Montana Secrets (3 page)

“Look at her. So loving and full of life. You are her example, Seth. If nothing else, your pride alone should keep you fighting, just so you can show her how it's done.” He wouldn't look at her, but she was glad to note he didn't take his eyes off Lexi.

“Pride doesn't change anything. I could've walked after that horse threw me if pride had anything to do with healing.”

She nodded, understanding. Pride certainly didn't even the odds, she'd learned that as well. “Then what about responsibility? Would you let Lexi give up?
Look at her!
” she ordered when his glance left the window. “Look at her and tell me what you'd do if she'd been the one thrown off the horse. Would you let her stop living? Stop playing? Would you let her shove everyone away and hide in her room? Or would you love her so much you'd
help her cope? Let her lean on you for strength when she was tired and sad? You're only a cripple—” Lord, how she hated that word! “—as long as you cripple yourself. It's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and
do
something about it.”

“Go to hell.”

“I've already been there,” she countered with a laugh, the sound emerging from her so bitter and flagrantly pained, she drew Seth's narrowed gaze. Inhaling deeply, she wished she could have taken the words back. Seth didn't know why she'd left him, why she'd run, and he never would.

“All I'm saying is, give that little girl out there some credit. She wants you any way she can get you, and she doesn't care if you walk or crawl or
roll.
”

“Here's the other tray.”

Grace turned to find Maura standing just outside the doorway. Reining in her scattered emotions, she crossed the room to retrieve her lunch, but Seth's sister-in-law wouldn't let go of the dishes.

“Don't give up. He'll fight for Lexi if he'll fight for anyone. Jake's always said Seth is as much her father as he is.” Maura gave her a hesitant smile of encouragement and released her grip on the food-laden tray.

Grace watched Maura leave the room before she retraced her steps to the chair and sat down. Seth's
stomach growled once again, and he spared her a glare before his hand shot out and picked up a chicken leg. He took a bite, another and another, as if he hadn't eaten in years. At least she'd made him hungry. Seth's body had recognized the exercise and extra expenditure of energy even if Seth's nerves hadn't. But eating once wasn't going to replace the weight or muscle tone he'd lost. Nor give him the nutrients he needed to fight off winter colds and flu.

“What about dessert?” he demanded suddenly, not looking at her. “If Maura made my favorites, there should be a raspberry cobbler in the kitchen.”

She hesitated, noting with no small amount of surprise that his plate was nearly empty while hers remained virtually untouched.

“I think she mentioned a cobbler earlier when I arrived. Want me to go see?” she asked, balancing her tray on the table by his as she stood. She could use the time to regain her composure.

Seth shrugged, not looking at her.

“Fine,” she said. “Sit tight and I'll be right back.”

Seth waited until Grace left his bedroom before he wheeled himself to the door and shut it as quietly as possible, his fingers hesitating momentarily before he twisted the lock into place.

Mind made up, he wheeled himself to the door connecting the spare bedroom to his and locked it
as well before rolling himself back across the room and repositioning himself in front of the hospital tray. His progress was certainly a lot easier thanks to Maura and Jake's cleaning, and like it or not, he was going to have to let them come in every once in a while just so he could get across the floor.

And once he succeeded in getting them to leave?

Not having any answers, he glared down at his plate. His stomach still had a curl of hunger, and he glanced at the door and frowned, wishing he could've gotten his piece of cobbler before locking Grace out.

“Seth?”

The knob twisted until it encountered the lock, and he heard Grace's gusty sigh through the door and all the way across the room where he sat.

“Okay, I get it. We're done for the day,” she called, her voice muffled by layers of wood. “I have your cobbler, though,” she said in a singsong tone, the one she'd used to tease him way back when.

Despite his anger, he smiled grimly at her obvious delight in withholding his treat. The woman had a mean streak.

“I could leave it out here if you're interested, but then, you'd have to open the door to get it and you never know—I just might kidnap you to finish out your exercises today.” She followed the warning with a laugh and then thick silence filled the air, full of expectation.

Seth knew she still stood on the other side of the paneled door. He could feel her. Was aware of her in a way he should have been aware of his lower extremities.

“Seth?”

She said it as if she thought he'd gone somewhere.

“I still need to fill out those papers. Red tape, you know? I'll come by this evening after dinner and we can go through them then. Oh, I almost forgot. You get a rematch tomorrow, bright and early. Better plan your strategy if you plan on winning.”

A purely feminine chuckle sounded, capturing his attention and his interest whether he liked it or not. It also grated on his nerves like nobody's business, and he reminded himself she was trying hard to get a rise out of him. The trick was not to play along.

