Misguided Truths: Part One (8 page)

It’s been twelve days. Almost two hundred and eighty eight hours since I held her in my arms, for what I know now was for the very final time. 

For the past twelve nights, I haven’t been able to close my eyes once without seeing the images of her limp and pale body lying in my arms. She looked so scared, so afraid. And, then she was gone … forever.

I’ve been trying to convince myself that I’m trapped in some kinda nightmare, and at any given moment, I’ll wake up and be able to see her beautiful, smiling face within my reach again. That I’ll be able to hold her in my arms, hear her sweet laugh, and kiss her soft lips.

My world is no longer a bright and happy place. It’s dark, cold, and hollow.

The loneliness I’ve been feeling ever since that night, almost outweighs the emptiness that has taken over me from the inside out. No matter what happens in my life from here on out, whether I experience good times or bad, I don’t think that I’ll ever be abl
e to accept that she’s not gonna be here to share them with me. All of my dreams, hopes, and plans for the future disappeared at the very same moment when they told me she wasn’t ever coming back.

If I hadn’t let her talk me into playing the gig that night, then none of this would’ve happened. She’d still be here, not laying in some wooden box.

It all happened so fast.

She was standing right in front of me. Right by the stage when we were playing our set. I remember the way she smiled when I mouthed ‘I love you’ over to her during the bands last song. I turned away for only a few seconds, and then, I didn’t see her after that. I didn’t see her again until … until I got outside.

When the song ended, the rest of the guys headed over to grab a few sodas while I waited by the stage for her to come back. I thought that she’d maybe gone to use the bathroom, but when she didn’t show, I went looking for her.

The place was packed solid and I had to push my way through the crowd of people on my way out towards the back. I asked a group of girls who were standing outside the bathroom to check inside for her, and when they told me that there was no one else in there, I headed outside to call her.

Nothing could’ve prepared me for what happened next.

When I dialed her number, I heard her cell sounding out to my left. When I looked around, I realized it was coming from inside an alleyway, right beside the bar. It was dark, but the further I walked inside, the louder it got. And … and then I found her,

Right after the paramedics lifted her away from my unwilling arms, the cops arrived at the scene. I spent most of the night at the station while they took down a witness statement. The cops kept asking the same questions, over and over again.

“How long had the deceased been injecting heroin?”

“Why did she go outside?”

“Do you take drugs, Mr. Taylor?”

They’ve been treating her death like some kinda accidental overdose. Holly wasn’t a user. She wasn’t. I would’ve known if she was. She never, ever touched that shit.
Ever.

Facing Holly’s mom and dad the following day was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through in my entire fucking life. I thought they’d blame me for what happened. She was with me after all and I was supposed to be taking good care of her. But, they didn’t. They pulled me into their arms like I was their own son.
They
comforted
me
.

The only thing that’s been keeping me going is the hope of being with her again someday.

I’ve been watching the rain hitting the kitchen window ever since it began to fall at three o’clock this morning. Today is gonna be a hard day. At eleven o’clock, they’re burying my girlfriend. Rachael has offered to give me a ride over to Seattle for the funeral.

At first, I didn’t fully understand why the service and burial would be taking place there and not here in Olympia. But, Holly’s mom and dad had explained to me that all of their
deceased relatives have their headstones placed in the same cemetery. In Beck Hill. I guess it seems only right to keep their family together.

I pinch the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger of my left hand, while clutching the necklace with my right. You see, I can’t let Holly go, not while knowing that she’ll be all alone. I want her to take a part of me with her. I need her to know that I’ll always be with her and that she’ll always be with me.

The necklace I bought for her for our two month anniversary was a silver locket, and the very same one that I’m holding in my hand right now.

Yesterday was the first and only time I’ve been in Holly’s bedroom since the night before she died. Actually, yesterday is the only time I’ve managed to make it outside of my parent’s home since the day I arrived back from the police department.

I messaged Rachael early in the morning, and after telling her what I planned on doing, she invited me over there. When I got there, the necklace was still sitting in the gift box on her nightstand, right beside the picture frame holding a photograph of the two of us. It was taken when we went out for a walk one day a few weeks ago.

The sun was shining brightly, and I think
we must’ve walked around five miles in all. We’d walked hand in hand until we reached one of the quieter areas of the city, and sat down on the riverbank for hours. It’s one of my favorite photographs of the two of us together, and we both had a copy made.

I’ve placed the one that was in her room inside the locket and have decided that, when it gets to the time we have to say our final goodbyes, I’m gonna place it on top of the coffin, before they lower her down. That way, we’ll be together.
Always
.

A tapping sound on one of the windows over on the far end side of the kitchen brings me away from my thoughts. When I look over to see what’s going on, I see Rye and Neil pointing towards the main door for me to let them inside.

I rake a hand through my hair and stand, before heading over to unlock the door.

“Hey, man,
” Rye says with a small smile. “Listen, we just wanted to …” Before he finishes what he was going to say, he steps through the door and throws his arms around my shoulders, patting my back hard with one of his hands while hugging me tightly.

It’s not the kinda thing Rye would normally do, but never the less, I appreciate it. Even if he is soaking wet from the rain. Neil walks in behind Ryan and nods once, but he doesn’t speak. He’s obviously upset, too, if his bloodshot eyes are anything to go by. Neil has always been more reserved and never usually displays his emotions. I know he and Holly were pretty close. It was actually through him that she and I had started talking to each other in the first place.

