Mind Games (22 page)

“Sparrow, when you’re ready and while the memory is fresh in your mind, I’d like to talk about it in more detail,” Violet said.

“I don’t want to believe he hurt her, but I saw him watch her drown. It’s like he programmed all of us to do what he wanted. She didn’t even try to fight him and get out of the water.”

Violet leaned forward and planted her forearms against her thighs. “Do you remember telling me about the dark space?”

Sparrow gulped another drink of cool water to quench her overheating body. The nervous anxiety flowing through her veins made her flush in a cold sweat. Violet was kind, but Sparrow felt like she had been placed under a microscope. Suddenly the walls seemed to suck the air from the room, and she took several ragged breaths, trying to force air into her constricting chest. Violet had opened the floodgates in her mind, and the memories poured in. It was more than she could take, but she owed this to herself and to Derrick. They deserved to know the truth about Katie.

“My dad would tell me that when I wanted to forget something to find my dark place. Since I was little he would lock me inside of a closet.” She closed her eyes, hoping to slow the barrage of thoughts. Her face scrunched as she tried to sort through it all. “I’d hear my mom arguing with my dad about bringing home kids. He would tell her he was helping them, but she accused him of hurting them and questioned him about why she heard screaming and other noises coming from downstairs. That’s when he would make me go into the closet. He told me the dark would make me forget. My God, I’ve believed that my entire life. That’s why my yoga studio is dark. I don’t like the light. When I do yoga and meditate, I’m always searching for that dark void. My mind is selective about the memories it keeps. Somehow he conditioned me that way.”

Sparrow leaned forward and set the glass of water on the coffee table in front her. The thoughts rushing her mind stirred her anxiety. She twisted at the ring on her finger then ran the pad of her thumb over the oval lab-created gemstone.

“Normally, one session doesn’t bring out so much, but I think because of your practice of yoga and meditation, you were on the cusp of discovering your buried memories. You mentioned a charm bracelet. Can you tell me more about it?”

“We exchanged bracelets. I remember how much I liked hers the night me and my father brought her home. I asked my mom to take me to our jeweler so I could pick out a bracelet and fill it with charms. I gave mine to Katie, and she gave me hers so we could always remember each other.” Sparrow looked over at Derrick and laid her hand on his forearm. “I guess I dropped it inside of the jewelry box and forgot about it after all of these years—or
he
made me forget.”

He smiled at her through tightly closed lips and laid his hand on top of hers. His brown eyes glistened, and she hated thinking he was being strong for her by intentionally holding back his emotions. She knew hearing about what had happened to his sister must be terribly painful for him.

“I’d like to believe that even though your dad repressed your memory about that night that you unconsciously kept the charm bracelet to keep Katie’s memory alive,” Derrick said.

“Perhaps he’s right. Sparrow, you mentioned that you and your dad brought Katie home. Did your father and you bring girls home often?” Violet asked.

Her line of questioning didn’t bother Sparrow. The compassion in Violet’s eyes made it easy for her mind to open up and for her mouth to purge what she knew about her past.

“Sometimes he asked me to go with him to the beach. He told me we were helping the homeless kids. We brought home boys and girls, but I mostly remember Katie.”

“How did your dad like the idea of you wanting to be Katie’s sister?”

“He didn’t seem to mind.” Sparrow’s breath caught in her throat, and she stared down at the ring on her finger.
Blood sisters, that’s what we are. Blood sisters.
She could feel the panic rising in her chest. “If I hadn’t been so selfish and let her go, he wouldn’t have hurt her. Because I wanted her for a sister, it’s my fault what happened to her. He let me keep her like she was some stray. I don’t have any brothers or sisters, and I wished Katie had been my sister so much. I should have helped her leave.”

“Sparrow, you were just a young girl. You didn’t mean her harm.”

“Violet is right,” Derrick said. “I’m sure you cared for her a lot. It’s not your fault she ran away from home.”