“Can't you just see it? Beating me at arm wrestling and getting me out of your hair?”

He sure could. Which said a lot, considering how long it had been since he'd found himself intrigued by anything. The fantasy of throwing her out of his house held an infinite appeal.

“You know, if you don't say something I just might assume the worst and be forced to come in after you.”

He leaned an elbow on the arm of his chair and groaned. After this morning he had no doubt she would do exactly what she said, Jake hot on her
heels followed by the rest of the blasted household. A man should have peace in his house.

Contrary to what they believed, he wasn't giving up, he just wanted…to be left alone. To not be a burden. For Jake and Maura to go on with the plans they'd made before his accident and he'd ruined all their lives.

“I'll find a way in.”

“Go. Away!”

He heard her laughing at him on the other side of the door. A belly laugh. It reminded him of so many things. So many smiles. He hadn't seen Grace smile much until after they'd begun dating. Then it had become a challenge, discovering what it would take for him to get one of those blindingly beautiful grins of hers.

“All right, then, fine. Have it your way for now. But I'll see you later, Seth. Oh, and go ahead and enjoy my lunch. I'd hate for it to go to waste.”

For the first time, he noticed her food and leaned across the table, snatching a chicken wing from her plate. Her loss was his gain.

“While I enjoy
your
piece of hot, gooey, raspberry cobbler…with vanilla ice cream. Oh,
yum.
Seth, this is
sooo
good! Sure you don't want to open the door for some?”

Seth tossed the chicken wing onto the plate with a curse.

G
RACE DIDN'T HAVE THE
courage to face Jake and Maura after being so easily outwitted by Seth, so she dug into Seth's slice of cobbler to ease the emptiness of her stomach, and then left the house for a walk.

The barnyard was empty of humans so she ambled in that direction, taking in the landscape she'd missed more than she realized. White-capped mountains towered in the distance, and overhead, blue, cloud-spotted Montana sky stretched on forever. Big-sky country was a sight to behold. Beautiful and humbling due to its sheer size alone.

Brent missed Montana so much. When she'd taken her younger brother with her to college on the east coast, he'd been sullen and angry, upset that she'd disrupted his life so drastically. At the time she'd been desperate to get away, to discover who she was out of North Star. But now as she looked out at the landscape she better understood Brent's behavior and what she'd dismissed as teenaged angst.

Grace breathed deep and let the crisp, fresh air ease the tension lining her shoulders. Maybe returning to North Star wouldn't be so bad after all. Maybe her shrink was right and the nightmares she'd been having ever since Jake had called to ask for her help would dissipate once she'd settled in and realized nothing here could hurt her anymore.

Horses roamed in the paddock, and she leaned against the metal bars, glancing around at Seth's large log home and outbuildings as the scent of horses and hay and manure converged in the air. Corn stalks gathered in a mass and tied with twine decorated both sides of the porch steps, the bases layered with pumpkins, mums and gourds. A scarecrow guarded the front door, wearing a red bandanna and cowboy hat, and to the left of the house, a colorful witch had flown into a tree. The poor witch's arms and legs stuck out in front of the tree while her broom and hat jutted out from behind. She smiled at the sight, having a good idea what it felt like.

A distant sound caught her attention, and as she watched, the screen door opened with a squeak and closed with a bang after Seth's niece ran out.

The five-year-old slowed down long enough to maneuver the steps, pausing at the bottom and looking over her shoulder when the screen door opened again. This time Seth's brother, Jake, and his wife,
Maura, exited, and Grace straightened, attempting to prepare herself for the conversation about to take place.

She and Jake had been friends a long time. Ever since Todd Burchett had cornered her against her locker in high school and tried to steal a kiss. Jake had stopped him, and from then on, kept an eye on her like a protective older brother. Through the years their relationship had undergone changes, especially when she and Seth broke up, and again when Jake had married Maura. Their e-mails had become fewer and farther between, down to an e-card at Christmas and every now and again a birthday when they weren't too busy to remember.

Lexi took off ahead of her parents, running toward her as freely as only a child could run. The horses drew her interest and the little girl climbed onto the paddock rails beside Grace.

“Hi.”

“Hi, yourself.”

“He locked you out, didn't he?” Jake demanded bluntly once he'd come within talking distance.

All she could offer was a tense smile. “How'd you guess?”

Maura shook her head as she smoothed the material of her navy maternity blouse over her rounded stomach and held it in place when it threatened to blow up in the breeze.

