked her hair, trying to make sense of what she’d told him.

“I wouldn’t hurt anyone, Derrick,” she mumbled against him. “I wouldn’t. You have to believe me.”

He planted his chin on top of her head and rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. “I’m trying, Sparrow. I’m trying.”

In the last hour he had learned his sister might be dead, and about the unusual circumstances surrounding Dana’s suicide. He clung on to hope Katie was still alive and crying out for help. Sparrow’s so-called visions convinced him she had repressed memories. After tomorrow, when they met with the hypnotherapist and those dark memories were uncovered, he would have a lead and then maybe evidence of Dr. Von Langley’s malpractice. Her father.

“Sparrow, your mother had an awfully strange reaction to Angel. I remember her saying, ‘You were not ever supposed to come back. Sparrow helped you leave. Oh, dear, Sparrow, how’d she find you?’ What do you think she meant?”

She leaned against his arms and looked up at him. He wished he could put the light back into her forlorn eyes. “From the moment I saw Angel, she reminded me of the girl in my visions. Maybe in your subconscious you recognized the resemblance to your sister, and that’s why you wanted so desperately to help Angel.”

He turned the suggestion over in his mind. Angel seemed familiar to Sparrow and her mother. Cora Von Langley could have a repressed memory too. It was more than possible that Dr. Von Langley had treated his sister—more likely mistreated her—after she had run away from home. According to Sly, Dr. Von Langley hadn’t been a stranger to High Point. He could have picked up kids for years and used them as human guinea pigs.

If this hypnotherapist could recover Sparrow’s memory, she could be the prime witness to seal Dr. Von Langley’s fate. A daughter could testify against a father. However, even if they could get Cora Von Langley to see the hypnotherapist, could that evidence be entered into court? A wife couldn’t testify against her husband. At least Derrick didn’t think so. He growled in frustration. He should have gone to law school instead of medical school.

He pulled her upright and placed his hands on his shoulders. “I hope we have more answers after tomorrow.”

“Me too.”

He inhaled deeply before he dropped his arms to his sides and walked over to the breakfast bar. He picked up the photo and computer-generated image of Katie and tucked both securely into his wallet. “I should go. I’ll pick you up at eight sharp.” He fished for his car keys deep inside his pocket.

“Don’t leave.” She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He twisted in her embrace to face her. “Tomorrow could change everything, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I think what you meant to say is that tomorrow we might find out some interesting things about my father, and when we do you’re going after him with everything you’ve got.”

“And then some.” Especially if he’s had anything to do with my sister.

Her hands slid up the front of his shirt and rested on his chest. Her eyes searched his face.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“But how will you feel about us after tomorrow? Have you thought about that?”

She hooked her hands around his shoulders. Her fingers kneaded into his tense muscles. He could easily relax into her touch and forget everything they had said. He resisted the urge to gather her up in his arms and pull her closer.

“Nothing will change.”

Her vacant eyes held his. He knew that look. If he left her now she would feel abandoned. Alone.

“What if this hypnotherapist discovers something else?”

“Like what?”

He reached up and gripped her massaging hands, forcing her to stop. He looked at her with the same seriousness he gave to a patient when he was giving a grim diagnosis. “What if it’s not a repressed memory you’re suffering from but some sort of psychotic breakdown?”

“Oh, I see, you like to fix other people but you’re too afraid to fix someone you—”

“Care about. I care about you, and I’m worried that if you don’t get the answers you want you’ll fight me on everything. I understand your reluctance to hear me out when I first brought up your father’s treatment, but you have to admit things look awfully suspicious now. You resisted going to the hospital after I found you outside, cold and shivering, and insisting you saw a dead body in the ocean. Sparrow, I’m a doctor and I have an oath to uphold. I can’t force you to seek medical treatment, but I thought you trusted me.” He moved her hands from off his shoulders and clutched them in front of his chest. He eased his grip. “I’m worried about what all of this will do to you.”

Her slender eyebrows knitted together and her button nose scrunched in the center of her face, contorting with confusion, or maybe frustration. “Then why are you leaving?”

“You’re not making it easy.”