Tears welled up behind her eyes as she thought of Derrick’s loss. Katie was his sister. So many memories about Katie came rushing back to her. The loss of her friend and witnessing her tragic demise hurt all over again. Her father had wiped her memory clean of that horrific day on the beach. Her once spotless mind clouded with the vivid recollection now, and she shuddered to think of how many more memories would soon emerge. She clung to Derrick’s comforting hand, feeling guilty for drawing on his strength when he had just learned his sister was dead. She slipped her hand from his, resting it in her lap, and looked down at the ring on her finger.

“Sparrow, after your dad showed up and found you and Katie at the beach, it became obvious to me that you were scared and concerned for your friend. Does the ring you’re wearing have some significance?” Violet asked, and reached for her hand, gently holding on to the tips of her fingers. “Do you know that you’re wearing a replica of a Victorian poison ring?”

Sparrow swallowed around the thickness building in the back of her throat. More tears threatened the back of her eyes. Her voice faltered. “I went to the mall and bought one for me and Katie. She was so excited when I gave it to her. We wanted to be blood sisters, so we each pricked our finger with a needle and put a drop of our blood in the top of the ring. We exchanged rings and then pressed our index fingers together and vowed to be sisters forever.”

Violet let go of her hand and Sparrow folded it against her chest, pressing the ring close to her heart. Disbelief clouded Derrick’s eyes. He reached for her hand and examined the ring. Concealed under the gemstone, his deceased sister’s blood was on her hands. She couldn’t imagine what he must be thinking.

“Do you know what this means?” Derrick asked. “If we can find anything that belonged to my sister at your parents’ mansion, we have DNA evidence in that ring to prove your father knew my sister. We’ve already got the charm bracelet, and I bet if we go through Dana’s things there’s got to be something that links your father to her death, since Dana had the missing charm.” His nostrils flared and a flicker of rage shadowed his eyes. “He killed her, and I’m going to prove it.”

Sparrow wasn’t prepared for Derrick’s overzealous desire to convict her father. She had barely processed the flash flood of memories drowning her brain, and now she was faced with accusing her father of murder. How could she be certain her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her?

*               *               *

Derrick turned away from Sparrow to look at Violet. “Have you recorded this session?”

“No. Most patients are not comfortable with a recorded session, and I’m not required by law to record it.”

He got up and paced the room. The aquatic sounds spilling down the rock wall made him feel like a shark trapped in a giant aquarium preying on vulnerable fish. He wanted to open his jaws and snap down on Dr. Theodore Von Langley.

After all of these years searching for Katie, he never imagined something this awful could have happened to her. Derrick ran his hands through his hair and then scrubbed them down his face. He hadn’t allowed himself to believe she had suffered at the hands of some monster after she ran away from home. No matter what cases the news media had presented in the tabloids or on TV about exploited or missing children, he would not let his mind go there with his own sister. He had believed she was alive and that he would find her some day, and his family would be reunited. His false reality had been shattered, and although he considered himself a calm and rational man, the urge to go over to the Von Langley estate and rip Dr. Theodore Von Langley from limb to limb seemed like the only way he would achieve satisfaction. But the man deserved much more than that, and Derrick would work through the fullest extent of the law to make sure the world knew about Dr. Von Langley’s corruption.

“Do you know if Sparrow’s testimony about her repressed memories would hold up in court?”

“It’s happened in the past, but each case is different. From what I’ve seen, you’ll need evidence to charge him with a crime, and then her testimony might be admissible in a court of law.” She paused and then continued, anticipating his next question, “I’ve been called into court as an expert witness in the past.”

Derrick dropped back down into the massage chair. The balls and rollers instantly came on, but the kneading motion only made him tense more. He rolled his head on his shoulders and then directed his eyes at Sparrow. “Ready to go?”

His head snapped when Violet interjected, “Sparrow, do you have any questions for me?”

“I don’t think so.” She pressed the palms of her hands against the arms of the chair and rose. “If I think of anything, may I call you?”

“Sure.”

Violet and Derrick stood at the same time. He extended his hand to her. “Thank you for all of your time. We’ll be in touch.”

