Mine To Take (Nine Circles) (13 page)

What she knew about her father was that he’d killed himself after his gambling debts had finally caught up with him. Debts he’d incurred from a casino in Vegas that were in all likelihood attempts to finance a burgeoning addiction to cocaine.

An addiction that he’d kept secret, along with those debts, right up until his death.

But it seemed that her father had even more secrets than anyone had guessed. He hadn’t been in Vegas after all, but New York. And he’d used Alex to count cards …

She’d been eight when her father had died. A shot to the temple from a pistol in his desk. Her mother had found him and the sight of her beloved husband in a pool of blood had sent her straight to the bottle. In the middle of a binge, she’d once told Honor her father had killed himself because Alex had left. A small part of her had always blamed her brother for that and yet it seemed there was more to that story, too.

Daniel St. James had taken his son into an underground casino to count cards. A boy of sixteen. Was that why he’d left?

Shock moved through her in a slow, cold wave, her hands trembling as she fumbled with her gloves.

The circumstances around her father’s death and the revelation of his gambling debts had shattered the family. But she’d never dreamed that there would be more.

Secrets. God, how she
hated
secrets.

The crunch of snow beneath heavy boots. “Are you okay?”

She looked up to meet Gabriel’s dark eyes, his gaze sharp and focused, making her feel exposed. Vulnerable.

“Yes,” she said, nearly dropping one of her gloves. “I’m fine.” A total lie.

“No, you’re not.” He reached out unexpectedly, taking her hands in his. And her breath caught at the touch.

“Don’t,” she said thickly, trying to pull away.

But he only held her tighter, his large warm hands wrapped around hers. “Your fingers are freezing. Putting them into gloves like that is a mistake. Give them a minute to warm up.”

A fizzing, tingling sensation was moving over her skin, up her arm, down through her body. Like she was touching an electric fence. Great, this was all she needed. In addition to the shock, she now had to cope with her physical response to him.

She took a breath, keeping her gaze on his hands holding hers. His fingers were long and blunt, white scars crisscrossing them. There were other scars on the backs of his hands, long cuts and round circles. For some reason, despite the crap he’d just dumped on her, all she could think about were those scars and the faint, tantalizing roughness of his fingers against her skin. The hands of a workingman, not a desk jockey.

He’d had a difficult childhood, too, or so he’d told her. And the “club” must refer to the motorcycle gang he’d been part of. Had he gotten those scars at that time?

Why the hell are you thinking about him? When he’s basically blown apart everything you knew about your family?

God, she had to handle this, not go to pieces. She wasn’t her mother, helpless and weeping on the couch, consoling herself with drink. Nor was she her father, who’d chosen suicide rather than face the reality of his actions.

No, she had to stay in control and think things through logically, like she did at work. More information was clearly needed.

Honor pulled her hands away and he let her go this time. “Tell me what you know about Alex,” she said harshly. “All of it.”

The look on his face was cool, impersonal and for some reason, that helped. Sympathy would have undone her. “There’s not much more to tell. One night I found Alex sitting on the sidewalk outside the casino with blood all over his face. He wouldn’t tell me what happened, but he asked if he could come back to my place because he didn’t want to go home. So I let him.”

“Did he say why? Did he say anything about coming back?”

“No. He never mentioned his family at all.”

“What about my father? How did he get involved with this?”

“I don’t know. I just saw him go in about once a week and sometimes he’d be there on the weekends, too. Like I said, the club did security and we weren’t allowed inside so I don’t know what went on.”

“But what about the casino?”

“What about it? The Lucky Seven is just about an institution. A place for rich assholes to buy whatever the hell they want, not just for gambling.”

“Drugs?”

Gabriel’s gaze was steady. “Anything, Honor.”

The cold settled down inside her and stayed there. What had been missing from her father’s life that he’d put at risk his high-powered job and his family purely to chase a high? Why hadn’t he been stronger? Why hadn’t he resisted? And why, for the love of all that was holy, had he brought Alex into it?

