Moon Racer (24 page)

He wondered what Abby was doing, and why she
had not come to see him while he was conscious.

He heard someone in the doorway, and he could
clearly see her slender silhouette. He could smell the
soft scent of honey, so he closed his eyes, hoping she
might approach him if she thought he was sleeping.

He felt her beside him and reached up and
clasped her wrist. "I have been waiting for you."

She didn't try to move away. "How' are you
feeling?"

"I don't want to talk about that. We have a
decision to make, you and I." His fingers slid
between hers. "Did you read my note?"

His chest was bare but for the bandage, and she
wanted so badly to touch his skin. "Of course I
did."

"And?"

"You have no decision to make at all. I tore it
up.

He pulled her down to him, and she came
willingly. His lips touched and molded to hers,
sending a jolt through her like an earthquake, and
the tremors that followed were like aftershocks. He
lightly touched her hair, and she wanted to be even
closer.

With painful resolve, she eased away from him.

"Abby, don't turn away from me. I am trying to
do the right thing."

"I like Patricia, and she loves you very much."

He released her arm. "Yes. II know that. Just tell
me this one thing." He probed her eyes. "Are
you..."

She already knew what he was agonizing over.
He had written her the note because if she were
with child, he would marry her. She wasn't, and she
was glad. She would not want to marry any man
under those circumstances. "I am fine. You don't
have to worry."

She heard his relieved sigh. "Good night, Jonah."

He didn't answer her or try to stop her from
leaving.

The sun was just rising when Jonah got out of bed
and struggled to dress himself. The most difficult
part was putting on his boots, because his shoulder
ached. And he couldn't button his shirt at all. He
was glad when MacDougall heard him stirring and
came into the room to help.

"How are you feeling, sir?"

Jonah grimaced. "Like I've been shot."

MacDougall buttoned the shirt for him. "Is there
anything else I can do for you, sir?"

"I might be weak, and my shoulder hurts like
hell, but I don't want you mothering me,
Sergeant save that for your new recruits, who will
be arriving at the fort any day now."

MacDougall almost smiled. "Do you want me to
get back to the fort?"

"Wait another day, and I'll go with you."

MacDougall would have liked to have told him
that one day wouldn't be enough time to rest that
shoulder, but he saved his breath, because the major
would do what the major wanted to do.

The two men made their way to the kitchen,
where Frances greeted them with her usual
gruffness and served them a hearty breakfast. Jack
and the general came in just as Jonah was having
his second cup of coffee. From the looks of them,
they had been up and about for some time.

Jonah couldn't help comparing the two men.
They were an unlikely pair, and as different as two
men could be, but they seemed to have found a
common interest in horses.

Patricia came in later and was delighted to see
Jonah up and dressed. She sat beside him, just
needing to be near him. She politely refused the
huge breakfast Frances placed before her and asked
for a cup of tea.

"I have been thinking about leaving tomorrow,
Mr. Hunter," Jonah said. "I have taken advantage of
your hospitality long enough."

Frances glared at Jonah. "You don't need to be
going off till you're better. Next week would be
soon enough."

"That's what I wanted to tell him," MacDougall
said.

Frances stared down at the sergeant. "He'd
already be healing if you hadn't let him ride so far
after being shot."

"Ma'am, you must not know how it works in the
army. You see, the major here's in command, and I
take his orders. Those below me in rank take my
orders, but I would never-never-tell the major
what to do."

Frances was still glaring at the man when she left
the room, and mumbling something about "ruling
the roost" under her breath.

"Now that's one scary woman, Mr. Hunter,"
MacDougall observed.

"You haven't seen her riled yet this is one of
her good days," Jack said, smiling.

"Admirable woman," Daniel Tremain concluded.

"Jonah," Patricia asked, "will I be staying here or
leaving for the fort with you?" She wondered why
he hadn't talked it over with her. She hadn't even
known he was leaving until now.

He looked at a loss for a moment. His quarters at
the fort were a shambles. He hadn't taken the time
to move into them, and had been occupying a cot in
his office. "You will have to give me a few days to
make the quarters livable. There is a hotel in
Diablo. I had made arrangements for you and
the general to stay there. I hadn't known
Quince would be bringing you here to the HalfMoon."

Patricia lowered her head. He hadn't known she
would be at the ranch. It had been Abby he had
wanted to see. She took a breath of air as the
realization hit her: Jonah was in love with Abby.

"I won't hear of you staying in that flea trap," Jack
interjected. "You will stay where you are for now. We've got plenty of room, and Patricia has become
a friend to my Abby."

Patricia wanted to return to Philadelphia that very
moment, but she couldn't not yet.

"General?" Jonah asked. "Is it all right with you
to stay here?"

"Thank you, Jack. Patricia and I would like to
stay. We can join my son later."

Jonah stood. "I am going to walk out to the barn.
I need to get out in the fresh air."

Patricia watched him leave, wishing he had asked
her to walk with him.

Abby was grooming the mare she had trained for
Patricia when Jonah entered the stable. She glanced
up at him and paused with the currycomb in her
hand. "Should you be out of bed?" She frowned
with concern. "I know you shouldn't be moving
around this soon. You might reopen the wound."