Violet touched a rock on the wall and the locked door clicked open. Sparrow grabbed her purse then looked over her shoulder and smiled back at Violet before the door closed behind her. “Thank you.”

They walked to his car in silence. He held the door open for her. She slumped down into the bucket seat. Derrick’s mind raced back and forth from wanting to go directly to the Von Langleys to contacting Detective Tony Sargent. He didn’t know which way to turn first. He eased his foot on the accelerator and made the decision to go to Sparrow’s.

They needed to sort through this mess and collect sufficient evidence to put her father behind bars.

Derrick made a sharp turn for the exit ramp. The tires squealed. He swerved to avoid hitting another car exiting the freeway. The other car’s horn blared, and Derrick tapped the brakes in a knee-jerk reaction.

“Hold on.”

His arm flung across the front of Sparrow’s chest. His foot tramped down on the accelerator to avoid the other driver. She lurched forward, but the seatbelt snapped tightly into place, preventing her from hitting the dash.

“Derrick, you’re scaring me. Slow down.”

“I left Angel with your father.” His foot eased off the accelerator. “What if he’s done something to her?”

“First of all,
we
left Angel with my father. He’s not going to do something knowing we’ll be back for her. Right?”

His hands gripped the leather steering wheel. He zipped around traffic. “How should I know? He might say she took off.”

He fumbled for his cell phone in the console and dialed the Von Langleys. “Put Angel on the phone, now.” Damn, he didn’t even know who had answered the phone when he demanded Angel get on the line.

“Excuse me, is this Derrick?” Dr. Von Langley’s baritone voice sent a hot, angry flash through his body. His blood pressure soared to stroke levels. He clenched his jaw.

“Yes, sir, my apology, I’m in a bit of a rush. You know how it is?” Derrick replied, trying to smooth over his abrupt demand.

“Angel, Dr. Sloan would like to speak with you. Pick up the phone in the library, please.”

“Hi, doc, wassup?” she asked, smacking gum in his ear.

Derrick waited to hear the click of Dr. Von Langley hanging up the other line. It didn’t happen. “How’s the ankle? You must be feeling better by now. About ready to go…home?” he asked, knowing damn well the only home she had waiting for her was living on the streets with Sly.

“Umm. Well, it hurts a little. Maybe I should wait a day or two?”

In a day or two you might be dead.
“Let’s make a decision after I come by and examine it myself.”

“Okay. You’re coming now?”

“Soon. Is everything okay?”

She loudly chewed the wad of gum, smacking, blowing loudly, and popping bubbles in his ear.

“Yeah, sure. I miss Sly, that’s all. Have you seen him?”

“Yes. He got cut in a knife fight, but he’s okay. I got him all patched up.”

“What? You sure he’s okay?” Snap, pop. Her gum chewing got louder.

“He’s fine. It’s just a flesh wound.”

“You better go check on him. Find him.” Derrick heard the faint click of the phone line. Dr. Von Langley had been listening and hung up. “Find him,” Angel pleaded again.

She slammed the phone down in his ear. He ended the call and tossed the phone onto the console. Something about the sound of Angel’s voice concerned him. He couldn’t be in two places at once, and he couldn’t risk raising Dr. Von Langley’s suspicion if he went over there and insisted Angel leave with him. His hand brushed against Sparrow’s legs. She flinched. He blew out his breath. She had no reason to fear him. Couldn’t she understand he was upset? He reached for the latch on the glove compartment and pulled it open.

“Do you know how to load a gun?” he asked her.

Her hands trembled in her lap. The poison ring filled with his sister’s blood ignited his fury to end her father.

“I-I’ve never handled a gun.”

“Never mind. I’ll take care of it when we get to your house. I’ve changed my mind about going to your parents. We need to go to your place first. I’ve got to pull myself together, and we need to gather enough evidence to convict your father.”

“Derrick, please slow down. You’re driving like a lunatic, and quite frankly I don’t appreciate you risking my life.”

