Montana Wild Bears: Books 1-4 Bundle (BBW Paranormal Werebear Shape Shifter Romance Boxed Set) (33 page)

“Jackie!” he screamed, his yells drowned out by the soulless roar of the fire. He could see right into where their bedroom had been, the back wall completely collapsed onto itself. One of the roof beams had fallen right in the middle of the bed, coming down with most of the ceiling and destroying the bed. There was no time to wallow on the implications. He sniffed the air again, his senses heightened by the abundant adrenaline that pumped through his veins.

Her car,
he thought feverishly, limping around to the front of the house again. Where her big Dodge pickup usually stood, there were nothing but fresh tracks. Ryder stared at the tire tracks leading down the mountain path, and an indescribable weakness came over him. He sunk down on his knees, watching in mute astonishment as his home burned down – the last vestige of the life he had built for himself and his clan in the Bitterroot range. And his mate was nowhere to be found.

For a long while, he just stared into the fire, trying to wrap his head around everything that had happened. Even the deafening noise of the flames couldn’t drown out the screams, roars and howls that mingled in his head. Senseless violence, souls lost who carried bloodlines so ancient that their ancestors had been roaming the mountains far before any mere human had set foot into the wild, untamed wilderness. And for what? A speck of land that could have been shared, and where there was enough room for two predators. The flood of emotions that washed over him was hard to describe, but above it all, the jagged tip of his missing mate stabbed at him the hardest.

Where are you, Jackie?
Ryder asked himself, looking down at his battered and bruised arms. Something glinted next to him in the shallow snow, catching his eye. He picked it up and his heart sank into the bottom of his stomach. It was Jackie’s ring, the smooth opal reflecting the reds and yellows of the slowly dying fire.

CHAPTER THREE

“I’m NOT going to talk to him. Not like this,” Jackie hissed, getting up off her bed and pacing back and forth along the length of the bedroom. She could feel Callie’s eyes on her, but she wouldn’t look at her. Instead, Jackie kept her eyes down and her lips pushed in a thin line. If she’d stopped, she thought she risked falling to the floor and heaving out tears that had been pushed down since Bitterroot. Seeing him had brought it all back as if it was yesterday, and the pain was so excruciating that it threatened to steal her breath.

“I can come with you,” Callie offered meekly, sitting on the edge of the bed. Jackie snorted in response, shaking her head furiously.

“No, that’s not what I meant. I’m not going to talk to him about what
he
wants to talk about. I can’t. I won’t.”

“Why?”

Yeah, Jackie? Why won’t you talk to the only man you’ve ever loved? The only man who could possibly put up with your bullshit?

“Maybe because he just went down a warpath, trying to kill my brothers? Because he attacked Jackson and Tess? Because his people went after Julian and Jonah?” Jackie caught Callie nodding from the corner of her eye, and it helped soothe the tide of panic rising within her. She’d been so good at hiding it under pure, unadulterated rage all the way up from Nevada and during her screaming session with Ryder and Jackson a week ago. But the longer she stayed, the weaker she felt. Staying so close to him and not going to him was torture, just as splitting and immediate as it had been when she’d left Bitterroot that night, leaving him to deal with the aftermath all on his own. She’d just left, without a word, without an explanation. It was unforgivable, and she couldn’t talk to him about it. It would strike her dead on the spot, she was sure. Or she’d melt right back into his arms and then it’d be even harder to explain why she left.

Get your shit together, Jackie. He attacked your brothers, he attacked your clan. He put your friends in danger. The man’s obviously lost whatever sanity he once possessed. And that is… completely your fault.

Jackie stopped, sinking to the floor with a groan, her back to the wall. She hid her face in her hands, gulping down the sobs that had wanted to bubble up since she’d laid eyes on him. He was tortured, alone and pained. She’d just needed one look at him to know that. For more than a year, she’d been dodging his calls and every other possible and impossible way he’d tried to get in contact with her. But now, being in Cabinet with Ryder not far from her, she was drowning in his presence. His aura wrapped around her like a blanket, and she could feel her guilt and grief strangling her as much as his anger and disappointment was.