A trace of envy stabbed deep, then disappeared. Grace was happy for Jake and Maura. Thrilled Jake had done so well for himself. But sometimes, like now, she wished for more, too. More of a life, a special someone. A child. She could have had it all with Seth.

Except she'd run away instead.

“I'm sorry, Grace. I thought with you he'd do better.” Jake glared at the house in obvious frustration. “I'll go talk to him.”

Grace shook her head. “No, it's okay. He needs time to get over his surprise at seeing me. I just sort of blew in and bullied him into therapy because I was anxious to get our first confrontation over with. We'll work this out on our own.”

“You think you can get him to come around?” Maura asked hesitantly before exchanging an indecipherable look with her husband. “Grace…now that you're here…you should probably know you're Seth's sixth therapist.”

“Sixth?”
Nerves rapidly returning, she remembered her first glimpse of Seth's room and rounded on Jake. “There were only two therapists listed in his file. You
said
you'd hired them while you waited for me to finish up with my last case.”

“I, uh, figured what you didn't know wouldn't hurt you,” Jake told her, his expression sheepish. “Besides,” he added quickly when she opened her
mouth. “I knew you'd get all the information when you got here, so what was the harm of holding just a little back?”

“A little? Five therapists is a little?”

Jake planted his hands on his hips and nodded. “I didn't want to scare you off. Not when I knew how hard it would be to get you back here considering how things ended between you two.”

Much as she hated to admit it, Jake was right. Had she known the extent of Seth's difficulties and mood, that she would be
sixth
in a long line of therapists who'd already called it quits, she probably would've used them as an excuse not to take him on. No wonder Seth was so upset. He was probably giving up hope himself. But if five therapists had come and gone, what made Jake think she could do any better?

Maura stepped closer. “You will stay, Grace, won't you?”

Grace stared into the woman's pixie-ish face, her strawberry-blond curls blowing in the breeze as her blue-green gaze pleaded with hers to do something about her present situation. Until this morning she'd never met Maura, never even spoken to her on the phone, and yet in that instant a bond formed.

“I can't work miracles.”

“No, I realize that,” Maura said quickly, “but you're already here. You've unpacked. Please stay.”

Maura's desperation called to her and she let out another gusty sigh. She stared at the house, at Seth's windows. Maybe she'd come full circle. She'd left North Star with little money, a broken heart and more bad memories and baggage than any one person should have to carry—and now she'd returned with basically the same.

“Grace, I should've told you about the others, but—my only excuse is that I was afraid you'd back out, and after seeing Seth today, you can understand why we're so desperate. Maura and I talked about it, and we thought maybe you could help him fight this.”

Maybe, maybe not. Seth was on the brink of something, but what? Her professional opinion was that he could go either way. Hit bottom and realize the only way out of his present situation was up, or hit bottom and never return.

“I'll need to review all of the notes from those therapists you didn't tell me about,” she murmured without taking her eyes off Seth's window.

“The file's in my office ready for you.”

She blinked, looking back at Jake. “And Seth will have to come around or else I
will
move on so you can find someone who can get through to him before—” She broke off, acutely aware of Lexi's presence beside her.

“That's fine.” Jake's dark expression mirrored her concern.

“I don't want you to go,” Lexi chirped, proving she had indeed been listening to their conversation. The little girl turned sideways on the rails and held on with one arm, wrapping the other around Grace's neck and hugging. “You just got here and I like you better'n all the other therapists.”

Grace laughed at Lexi's comment and Jake's coinciding wince. “Well, considering there were so
many
of them, I'll take that as high praise, Lexi. Thank you.”

Obviously relieved, Maura leaned against a supporting metal post and sagged, her eyelids drooping as she rubbed the small of her back. “Thank goodness,” she said with a smile. “It'll be nice to have another woman around. There's entirely too much testosterone on this ranch, and the parade of male therapists going through didn't help.”

Jake wrapped an arm around Maura's shoulders and pulled her against his side, and Grace realized exactly how pregnant Maura was. She straightened. “Maura, please don't feel as if you have to entertain me. I'm used to being on my own when I'm not working with a patient. You don't need to keep me company if you don't feel up to it.”

Maura's cheeks colored as she yawned again. “Oh! I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude—”

“You're not rude, you're pregnant,” Grace insisted. “And pregnant women need lots of rest. Es
pecially after a day like today. You've been on your feet since I got here.”

Jake rubbed his wife's shoulders and dropped a kiss on her cheek. “You want to go lie down? I'll keep an eye on Lexi and show Grace around.”

Maura's forehead wrinkled with a frown. “You can't. You've got to run over to see Phil Estes, remember?”