Stupidity never got him anywhere before, and he wasn’t going to start operating that way now. “I have a permit for the gun.” He didn’t even know why he mentioned it other than the frightened look on Sparrow’s face and her wide eyes staring at him like he was some heartless killer.

“I saw the gun the night we rescued Angel. I assumed you carry it to protect yourself from the potential violence you might encounter on any given night?”

“Right.” He’d go with her logic, knowing he also carried the gun in case he found Katie and had to pull her out of a threatening situation. Her life was no longer in danger, but he felt trigger-happy more than ever.

“Derrick, I won’t pretend to understand how you feel, but taking a gun into my father’s house is not the answer. What if a confrontation ensues and you accidently shoot him or me, or anyone that might be in the line of fire? I think that under the circumstances, the police could charge
you
with premeditated murder.”

“Right.”

“Besides”—she paused—“my visions don’t quite add up for me.”

He squealed off the exit ramp and zoomed toward her home. “Explain.”

“I told you and Violet when I had the vision of Katie I was practicing a mantra, but I couldn’t even focus on a simple Om. I looked at your sister, and I kept thinking,
You know what you must do
—the same thing happened the night I had the vision of Dana and he took his life. And now he’s dead. It’s my fault.”

His jaw ticked as he listened to her excuses in an attempt to protect her father. Was she in denial or covering up for him? He pulled into a parking space in front of her house. “Let’s talk inside.”

The door closed behind them and Derrick headed straight toward the box of magazine articles, yanking one from the top. He flopped down on her couch and leafed through the magazine. “Tell me why you think you had anything to do with Dana’s death?”

She sat next to him and grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to stop flipping pages. He turned to face her, admiring the honesty and strength in her green eyes.

“You don’t understand. The night Dana died I wanted to help him. I wanted to reach out and make him stop. I wanted to tell him he had so much to live for, but all I could think about were the times he’d hurt me, and when he fastened that noose…” Her voice hitched. He wasn’t going to like what she was about to say. “I looked him straight in the eyes and I felt like our brains connected and I kept repeating, ‘You know what you must do,’ over and over and over. I tried to stop from thinking it, but I couldn’t.”

Her breathing grew labored. He didn’t like what she had told him. He didn’t want to hear any more. Hurt shone in her eyes, but he couldn’t offer her comfort. She stared at him teary-eyed. He couldn’t find the right words. What did she expect him to say? He waited for her to continue.

“I wanted him dead.”

She clasped her hands around her face and buried herself against the side of his body. He forced her up, gently shaking her shoulders. Her body tensed. Shock spread across her face. She pushed his hands off her and then crossed her arms in front of her chest to keep him at bay.

“No, you didn’t. You didn’t cause Dana’s death or my sister’s. You didn’t do any of this. I don’t believe you.”

“You need to believe me because I’m telling you the truth. It’s a possibility we have to consider.”

“No. Your dad is behind all of this, and I’m going to prove it. He fucked with your head, and if you think for one minute I’m going to sit here and listen to you blame yourself, you’re wrong. What happened to you is like when you have a bad dream and then you wake up and realize you didn’t do anything wrong. It was just a dream. We’ll prove the state of deep meditation allowed you to have the visions, and that your repressed anger over the hell Dana put you through made you think you had caused his death. It’s like when you get so upset with someone and think,
I could kill him
. You don’t really mean it. We’ll prove your dad is the cause of all of this.”

“But…but what if it is my fault? You’re protecting me. Why are you trying so hard to convict my father?”

He cupped her face and stared into her eyes.

“Because you can’t do this alone, and I love you.”

Damn. How could he have blurted that out to her for the first time in this dire situation? You don’t tell the woman you love that you love her when her world is collapsing around her, and you’re going to put her father behind bars.

She blinked her eyes and shook her head. “You love me?”

He caressed her cheek with his thumb. “Yeah, it’s not how I planned to tell you, but I’ve known for some time.”

“Me too. I mean, I love you.”

