Montana Rescue (The Wildes of Birch Bay Book 2) (24 page)

“Now’s as good a time as any.” Nate held his arms out to his side. “Drop ’em. I’ll plant one on you right here.”

Someone cleared their throat, stopping the two of them in mid pop-up fight, and Nick and Nate both turned. Gabe and Jenna stood there, Jenna’s eyes round.

“Daddy,” she whispered. There was dried ice cream circling her mouth. “Uncle Nick said a bad word.”

“Yes, he did, sweetheart.” Gabe scowled. “You two boys about through playing?”

“You can kiss it, too,” Nick said under his breath.

Jenna blinked up at the three of them, thoroughly intrigued, and Gabe took her hand and pivoted. “We’ll wait in the truck.”

After they walked away, Nick shot his twin a glance. And surprisingly, the fire that had flared so quickly between them was gone. What was left was a calmness Nick wasn’t sure he’d ever seen with his brother.

“Don’t push her away,” Nate repeated. “She’s good for you. Wait for her. And
then
be there when she needs you.”

Chapter Twenty-One

A
soft moan drifted into the darkened room as Nick and Harper slowly moved together. He pressed lingering kisses above her ear, and without hesitation, filled her body with his.

After dinner with his family, Harper had invited Nick back to her house. He’d followed her over, then she’d taken his hand in hers and led him down the hallway and straight to the master bedroom. They’d been in there for nearly an hour now. Their lovemaking had been slow, and there had been no bells or whistles. Just him touching her and her touching him. And he knew that this was exactly where he wanted to be.

“Hurry, Nick,” she whispered against his neck, and he nodded. He was getting there, too.

He brought his mouth to hers, and he showed her without words what she meant to him. She clung, with both lips and hands, as he pushed them higher, her soft whispers of noise no louder than his low grunts. And as he neared completion, she opened the door and walked through with him. With one last thrust, they both crested. It was explosive, but at the same time, like tumbling down a mountain in slow motion. They rolled and bounced, and held each other, and when they finally landed at the bottom, they were out of breath and staring in awe.

After catching his breath, Nick gave her one last peck of his lips, and rolled to his side. He brought her with him. He didn’t want to let go of her yet.

They lay like that for several moments, neither saying a word, before Nick felt Harper drift off to sleep. Moving was the last thing he wanted to do, but he forced himself to get up long enough to dispose of the condom. The remaining light from the sunset was just about to fizzle out, so he left the bathroom light on and pulled the door almost closed. It provided a faint glow into the room, but not enough to disturb either one of them.

A couple of hours later, Harper stirred at his side, and Nick woke up. She turned a lazy smile up at him before pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“You’re staying tonight,” she told him.

“I hadn’t been planning on going anywhere.”

“I just mean, you
have
to stay. Because if you go home, you’ll have to deal with your family.”

This made him chuckled. “I almost feel bad for making you be there tonight.”

“Ohmygoodness, that was the most uncomfortable dinner I’ve ever been a part of.” Her hand slid up his chest until one finger touched him just below the chin. Then she drew an invisible line along his skin, down to the dip in his throat. “But for the record, you didn’t make me go. I rarely do anything I don’t want to do.”

“I know. Thank you for going.”

“I’m actually glad I didn’t miss it. If ever I needed a reminder to be grateful for my family, even if they
only mean well
”—she gave a fake shudder—“all I have to do is recall tonight. I do feel bad for your brother, though.”

“Gabe?”

“Well, I feel bad for all of you for having Michelle as a sister-in-law. Good grief, she has a talent, and she’s honed it well. Make everyone as miserable as she is.” Harper stopped talking abruptly, and Nick glanced down at her. She grimaced. “But . . . does Gabe know he married your mother?”

“Right?” Nick shook his head in disbelief. “Who does that?”

“And then Nate . . .”

Nick held his breath when she brought up his twin’s name. “You like him, right? Because he likes you. In fact, we talked about you after we got back last night.” After returning to Birch Bay, Nick had stayed at the apartment with Nate. They’d had a good time hanging out, and Harper’s name had definitely come up more than once. Nick couldn’t seem to
not
talk about her.

“I do like him,” Harper confirmed. “I remember him from when you two were younger, when I thought you were both essentially the same. But I see the difference now. He’s a little more rough around the edges, but at the same time . . . sweet.”

“He won’t like you as much when I tell him you think he’s sweet.”

She laughed. “Yes, he will. He’s a softy like you. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

Nick snorted at Harper’s words. Nate would really not like hearing that. Yet Nick had every intention of telling him.

He shifted so he could better face Harper and took her hand in his. He kissed her palm as he thought about the offer his agent had presented to him. And not only about the offer, but about his dad being back in town. It was time to go home. Get back to his own life. But he didn’t want to leave Harper.

Which meant, it was time to talk about the future.

“I think this could be something,” he said the words quietly, and then waited for her eyes to find his. “I
want
it to be something,” he added.

“But we’re . . .” She shook her head and a wrinkle of confusion crossed her brow. “We’re good like we are, Nick. We’re fun. Why change that?”

“I’m supposed to go home this week.” He pictured his small apartment, with the only personal contribution he’d added in the seven years he’d been there a few pictures of his two nieces. He didn’t want to go home. He didn’t want that life anymore.

“Butte’s not that far away,” Harper pointed out. “If you want to continue this, I can come see you once in a while. In fact—”

“I want marriage.”

Her mouth snapped shut.

“I want a family, Harper. I didn’t know that before, but things have changed for me since I came home. I want more than riding bulls.”

That was not happiness he saw in her eyes. “And you think you want that with me?”

