Miss Winthorpe's Elopement (19 page)

P
enny sat in the library, watching the blur of sunlight through the leaded windows, as she cleaned her glasses with her handkerchief. Her husband had been right: the air was sweeter here, and the sunshine more bright than any place else on earth.

And then a shadow fell upon her table. Timothy Colton stood, blocking the light from the door.

She smiled and stood, reaching out for his hand. ‘Timothy. Whatever are you doing in Wales?’

He was leaning against the door frame, and as her vision cleared, she took note of his appearance. He was the worse for both drink and travel. His hair was wind- blown, his coat dirty, and he smelled of whisky, though it was not yet noon. ‘I live here, as does Clarissa. We are near enough to walk the distance on a clear day.’ He smiled mirthlessly. ‘Did your husband not tell you of the fact?’

She racked her brain, hoping that there had been a revelation, and that she had forgotten. ‘No.’

‘Now, why do you suppose he would forget to mention it?’

There had to be a reason. He had said that Tim was a childhood friend. And she knew that Clarissa had been there, the night of the fire. But had he told her they would be neighbours? He must have assumed she would know. ‘I am sure it was a harmless omission.’

‘Really. Then he did not tell you, this morning, that he has gone to my home, to be with my wife.’

‘He would not,’ she said.

‘I was there, and saw them together myself.’

‘You lie.’

‘When have I ever lied to you, Penelope, that you would distrust me now?’ His voice was colder than she’d ever heard it, but he did not avoid her gaze, as her husband had that morning at breakfast. ‘She left me in London several days ago. When I realised where she would go, I shut up the house and came after her. It is notso easy when you have children. You cannot simply hare off to Wales, and abandon them to be with your lover. Not that my wife would care.’

‘But Adam has not been with her, I would swear it.’

‘His horse is in my stables now. And as I approached the house, I could see them clearly through the windows of the sitting room.’

She shook her head. ‘I’m sure there is an innocent explanation for it.’

‘She was lying bare before him, Penny. There was nothing innocent about the scene I witnessed.’

‘Then I will ask Adam about it, when he returns.’ She would do nothing of the kind. She would do her best to pretend that it did not matter to her. Perhaps Adam had eyes only for her because she was the only one near enough to see. But she had convinced herself that there would be no worries in the future. It would always be just as it had been for the last month. Now Timothy meant to spoil it all.

‘And now I wish you to leave.’

He stepped around her, and shut the door. ‘I am not through speaking.’

‘I have nothing to say to you. If you wish to talk to anyone, it should be Adam or your wife.’

Timothy laughed. ‘And now you will pretend that your husband’s affairs do not hurt you. I think this matters more than you care to admit.’

‘What business is it of yours?’ she snapped.

‘If your husband does not wish to be faithful to you? It can be very lonely, knowing that one’s chosen mate has little interest. Now that you have had a taste of what marriage might mean, you will find it is very difficult to content yourself with solitude.’

‘On the contrary, I much prefer to be alone.’

‘If that is true, you are likely to get your wish. But Adam likes company. He is not alone this morning, any more than my wife is. Perhaps it does not matter to you, as a woman, to see your vows tossed back in your face.
But I am tired of standing alone while my friend makes me a cuckold again.’

It amazed her, after all they had said to each other, after all they had done, that her husband could be so cruel. ‘Challenge him, if you care so much.’

‘Do you want us to duel?’

‘No.’

Timothy sagged against the wall. ‘Strangely, neither do I. Our friendship is over, of course. But I have pretended for so long that I did not care, that it seems foolish now to reach for a sword.’ He was staring at her with a strange light in his eyes, as he had the night of the ball.

‘Do you mean to reach for me, instead?’ she asked.

He sighed. ‘There is nothing we can do to stop them, should they wish to be together. But there is no reason for us to be alone.’

‘We will be alone,’ she responded. ‘If we feel anything for them, we will be alone.’

‘But we could be together, in shared misery.’

She shook her head. ‘I am sorry. I cannot…’

He smiled, and removed a flask from his pocket, taking a deep drink. ‘I thought not. And it is truly a shame, Penelope. For I feel I could grow most fond of you, should I allow myself to.’ His voice was low and welcoming. ‘You are a lovely woman with a quick wit and a sweet nature. You are too good for Adam, my dear. He has many admirable qualities, and has been a true friend in many things. But he is proving to have no
more sense than he ever did, when it comes to women. I thought that you brought a change in him.’