He grimaced. “Aah, no, I forgot all about that.”

“Phil's an accountant,” Maura explained, closing her eyes and sighing as Jake continued to massage. “Jake and Phil are swapping legal advice for accounting advice.”

“I'll watch Lexi,” Grace offered.

“Really? Thanks, Grace,” Jake said.

Maura's eyes popped open and she shook her head at her husband's quick acceptance. “But we couldn't possibly—You just got here and you've got to be as tired as I am after catching such an early flight and then dealing with Seth. Thank you, Grace, but we couldn't impose,” she said, sliding Jake a chiding glance. “We didn't ask you to come to babysit.”

“I know that,” Grace said with a wink at Lexi's hopeful expression. “But this way Lexi can give me the tour of the ranch from her eyes.”

“Yeah, yeah! I'm too big for a nap,” Lexi said. “And I want to show Grace the kittens 'n' Pebble 'n' Eeyore—”

“Eeyore?” Grace's smile widened as she watched the little girl's excitement grow.

Lexi giggled again, nodding rapidly. “He's a donkey and he's got great big ears! Bigger'n normal. An' Pebble's my pony.”

“Oh,”
Grace said, loving the expression Lexi wore as she described her friends. What was it like to be so innocent and carefree? At Lexi's age she was already more than a little world-wary, having listened to her mother and the man she'd thought was her father fighting for so many years.

“Well, looks like you two will get along great.” Jake flashed Grace a thankful smile over Maura's head.

“But— Grace, are you sure?”

“It's no problem, Maura. Really.”

“They'll be fine. You go lie down and get off your feet,” Jake ordered, squeezing Maura's shoulders one last time. “I'll be back in a couple hours, and if you've managed to sleep that long, I'll free Grace then. How's that?”

Maura nodded hesitantly as Lexi jumped to the ground and hopped up and down. The child grabbed Grace's hand and began tugging. “Let's go see the kittens!”

Grace slowly let Lexi pull her toward the barn. “Maura, go rest. We'll be fine. And stop worrying because I don't mind at all.”

Jake shot a stern look at his daughter. “Be good, brat.”

“I will,” Lexi promised. “Come on, Grace!”

“If you need to get into Seth's room, there's a key hanging inside the kitchen cupboard by the refrigerator,” Jake called, his voice echoing against the barn's surface. “Lexi can show you.”

“That's where Uncle Seff can't reach it.”

Grace paused long enough to glare at Jake, ignoring Lexi's tugging hands. “Locking the door is normal, too?”

Jake shrugged, sheepish once again. “When we've refused to do what he wants, yeah, he locks us out. I'll check on him before I go to Estes's house, but if the doors are still locked when you go in, don't be surprised. Just give him some time. He unlocks them when he gets hungry.”

Grace nodded, her thoughts once again focused on the man inside the house. What else hadn't Jake told her?

“Grace, come on!”

She looked down at Lexi and playfully pulled her hand free. “Race you there!”

Lexi squealed with excitement and took off running. Grace slowly sprinted after her.

Maura laughed, her hand still rubbing her lower back. “Oh, you two are making me tired just watching you! Have fun! And Grace? Thank you!”

Grace waved and followed Lexi around the paddock fence to the open barn doors and inside.

“The kittens're in here,” Lexi said, leading the way past empty stalls to the tack room in back.

Grace's footsteps halted as she looked around, remembering the high school graduation party Seth had hosted for Jake. She'd hidden away in the shadows of the barn to watch it all, overwhelmed by the freedom of being able to move and eat and talk without fear or repercussions.

That's where Seth had found her. He'd walked in to check on a mare nearing to foal and seen her in the shadows. Before long Grace and Seth were both in the stall with the mare, talking as though they'd always been friends instead of virtual strangers.

“Grace, back here! The mommy is all black wiff white feet. Like socks,” Lexi informed her, her expression all-knowing as she waited impatiently. “And all the kittens are black with socks, too. 'Cept for one. It's all white with a black nose. The mommy don't like it.”

“She doesn't?” Grace entered the tack room behind the little girl.

“No, she don't like it,” Lexi repeated, her face sliding into a deep frown as she looked around the room. “'Cause it don't look like her.” She peeked at Grace from beneath her lowered lashes. “Like I don't look like Uncle Seff.”

Startled by the comparison, Grace sank to her knees on the planked floor to be at eye level with the little girl, snagging a stray tendril near Lexi's bow mouth and curling it behind her tiny ear. “You don't look like your daddy, either, but he loves you, doesn't he?”