Mistletoe & Kisses (19 page)

This was getting old. I’d made my decision and it couldn’t be changed now. There was no way I was going to tell him this over the phone. I wanted to see his face when he found out.

“I told you, I would tell him in my own time. Probably when he gets back.”

She threw her hands up in the air. “You know what, whatever. I say it’s about a week you’re regretting not telling him, and then you’ll have to wait until he comes home—unless you want to do it over Skype.”

Marissa got in the car without another word. I knew better than to try and reason with her when she got like this. There was no point. She wasn’t going to listen, and there was no way I was going to change my mind. I’d made my decision and I was sticking to it. Marissa was wrong.

I wouldn’t regret my choice.

* * *

Except a week later I realized how right she was. I called her crying the night I realized that I should have told him before he left. It was bad enough he was going to miss part of the pregnancy since he was deployed. He at the very least had a right to know he was going to be a father.

But there was nothing I could do about it. Even if he had gotten mad at me for getting pregnant, he still had a right to know. Over the next few months, I told Liam and my parents. They were all super excited. I’d come to terms with it myself, and was finally completely happy that I had a little piece of Tanner with me all the time.

Tanner and I talked on Skype, but the conversations were weird and uncomfortable. I tried to keep myself from telling him, and he attempted to figure out what was wrong.

This deployment passed by faster than any of the others as I waited for my judgment to be passed down. In a blink of an eye, three months had passed and it was time to pick up Tanner. The one thing I hadn’t anticipated was the small baby bump I was sporting. There was no hiding now. He would know as soon as he saw me.

Practically shaking, I went inside with Liam and Marissa to wait.

Chapter Nine

Tanner

IT FELT LIKE forever since I’d seen Dani. Only three months had passed, but it was a completely different feeling now that we were married. Not to mention that through all of our conversations something had seemed off. She wasn’t distant, but at times she was preoccupied. I was worried about her. She was mine to take care of, which was hard to do when I was so far away. There were a few times I tried talking to Liam and Marissa to see if they knew what was wrong, but both of them had promised that she was fine and just missed me, and that everything would be fine when I got back.

The flutters in my stomach got stronger the closer we got to the drop off area. The bus pulled up and I immediately saw Liam and Marissa, but Danielle was nowhere in sight. The butterflies were quickly replaced by a rock, sitting heavy in my gut. Where was she? Why wasn’t she here? There was no way she’d be working.

“Where’s Danielle?” Colin asked from the seat in front of me.

“I have no idea. My ass needs to get off this bus and find her though.”

Greg slapped me on the back. “I’m sure everything’s fine. Don’t freak until you know there’s a problem.

With everyone excited to be reunited with their families, the buses unloaded pretty quickly. My bag in my hand, I went straight for Liam and Marissa.

“Where is she?” I asked as soon as I was in front of them.

They shared a look before stepping to the side. There before me was the most beautiful vision I’d ever seen. Danielle stood before me, in a pair of jeans and a tight pink top, that easily showed off the small bump along her abdomen. She was strict with her yoga routine, and I knew I was looking at the beginning of a life created by us.

I was going to be a father.

Dropping to my knees, I wrapped my arms around her and placed my lips on her thickened waistline. When I looked up to her face, I could see the tears sliding, unchecked, to the ground.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and didn’t understand why she’d kept it from me the entire time I was gone.

“You wanted to wait, and I didn’t want you to be mad at me.”

Rising to my feet, I stared at her for a moment, unable to get my voice past my lips. “How could I ever be mad at you for carrying a life we created?”

With my thumbs, I brushed away her tears.

“You’re really not mad?”

Taking her hand in mine, I pulled her into my arms, rocking her back and forth. “Dani, I have never been so happy in my entire life. It doesn’t matter that this was sooner then we planned. Sometimes the unplanned moments are the most amazing.”

Her body slumped against me, almost like I’d lifted a thousand pound weight from her shoulders, the weight of her rolling into me. Needing to feel closer to my child, I placed my hand on her stomach. “How are you feeling? When are we due? Is it a boy or a girl?”

When she pulled her face away from my shoulder, there was now a smile on her face. “Let’s say ’bye to our friends and get out of here. Then I’ll tell you everything.”

There was a lightness in my chest. Turning, I found both Colin and Greg standing behind me, talking to Marissa and Liam. Colin had his arm wrapped around Marissa and it was obvious they had no idea yet. When we turned around to say our good-byes, both Collins and Greg’s gazed narrowed in on my hand covering Danielle’s stomach.

“Holy shit. Congratulations!” Colin held out a hand and pulled me into a man-hug when I took it.

Greg’s reaction was similar. “Wow! That’s freaking amazing. I’m so happy for the two of you. Now what are you still standing around for? Get the hell out of here and get caught up.”

“Thanks, man.”

Taking Danielle’s hand in mine, I led her out to the car, wanting to get home as fast as possible so that I could change and we could talk. Now that the shock was starting to wear off, I was starting to wonder how long she’d known, and why she hadn’t told me before. Once we got back to the house, I changed and sat down in the living room.

“Dani, can we talk?”

Her eyes were full of apprehension as she walked into the living room. “Did you want a beer?”

“No, Dani, I want you to come sit down and talk to me.”

With a sigh, she sat down on the couch and waited for me to begin.

“How long?” I asked.