“That’s because you’re not making sense. Whether we like this or not, it’s happening. You’ve made valid points, but we can’t change the fact that we’re involved. On many levels. If you want to end what we’ve started then say so, but don’t use these other things as the reason.”

“I don’t want to end what we’ve got going. I just don’t want you to feel like you’ve got to choose between me and your father. Should it come to that.”

“Derrick, if he’s done anything wrong, I’ll have no choice. I’m not going to stick my head in the sand. What if he hasn’t? If I’ve had some sort of psychotic breakdown, as you’ve suggested, can you stand by me?”

“If you’ll let me.”

“I’ll let you.”

She bounced up on her tiptoes and wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling his face to hers, and smashed her lips against his. He grabbed her arms from around his shoulders and eased them away, squeezing her hands in his, pulling away from her ferocious kiss.

“Don’t. You don’t have to do this.”

Disappointment shadowed the brilliance of her green eyes. She misunderstood his intention. He didn’t want their relationship to end, but he didn’t know if she needed a friend now more than she needed a boyfriend.

Sparrow froze at his feet. Derrick halted their kiss, leaving an abyss of unease settling between them. The warmth of his body no longer offered comfort. She shook her hands free of his, stepped back, and busied herself with picking up the cups and saucers from the breakfast bar. Derrick met her at the kitchen sink, placing the tray of tea biscuits on the counter next to her.

He wrapped an arm around her, forcing her to stop cleaning. Heat flushed her body at his touch. She pushed off the kitchen faucet and put down the dishcloth she’d been absently saturating with dish soap. She reached for the nearest kitchen towel and dried her hands. An unwanted nervous energy zipped through her body, brought on by him rejecting her kiss. The anxiety he stirred within her increased. She needed to keep busy. His hand brushed against hers, and he pulled the twisted towel from her grip. He gave her an apologetic look.

“It’s not that I don’t want you.”

He didn’t say,
I want you
, but those were the words she wanted to hear. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. His breath rustled against her ear, but he didn’t linger.

“I’m not some fragile doll that will break, Derrick. Stop treating me like one. I can make my own decisions. I did contact the hypnotherapist, and I have every intention of getting to the bottom of this.”

His lips half curled into a smile, but she didn’t appreciate his patronizing grin.

“I know. The only thing that you and the dolls you destroy have in common is that you’re both sexy as hell.”

She leaned in closer to him. “You’re confusing me. I kiss you and you pull away, and now I’m sexy as hell, and ‘it’s not that you don’t want me’? What’s that all about?” She didn’t like him toying with her emotions. She’d tolerated enough of Dana’s head games, a man who could go from hot to cold in sixty seconds. She wanted a man who would treat her like a woman and not some blowup doll to be used at his disposal.

“I thought you might need a friend more than you need a lover.”

“You can’t be both?”

“I can.”

“Good. Then stop making decisions for both of us. Concern yourself with what
you
want,” she said, intentionally choosing her words to give him the perfect lead-in.

“What do I want?” He took the bait. His fingers drummed against her back. She rolled her eyes at his flippant behavior. “I want to stay here with you.”

She wrapped her arm around his waist and dragged him away from the kitchen. “It’s late. Let’s go to bed. We’ve got to see that hypnotherapist in the morning.”

Derrick draped his jeans over a plush red crushed velvet chair in the corner of her bedroom. Sparrow took his dress shirt from him and hung it in her closet. His shoes rested underneath the chair with his socks folded over the tops.

Doctors pulled long hours. She doubted he would mind sleeping in his boxers and wearing them tomorrow when he accompanied her to her appointment with Violet Crosby.

He moved the decorative pillows off the bed and turned down the quilt and sheets. She stripped out of her clothes and then fumbled with the clasp on the back of her bra. She stared down into the open drawer of pajamas. Derrick’s hands crawled up her back, and he unhooked the metal clasp, pushing the straps over her shoulders. The bra fell against the dresser. Her breasts were reflected in the mirror. He kissed the nape of her neck. His hands made small circular motions against the sides of her shoulders.

“It’s been one hell of a day. Come to bed.”

“Mmm-hmm.” She reached inside the drawer for a silk nighty. He cupped his hand over hers, forcing her to drop the garment.

“Why bother?”

