Mistletoe & Kisses (20 page)

Epilogue

Danielle

AFTER SPENDING TWO whole days in the hospital, I was done. Today was Christmas Day and all I wanted to do was spend it at home with my family. Nate was sound asleep in my arms after eating, when Tanner walked in with the car seat, having just spent the last half an hour filling out the discharge paperwork.

“You’re free.”

I placed Nate in the car seat and buckled him in. Once the nurse took us down to the car, we were off. My excitement at going home, combined with the fact that with was Christmas, was making everything amazing.

We pulled up in front of the house and everyone came out to help. Carrying Nate in, I sat in the recliner that they had set up for me. Everyone settled themselves in, while Liam sat on the floor to hand out presents.

Watching my family interact with one another, I felt the love throughout the room. It was one of those moments when you realize how lucky you are. There may have been times that challenged me, to the point that I worried about how I would survive from the pain, but I was stronger than that. I’d fought my way through and found my light and my reason for living. Tanner was my everything. And now Nate was here and I couldn’t feel more blessed.

It felt as if I’d come full circle. Beginning with a letter and ending with the birth of my baby boy. Finally, through all of the heartache and the hurt, the love and happiness, I felt I had finally come home.

Acknowledgements

There are so many people to thank it’s hard to know where to start. Let’s start with the readers who wanted more of Dani and Tanner, I can’t thank you enough for giving Letters Home a try. It’s a story that holds a special place in my heart. And while I know there were parts that broke your hearts, I’m glad that you stayed and fell in love with Dani and Tanner like I did.

Ryn, thanks for putting up with my crazy self and once and again helping to put Dani and Tanner in their best light.

Lisa, Coleen, and Tracy, thank you for keeping me on track and helping me dig myself out when I get stuck.

Brandi, you’re a great friend and your advice and ideas have been invaluable. You taking the time to read Coming Home means the world to me. Thank you.

Miranda, ever book is a new adventure for us and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Rebecca’s Readers, thank you so much for all that you guys do for me. I know how much time you guys spend helping me to get my name out there and I there aren’t enough words for how much I appreciate each and every one of you.

The final thank you goes to my family. They put up with me when I’m going on three hours sleep because I have a deadline. Thank you for encouraging me to chase my dreams. You three are my world and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

To keep updated on my books and new releases, you can find me these places…

Facebook:

www.facebook.com/pages/Rebecca-Brooke-Author

Twitter:

@RebeccaBrooke6

Mailing List:

http://bit.ly/1p1PK5D

Website:

rebeccabrookeauthor.blogspot.com

Christmas Wish

A Holiday Novella

Danielle Jamie

Disclaimer:

I don’t own any of the name brands i.e. Nike, Victoria Secret, etc. that might appear in the story.

Edited By: Kayla Robichaux AKA Kayla the Bibliophile

Chapter One

Callie

LIFE HAS BEEN nothing but a big fat joke, with me seeming to be the butt of it. I figured if I keep laughing along with it, maybe one day the rolls would reverse. But sadly, that isn’t the case, because I guess the universe hates me or something. There’s no other explanation for it. Today, I was just hit with the mother load of all jokes, and man is it a doozy.

I’ve been dating Jase for two years on and off. We fight like cats and dogs, but every time we break up, it isn’t two weeks before he’s back, begging for me to take his sorry ass back, and every damn time, I do. Well, the big kicker of this whole merry-go-round is that five months ago, I found out I was pregnant.

Sitting in my bathroom that day, staring at a pregnancy test and praying to every damn god known to man to let it be negative was the most nerve-wracking day of my life. As the two lines appeared, my worst fears became a reality. We were so not stable enough for each other, let alone a kid. I contemplated abortion. I even went as far as going to the clinic, but chickened out. Seeing the little blob on the monitor and knowing it was inside me and was a piece of me was overwhelming.

I was abandoned by my father, and my mother died of cancer when I was just thirteen. My grandparents raised me and were my rocks after losing my mother. They had my aunt to care for still, who was only eighteen at the time, but took me in with open arms when I had nowhere else to go.

When I turned sixteen, my grandfather died of a massive heart attack. It was as if the world had stopped spinning that day. My grandmother took his death hard, and with my cousin gone, attending Sienna University, she was the only one who was around to care for me. I had two more years of school left, and she did the best she could, but slowly, her health began to deteriorate too.

After I graduated, I had to do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. With the help of my cousin Ella, we decided to put my grandmother in an assisted living home. I was accepted into the top beauty school in Albany and couldn’t attend college full-time, because it would leave my grandmother home to care for herself. In the end, it was the best decision, because she’s lived there for nearly five years and loves it. She’s made tons of friends and even has a guy who she says is just her friend, but they are always doing weekly dates together. It’s adorable.

