Mind Games (Games Thriller Series) (29 page)

“Oh, Ty. Emily was enough; you didn’t have to do this.”

“Do me a favor, please start calling me Chris. He was always the best part of me anyway.”

Jessica crossed the lawn standing at the edge of the wooden dock. Sun glinted off the water as she scanned the expanse of the lake and Mount Ossipee in the distance. She stepped onto the faded boards and the wood creaked with each step as she crossed to the edge and looked down into the crystal clear water. She glanced back at him. “I learned to swim off this dock. My dad made us swim from the dock to the beach before we could swim out to the rocks.” She pointed to the center of the cove. “You can’t drive a boat through; you have to go around the buoys because this area has a chain of rocks just under the surface.”

Chris looked down in the water at the end of the dock. “How deep is this?”

Jessica tilted her head and gave Chris the once over, going from memory she said, “probably over your head.”

He raised his eyebrows. “It’s so clear.”

“It’s clear out at the buoy too.”

Chris looked at the crescent shaped beach and the rocky point with the gazebo in the center and smiled. “I can understand why you love this place,” he said and she led him to the small house and used the key to open it.

“Oh my God!” Jessica said and glanced around the little pine living room. “They didn’t change a thing.” She opened the bedroom doors and looked in. Both still had pairs of double beds. She closed her eyes and inhaled, the sweet smell of pine drifted all around her. She led him through the tiny galley kitchen and out the back door where the double plank boardwalk started, leading to the beach and the gazebo beyond. She slipped off her flip-flops and stepped onto the sand, the tiny grains filtering through her toes as she walked to the shoreline. The water was cold on her toes, not as bad as the ocean in Maine, but cold just the same. She laughed aloud as she spread her arms out, twirling with her face tilted toward the clear blue sky.

* * * *

Chris’s smile faded. Letting her go seemed an impossible feat; the beauty of the surroundings was nothing compared to the image of her twirling on the beach. He closed his eyes and looked away, pushing his feelings back into the well of his soul. She would never choose him, even with this. Chris inhaled and shoved his hands into his pockets, returning his gaze back to her.

“Sunset point,” she said as they walked up to the gazebo. Jessica climbed over the railing and stood in the small tidal pool surrounded by a cluster of rocks, including those that the gazebo was built on. She looked up grinning just like a child and she crouched, picking up a rock and grabbing a small crawfish. Holding her prize up for him to see, she laughed. “We used to spend hours in here terrorizing these things when we were little.” She put the crawfish back in the water and climbed onto the far rocks.

Chris climbed down and took a seat next to her.

“I can’t accept this.”

“It’s already done
, Jess,” he said. “The deed is in your name.”

“I never asked you to do this for me.” She stood, climbing her way back and headed up the path without him.

Chris caught up with her. “I know you didn’t. I wanted to do this.”

She stopped on the front lawn. “Just so we get this straight, you can’t buy me.”

“I never presumed I could. Besides, you wanted me long before I had money.” He leaned in planting a gentle kiss on her lips. “You wanted me even with the things I did.” He kissed her again, deeper and more insistent. Suddenly, he pulled away, stepping back before he did something he couldn’t recover from. He turned and walked to the dock, sitting down on the steps to get his composure back.

Jessica followed and sat next to him. She took his hand in hers and kissed it. “Yes, I wanted you long before the money, so you don’t need to throw it around to impress me.”

The realtor pulled up, interrupting the conversation and Chris stood. “Wait here.”

Jessica turned, watching him scribble his name on the papers where the realtor pointed and soon he trotted back and took the seat next to her again.

“You chose Tom over me on Monday,” he said and took a deep breath. “Is that what you really want?”

“Is that what this is all about?”

“No. I did this because I wanted to. Now answer my question.”

Jessica looked out over the lake and back at him. “Right now I don’t know what I want.”

“Then why did you come by this morning?”

“I needed a friend. And you’re it,” she said without looking at him.

He held her hand quietly. “I can’t just be your friend, Jess,” he said. “I’m not sure I can let you go if he comes back. I don’t know if I can walk away again.”

Jessica nodded and inhaled deeply, unclasping her hand from his. “I love you both,” she said. “He made me feel safe when I didn’t think I would ever feel that way again.”

Chris studied his hands.

“Then there’s you,” she sighed. “You’re like an electrical current, a living
, breathing danger zone that I can’t stay away from, no matter how hard I try. I always figured we’d run into each other again someday and the dreams, well, they just kept reinforcing it.”

“The last five years was just as hard for me as it was for you.” She let that settle between them before she continued. “I’ve never been able to let go and Tom knew it.” She took a deep breath. “He’s not coming back
, Chris.”

“You don’t know that.”

“You didn’t see his face.”

“What if he does come back, what will you do then?”

Jessica shrugged and glanced in his direction. “I don’t know. But I’m still his wife.”

End of conversation
. Chris stood up. “You ready?”

She nodded. “Sure you don’t want me to drive?” she asked, breaking the tension.

He broke out in a smile. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

He opened the car door for her. “I want to get home in one piece.”

“Wus.”

He pulled out onto R
oute 4 toward Maine and “Calling All Angels” piped from the radio. They exchanged a glance.

“Did you ever get the significance of why I picked this song?”

“It gave you hope.” He smiled a little and started singing to the music.

He hit
the nail on the head and she twitched in the passenger seat.

“Don’t look so shocked,” he said between lyrics.

His voice melted her just as much as his touch did and she sighed, closing her eyes, Eric’s words echoing in her head.
You’re the only one who could save him from himself.