‘I hoped…’ She choked on the words. ‘I did not mean to, you know. It was all to be so easy. We both had what we wanted. And then I fell in love with him.’

‘There, now.’ He reached for her and drew her into an embrace that was more brotherly than passionate. ‘Do not cry over him. He is not worth your tears.’

‘Oh, really?’ Her husband’s voice from the doorway was cold.

She sprang back from Timothy’s grasp, and hastily wiped at her face with her sleeve.

‘It was nothing, Adam,’ Penny murmured.

‘Other than that you are making this poor woman miserable with your careless philanderings,’ Timothy supplied.

‘Hush.’ Penny cringed at the description of her feelings, hauled out into the light for all to see. ‘I was overwrought. It was nothing.’

‘Nothing?’ Adam stared at her. ‘When I find you in the arms of another man, it is not “nothing”, madam.’

‘She was crying over you,’ Tim goaded. ‘I could not very well leave her, could I? Although you seemed to have no problem with it.’

‘And I suppose, when it comes to comforting my wife, you are worth two of me?’ Adam glared at his friend.

‘Much as you are, when it comes to my wife.’ Timothy glared back. ‘Of course, you would have to be
as good as two men, for you seem intent on keeping both women. It is hardly fair, old man.’ Timothy grinned, but the smile was cold and mirthless.

‘I do not want your wife.’

‘That was not how it appeared this morning, Adam. After you swore that it was over and you would not be alone with her again.’

Adam made to speak, but hesitated.

Timothy nodded. ‘You cannot look me in the eye and deny it, can you?’

‘I was with her,’ Adam admitted grudgingly. ‘But it was nothing. I swear it, Tim.’

The tears rose in her throat as her husband declared his innocence to his friend. But not to her. Never to her, for she did not deserve it. She had sold the rights to his fidelity for a pile of books.

‘Do you take me for a fool? I saw you plain, through the window. She was naked before you, in broad daylight.’

‘It was not as it appears.’

‘It never is,’ Timothy responded drily. ‘I believe you said that the night of the fire, as well. And I heard the whole thing clearly, although I did not see. Can you not, for once, favour me with the truth? I will at least admit that, given a little more time and the co-operation of your wife, the scene you witnessed, which was truly nothing, would have been exactly what it appeared.’

‘How dare you.’ Adam’s fury was cold. He appeared ready to strike and Penny rushed to his side to take his arm.

‘Adam, nothing happened. And no one knows of any of this. Please.’

Tim laughed, ‘So what are we to do, then? Do you wish to challenge me, or should I challenge you?’ And then he muttered something in Welsh that she did not understand, and spat upon the floor.

She might not have understood the words, but Adam clearly had, for he broke free of her and struck his friend, knocking him to the ground. Tim staggered to his feet with blood in his eye, ready to fight.

And at last, Penny snapped. ‘You may do as you please, the both of you. And Clarissa as well. But whatever you do, you can do it without my help.’

‘Penny, go to your room.’ Adam barely looked at her.

‘That is how it is to be, is it? You will be brother and guardian to me, and banish me to my quarters, so that you can do as you please? Take my money, then. I offered it to you freely, in exchange for peace and freedom. And I have scant little of either. But the money was not enough for you. You wanted my affection when it suited you, so that I did not embarrass you in public. And then, you needed my body to be a mother to your children. And now you expect my loyalty, while you lie with another man’s wife.

‘I want none of it, Adam. No more than I ever did. I want to be alone. And I would sooner see my children raised by jackals than by you or your twisted friends. I am leaving you.’

‘You cannot. I will not permit it.’ Her husband had
turned away from his friend, no longer caring for the fight before him.

‘And you cannot stop me. The bargain between us is irretrievably broken. If you thwart me today, I will try again tomorrow. Sooner or later, I will succeed in escaping you. If you wish, you may drag me back to your home by the hair, and lock me in my room. The Duke of Bellston, charming, handsome, lecherous and debauched, will need to keep his wife, and her fortune, by force. And then we will see what people say of you and your precious reputation.’

And she swept from the room.

A
dam thought, all things considered, that he should feel much worse. But he felt nothing. She had left the room, and taken his anger with her.

He had turned back to Tim, who must have been more than a little drunk, for he had collapsed back on to the floor, and absently offered him a hand.