She always says no one will ever take the place of my grandfather, which I believe every word she says, because her eyes light up still after all these years when she talks about him. But I also want to see her happy and living her life to the fullest. At 84 years old, she knows she’s never guaranteed tomorrow and always tells me life is too short to be filled with regrets and should-haves. Her motto has always been that we need to chase our dreams and never put off for tomorrow what we could enjoy today.

For years, I’ve ignored her advice. I settled for working in a salon with a bitch for a boss and a boyfriend who would love me one day and break up with me the next, because he’d decide he wasn’t ready to settle down. I stupidly thought I could change him. I wasted two years of my life waiting for Jase to finally grow up and want to settle down with me. I foolishly thought maybe the baby, even though a surprise—a very unexpected and shocking surprise—would get Jase to finally settle down and help us move on to the next step in our relationship.

Sadly, that didn’t work out like I’d planned. At first, Jase was amazing and doting when I told him I was pregnant. This totally shocked the hell out of me and gave me false hope, but his excitement quickly wore off and he was soon back to his out all night partying ways and picking fights with me just so he could find an excuse to yell at me that we were done once again.

That was at the end of my first trimester. Since then, I’ve spent the last two months sitting home alone while he goes out partying and doing only God knows what with his friends as I grow bigger and bigger with every passing moment. I have no desire to find another man; my focus is on my baby, unlike Jase, whose only worry is whose bed he’ll end up in at the end of the night.

Bitch Boss had the audacity while eavesdropping on a conversation my friend Gia and I were having on break one day to suggest I abort my baby. I had already contemplated the idea, only because I was scared I couldn’t raise a baby with Jase and I having such a rocky relationship. The second it all became real and I saw my baby on the monitor, I knew I’d never be able to go through with it. To have someone look down on me and act like my baby would be better off dead than me raising it as a single mom pissed me off beyond words.

I am sorry, but I will not kill my innocent child, just because the sperm donor of a father decided he had other things more important to do than help me decide on baby names and attend doctor appointments.

My mother raised me all on her own, all while being a full-time high school social studies teacher. It wasn’t easy, but I can still to this day say my mother loved me unconditionally and made sure, even when we didn’t have a lot, that I was happy, healthy, and safe. I will do the same for my son or daughter. I miss my mom every day. She was my best friend, and the day I lost her, I lost a piece of myself.

She had a life insurance policy she’d set up when she started teaching and I was five years old. It wasn’t a lot, but enough to cover her funeral and leftover bills from her cancer treatment her insurance hadn’t covered. After all of her expenses, I had twenty-five thousand in my savings account. I used some of it for cosmetology school, because I refused to put myself into debt the second I stepped out of high school. I had the money and wouldn’t rack up student loans when it wasn’t necessary.

When my grandfather passed, his life insurance policy divided between my grandmother and my aunt Ella. My gram kept hers in a savings account we used for monthly expenses, since her social security didn’t pay her much. Now it helps cover her monthly expenses to live at the assisted living home she’s in.

My aunt used some of hers to invest in stocks, and the rest went into savings for her to use after college to start up her own business.

Now, a few years later, my aunt’s money has tripled. She suggested I do the same, but the stock market scares the crap out of me. I feel much more comfortable with my money put safely away in my bank account. Two years ago, Ella used a large sum of her inheritance to purchase a bed and breakfast in the Adirondacks. It’s in a little town called Lake George in upstate New York and it’s right on the water. She’s invited me the last two Christmases to come up, and every time, I declined the invitation, because I’d be spending the holiday with Jase and his family.

His mother and stepdad, along with his little sister Trinity, are some of the kindest people I’ve ever met. It baffles me Jase can be such a jackass, when his sister is the total opposite of him. She’s a straight-A honor roll student on the fast track to graduating as Valedictorian of her school.

I’ve decided I’m going to do what my grandmother Rosie always said to do. I’m going to live in the moment and stop putting off my dreams. So this morning, I walked into work, told Gia I loved her and that once my salon is up and running to give me a call, because I’d love to have her as my partner-in-crime one head at a time, and then told Bitch Boss I quit before dramatically storming out of the salon.

Now, I’m driving my car to my OB-GYN’s office for my big ultrasound appointment. Today, I find out if I’m having a boy or girl. Of course Jase isn’t with me. I sent him a text this morning reminding him, and he wrote me back with some bullshit excuse that he couldn’t get the afternoon off, which I know is a lie, because his boss, Pauly, is one of the nicest guys I know and would’ve given him the afternoon off to come find out the sex of our baby. Since we’re not together right now, he couldn’t care less. It’s heartbreaking knowing he doesn’t care about this child.