“Then let me help you, baby. We have to prove to a jury that your repressed memories really happened and that this isn’t a daughter seeking revenge against her father for crimes she committed. Violet’s testimony could help. She can explain how when you meditated your repressed memories started to emerge, and that’s when the visions started. Sparrow, I know this is hard for you to accept, but your dad used techniques to condition you to forget things. What’s happening to your mind now is not your fault. Your memory is starting to come back. You’re accessing it through the meditation.”

She unfolded her arms and hugged him. “When I was at Dana’s funeral I kept thinking that I should go to the authorities and tell them my brain had been hijacked and that I didn’t mean to kill him. That something happened in my head, and I was able to see Dana the night he killed himself, but I couldn’t stop him.”

He leaned back and placed his hands on the tops of her shoulders. Shock stung his face and bewilderment filled his eyes. “You’re telling me that you knew about this then and didn’t tell me?”

“Derrick, please, you’ve got to understand. I was afraid to tell you more about the vision I had of Dana. Last night, after finding out I have some connection to your sister, I felt like I’d heaped so much damage on you already. Can you imagine how crazy I would have sounded? And then, after you found me disoriented on the beach, I was afraid you’d take me to the hospital for a psych eval. I thought after we met with Violet that things would make more sense. That you would understand.”

Derrick released her and scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m trying. Why were you so apprehensive about going to the hospital?”

“My father took me to Our Lady of Sorrow with him to visit patients in the psych ward. I’ll never forget the sounds I heard or the things I saw. It was beyond disturbing.”

“Why did he bring you there?”

She settled back and crossed one leg over the other, resting her arms against her thighs. She let out a deep breath, and he could tell from the light illuminating her eyes she had remembered something. “He told me that this is where the bad kids go that didn’t listen to him. He would say, ‘You don’t want to end up here, do you?’ He scared me to death.”

Derrick reached out and held her hand. “Baby, he was manipulating you.”

“Maybe, but isn’t all of this my word against his?”

“Not if we can find enough evidence. I’m convinced Dana knew something about your father. I know this isn’t easy for you, but we’ve got to read these flagged magazine articles and his journal. And then we’ve got to call Tony and get the authorities involved.”

She uncrossed her legs and stretched her arms above her head. She inhaled, expanding her chest. Her head craned back toward the ceiling then forward, sagging toward her chest. She dropped her hands back down at her sides in defeat. She looked up at him. Truth slowly seeped in, and in those brief moments her distraught eyes shot an arrow of pain, stabbing his heart. He hated that he had dealt her that hurtful hand. She held all the cards. He had pushed her for her help and ultimately for her testimony in court against her father.

“Come here,” he said, and pulled her close to him. He pressed her head against his chest and buried his nose into her hair. “We’ll get through this.”

She straightened and rubbed her hand over his unshaven face.

“Either way, we have to get to the truth. We owe it to Dana and your sister, and God only knows if there are others. There’s just one thing that bothers me.”

“What’s that?”

“How did your sister’s charm end up in this box?”

The pad of her thumb ran along his cheek. Her sincerity told him she was ready to put the remaining pieces of her past together. She rested her face against his chest and tucked her head underneath his chin again.

“I think Dana and my sister knew each other because they were both patients of your dad’s. When we lived in Crystal Cove, my sister was a kid. Dana rarely dropped by my folks’ house. He was always anti-parents, so I’d meet him out most of the time. Dana probably wouldn’t have recognized her after she ran away. She had matured quite a bit by then.”

She didn’t answer him. Derrick understood she needed time to absorb all of the information she had been bombarded with, and the recovered memories emerging from her session with Violet Crosby. He continued consoling her.

They both needed this moment before they forged ahead. His mind had been on overdrive after they left her hypnotherapy session, and his rage against her father had prevented him from grieving the loss of his sister. She was gone. He wouldn’t be looking for her around every dreadful corner and dark corridor when he was out in the Mobile Health Clinic RV. The hole in his being expanded, and the only person who could have filled the void was Katie. A tear slid from his eye, landing on the top of Sparrow’s head. She ran an affectionate hand down the length of his back. Sympathy sprang from her soft touch.