Mirror: Book One of the Valkanas Clan (5 page)

I must have drifted into sleep without realizing it, because when I opened my eyes it was dark out, and I was ravenous. I scrounged through my kitchen, but everything I took a bite of was just like the banana—tasteless texture I could barely swallow that did nothing to alleviate my hunger. I was standing in front of my open pantry, staring sadly at some of my favorite foods, when I heard a door open and close above me, followed by the sound of my neighbor’s steps on the stairs—and then I could smell her, and my mouth began to water, my feet sliding toward the door without any conscious thought on my part. I didn’t even notice I had moved until I felt the cool metal of the door knob inside my hand. I froze, locking my joints against the force that screamed through me, trying to open the door.  Her heartbeat sounded like thunder as she walked by my landing and my knees almost buckled. I didn’t move an inch until I heard her car pull out of the lot below, and then I sagged against the door.

“Impressive self-restraint.
Thanks for sparing me the effort.”

 
“
Damnit
, Tom.” I instantly recognized his voice this time, and I was angry at myself for not noticing him sooner “I liked you much better when I thought you were just a dutiful military man who would be a positive influence on my class.”

 
He laughed. “I’d wondered what your first impressions of me would be.”

 
“What do you mean, ‘would be’? Did you pick my class for a particular reason?”

 
“No.” His jaw clenched. 

 
“You’re a terrible liar, Tom.”

 
“As are you. ‘
He’s an EMT and his apartment was around the corner,’” he trilled in a mocking falsetto. “A five year old could have come up with a better explanation than that. What happens if she discovers I actually live seven miles from campus?”

 
My face went cold, then hot. “What right do you have listening to my private phone calls?”

“Plenty.
I made you.”

“What in the
hell
is that supposed to mean?” My voice was climbing, reaching decibels sure to disturb my neighbors if I didn’t calm down. I clenched my fists, trying to remember how to be calm, rational.

“That it’s my responsibility to make sure you can control yourself, and don’t expose us. There are rules.”

His voice was calm now, relaxing, and I could feel my fists slowly uncurling. Then it dawned on me that he was imposing his wishes onto me, like I had probably just done to Ava. I clenched my fists again, pushing back the urge to simply accept what he was saying and change the topic to a more pleasant conversation. After a few seconds, I noticed his fingers were curling too, his knuckles whitening.

“You’re stronger than we’d expected,” he said quietly.

“We?”
I shoved all my will into that question, trying to duplicate what I had accidentally done with Ava.
You will answer me, you will answer me
, I repeated silently, glaring at him.

“Damian and Valerie, of course—” He looked shocked, and then literally bit his tongue and shook his head. “Now that was interesting. I’ve never had a newborn turn my will back on me like that before. I won’t hear the end of it from Damian, I’m sure.” Something shifted in his tone, and his gaze changed from the kind of patronizing look someone might give a sullen teenager to one of cautious respect.

“
Tell me what you’re talking about
.” My voice was solid ice, and I was sweating from focusing so hard on trying to make my question impossible to avoid.

“Sorry, once bitten...” He laughed. “You won’t be able to force me again, or at least not without a few years more practice.” He laughed abruptly. “Though I will be entertained to see how Damian reacts to you. Maybe I’ll wait to tell them.” He paused. “I’m sorry, I’m being rude. I haven’t turned anyone in two decades, and I—”
  he
stopped, and his smile disappeared. “Anyway, that’s beside the point. I’m sorry, truly.”

I glared at him, unwilling to let him off the hook so easily. For all I knew he was a talented actor and was trying to sway me with some feigned mysterious tragedy since his willpower alone couldn't do it.

“Here, I brought you something to eat,” he said.

My stomach lurched, at first with hunger and then, as it dawned on me what “something to eat” might
mean,
disgust.

“I’m a vegetarian,” I muttered, embarrassed to find myself looking away.

He smiled,
then
reached his hand out to turn my face back towards his. His hand was cool and calloused, but his grip was gentle. Startled, it took me a moment before I jerked away.

“Why were you a vegetarian?” he asked.

“Please don’t use the past tense.”

“Okay,” he grinned, “why
are
you a vegetarian?”

“Because the thought of killing animals for the sake of my taste buds seemed wrong to me as a child—it still does.”

“What about killing plants?”

I shrugged. “I guess it’s unavoidable sometimes, but with a lot of them you’re only taking a part of the plant, not killing it. Picking apples doesn’t kill an apple tree. Plus plants don’t seem to feel pain the way animals do.”

“Then you should be delighted with your new diet, because it won’t require you to kill or inflict pain at any time, on anything, plant or animal.”

I glared at him. “I
felt
my reaction to my neighbor walking downstairs—I could barely stop myself from barreling through the door to sink my teeth into her neck.” I paused. “I would have killed her.”

