Moonglow (36 page)

“So you think you've won,” she hisses.

No, but I'm not going to admit that. “We have,” I shoot back, squeezing my mother's hand tightly.

Luba raises her two boney arms and presses her fingers to her mouth. The movement is grotesque; it's something only a little girl should do. Her hands contain all the wrinkles that should live on her face and are dotted with brown spots that look like a galaxy of dirty stars. Some of her fingernails are long, others short, some bitten off, but all are yellowed and stained. Ugly hands on an ugly woman that do nothing to suppress an ugly laugh.

The sound that drips out of her mouth is thick and gravely at first, but then builds into a series of high-pitched notes. Joy created from evil.

I turn around, and Nadine is still sleeping. She's either the deepest sleeper around, or Luba's cast a spell on her so our meeting won't be interrupted. Good, I don't wish this sight on anyone. I cannot believe Barnaby finds this
thing
entertaining.

Suddenly her laughter stops, and she extends her left hand toward me. Her thumb holds down her pinky so only three spindly fingers are pointing in my direction, inches from my face. No more laughter, but Luba is still feeling the type of evil joy only she can feel, so her thin lips slowly form a smile.

“Remember, Dominy,” she whispers. “Once cursed, always cursed.”

Chapter 29

“Luba's right.”

Caleb tries his best to convince me otherwise, but it's no use. What did Jess tell me?
“Just because something is evil, doesn't mean it can't speak the truth
.
”

“After everything that I've done,” I say, “I'm still cursed.”

“How can you say that after what your father did for you?” Caleb asks. “He made the ultimate sacrifice just to break Luba's damn hex.”

“And he failed!” I cry. “When it comes to that psychopath, there's no way to win! For the rest of my life I'm going to have to live with this, Caleb. Don't you get it? For the rest of my life I'm going to spend every hour of every day knowing that I took the coward's way out. I killed my father so I could live!”

I don't care how loud my voice is. No one's around; the only one who can hear me other than Caleb is The Weeping Lady, and I'm sure she's heard thousands of secrets in her lifetime that she's never repeated. I can't run from the guilt and the shame and the self-hatred that's festering in my mind. Becoming a werewolf was only part of Luba's curse; her real intention was much larger than that. She wanted to destroy my father's family the same way he accidentally destroyed hers, and she has succeeded beyond her wildest dreams.

“No matter how I try to ignore it and gloss over it, the truth of what I did is still right here,” I say, both my hands pounding against my head. “And it's never, ever going to leave me!”

Either the world is spinning around me or I'm going to faint. The trees, The Weeping Lady, the buildings in the distance, they're all whipping around me, making my vision blur. I can't feel the grass underneath my feet. I feel like the plastic bag is back around my head, but this time I don't want it to be ripped off; I want it to squeeze tighter and tighter around my neck so I can't breathe anymore. I want this all to be over!

“Dominy!”

I think that was Caleb's voice, but I'm not sure, because everything is black.

I know the words, but the voice has changed. It's not my mother's poetic sound; it's my father. His voice is much flatter, much more matter-of-fact, but, undeniably, it's just as compassionate.

When I open my eyes, I'm blinded by the sun, and I gasp out loud because I think that Jess is at the opposite end of yet another miracle and has found a way to reconnect with me, but I'm wrong. It's just Caleb. The moment my brain recognizes this fact I hate him, and I love him for being exactly who he is. He's just my boyfriend, nothing more. Despite how much he loves me right now and how much he's already done for me, I know instinctively that someday he'll be out of my life, having moved on to someone else, someone he prefers over me. He's never going to love me the way my father and Jess did. Thankfully, my disorientation covers my disappointment.

But within that disappointment lies hope, because I realize for the first time since my father's death I've truly accepted the fact that I have a future.

“Don't worry,” he says. “I got you.”

No, you don't, I want to say; you only have me for right now. But maybe that's the lesson I need to learn, the lesson my father wanted me to understand, that all we have is right now, so we owe it to ourselves to make the best of it. If we don't, how can we expect tomorrow and the next day to be any better? He accepted the fact that his time on earth was over because he wanted to make the rest of my days better, unmarred by worry and fear. If I continue to wallow in self-pity, as justified as I think that self-pity might be, then his sacrifice was in vain; it was all for nothing, and evil truly wins out.

