Monstrous (24 page)

Instead a woman trips over me, her foot catching on my rib and robbing me of my breath.

“What're you doing, missy?” Hers is not the calm tone Father uses. It's gruff and . . . irritated. That's the word. She's unhappy with me for blocking her path. I crawl to the side amid curious gazes as she
harrumphs
and passes.

So much happens all at once here, it's a wonder the humans can stand it. I want to go back to the forest, to the quiet peace and low chitters of animals. My eardrums are ready to explode.

But I must find Ren.

I stagger to my feet and stumble into the crowd. They push and I shove back.

“Hey!”

“Watch it!”

I reach a break in the throng and pause to catch my breath. A rib throbs in my chest. I have no idea where I am. I didn't have time to take Father's map. The crowd turned me around. I'm dying to fly out of here, if only to get fresh air and solitude.

But I came here for Ren and I'm not leaving until I find him. Tears prick at my eyes, but I blink them back.

The ground rumbles and I flatten my body against the nearest building. No comforting shadows to hide in now. A rectangular formation of men with swords on their belts marches down the street. They don't glance at me or any of the people milling around. They're full of purpose and motion.

That's what I need to do. Move purposefully. I take a deep, steadying breath and step out into the street again, following the guards. They know where they're going, and the people part to let them pass, filling in the space immediately after. Following them is not as easy as I'd hoped. It's like swimming upstream. I must get through this. My hands sweat and I can barely hold my cloak shut. My hood slips off my head every few minutes and I pause to adjust it, only to be jostled by the next cart or person. Walking through so many sweating humans makes me feel dirty and nauseous.

By the time I catch up to the guards, my body trembles and I'm sure I will vomit.

“Kym!”

We've reached the little square with the fountain. Our fountain. Ren sits on the opposite rim and waves. He isn't
angry. I'm so relieved, I could cry.

Before I can run toward him, a small voice chills me to the core.

“Mama, what's that?”

A little girl points at me. Her mother gasps.

I'm dizzy. I'm such a fool. My skin is slick with sweat—my tail slipped down my leg and now peeks out from beneath my cloak. In all the confusion I hadn't noticed.

Father will be even angrier with me now.

I whirl back to Ren. His waving slows and he tilts his head, confused. No sign of last night's fury mars his face. Has he already forgiven me?

Hands grab me from behind, ripping my cloak. Air cools my wings in a shocking rush.

“Monster!” cry the two women clutching my cloak.

“No,” I murmur, pressing my hands to my ears. I'm not a monster. The wizard is a monster. I'm a hybrid. I'm here to save these people from the wizard.

“Monster! Monster!” The cry catches fire through the crowd and all eyes stare at me. Hands shackle my wrists. “Monster! Burn her!”

Burn? Oh Father, how wrong I was! They're as horrid as you claimed!

“No!” I scream, spinning to shake off my captors. I sting two men with my tail in the process, and they drop like coins into the fountain. The tears can't be held back now. I gaze one last time at Ren. Shock covers his warm face. Disbelief fills his wonderful brown eyes.

Even he thinks I'm a monster.

Instinct is all I am, all I can feel. All that matters.

I spread my wings to their full length, preparing to take off and leave the screeching mass of people—and Ren—far behind.

But before I can reach the safety of the air, something hard connects with the back of my head and everything slips away into black.

MY HEAD RESTS ON SOMETHING THAT PRICKLES MY CHEEK. WHEN I JOLT
up, the something sticks to it. I pull it off my face—hay. I'm in a dark room with one door and an earthen floor haphazardly dotted with bits of hay.

They caught me. I wasn't careful enough, I didn't heed Father's warnings well enough. I let my guard down, and now I'm here. Wherever that may be.

How long have I been unconscious? If a day has passed, Father will worry. If it's more than that, he will be beside himself. I was so stupid! How could I let myself be caught?

And what must Ren think of me? Finding out what I am in such a manner? I ache to explain myself to him.

I rest my head on the floor, letting the cold seep into my skin and temper the flush in my cheeks. The back of
my head is sore, but I don't have time to worry about that. I must escape. I must save the girls. Or all Father's work will be for nothing.

My hand flies to my throat. The black ribbon choker Father gave me remains around my neck. My sleeves are long enough to cover my patchwork arms, too. They may not have seen my bolts. Or my multicolored skin. There's hope I might be able to convince them I'm just a hybrid. A creature that they think died out a long time ago.

Short of ripping my way through the humans, what else can I do? Hurting them is not an option. Maybe I can convince them to let me go.

A hundred maybes and what ifs flutter through my brain.

The knob on my cell door jiggles and creaks. I'm on my feet in two seconds flat. This is better. When the guard comes in, I will overpower him—that should be easy if it's only one—and return to Father as fast as I can. It doesn't matter if the city folk see me fly; they already know about my wings. I only hope they have not connected me to Father. He said they did not trust his science. If they discover he created me . . .

Another jiggle and the door slowly opens. I wait behind it, ready to pounce.

Ren's head pokes into the room. My breath catches in my throat. I retract my claws and wind my tail around my leg.

“Kym,” he says as he sees me standing behind the door, frozen in surprise.

The world halts on its axis. Neither of us can move. Neither of us dares to breathe. I'm so terrified, I can't even tremble.