He wrapped his arm around the front of her stomach and dragged her into bed, pulling the covers over them. He wrestled off his boxers and tossed them onto the floor. His hands came around her hips, and he pulled her into the crook of his body. He rested his chin on top of her head. They lay together in silence. She wondered what he was thinking. She had unloaded so much on him tonight about her visions, and she couldn’t imagine how the shock about his sister was settling in. Guilt blanketed her about having him in her bed. He could have wanted time alone, even if he’d agreed to stay. She didn’t want him to share her bed for her sake. Minutes stretched. She settled against his body, closing the small space between them. His arms wrapped tighter around her. She nestled closer.

The heat of their bodies and skin-on-skin contact warmed the cool bed and soothed her selfish heart. They both needed this time to unwind and let go of the day. Tonight they wouldn’t be alone. They had each other to lean on. She pushed thoughts of tomorrow and what she’d soon learn about her awful visions from her mind. Restlessness smothered her under the sheets, and she wished he would touch her and make her forget about today. He’d made his intention clear when he forced the nightgown from her hand. He wanted to make love. She tilted her head back so that her face was closer to his.

He kissed the side of her cheek, trailing kisses around her ear and down her neck. The tension over tomorrow slowly drained from her limbs. His arms crossed over her body and his fingers rested across her hipbones, gently caressing, sliding across her abdomen, and then reached up to cup her breasts.

“I like looking at you,” he said, and pulled down the covers.

She shimmied out of her panties, wanting to expose all of her to him. He threw his leg over her bare thigh. She tickled the erogenous zone behind his knee, nuzzling against his lips and tongue running down the side of her neck. His head rested against the dip in her shoulder, blowing his hot breath across her nakedness. He dragged a lazy finger down the side of her ribcage, tracing the curve of her hip around to her tailbone and up each vertebra, sending pleasurable shivers up her spine.

They touched and comforted each other under the covers in the still of the night.

A longing moan hissed from between her lips over the sounds of ruffling sheets and their heavy breaths.

Derrick scooped her up and pulled her body on top of his. Her mouth watered. The urgency in his eyes almost masked the pain. Almost. His hands roughly yanked back her hair, and he forced her face to his, crushing his mouth against hers. She wanted him so much. But not like this. Not when he was hurting. She couldn’t resist him. A slow ache dipped between her thighs. She couldn’t make up her mind to stop what her body naturally wanted. He stirred an insistent and agonizing need, blazing deep within her. She spread open her legs and coaxed him closer to her heat.

His body loomed above her. The seconds ticked. Agony and anticipation washed over her. She waited for him to take the plunge. He kissed her forehead then abruptly jumped out of bed. He paused by his jeans folded across the back of the chair, picking them up and shaking out the legs wildly in the air.

“Derrick, I want you. Don’t go.”

He looked over his shoulder and smiled at her. His hands searched the pockets. A devilish look sparkled in his eyes, and his smile widened. A condom was pinched between his fingers.

“I think we need this, and this.” He pulled another condom out of the pocket, and tore the corner of the wrapper with his teeth then rolled the film of protection over his length and climbed into bed.

An admiring expression filled his face, matching his passionate eyes. His hands caressed every inch of her flesh, starting with her feet, up her legs, over her stomach, across her arms. He teased at her heat. Mad with need, she lurched upward.

“A bit anxious, are we?” he asked, then pushed her down against the bed and gave her what she wanted.

Her hands sank into the mattress. She grabbed fistfuls of sheets. The movement of his hips created a tender friction deep within her sex.

They made love. The roller coaster of emotions between them erupted. She sensed his need to forget the turmoil surrounding them as much as she wanted to. Consuming each other would help them both escape. They pushed and pulled against their bodies’ natural rhythms, strumming back and forth toward the release they craved. She arched her back, pressing her hips firmly to his. The crescendo hit both of them.

He rolled onto his side and pulled her into the curve of his body, gently kissing her exposed shoulder. He caressed the length of her arm. His fingers sent shivers up her spine. She reached for his hand, holding it tightly in hers. She needed to lie still and hold on to the next few moments where everything in her world and his felt right and normal.