Tim had ignored it and struggled to his feet, wiping blood from his mouth and on to his shirt cuff. ‘There. Are you satisfied now?’

He stared back at Tim. ‘Are you?’

‘I think I am. For you finally look the way I feel. All these months you have spent, wallowing in ecstasy, or lust or guilt.’ Tim made a bitter face. ‘Never content unless you were torn by some emotion or other, and convinced that no one felt more deeply than you. Now, she will go. And you are all hollowed out.’

Adam nodded. He could feel the growing emptiness
as she withdrew from him. A space that needed filling.

Tim smiled. ‘Now imagine her with someone else.’

The pain of the thought was exquisite, for there was nothing to dull it. It was untouchable, like the phantom pains that soldiers claimed, in a limb that was no longer there. ‘And this is how you feel?’

Tim nodded. ‘Clarissa knows it, and she works all the harder to make me hurt. And yet I cannot leave her. She says, if I do, she will take the children, even though she cares little for them. They are innocents. They do not deserve such a mother.’

‘She does not deserve to live. And if I cannot find a way to mend this?’ Adam smiled. ‘Then I will send her back to hell from whence she came.’

He offered his hand to his friend again, and Tim pushed it aside. ‘It is a bit late for that, I think. I am going home, to my loving wife. You will understand, I trust, if the door is shut to you, should you attempt to visit.’

Adam nodded. ‘As my door is now shut to you. But a word of warning. It all may get worse before it gets better. Your wife is none too happy with me. I refused her this morning. If you find letters to her, in my hand? They are old. Burn them without looking. For both our sakes.’

Tim nodded. ‘Goodbye, then.’ And he left him alone.

One, two, three
… She’d had to start over on several occasions, for she was so angry that she kept losing her
count. Penny stormed into her library and rang the bell for Jem.
Twenty-seven, twenty-eight
…And why did she even bother with it? For what good did it do to keep your temper, and be agreeable in all things, if someone you thought you could trust used your even nature against you?

Jem entered and looked at her suspiciously.

She waved an arm at the walls. ‘Pack them up again.’

He squinted. ‘Your Grace?’

‘My books. Bring back the crates. Take them down and box them up.’

‘Where will I be taking them, once I’m done?’

‘I have no idea. Box them.’

‘Are we going back to London, or the Scotland property that everyone talks of? Or is there somewhere…?’

‘Away. I am going away, and not coming back. You were right all along. My idea was foolish, and now I am punished for it. So stop arguing with me and box these cursed books.’

‘No.’

‘I beg your pardon?’

He raised his voice. ‘I said no, Miss Penny. I have put up with more than my share of nonsense from you over the years. But today it stops. I have carried these books halfway across England for you. You may not have noticed the fact, since you lift them one at a time. But as a group, they are heavy. And they are not moving another inch.’

‘They are not remaining here,’ she shouted, ‘and neither am I.’

To this, Jem said nothing, merely fixed her with a long, hard look and stood, blocking the door.

‘You refuse to pack the books? So be it. I’d probably have a hard time sorting them from the ones that were already here. It is amazing how quickly one’s things can get tangled with another’s… But never mind that. Go to my room. I will send the maid for my dresses. They are unquestionably mine. Although I never wanted the cursed things in the first place.’

Jem showed no sign of obeying this order, either.

‘What are you waiting for? Go!’ She sounded shrill, even to her own ears.

Jem folded his arms.

‘Look at me.’ She pointed down at her clothes. ‘How long has it been since I met him? A scant two months. And I no longer know myself. I dress differently. I act differently. I do not even live in the same city. I was totally content to spend days by myself. And now, if he leaves me for more than an hour or two, I miss him.

‘Little by little, he has made me into exactly the thing that he wants, and now he is bored with me.’

‘And for this reason, I must pack your things and carry them to you-do-not-know-where.’ He remained unmoved.

‘He does not love me.’

‘I did not think you wished him to. When you dragged me to Scotland—’

‘I was wrong.’

‘And so you wish to compound the first bad decision by making another.’ Jem shook his head in pity. ‘I will admit, I had my doubts about the man at first. But given time, he will love you beyond reason, if he is does not already. It is hardly worth the strain on my back to bring your things down from your room, only to carry them back up again. If you insist on going, you may carry your own damn bags. Your Grace.’ He added her title as an after thought and left the room.