“I think I might. You’re special to me. You’re the only woman who’s ever made me think about kids. About growing old with someone.” He kissed the tips of her fingers and ignored the fact that her shoulders had gone tight and that she’d already pulled a couple of inches away. “I’d like to see where we can go.”

She looked away from him then. In the tight quarters of lying together, there wasn’t much space to avoid each other, but she did an excellent job of it nonetheless. Her gaze locked somewhere above his head, and sadness filled her face. Nick’s heart began to break before she ever opened her mouth.

“It
can’t
go anywhere, Nick.” She swallowed. “My chance for happily ever after was with Thomas.
He
was my love.” She closed her eyes. “And I don’t want kids.”

Though her bluntness about Thomas burned, Nick held on to hope. She was just scared. He had to make her see that Thomas didn’t have to be her one and only.

“People get second chances, Harper. And I don’t believe for a second that you don’t want kids. You have a room you’d intended to be a nursery. You’re amazing with children. Jenna fell in love with you on the spot.”

Her eyes opened and she stared at his chest. But even more telling, she pulled her hand from his. “I did want children. Once. But that part of me died with Thomas.”

Fear bloomed inside him.
Damn.

He shouldn’t have said anything. Not yet. She wasn’t ready.

“It’s not something to be answered today.” His words sounded weak. And it pissed him off. But he couldn’t simply give up. “We can stay as we are for now. But I just wanted you to know that things have shifted for me. I see a future for us. It’s only fair that you know that.”

Her eyes finally came back to his. “Then in good conscience, I can’t let this go any further. Because I’m not going to change. That isn’t what I want.”

And he finally got it.
He
wasn’t what she wanted.

He wasn’t enough.

He had never been more than a good time for her.

Pain sliced deep. How could he have been so mistaken? But he could see the conviction in her face. She didn’t want him. Not the way he wanted her. He should have known. Hadn’t his mother taught him that he couldn’t make someone love him?

Without another word, he nodded. He stood from her bed and began dressing. When she remained silent, the hurt only intensified. There would be no second-guessing her decision.

As he yanked on his boots, she finally moved, standing from the bed and disappearing into her closet. She came out wearing a robe, and he put up a hand.

“Don’t bother. I can see myself out.” When he got to the bedroom door, he paused but didn’t let himself look back. She said nothing, nor did he hear movement. “Good luck with your life, Harper. It’s been nice.”

Silence was the only thing that followed him out of the room.

At the sound of the front door closing, Harper remained where she was. Shock coursed through her, but mostly she felt nothing. Why had Nick said all that? Why had he even felt it? He wasn’t supposed to want more.

His truck started up outside, and she pictured him driving away. She’d hurt him. But she hadn’t meant to.

But what else could she have done? She couldn’t let him go on thinking this could be something. She’d done the right thing.

The silence in the house suddenly seemed to ring loud in her ears, and she began wandering through the downstairs rooms. She hated the white so much. It taunted her tonight. Pointing out how ridiculous she’d been to change everything. The taunting was so bad that she found herself heading upstairs to get away from it. Maybe she’d watch a movie.

Only, she ended up outside of Thomas’s room.

She put a hand to the door, then leaned into it and closed her eyes. Resting her forehead against the cool wood, anger began to build. How could Nick ask for more? Had he listened to nothing she’d told him all this time? She’d
killed
her own husband.

She couldn’t go on from that. People didn’t get second chances after that.

And
then
she’d let her baby die.

She shook her head back and forth against the door, denying all the words that had come out of Nick’s mouth. He didn’t see them going anywhere. They weren’t anything. Just sex. Just passing the time. She couldn’t have more. Because she was the one who should have died.

She stopped shaking her head, her chest now rising with each breath, and put both hands flat on the door. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair. She and Thomas were supposed to be a team.

Turning, she slid to the floor and closed her eyes.

She didn’t want any of this anymore. Not the feelings, the pain. Not this house.

She didn’t want to live in a house that didn’t fit her. With money that didn’t belong to her. And spend every single waking moment of every single day thinking about what she no longer had.

But if she moved, she’d have to remove Thomas. She’d have to go into this room.

There were people she could hire to handle it. They could pack up his things, and even send it all to charity. Or to his parents. She hadn’t talked to them since the funeral, but they might want his stuff. She’d tried to make Thomas proud during those first few weeks. He’d never stopped loving his parents, so she’d called and left messages. She’d wanted to check in on them. But they’d never returned her calls.

In a fit of misery months later, she’d tried once more. That time, their house phone had been disconnected. If she could have grieved with them—with people who’d once loved Thomas—that might have made things better.

The radio on the first floor burst to life, and she went still as she listened. The missing hikers had been found. Hurt, but all safe. The sixteen-year-old was in critical condition, and was being transported to the hospital. “I’m sorry, Thomas.” She rolled her head back and forth again, seeing nothing but pain. She and Thomas would have been out there tonight. “I didn’t mean to mess everything up.”

Standing on trembling legs, she took a moment to steady herself before returning downstairs. But instead of heading down the hall, back to her white dungeon, she turned before she could think about what she was doing and opened the door. Stale air hit first. Next was the sight of the cardboard boxes stacked one on top of the other. They lined the far wall, holding all the knickknacks, pictures, and random paraphernalia that had once been her husband’s. Spread out in the room around her was ski equipment, hiking gear, a mountain bike, and weight-lifting machines. Anything and everything he’d ever loved taking part in. The room was full of Thomas.

Yet Thomas wasn’t here.

She moved through the carnage until she reached the closet and opened the doors. After her mother had brought all of his things back inside the house, Harper had moved the totes up here and had spent one painstakingly long afternoon rehanging each and every article of clothing.