“All fair points,” Callie said carefully. Jackie got the distinct feeling that the younger werebear had been trying to maneuver around landmines the moment she’d decided to step into Jackson and Tess’s home, and Jackie’s current hideaway. It had taken a fair amount of guts to approach Jackie with the topic of meeting with Ryder, and Jackie had to give Callie some props for that. Still, it did little to change her mind. “But I think you should give him a chance. He just wants to know what happened, Jackie.”

Jackie looked up at Callie sharply, lowering her hands to her drawn up knees.

“What happened?”

“Yes. He… he told me about Bitterroot. Me and Jonah. I’m only here because Jonah thought you should talk to him as well. It couldn’t make things any worse than they are, Jackie.” Callie was shuddering like a leaf. Jackie had been as surprised that Callie had dared make the decision to contact her when no one else did, as she had been about what was going on in Cabinet. For all Jackie knew, Callie had singlehandedly saved Ryder’s life, and the lives of many other werebears in the clans. As much as Ryder was a fearsome warrior, Jackie had no doubt that the Arder brothers would have made quick work of him. He was a match against any one of them individually and probably would have broken Jonah and Julian like toothpicks, but the Arder Alpha trifecta together was not something even Ryder’s rage could plow through.

“Jonah thought you should come here?” Jackie asked incredulously. Callie nodded, looking like a deer in the headlights, and Jackie let her forehead fall against her knees. Her little brother had always been on her side. Whatever Ryder told him had to be some very convincing stuff to get the battle-hardened Arder to budge. All of her brothers were protective to a fault, and she couldn’t imagine him agreeing to anything that could possibly cause her harm. That being the main reason why they’d let things escalate for months before anyone had got the bright idea of telling her what was going on. “So you’re ganging up on me now?”

“No, no! I just want you two to talk it out. I’m sure he’d understand if you’d just tell him… Whatever reasons you had for leaving had to be pretty convincing. He just needs to know. Jackie, he’s the shadow of a man. He’s turned hard since you left, like his father when he was the Alpha. The old Ryder hasn’t been anywhere in sight until now. When I talked to him, I saw glimpses of the man I remember. Kind, fair, strong, but not cruel. I don’t want that Ryder to disappear again, and I don’t think there’s any other way to keep him here unless you two talk it out.” Callie was blushing, her cheeks bright red. Jackie’s hands had balled into fists. Her eyes burned with tears that wanted desperately to come out, but she’d been keeping them down for ages. She wouldn’t crack now.

“Let me think about it,” Jackie said after a long silence. “Just tell him to not burn anything down while I decide, okay?” she asked weakly, receiving a toothy grin from Callie in response. “I think there’s been enough wanton destruction around here to last us a while.”

“Giving Ryder a few days might be a good idea anyway. You could smell the whiskey on him from a mile away.”

Jackie rolled her eyes. Ryder had always loved his whiskey when he was trying to work through something. With werebear metabolism, he could go through that stuff like water. Had to be some kind of a bender if he still reeked from it.

“I’ll get in contact with him myself, okay?”

Callie nodded in agreement and sprang up from the bed, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Jackie felt like she’d just taken on whatever load the Bitterroot bear had been carrying, and it had been stacked on top of the already impressive weight resting on her back. When Callie was reaching for the door handle, Jackie stopped her for a second.

“And Callie? Thank you for letting me know what was going on. I think this could have been a lot worse if I hadn’t come,” Jackie said softly. For a moment, she thought Callie was going to sink down to the floor right next to her and hug her, but Callie just made a small choking noise and skittered out of the room. Jackie smiled to herself.

She’s perfect for Jonah.