“That's our base instinct if we’re really hungry. I shouldn’t have let you go so long, but after you were able to resist my command to rest I wasn't sure how to approach you again. And I have to admit I was curious as to how you’d handle your first bloodlust. I apologize. But I never would have let you hurt her, if that’s any consolation.”

“So if that’s not how you feed, then…how?”

He pulled out a plastic pouch that was marked O-, and every muscle in me tensed when I realized it was blood.

“This is one way. Not the most enjoyable way, mind you, but it’s convenient if nothing else presents itself.”

He tossed me the package, and, without thinking, I stuck a corner in my mouth, heard a pop, and felt thick liquid begin to coat my tongue. I even swallowed a few times before my brain caught up and told me I should be gagging, not greedily sucking the package dry, but my body won out. The pint was drained within a few seconds, and I looked up at Tom, half-hating
myself
for how easily I’d swallowed the first bag—and half-hoping he’d brought more. He had, and slid a box full of them to me, resuming his explanation as I drank.

“The other way, of course, is straight from the tap, if you’ll excuse the metaphor. It's only  gruesome and painful if the vamp doesn’t know what he’s doing, or is a sadistic S.O.B., like the one you had the misfortune of coming across in the alley yesterday.”

“You were hunting that one.”

“That’s part of my job.
Or was, at least.
That might change now. Anyway, done right, a human will either feel nothing at all or will feel blissful—and afterwards, they’ll forget the experience entirely,” he said.

“If they forget it entirely, then why are vampires such persistent figures in various myths, legends, and modern novels? Where would people even get the idea from in the first place?”

He chuckled—again. Boy, I was just a constant source of amusement for him. It was starting to get on my nerves.

“Trust the professor to jump to questions with uncertain answers so quickly.”

“It’s hard to avoid years of training, and asking questions is how I deal with overwhelming situations,” I said.
“Well, that or freaking out.
I’m assuming you’d prefer this approach though.” I got up and retrieved the list of questions I’d been working on earlier that day, deciding I might as well ask him. “Here are my others for now. I’d appreciate anything you can answer.”

This garnered another laugh as he glanced down at my scribbled notes. When he saw my check mark next to “superhuman strength,” he said “ah, that would explain why your couch is upside down. I was wondering about that.”

His cell started ringing, and he tucked my list in his pocket as he answered. I quickly realized that my newly acute hearing easily allowed me to hear both sides of the conversation despite Tom having the volume on low.

“Yes,
sire
?” Tom said.

“Are you with Alyson now, Thomas?”

“Yes, she’s here with me. We’re at her apartment.”

“Good. Bring her here.”

Tom stiffened slightly, and shook his head almost imperceptibly.

“Damian, I don’t think that’s the best idea.” He glanced at me. “She’s not handling the change well just yet and I don’t wish to add any further shock to her system. And I…” he trailed off, looking uncomfortable. “Her abilities prevent her from being willed against her wishes.”

I glared at him. It seemed to me I was handling “the change” pretty damn well. I had yet to run screaming naked down the street yelping “stake me, stake me now!”
and
I’d managed not to suck the life out of anyone.

“Really?
How very interesting,” Damian said. “Still, it’s better for her to be here than there. Bring her now.”

I heard a click, and Tom listened to silence for a moment before closing his phone. He raised an eyebrow at me. “Well?”

“Well what?” I said, trying to decide whether my urge to meet this Damian or my urge to throw a hissy fit about being ordered around was greater.

“
Aly
, I know you heard every word Damian said. Will you come with me willingly?”

“Why'd you tell him I wasn’t handling the change well?”

“Actually, you’re handling it exceptionally well, given the circumstances. I just don’t think,” he paused and looked away, pulling his hand across his face. “It doesn’t matter. Will you come with me?”

“What happens if I say no?” I asked.

Tom sighed. “I’d rather not find out. You’ve already shown me that you can resist my will when you want to, so I’d have to bring you in by force. Please don’t put me in that position.”

I paused, trying to look thoughtful. I was hoping that if he thought I was going only as a favor to him it would make him more inclined to do me a favor down the line. “Alright, I’ll go. But I’m not calling anyone ‘sire’ or ‘milady’ or any crap like that.”

Tom laughed. “I’m sure Damian and Valerie will find that tremendously entertaining.”

Tom had an old but very well maintained open-air Jeep. When we pulled onto
Grinstead
Drive and began picking up speed, I was too overwhelmed by the rush of wind and night noises to even attempt conversation. I wondered if this was how dogs felt when they hung their heads out of car windows—with all the scents and sounds barreling into me, I felt like a cup being filled under Niagara Falls. I couldn’t hold on to any sensory impression for more than a split second before another one took over. Must-spice-pine-smoke, chirp-hoot-howl-laugh; I kept my eyes shut so I didn’t become completely overwhelmed by catching every detailed leaf edge or grass blade.

“My first car ride after my change was like that, too. It’s amazing, isn’t it?”

I could only nod my
head,
glad I wasn’t trying to drive like this.