Is he here to kill me? Have they charged him with that task?

“You're all right.” He lowers his voice as he shuts the door behind him and the earth moves again. “Look, the citizens think you're the one taking their girls.”

My face blooms red. I can't meet his eyes. He keeps his distance on the other side of the small room. Fear hovers in the air between us, threatening to engulf us both.

“I don't understand this.” He gestures to my wings, wincing. “But I can't believe you'd hurt anyone. I really thought I knew you.” His expression crumples in confusion.

I'm speechless. Ren speaks as though he has no memory of the night he caught me taking a girl—as though he never saw me doing exactly what the city folk fear. How is that possible? The expression on his face when he caught me flashes through my mind and I cringe. No, if he remembered, he wouldn't defend me.

The question is: why doesn't he remember?

“Kym, please, say something?”

I want desperately to ask him about the last time we spoke, but I hold my tongue. “How long have I been here?” I say instead.

“A day and a half.” He shifts his weight to his other foot uneasily.

“They let you in?” I confess, I would have thought I'd be better guarded than that.

Ren gives a wry laugh and folds his arms over his chest. “I waited until it got dark and then tricked my way in. I heard them talking earlier in the square. I . . . I can't let them do . . . what they want to do to you.”

Tiny shards of ice needle over my skin. “What? What do they want to do?”

Ren looks away. “It doesn't matter. I'm getting you out. You'll be safe.”

The cries of the crowd return to me:
Monster! Burn her! Burn the monster!

“They want to burn me,” I whisper. Father was right. Why did I ever doubt him? If he was right about them, could he be right about Ren? If I remind him of what I've done, that I rescue the girls, will he want to burn me too? Or should I take his memory loss as a reprieve and keep up my lies?

“They won't. But I have to ask you something first.” Ren pauses, gripping his elbows so tightly his fingers turn bone white. “What are you?”

The spark of fear hovering in his eyes makes my heart sink. He may not remember the other night, but I have lost him nonetheless.

My brain latches onto the answer I've prepared to tell him if he ever accidentally saw my true form.

“Where I'm from, there are still hybrids. I know you don't believe they exist anymore, but you're wrong. I'm proof.”

Ren's eyes widen. “But where?”

“I cannot tell you.” This is where I stumble a bit. I've
never gotten this far in my daydreams. “For their protection, you know.”

Ren runs his fingers through his hair and shakes his head. “I guess I can't blame you for wanting to keep your family's location a secret. Not after this.”

An uncomfortable silence fills the room.

“But why have you been coming to Bryre?” Ren finally asks.

“Curiosity, that part was always true,” I say. “I couldn't help wanting to know more about humans, and couldn't pass up the opportunity to discover Bryre with you. If you recall, I did try to avoid you at first.”

He smiles sadly. “I was quite insistent on knowing you, wasn't I?”

All I can do is swallow down the lump forming in my throat.

Ren moves toward the door, then holds something out to me. “Here, you'll need this.”

My cloak. I hadn't even noticed he carried it before. “Thank you,” I say, throwing it around my shoulders.

“Come on, I'll get you out of here.”

We tiptoe from the room. In the hall beyond, a guard slumps over a table. I give Ren a questioning look and he answers with a smirk. “A bottle of rum laced with a strong sleeping tonic. Works every time.”

He leads me down several passages and eventually out into the welcoming darkness. It feels like I am coming home. Bryre was not familiar to me at all in the daylight.

“Go,” he says, “run.”

I can hold my peace no longer. “Ren, why are you doing this? Why don't you hate me like everyone else in Bryre?” My face is suddenly hot and my eyes sting. I don't breathe until he answers.

“Because I know you.”

Pressure builds behind my eyes, making them burn. “Don't I frighten you?”

He laughs unsteadily. “Honestly? Yes. But I can't blame you for hiding it. I'd have done the same thing if I were you.”

Confusion makes my head ache. “But what about—”

“Shh! Someone's coming!” he whispers. “Go! Now!” He shoves me into the alley and I run away fast and willingly. I'm followed only by my lingering questions.

FATHER MUST BE WORRIED SICK. I FEEL TERRIBLE THAT I DOUBTED HIM,
and have strayed so far from my path. But I cannot return home. Not yet. I cannot escape the uneasiness I feel at the thought of Father sending Ren away. Sometimes I wonder if Father is a little misguided. If he might be wrong.

Yet he was right about the people of Bryre—they do fear me, hate me.

I find my way to the river in the wee hours of the morning, and I kick my legs in the water, watching the early-morning sun glint off it, and hope that Batu appears. He is the only one who expects me to be . . . just me. In that, I will not disappoint. Not like I've disappointed Father and Ren. Their saddened faces haunt me despite the
flowers and greenery on the riverbank.

My mind keeps wandering back to Ren and his inexplicable forgiveness. What could have happened? Does the wizard have him under a spell? But why would the wizard have him forget what I did? Unless that wasn't the only memory he lost . . .

A terrible thought blindsides me.

Ren didn't remember anything the first time I stung him either, and now, after I stung him a second time, his memory is clouded again. The girls never remember me or how they get to our cottage. The guards always seem shocked when they see my monstrous form, even if I've stung them several nights in a row.