She didn’t remember much about Daniel St. James, only that he’d always seemed to prefer his son to her and that Alex had idolized him. Yet he’d let something happen to Alex at that casino and from what Gabriel had just told her, it had been something awful. Then he’d killed himself.

She looked away, feeling even colder. There would never be any answers to those questions because the only person who could answer them was dead. And as for Alex …

“He doesn’t want to talk to me, does he?” she asked quietly, staring at the snow.

Gabriel didn’t ask who she meant; he knew. “No.”

A brief silence fell.

“I’m sorry,” Gabriel said at last.

Damn him. She hated how he seemed to be able to read her so easily. “Another apology, Mr. Woolf? What
is
the world coming to?”

“If it’s any consolation, I made Alex contact your mom after your father died. To at least let her know he was alive.”

“No, that’s not any consolation.” How could it be when he’d refused to come back even then?

Honor took a deep breath, anger beginning to burn through the shock. An anger she’d thought she’d long put behind her. “I think I’ve had enough revelations for one day. Can we go now, please?”

As soon as they got back, Gabriel dropped her off near their cottage and went to park the bike. She didn’t bother to change, merely slipping out of the jacket once she was inside, then picking up her phone and dialing her mother’s cell.

“Darling,” Elizabeth St. James said warmly. “How’s Vermont?”

“Cold.” She hesitated. “Mom, what do you know about Daniel?” He would never be “Dad” to her, not after the way he’d left her.

There was a silence at the other end of the phone.

“What do you mean?” her mother asked eventually.

“I mean the gambling. What do you know about it?”

“Do we have to talk about this now?”

“Please, Mom.”

Her mother sighed. “I don’t know much of anything. I thought he was having an affair, with all those conference trips to Vegas.” Another pause. “What’s all this about, Honor? Why are you asking me this now?”

Honor stared out the window at the snow-covered trees and icy lake beyond. Her mother hadn’t read the coroner’s report and refused to believe her late husband had been taking drugs. But the gambling debts hadn’t been so easily dismissed. Had she known he’d been visiting an underground casino rather than going to Vegas? And that he’d taken Alex with him? Good question. Because if Elizabeth didn’t know then Honor couldn’t tell her. Her mother was a fragile woman, both physically and emotionally, and her husband’s death had taken her years and the very finest rehab Guy’s money could buy to recover from.

“Oh, I just heard a few things,” Honor said carefully. “There were rumors that … he wasn’t going to Vegas after all, but a casino in New York.”

“What?” There was puzzlement in her mother’s voice. “No, of course he wasn’t in New York. He was in the casinos in Vegas, that’s what the bank said.”

So, no, her mother didn’t know. Honor rubbed her brow tiredly. “Yes, well, that’s what I thought,” she said.

“Where did you hear these rumors? From whom?” Elizabeth asked.

Oh dammit. She shouldn’t have said anything. “They’re just rumors, Mom.”

“I need to tell Guy.” Her mother sounded upset. “I don’t want rumors going around about Daniel. This family has been through quite enough as it is.”

“Don’t worry,” Honor said, going into soothing mode. She couldn’t face upsetting her today. “Let me deal with it, okay? It’ll be fine.”

Her mother took an audible breath. “All right then, darling. But do let Guy know if it gets out of hand. You know how lies like that upset me.”

But were they lies? She hadn’t asked Gabriel whether what he’d told her was true or not, only taken it for granted that it was. Perhaps she needed to demand some proof.

At that moment she heard the cottage door shut and footsteps coming down the hall. A second later, Gabriel appeared, a tall, dark figure in black leather, filling the doorway.

What perfect timing.

“I will,” she said into the phone. “I have to go, Mom. Take care, okay?”

Ending the call, she laid the phone down carefully on a nearby side table then turned to face him. He said nothing, hitching his shoulder against the door frame, watching her in that disturbingly perceptive way of his.

“How do I know you’re telling the truth about my father?” she asked abruptly, breaking the thick silence.

“Why would I lie?”

“For any number of reasons, I should imagine.” She folded her arms. “I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could throw you.”

“That’s your prerogative, I guess. But hey, you don’t have to take my word for it. If you want proof why don’t you give your brother a call? I’ve got his number.”