He works as a mechanic, and this is the longest job he’s ever held. He’s worked for Pauly’s shop for a little over a year. Every other job he’s quit, because he couldn’t get along with his boss, or was fired, because he stayed out partying all night and then didn’t show up to work the next day without bothering to call in.

I always made up excuses for him to Ella. I’d say he was young and would grow up some day. It’s now been two years and he’s yet to grow up. I don’t think he ever will. So I’m finally getting to my wit’s end, which leads me to the next decision I’ve made. This year, I’m finally taking my aunt up on her offer and spending Christmas with her at her bed and breakfast. I think getting away from Jase is exactly what I need to clear my head. We’ve been apart two months now, and it’s the longest we’ve not been together. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t showed up on my doorstep a few times drunk off his ass and wanting to stay the night.

I’m done being used. Unless he’s ready to stop being a douchebag and be the boyfriend I deserve and the father my baby deserves, then my vagina is off-limits. It’s taken me two years of his bullshit to finally say enough is enough. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones turning me into a headstrong bitch. Who knows? All I know is his face when I told him to go bother someone else was priceless.

Chapter Two

I PULL INTOthe parking lot of my doctor’s office ten minutes early for the first time ever. Traffic is normally a bitch in the afternoon, and my appointments usually start with me rushing into the waiting room ten minutes late, so things are looking up today.

Thankfully, I don’t have to wait very long before a nurse calls me back to use the bathroom and to check my weight and blood pressure. I only gained one pound since my last visit and my blood pressure perfect. I’m naturally petite, so even at twenty weeks, you can barely tell I’m pregnant. I can tell, because my jeans are getting tighter, but anyone else who doesn’t see me every day wouldn’t even notice.

After a fifteen minute wait in the waiting room, I’m called by the nurse to head down to the ultrasound room. I don’t know why I’m nervous. I hate that I’ve spent the last fifteen minutes watching the door waiting to see if Jase will show up. Like usual, I put my hopes into him finally doing something right, just to be disappointed.

“You can lie back and the ultrasound technician will be right in.” The nurse in her brightly colored scrubs gives me a soft smile before leaving the room.

I stare at the ceiling for ten minutes before the technician finally comes in. Now that I’ve laid here with nothing to do but think about the baby and Jase, I’m finding myself growing more and more anxious and emotional. This is a huge moment, and he’s missing it.

I blink back tears that are welling up in my eyes as I hold my hands over my belly. I watch her walk in, turn on the screen, and flick the lights off. “Good afternoon, Miss Greenwood. So are you ready to see your little baby? Are you finding out the sex today?” she asks as she gets to work setting everything up.

I swallow hard as I try to wet my mouth that suddenly feels parched. I nod gently. “Yes, as long as my little peanut cooperates, I’d love to find out what I’m having.”

“Wonderful. If you can lift your shirt and push your pants below your hips, we’ll see if your nursery will be blue or pink.”

I shimmy my yoga pants down slightly and pull up my shirt, fisting it in my fingers, resting them beneath my breasts.

“This will be slightly cold,” she tells me as she shakes a bottle upside down and squirts jell below my belly button.

“Ohh darn, that’s cold!” I shriek. No matter how many times they do that, the shock never lessens. It’s cold as hell, even sitting on a warmer.

“Sorry.” She laughs as she sets the bottle back in its warmer and grabs the wand. The second she presses it against my belly and begins sliding it over my lower stomach, the familiar swooshing sound that is my baby’s heartbeat fills the room. Every time I hear it, I swear my own heart stops and starts again.

I watch the monitor as the baby’s head and upper body appear on the screen. The technician goes to work taking measurements. “Everything is looking great. Your baby is growing perfectly and is measuring right up to date. Now for the fun part…let’s see if we can get her or him to sit still long enough for us to see what you’re having.”

Reminding myself to keep breathing, I watch the screen as I feel her moving the wand around my stomach. What appears to be two legs show up on the screen, but I don’t know what is showing up between them. It all looks like a big blob to me. I have no idea what I’m looking at.

She begins to draw a circle using the mouse’s pointer on the screen and beams at me. “You see this here?” she asks, pointing at the center of the circle. I have no idea what I am seeing, but I nod anyways. “You’re going to be a wonderful mommy to a beautiful baby girl.”

A girl.

I’m having a girl?
I’ve dreamt of having a baby girl to dress up and do her hair and nails while having tea parties and playing princesses with her. I would love a boy too. I only truly care that she’s healthy and right on track, but I can’t deny I’m screaming with excitement on the inside, while tears are filling my eyes once again on the outside.

Tears of both happiness and sadness slide down the side of my face as my heart breaks. This is not how I imagined my life would be. Right now, Jase should be sitting by my side holding my hand and celebrating with me, excited about the idea of having a little girl—a beautiful little daddy’s girl.