“How are you holding up?” Neil asks quietly as he takes a seat at the dining table. “Do they have any idea on what the hell happened yet?”

I shake my head and slump back down into the chair
opposite to where he’s sitting. “No.”

The cops have been keeping Holly’s mom and dad updated, but so far
, there hasn’t been any new leads in their investigations. There’s no way in hell she injected herself. No fucking way. One of the officers suggested that she may have been hiding her addiction from us. Yeah, let’s just say that it took all of my strength not to punch that guy in the goddamn face.

“Dude, I’m sorry,
” Neil rests his elbows on the table, and there’s complete sadness in his voice. “So, what time are you heading over to Seattle?”

“Rach is
picking me up in around an hour,” I answer.

The three of us sit around, mainly in silence for another half an hour, before I decide to head upstairs to get myself dressed. I was gonna say ready, but
I don’t think that I’m ever gonna be ready for what lies ahead.

Once I’ve showered, I throw on my pair of black suit pants and the same purple shirt I wore when Holly and I went out for the first time on our ‘unofficial first date’. She told me that this one was one of her favorites.

I glance in the bathroom mirror and let out a deep sigh. I hadn’t realized just how bad I actually look these days up until now. Purple rings are circling my eyes, and judging by the way my shirt is hanging off of me, I’ve definitely lost a little weight.

Heading back downstairs,
I cross by Neil in the hallway, “Is it okay for me to use your bathroom, buddy?”

“Sure, go ahead,
” I answer and walk into the kitchen to grab the locket from the table. “Do you want a coffee or something?” I ask Rye and watch him as he stands.

“It’s
alright, dude. I’ll make it,” he winks at me and then heads over to the coffee machine. I take a deep breath and grab the locket from the center of the table. Opening it up one final time, I gaze at the image of me and Holly before closing it back up and placing it inside my pants pocket. “Neil suggested that we delay our trip to Europe by a few weeks.”

“He did?” I glance over in surprise. He nods while adding some sweetener into the cream colored coffee mugs.

“Yeah. Some things are more important than traveling, bro. We’re not gonna abandon you when you’ve got all this shit going on.”

My eyes glaze over
from knowing that I have such good friends around me when I need them.  These guys are definitely two of the nicest people I know. I don’t think I could ever ask for better friends than Neil and Rye. The three of us grew up together, and although the saying goes ‘two’s company, threes a crowd,’ we’ve always been close. As close as I imagine brothers to be.

“Brandon?” I turn around when I hear Neil say my name, and see him standing
in the doorway. “The ... er … the cops are here.”

I nod and head towards the hallway, with Neil stepping to the side to let me pass by him.

“Mr. Taylor?” There’s two of them standing just inside the doorway.

I try and swallow pa
st the lump that’s in my throat, “Yeah … Are there any new developments?” I notice the one on the right glancing towards her partner, as though she’s waiting for him to be the one to answer me.

“Mr. Taylor. We have a warrant to search these premises.”

“A what?” I begin to laugh. They can’t be serious? “For what?” From the corner of my eye, I see Neil and Rye coming out to stand beside me.

“We have reason to believe that there are illegal nar
cotics stored on these premises,” I feel my eyes widen and a sharp pain shooting through my gut.

I shake my head and glance around to Neil and Rye. They both look
just as shocked as I’m feeling, “No. No, there must be some kinda mistake.”

“Then you won’t mind us taking a look for ourselves, will you, Mr. Taylor?” The male cop steps forward and hands me the warrant before stepping by me.
Shit.
They’re fucking serious. “Is your room this way?”

“You do realize what
the day is, right?” Rye takes a step forward. “It’s Holly’s funeral in a couple of hours.” The officers disregard him as I continue to stare down at the piece of paper in my hand, without being able to answer their question.

“It’s the second up t
he stairs on the right, officer,” Neil answers him before they both head up the stairs. “Come and sit down, buddy. They’ll soon realize they made a mistake.” He places his hand on my shoulder and steers me towards the living room.

“Pigs,
” I hear Rye mutter under his breath when we hear the cops moving things around on the floor above us. “Like you’re some kinda drug dealer now? What the hell, man.” He grinds out, looking completely pissed.

My palms are sweaty, and my right leg has been uncontrollably jiggling
up and down ever since they went up there and we came to sit down in here. After around ten minutes, we hear them walking back down the stairs, and the three of us immediately stand and head into the hallway as they make the bottom step, “Well? Are you happy now?”

Both of their facial expressions are unreadable, and before I know it, I’m being turned around by the male officer.

“Brandon Taylor, you are being arrested for being in the possession of illegal narcotics and on suspicion of causing the recent death of Miss Holly Grainger—”

“What?” I choke out when the words the female detective has just spoken begin to sink in. “I don’t … what? Why? How? I don’t… I don’t understand!” The male detective places his hands firmly on my shoulders, and I shrug him away from me. “I don’t, I’ve never, I mean ... you think I killed her?
But …”

I feel the cuffs being wrapped
around my wrists behind me, and see Neil and Rye staring directly at me with what looks to be pure disbelief.

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed by the court of law. Do you understand these rights?”

My head starts spinning, and my heart’s thundering so hard in my chest that I actually feel like I’m gonna pass out or something. The female cop walks by me, and that’s when I see it. She’s carrying a couple of clear bags containing white powder while speaking through her radio, “The suspect has been detained. We’re bringing him in now.”