Her eyes dropped to the ground. “Before you left,” she said, never taking her eyes from the floor.

She’d known before we left. Why would she keep something like that from me? I was trying to find reasons to understand, but I didn’t, and the more I thought about it the more frustrated I got.

“Remember how I said I wasn’t angry, now I have to tell you I am a little bit angry. I just don’t understand how you didn’t tell me before we deployed. Why would you keep something like this from me?”

She whispered something quietly.

“What?” I asked, a small bite to my voice.

“You said you wanted to wait.” And there behind her words, I could hear the anguish in her voice.

I placed my finger under her chin and lifted her face to mine. The tear tracks down her cheeks wiped out any anger I’d been feeling. I pulled her into my arms.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I never meant that I wouldn’t want kids if it happened. I just figured if we were going to actively try we could wait a few years. This is such a wonderful blessing, and I’m sorry I made you doubt yourself.”

There I sat, holding the woman of my dreams as she pushed out the last of her tears and slowly calmed down. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“Shh, you don’t have to be sorry. We can do everything together now that I’m home.”

“I love you,” she whispered against my chest.

“I love you, too. Now tell me everything about our little miracle,” I said cupping her stomach.

Danielle told me everything, from her first doctor’s appointment, to her upcoming ultrasound. Even though I was curious, she didn’t want to learn the sex of the baby. There was no way I was going against her, and the surprise was just as appealing. She already had plans on how to do the nursery to keep it as neutral as possible.

***

Over the next few months we spent all of our free time getting the nursery ready for the baby. Thanksgiving had come and gone and we were only a few days before Christmas—right around Danielle’s due date. If I’d thought she looked beautiful before, there was no way to describe my feelings as I watch her body grow with our child. It was much more than simply beautiful. It was almost untouchable.

As we prepared the house for everyone to join us for Christmas, Danielle was lying down since she wasn’t feeling well. She’d been plagued by Braxton Hicks. If you ask me, her lack of sleep wasn’t helping. To keep her relaxed the least I could do was get the kitchen cleaned up for our guests.

“Tanner?” There was a slight touch of worry in her voice. She’d sounded like that the all week. Not wanting to ignore her, I made my way down to bedroom where Danielle was standing up changing her pants and I noticed that the bed was soaking wet. It took a moment or two to register.

“Oh crap. Crap. Crap.
Crap!
”

“Relax, we’ve got everything already packed. All we have to do is put my bag into the car and we can leave.”

Forget butterflies, every one of my body parts was shaking.

“Are you all right? Do you want me to help you to your car?”

She turned to me. “Tanner, take a deep breath. I’m having a baby, not flying the space shuttle. Now grab my bag so we can go.”

We got loaded into the car and I sped off toward the hospital. I knew some of the contractions were getting to her, but she’d never admit that she was in pain.

When we arrived at the hospital Danielle’s breathing had gotten even heavier. The nurse took her back to an exam room while I filled out the paperwork, joining them as soon as I was done. By the time I stepped into the room, she was already in a hospital gown and lying in bed with a monitor attached to her belly.

“Good news or bad news?” the nurse asked once she finished checking Danielle.

Danielle cringed.

“Bad news, you’re too dilated for an epidural.”

Her eyes widened, but she pulled herself back under control quickly.

“The good news, this labor won’t be long at all. My guess is that you will probably be fully dilated and ready to push in about hour later.

About an hour and fifteen minutes later, I was ready to hurt someone for my beautiful girl. Watching her fight through every contraction was slowly killing me, because there was nothing I could do the fix it. She was being such a trooper. Five minutes later, the nurse walked back in to check Danielle again.

“Good news, you’re ready to push. Let me get Dr. Reese and we’ll get started.”

“About time,” Danielle growled and then clenched her teeth as she fought off another one. She was trying to use all the techniques we learned I child birth class, but none of them were really working.

The nurse came back in the followed by the doctor.

“Hello, Mrs. Marano. How about we get this baby out?”

“I like the sound of that.”

“All right, Danielle, on your next contraction you’re going to push as hard as you can. The harder the push the less of them you’ll have to do in the long run.”

Dr. Reese kept her eye on the monitor. “Get ready, and . . .
push
.”

Danielle grunted and groaned as she pushed with all of her strength. She continued to push through each contraction over the next half an hour. Panting, I could see the pain etched on her face as she tried to pull in more air.

“Your can do it, sweetheart.” I brought the damp cloth to her forehead.

“I think one more push should do it. Make it a good one.”

Danielle did exactly as she asked and, suddenly, a small cry filled the room. It was a sound that stole my heart, and I knew I would never be the same.

“Mr. And Mrs. Marano, say hello to your son.”

“Son?”

The doctor set the baby on Danielle’s chest for a moment before the nurse had to take him away to test all of his vitals. A few minutes later, Danielle was in a seated position and the baby was being brought back to her all cleaned up. As gently as she could, the nurse placed the baby in Danielle’s arms.

She looked up, eyes filled with tears. “What should we name him?”

“I know the perfect name. Let’s call him Nate.”

She looked down at our sleeping son. “You’re right, that is the perfect name.”

“Hello, Nate Tanner Marano. How about you say hello to your daddy.”

Danielle placed Nate into my arms and it was like holding a miracle in my hands. There were no words to describe what I was feeling.

“Hi, my big boy. Your mommy and daddy love you with all of their hearts. Welcome to our family.”