Looking up into Caleb's face, made even more beautiful by the sunshine I will forever attribute to Jess, I decide I will never let that happen.

Caleb's lips and tongue taste as soft and sweet as they always do. It takes the muscles underneath his T-shirt a few seconds to relax and let go of the surprise my actions have caused, but soon he's kissing me back, gently, as if each kiss is a reminder of life, a reminder that, thanks to my father, I can still live. Which is exactly what I plan to do.

 

When Archie first mentioned the idea of having a Full Moon Party in my honor, it was greeted by silence. I could tell by everyone's shocked expressions that they thought it was in the poorest of taste and that Archie had finally crossed a line from which he couldn't return. There was no way he could sweet-talk himself back into our good graces and especially mine after making such a foolish suggestion. That's what everyone thought. Until I agreed that it was a brilliant idea.

I think the word for it is
serendipity,
when all the stars align. The next full moon falls on a Saturday night, the same night Melinda Jaffe has to fly back to Connecticut with her mother to attend the funeral of a distant relative. The price of airfare being what it is today, Mrs. Jaffe made the reluctant decision to leave her twins home alone. Add it all up, and the Jaffe basement becomes the perfect place to have a party for the Wolf Pack plus one. Since it's Napoleon's house we had no choice, but to allow him to be on the guest list.

“Your dip's not as good as your mother's, Nay,” Archie declares, chomping on a huge mouthful of the stuff.

“I can see it's preventing you from eating half the bowl,” Nadine good-naturedly shoots back.

“I am a growing boy!” he yells.

Caleb slaps Archie's stomach. “Keep growing, Angevene, and the boys are gonna start to look elsewhere.”

“Oh really?” Archie asks, smiling mischievously despite a mouthful of artichoke dip. “And you think they're gonna start looking at you?”

“Well . . . the six-pack does speak for itself,” Caleb replies, lifting up his shirt to reveal perfect abs.

Not to be outdone, Archie lifts up his own shirt. “Like this wasn't carved from pure white marble!”

“Oh my God!” Arla shouts. “Will you two just make out and get over it?”

“What do you think we do when we're in a huddle on the field?” Archie deadpans.

“I knew it!” Arla shouts even louder. “All that butt slapping is bound to lead to experimentation.”

I can't believe how resilient Arla is. After the attack no one would have thought less of her if she had announced her need for a little private time, or more specifically, time away from me. But her reaction was exactly the opposite. She never blamed me for the assault or for scarring her; in fact, as unbelievable as it sounds, she actually thanked me.

“You're thanking me for almost blinding you?” I asked, my voice not accurately conveying how shocked I felt.

“Before this happened,” Arla told me, her sky-blue nails gesturing toward her eye, “I thought I was part of your team and helping you because you're my friend.”

“And now?” I asked.

“This made me realize I'm helping you because it's the right thing to do,” she said.

It doesn't matter that I no longer need my own Wolf Pack, Arla's conviction hasn't faltered.

“I must have inherited my dad's crime-stopping gene, because I'm not going to rest until this Luba is caught and served the punishment she deserves,” she pronounced. “No matter what, Dom, good's gotta stomp out evil.”

I was so moved by her sincerity I could only shake my head. Until she made me laugh.

“And my pumps with the four-inch heels were just made to stomp out some evil,” she declared.

Laughing and hugging her tightly, I added, “So is that lemon-yellow eye patch you're sporting!”

“It's my homage to Jess,” Arla explained. “Just a little piece of sunshine to carry along with me while I heal.”

Oh how I already miss holding on to a little piece of Jess's sunshine. But she'll always be in my heart. And holding on to two muscular arms isn't the worst consolation prize.

Wrapping his arms around me, Caleb whispers in my ear. “You know I've never kissed Archie, right?”

I let him squeeze me tighter; his chin stubble feels wonderful on my neck. “I know.”

“Not since sixth grade anyway.”

It's hilarious that Caleb has a higher-pitched laugh than I do. I don't know how long he'll be my boyfriend, but for now I couldn't imagine feeling this way about anyone else. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees I've made the right choice.