“You said he doesn’t want to speak to me.”

“He doesn’t. Good luck with getting him to answer.”

The anger simmering in her gut froze solid, her throat closing. Once, years ago, she’d found out Alex’s number and given him a call. He’d never answered and never responded to the message she’d left. She hadn’t tried again.

Hating the knowing look in Gabriel’s eyes, she turned away. He knew she wouldn’t call him and she hated that he knew. She wasn’t a coward, but the hurt her brother’s silence had caused went deep.

What would knowing the truth change anyway? Whatever happened with Alex and your father, it was a long time ago. You can’t fix it now.

No, she couldn’t. Which made it easy to deal with in many ways.

“Thanks, but I’ll pass,” she said, moderately pleased with how calm her voice sounded. “It doesn’t matter anyway since it all happened years ago.”

“Are you sure you don’t want his number?”

“Quite sure.” She found a chilly smile from somewhere. “I’ve got quite a few work calls to make and e-mails to check, so if you haven’t got anything else you need me for this afternoon…?”

Gabriel ignored the question. “You’re sure you’re okay? I know all that about your father was a hell of a thing to dump on you.”

“Why did you then?”

“You wanted to know how Alex and I met.”

“No, talking about Alex, period. You were the one who brought up the subject, not me.”

He was still leaning casually against the door frame, but the look on his face was anything but causal. There was a hard, almost calculating glint in his eyes. As if he was debating what to tell her.

“You did it on purpose, didn’t you?” she said suddenly, not sure how she knew, only that the glint in his eyes had warned her. “Why? And the ride … That wasn’t just a ‘let’s get out into the fresh air’ thing, was it?”

He didn’t move. “What makes you say that?”

A burst of adrenaline shot through her. He was playing with her. Like he’d done from the beginning, because that’s what he was. A game player. “There wasn’t any reason for you to bring my brother up. Or tell me about my father, but you did.”

“I thought you’d want to know.”

“Really, Mr. Woolf? Or was it because you’re involving me in another one of your games?”

He raised a brow. “Games?”

“Don’t be so disingenuous. It doesn’t suit you.”

A thick, heavy silence fell.

Gabriel smiled. A slow-burning, wicked smile. “You’re a smart woman, Honor St. James. Too smart maybe.”

She took a silent breath. “You bastard.”

He didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed of himself. “You’re right, I am a bastard. And you should never make the mistake of thinking otherwise.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.” The low-level anger that had been there ever since he’d told her about Alex and her father began to boil. Yet something else was there, too. That heady, illicit thrill. She’d seen through him and now she was certain the gloves were going to come off. Part of her was … excited by the thought. “You must want something from me pretty badly to use information about my brother against me.”

“Let’s be clear. I didn’t use it against you. I mentioned Alex because I thought you needed to know. But sure, the ride itself wasn’t purely out of the goodness of my heart.”

“Oh?”

“No. I wanted to go riding with you so I could have that fucking hot little body of yours up against mine on the back of the bike.”

She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry.

The look in his eyes glinted. “Don’t look so surprised. I’ve always been up-front about what I wanted from you.”

He had. Brutally so, in fact.

Dangerous. So dangerous.

Yes, and she should be telling him where to go. Or at least packing everything up and leaving him here. But she couldn’t. There was this investment hanging over her head still and besides, leaving would be tantamount to letting him win.

What happened to going with the flow?

No, she wasn’t supposed to be fighting him, giving in to the burn of excitement that matching wits with him gave her. But then she couldn’t allow him to get the upper hand either. Because once he had it, she’d never get it back.

So how to handle him? She could be ruthless when she chose to—hell, you didn’t get to have your own investment firm by being a pushover, after all—and no one could ever accuse her of being weak. She couldn’t afford to be.

You know how …

A small electric thrill shot down her spine, mixed with a healthy dose of trepidation. Oh yes, she knew. She’d always sworn to herself she’d never use
that
particular weapon, certainly not when it came to business. And not only that, it would be a temptation that would push her own control to the limit.