CHAPTER FOUR

The fresh air filled her lungs, her legs carrying her swiftly across the snow. Jackie loved the feeling of fresh snow under her paws and the cold, dewy crystals sticking to her coat. She hadn’t been in Cabinet in far too long, and the distinct crispness of mountain air was almost too distant of a memory. She had finally ventured out into the wild even though Jackson had urged everyone to be safe. Each breath was a slice of relief, and she’d long stopped trying to understand where her bear was taking her. Instead of trying to control it, she went with the beast – it had always known better than she had, anyway. Days had passed since she talked to Callie, and her head was so muddled with conflicting thoughts and emotions that she couldn’t stay indoors anymore. The only thing that ever seemed to help was a good run, so that’s what she went for.

Only when the distinct heavy curve of Yellowhead River snaked into view did Jackie slow her steps. She came to a halt at the very shore of the abundant river, ice licking at the small rocks in an early attempt to coat the water with ice. The massive brown head of the bear peered into the water for a scant moment, taking in the sight of herself before padding up along the river at a leisurely pace. It had been a while since she had been in bear form. There hadn’t been a lot of chances for a young werebear to stretch her legs in Mexico, not without raising some serious questions. As she got closer to the large clearing that marked the site of the conflict between the two clans, her steps slowed even further, until her roiling thoughts overpowered the animal spirit. The skin of the bear fell from her like a heavy coat, her powerful features shifting back into human form.

Jackie winced, a sharp stabbing pain going through her abdomen. Her hand went over her stomach instinctively, lingering there for a second. Instead of the soft, playful blues of her eyes that her brothers remembered, they looked positively jaded for a moment. She squared her jaw, tucking her hair back into a ponytail and walking right into the middle of the battlefield.

I wish this would stop happening. And why here?
she wondered, sitting down on a rock and turning to look at the grey, wintery river. Snow had hidden any sign of what had happened a scant week ago. The blood and the hammered ground polished smooth by hundreds of paws. As far as she knew, she could have been sitting on the very rock that almost took Callie’s life. The thought made her stony expression harden even further, her chest constricting.

What if this was all your fault? You had the power to stop it, to never have it happen at all. So why did you let this get so far?

The sky was dark blue, wisps of gray floating across it slowly. Her bear had as if conspired against her, bringing her to the one place where she was sure to find no solace. Tess had kept reminding her that no one had died, but Jackie had to wonder if that was true. Wasn’t Ryder – the man she knew and loved more than herself – dead now?. She hadn’t seen even a glimpse of him when they’d come face to face. Only a slight shimmer behind his eyes hinted at there being something other than a ruthless killer in front of her.

He’d stood as if made from rock, his head lowered. She’d raged at both him and Jackson for the better part of an afternoon, both of the men taking it with all the pride and grace that could be expected from two powerful Alphas, who got admonished by a woman barely measuring to their shoulder. Yet, neither one of them had tried to stop her, though she almost wished they had. Jackie smirked to herself, picturing herself pacing back and forth in Jackson’s living room, Ryder and Jackson standing at opposite ends of the rooms, while Tess tried hopelessly to make them all get along. Jackie had cussed like a sailor, and she didn’t regret a single word. But she did wish that Ryder would have said something.

She didn’t know what she’d expected when seeing Ryder again. Coldness? Anger? Hysteria? There had been none of it. He’d been the picture of calm, his eyes barely meeting hers. She hadn’t expected indifference. There was an odd disconnect between what she could sense and what he projected. Just like before, his aura had wrapped around her like a warm, protecting blanket. But looking at him, she couldn’t see any of it. Of course, she couldn’t blame him. She’d left him at the worst time of his life. Whatever he had to tell her or to yell at her, she deserved it. So why hadn’t he?

Jackie’s teeth grazed across her lower lip, the tip of her nose nipped with cold. Winter was coming fast, and any other time, most of the clan members would be tucked into their cabins already, enjoying their winter of solitude. But because of what had happened, no one could rest. Patrols still roamed between the homes on the Arder side, and Jackie could only imagine that they did the same on the Bitterroot clan side. Bears were on edge. No one had made another move since the battle, breathlessly waiting to see what Ryder was planning. He hadn’t said a word one way or another, and when he’d left Jackson’s home, they were just as much in the dark about what he was plotting as they had been before it all started. Jackie could only guess at his motives, but nothing she could imagine made any sense to her.