“Nice to see that you're up for a party, Dominy,” Napoleon says the minute Caleb walks away to get more punch.

“It was time,” I reply. “Excuse me.”

We both step to the same side at the same time. I don't know if it's deliberate on his part or unplanned, but it puts a glitch into my getaway.

“I was thinking about Jess the other day.”

Maybe I'm annoyed that Nap isn't getting the hint that I don't want to have a private conversation with him or maybe the sound of my friend's name coming out of his mouth sounds wrong and irritates me, but I involuntarily channel my inner bitch, who has been lying dormant for several months.

“Seriously, Nap, you don't get to say her name, let alone think about her.”

“I'm sorry,” Napoleon says, becoming very nervous all of a sudden. “I was just, you know, having sushi and, well, you remember how she was obsessed with everything Japanese.”

Of course I do!

“I remember how much she adored Japanese culture because I was there the exact moment she fell in love with Hello Kitty,” I explain. “I remember the first time I helped her dye her hair black and straighten it with an iron. I remember the first time we saw Saoirse doing makeup tutorials online, and Jess immediately e-mailed her to tell her that Nakano, her Japanese sidekick, was gorgeous. I remember everything, Napoleon, because I was there. Because I was her best friend, and I loved her. You didn't even like her that much even though you masqueraded as her boyfriend. You're in love with me, and don't think that we didn't know it.”

It's just about this time that I realize we have an audience. I didn't plan on it, I didn't want anyone else to overhear, but I have nothing to hide. Everything I said was the truth. So I wrap it up as succinctly as possible.

“So, Nap, you don't get to say Jess's name or remember her or try to make a play for me,” I add. “And if you follow by those rules, maybe,
just maybe
I can forget about the past and we can start to be friends.”

The only sounds in the basement are the ticking of a clock and Archie chomping on more food. Until Napoleon replies.

“I accept.”

I shake the hand he's holding out to me and agree. “Now let's get this party started!”

Somebody turns up the music, and Caleb twirls me around, my hair, my necklace, my skirt spinning with me.

“Domgirl,” Caleb says, pulling me in close to him, “I am so hot for you right now.”

Grabbing onto his shoulders, I smile. “Well then, maybe we'll have to do something about that later.”

Filled with surprise, anticipation, and lust, Caleb can't contain his smile or the little rustling in his jeans. I know he's just about to kiss me when I scream.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see the full moon in all its silver glory hanging against a navy blue sky, the full moon that's no longer supposed to pose a threat, the full moon that's making me transform once again into something I was no longer supposed to become.

“No!!!!!!!”

I look down at my arms, and it feels like they're on fire. This was never supposed to happen again; we had made sure of it.

“Help me!!!!!”

Just as I feel my knees about to snap backward, I see Nadine slam a lamp over her brother's head and watch him fall to the ground. Maybe she's being a good sister and trying to protect him from witnessing the horror that's about to be on display. I can't protect anyone, but I can salvage one thing. I rip the necklace Caleb gave me off my neck and throw it at him.

“Caleb, run!”

The rest of my bones snap into place; my skin disappears underneath a cloak of fur; my screams give way to growls, and then one long howl announces I've returned. The curse is still flowing through my veins. I'm still connected to the powerful wolf spirit, and I'm still consumed with the desperate need to feed.

Slowly I walk around the room, taking my time, as all around me is commotion and screams and crying. There he is, the last one I saw before I turned, the one who's escaped me so many times before. This time will be different.

He looks muscular for a human, and his yellow hair is like a crown of sunlight, but he's no match for me; we both know that.

“Dominy, stop!” he cries to me. “It's Caleb. You have to fight this!”

Leaping into the air I see him cower to the floor, and I open my mouth to show the full fury of my rage. I'm seconds away from tasting his flesh when I feel something burrow into my side and hurl me across the room.

I'm on my back, my paws being held by the one made of pure white, and he's staring down at me. His face carries none of the fear of the other one. How stupid.

“Dominy,” he says quietly. “Look at me, look into my eyes. It's me, Archie.”

I've seen this one before too. He thinks he knows me; he thinks he's smarter than me. He's another fool. One push against his hands and we flip over. Now he's looking up at me as I pin him to the floor. Our positions are reversed, but he looks exactly the same.