Her thoughts echoed in his mind. “You are.”

“Hmmm?” she replied, opening her eyes.

“Nothing.” He continued singing softly to the songs on the radio.

The only sound for miles was the soft lull of his voice singing to the radio and she drifted into a state somewhere between awake and sleep, totally relaxed with the sun beating down on her face.

“You have no idea how much I need you,” he whispered.

“Yes I do,” she whispered back without opening her eyes.

“Shit, I thought you were sleeping.”

She opened her eyes, glancing in his direction and sat up at the sight of his crimson cheeks.

“My
God, you’re blushing,” she said and started to laugh.

“You weren’t actually supposed to hear that.”

“Why not?”

He looked over and sighed. “Because.”

She waited, looking at him expectantly.

“Jesus, Jess!”

“I’m waiting”

“Because, I’m trying like hell to keep some distance.”

“Why?”

“Because if I let you in all the way, you could completely destroy me, all right?” His voice rose above the music and he glared at her. “And I have absolutely no control over this.”

“Welcome to my world.”

He pulled the car over on the side of the road and threw it in neutral, ripping the emergency brake in place. He stormed out of the car and leaned on the trunk fighting for internal control. Her car door opened. “Don’t
, Jess.” he warned over his shoulder.

Jessica didn’t heed his warning. She walked to the back of the car and leaned against it next to him.

“When Tom comes back, I lose,” he said. “I never lose,” he repeated and looked down at her. “Ever.” His eyes blazed and he pulled her close, crushing her lips under his. He let her go just a quickly and stormed around the car and into the driver’s seat.

She tentatively slipped back into the passenger seat.

He waited until she buckled her seat belt and then floored the car, sending gravel a hundred feet behind them. He shifted the car quickly and pressed the gas pedal down, achieving zero to sixty in a few seconds, trying to outrun what he was feeling.

“Chris.”

He didn’t look at her; he just drove, paralleling her speed earlier. He slid into a restaurant that he had seen on the way up and threw the car in 1st gear and shut the engine. “I’m hungry,” he announced moodily and got out of the car. He walked around and opened her door. “You coming?”

“Only if you cut the attitude.”

He looked down at her. “I can’t,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Huh?”

“If I do, I will end up ripping your clothes off and taking you right here.”

She took a closer look, recognizing the insane need in his eyes. She got out of the car slowly and started walking toward the entrance of the restaurant and turned to him quickly, making him bump into her. “Cut the attitude,” she demanded and then turned back. His hands descend
ed onto her shoulders.

“You don’t want that,” he whispered in her ear. “Because if you let me sleep with you again, I will make sure Tom can never come back.”

Jessica’s eyes went wide and she stopped in her tracks, turning slowly. “Oh no you didn’t.”

Chris held her gaze but didn’t say anything.

“Uh-uh.” She shook her head. “You do not get to threaten him.” She held her hand out. “Keys.”

Chris blinked but stood his ground. “If you sleep with me again, there is no going back,” he growled low in his throat. “I won’t let it happen and if that means taking him out, so be it.”

“Give me the keys! Now!”

“No. I’m hungry, I’m going in to eat.”

They stood in the middle of the parking lot glaring at each other, oblivious to the cars driving in and out around them.

“
Then I’ll walk,” she said and stormed out to the road, walking in the direction they were originally headed.

Chris watched her stomp off. He put his hands on his hips and looked down at the pavement and then back at her, taking a deep breath. “Shit.” He trotted after her. When he caught up to her, he put his hand on her shoulder. “Stop.”

“Why should I?” She tore her shoulder out of his grasp.

“Because I’m an idiot and it’s too far for you to walk.”

Jessica slowed down and stopped but didn’t turn around yet.

“I’m sorry. It’s just hard, okay?”

“It’s not okay,” she said, the bite of anger no longer reflected in her voice. “It’s not okay at all.” Tears made tracks down her cheeks.

“Damn it,” Chris whispered. He turned slightly away to get his composure back. “I know it’s not okay.” He turned back to her. “I just don’t know what else to do.” He reached out and brushed a hair from her face. “You already have me wrapped around your little finger.” He smiled a little and looked sheepishly down at the ground. “But as I said in New York, if we do that again, I won’t let you go, and I’m not sure you really understand what that means.”

“Enlighten me,” she said, wiping the tears away.

“He’s going to come back, Jess.” He looked at her. “Sooner or later, he is going to want you back and you’re going to go.” He sighed, intently staring her down.

“We both know I don’t fight fair, not where you’re concerned, so do you really want me fighting for you?” He drew a long breath at the look on her face. “I still have some restraint where you’re concerned, but if we end up in bed again, that will fly right out the window. It’s bad enough now...” he trailed off and looked up the road. “Maybe I will be okay when Tom comes back and you go with him, but I’m not even sure of that.”

“He’s not coming back and even if he did, you don’t know what I’ll do,” Jessica said. “I don’t even know what I want right now.”

“But as you said earlier, you’re his wife.”

“Yes I am. But I’m not sure that’s where I belong. If I was truly happy with Tom, I would never have allowed myself to be with you.” She looked away wondering if what Tom had said to her as she left the hotel was true. “Even though it was inevitable, it still hurts like hell that he left.” She started walking back to the restaurant.

“Do you want to grab lunch or head home?” he asked as they walked through the parking lot.

“I’m hungry too so lunch sounds good. What time is it anyway?”

Chris looked at his watch. “Almost two.”

“The only thing I’ve got going today is the show tonight. It’s the one with the kids in it and I want to tape it.”