Without a word he stepped close to her, took the
currycomb and dropped it on the ground, then
gathered her to him. "I have to come to you because
you won't come to me. I want to hold you in my
arms."

She muffled a sob and buried her face against his
neck. "This isn't right, Jonah."

He clasped her face in both his hands and raised
it to his so he could stare into the eyes that still
haunted him. "I have always done the right thing,
and everything that was expected of me." His finger
slid across her mouth. "Until I came to Texas. Until
I met you."

"Jonah, I know the kind of man you are, and I
know you feel responsible for what happened
between us. I told you then, and I'm telling you
now, I was as much to blame as you were. I don't
want you to have any regrets."

"Regrets... I'm full of them."

She turned back to the mare and picked up the
currycomb, making wide strokes across the
animal's back. "I feel guilty when I see how much
Patricia cares for you. If I could take back what I
did, -I would."

He grabbed her and hauled her to him, his
expression hard, his eyes glinting. "How can you
say that?"

She pressed her hand against his arm, remembering
his injured shoulder, but his mouth ground against
hers and robbed her of all resistance. She pressed
against his body, feeling the hardening of his need for
her, and it awoke an answering need in her.

She felt, rather than heard, him groan. She had no
substance without him, and it seemed she was even
drawing her breath from him.

He broke off the kiss and stared at her. "Add that
to the list of things you want to take back-I
certainly can't."

She felt his warm breath on her hair, and she was
weak with need. "We both know what your feelings
are for me," she said, forcing the words past her
trembling lips. "You have the same feelings as
Moon Racer when a mare is ready for him."

She watched as he digested what she had told
him, and his fierce blue eyes turned icy.

"Yes," he said at last, looking away from her.
"That's what it is between us."

She stared down at the toe of her boot. She was
losing parts of herself, and she was no longer sure
who she was. Life had been so uncomplicated
before Jonah came along. Now it was a struggle just
to stay out of his arms. It was her fault that the
situation had gotten out of hand-she could have
put a stop to it before it got this far.

He brought his gaze back to her. "Do you really
believe it's only lust between us, Abby?"

She had sensed the guilt in him, and his feeling of
obligation toward her. She imagined that he would feel
the same obligation toward any woman whose virginity
he had taken. She ached because of what she must say
to him, and she hoped she sounded convincing. "Don't
look back with regret because of what happened
between us, Jonah. If it hadn't happened with you, it
would have been someone else."

She watched him flinch as if she'd struck him.
After the initial shock of her words passed, he glared
at her, and her spirits plummeted. She lowered her
glance so he wouldn't see the pain she felt.

Then with controlled discipline, he stepped away
from her. "I wanted to tell you that I'll be leaving
tomorrow."

The coldness of that reality hit her hard. She had
known he would be leaving as soon as he was able,
but not this soon. "Have someone look at your
wound when you get to where you are going."

She watched him struggle with whatever he was
thinking. At last he spoke in a voice so cold and un feeling that it cut her to the bone. "Your father has
invited Patricia and the general to stay on for a few
days. Is that all right with you?"

"Yes, of course."

"Well, then. I probably won't be seeing you
again."

She concentrated on brushing the mare. "When
will you give her the horse?"

"Today."

Abby nodded. "She won't have any trouble with
this mare."

She could feel him behind her, and she knew he
was deeply troubled, but she could be of no help to
him.

After a long silence she heard him turn, and then
the sound of his bootsteps faded from the barn.

Abby quickly saddled Moon Racer and rode
away, allowing him to run full out she had to get
away from the ranch. She didn't want to be there
when Jonah gave Patricia the mare, and she didn't
want to sit down at the table with them and try to
chew on food that would choke her. She found
herself heading for the Diamond C and Quince.
When she got there they were dipping stock, so she
stayed to help them until the sun went down. Then
her brother had one of his men accompany her home,
because he did not want her riding alone after dark.

When she reached the barn, Navidad was waiting
for her.

"Everyone has been looking for you this day,
Senorita Abby. The major, he has come here to find
you two, maybe three times."

"I'm tired, Christmas. I've been helping Quince
today. Will you unsaddle Moon Racer for me?"

"k." He looked at her curiously. "The major
gave his senorita the mare today, and she was so
happy. She hugged him plenty and was happy that
you had trained the mare for her."

She walked toward the house. "I'm going to bed,
Christmas."

Frances had left a lamp burning in the hallway.
She blew it out and then moved quietly past Jonah's
bedroom door so he would not hear her. Through
the walls of her bedroom she could hear his pacing,
and she wondered what could be going through his
mind.

She sat back on her bed and then sank into its
softness. She knew she should bathe, but she was
just too weary. She had not meant to fall asleep, but
sometime after midnight she awoke and undressed.

It was hot in the room, and she turned her face to
catch the breeze from the open window. She
thought of Jonah so close, and yet a world apart.

Was he sleeping?

If she went to him, what would he do?

He would be leaving in the morning, and that
would be best for both of them.