*               *               *

Derrick wasn’t sure when they’d finally drifted off to sleep. Early morning light spilled into her bedroom, shrouding them in a haze of dim gray. The day crept in and infected their happiness.

His arm was draped across her, and she snuggled closer against him. The warmth of her body pressing against him would have stirred instant arousal, but they were only hours away about learning the truth about her visions. Derrick wasn’t convinced her feelings for him wouldn’t change when he pressed charges against her father. From the minute he’d started looking into Dr. Theodore Von Langley’s therapy methods, uneasiness that wouldn’t go away had settled in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t shake the feeling this morning, either. He couldn’t make love to her again, not now, anyway. Not knowing how she truly felt about him. About them.

Derrick had never cared for another woman the way he cared for Sparrow. From the moment she started volunteering at the Mobile Health Clinic RV, he hadn’t hesitated to ask her out, and eventually found he wanted her around more and more. He wanted her in his life. Damn, he hated this situation with her father. He cared about her and worried about how all of this would affect her. If she didn’t want to see him, he’d regretfully accept her decision, but he hoped somehow they could remain in each other lives. He felt the F-word coming on, but after last night he didn’t know if he could just be her friend.

He allowed his eyes one final glance at her body. The subtle rise and fall of her peaches tempted him to rip the sheet from her body so his eyes could feast on her again, and his mouth could suckle strength from her nectar. Her legs parted, one hooked behind his, the other jutting out from the mattress, revealing toenails painted pink like cotton candy. His traitorous libido woke, and he wanted to sheathe himself in the slice of pink heaven between her legs.

He released a soft growl, knowing he couldn’t take her. Not now. Not with so many unanswered questions about his sister’s death and her father’s possible role in it.

Her body fit perfectly against his. Derrick inched away. He rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Finally, he got out of her bed. Before he did something they both might regret. He picked up his jeans hanging over the back of the chair then reached into her closet for his shirt. He carried the armful into the bathroom, dropping them onto the counter. She stirred, but before he could confirm if she was awake, he shut and locked the door. It was for her own good. If she came into the bathroom, one look into her satisfied, sultry green eyes would lure him back into her bed.

Quickly he showered. Everything in the small bathroom smelled of her, and the scent increased with the thick steam from the shower. Thinking about her and the multiple times they had made love last night had him craving one last taste of her. He turned the handle on the shower until it rained ice cold over him. The sound of the door handle turning caught his attention. He pushed the handle down and stopped his frigid shower. Next came the soft knocking.

“Derrick, I hope that’s you in there.”

“It’s me. I’ll be right out.”

He dried the chills from his cold skin and forced his damp legs into the denim. He took a deep breath and opened the door. Droplets of water clung to his bare chest. Sparrow reached in and fanned the moisture away. Her sultry, satisfied eyes looked up at him, ready for action.

“I didn’t mean to rush you.”

“You didn’t. I wanted to give you more time to sleep, and now you’ll have the bathroom to yourself. Why don’t I fix us breakfast?”

The saucy look on her face evaporated like the shower residue on his skin. “I get the feeling you’re trying to avoid me.” Her hands rested against her hips, pulling the silk fabric of her robe apart, exposing her breasts. His groin tightened, making his jeans small and uncomfortable. He spread his legs apart, making room for his untimely erection. It didn’t help. He stepped side to side, trying to make unnoticeable adjustments.

“I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t want to throw you down on the bed and make love to you. Right now. But I think we need clear heads this morning.”

“What did I tell you about thinking for
us
?”

He groaned. “Why don’t I just go fix us breakfast?”

She blocked the doorway with her petite frame, pressing her hands against the door’s molding. “Um, excuse me?” She didn’t move. He wasn’t sure what to do.

“What if I don’t want breakfast?”

“Baby, please, we’ve got a tough morning ahead of us.”

She looked down at his obvious desire and smiled up at him. “Well, at least I know you’re as attracted to me as I am to you. But please, stop anticipating my needs.” She stepped out of his way.

He reached behind the bathroom door and took down his shirt he’d hung on the hook and then walked past her, resisting the urge to pull her into his arms and down onto the bed. He put on his shirt and busied himself with the buttons, hoping she’d go into the bathroom and shut him out.