Instead, I’m lying here by myself.

The nurse prints me out some photos to bring home with me before I head out to the receptionist and schedule my next appointment for four weeks away. Today is December 20
th
, and I cannot believe the next time I come to the doctors it’ll be 2015. Hopefully, 2015 will be a better year than 2014. One thing that’ll make it amazing is my baby girl will be born.

I slip into the driver’s seat of my Sonata and send a quick text to Jase just telling him he’s going to be a daddy to a baby girl, and then I snap a picture of the ultrasound photo and send it to him. I wish sometimes I could be a heartless bitch and treat him like he treats me, but I can’t. Not waiting to see if he responds—more than likely he won’t for a few hours, since he’s working right now—I text Gia. She should just be getting done at the salon and heading to my house.

She’s supposed to come help me pack. I plan on staying at my aunt’s place until after Christmas, and then come home and ring in 2015 with Gia. It’ll be my last New Year’s party before I become a mom. Sure, I can’t drink, but I’ll still be able to dance my butt off and have a good time.

Me:

Here’s a pic of my lil peanut. I’ll tell u the big news once u get to my house ;)

Gia wastes no time texting me back. She’s been just as excited as I’ve been to find out the sex of the baby.

Gia:

OMG! Are you seriously trying to torture me?! I’m on my way 2 ur place now!

Twenty minutes later, I’m pulling into my driveway and spot Gia’s Prius. She’s all for alternative energy and electric cars. Her motto is ‘saving the planet, one hybrid car at a time’. She makes me laugh out loud when she gets into one of her ‘we need to work on saving the planet’ rants. My aunt loves getting her riled up, telling her how her mother’s generation is to blame for our global warming thanks to her and her friends using a bottle a day of Aqua Net on their hair.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for preserving the land we live on, especially now that I’m bringing a child into the world, but I am nowhere near as neurotic about it as she is. I still don’t understand why she got a degree in cosmetology if her heart is into saving the environment. But that is why she is my best friend, because she has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known.

She’s sitting on my deck and jumps to her feet, bouncing with excitement. “Finally! It feels like I’ve been sitting here waiting for hours.”

Rolling my eyes, I slam my driver’s side door closed and sling my purse over my shoulder. I dig out an ultrasound picture as I make my way up the driveway. “It’s only been twenty minutes. You’re lucky it wasn’t longer. I swear I hit every red light on my way home.”

Gia is unable to contain her excitement and sprints down the stairs with her hands out in front of her, waving them around, grasping at air, and shrieking as she meets me halfway. I can’t help but laugh at her. I’m surprised the entire neighborhood isn’t staring at us like we’ve lost our damn minds. “You’re killing me, woman! Hurry up and spill the beans! Am I going to be an auntie to a little boy or girl?!”

I hand her the ultrasound picture that shows my little one is in fact a girl, and she spins the photo a few times and purses her lips as her eyes slide from the picture and land on mine. She looks completely confused, which I can so understand, because I had zero clue what I was looking at earlier either. “I have no damn clue what it is I’m looking for. Help a sister out. So is it a girl or boy?”

I point at the photo. “See? No ball sack and little tootsie roll, just a hotdog bun…I’M HAVING A GIRL!” I can’t contain my excitement any longer, and now I’m screaming with excitement right along with Gia. We’re hugging each other and both shouting, “Oh. My. God!”

It takes us a good thirty minutes to come down from the high we’re riding. She’s been my best friend since the third grade, and we both agreed we’d need to have girls first when we ever had babies so we could make them be little besties like us. Gia has a one-year-old little girl named Aaliyah, who is the most adorable child on the planet. It’s funny she named her that, seeing as Gia is the spitting image of the late R&B singer, and her daughter is definitely a mini-me of her mommy.

Gia stays for another hour, helps me get my suitcases packed, and then loads them into my car. It was hard, but we were able to say goodbye without crying. I told her the excitement of New Year’s will only magnify with us being apart during Christmas. Her mother is babysitting Aaliyah for her and her fiancé, Deacon, so they can go out with me. It was supposed to be a couple’s thing, but with Jase and me not talking, it’s looking like I’ll be flying solo that night.

This is the longest we’ve been apart, and I can’t help but fear that this time it’s permanent. I hate myself for wishing he’d come back and try to make things work, because we’ve done this little dance one too many times, and each time ends with me heartbroken. But he is the father of my baby, so I feel like I owe it to her to try and give her a family with both parents.

Some time away is exactly what I need. Maybe leaving for a few weeks will help Jase realize what he’s throwing away too. I hear that familiar voice in the back of my mind telling me I’m making wishes that are unreachable. Maybe I am. I hope talking to Ella will help me see things from another perspective and make it easier to decide what it is I need to do.