Moonlight on the Millpond (38 page)

“I'll never feel that way,” he said, not breaking eye contact for a second, “and I'm sorry you do.”

“I don't. I was just afraid you did.”

“Come here,” Jace beckoned to her with one finger, and Maddie leaned toward him. He kissed her softly, cupping her cheek. “I'll see you at home with no more talk of regrets.”

“All right,” Maddie agreed, thinking he was much better than she deserved. One of these days she had to take down the physical wall between them. She drove the buggy away from the mill, wishing she had more courage to get the job done.

Dear Maddie, or should I say Mrs. Randall?

I don't know whether Jace told you that I planned to
write. I came in person to apologize to him, but the last
thing you need right now is company, so I will do my
best in a letter.

I'm so sorry for what I did, Maddie. There is no
excuse, and I will offer none, except to say that I have,
just lately, learned how to treat people better. I never
had anything against you—not really—I just didn't
want Jace to care for anyone for fear that he might
forget all about the sister who raised him.

It was a foolish need and want in my life, and I no
longer feel that way. I ask for your forgiveness. I don't
deserve it. But again, I wish to tell you how wrong I
was, and if you can ever think of a way for me to show
you, I hope you will let me know.

Hoping we can someday be friends,

                        
Eden Randall

Jace had ridden one of the horses down to the mill. It was good to be done for the day, and as he stabled Robby, he took his time, savoring the warmth of the barn as well as its sounds.

The other stock also needed his attention, and Jace went through the jobs, liking the fact that some things didn't change. Tonight, however, there was something new. As Jace took down the bag of feed for the chickens, ready to spread some in the corner of their pen, he spotted Maddie in the yard by the pump.

Staying in the shadows of the barn, he was able to watch her pull the tin cup from beneath the board and pump the handle for water. Much as before, she filled it several times before returning the cup and going back inside.

Jace was not a fool, nor was he blind. When evidence was presented to him, he was fairly swift at deduction. His wife feared that he would give her alcohol again.

No wonder she doesn't want me to touch her. She doesn't think she
can trust me—not even for this small thing.

Even as Jace thought it, he realized it was not a small thing to her. Jace went inside, cleaned up, and joined his wife for tea, his eyes still watchful. Maddie's cup sat untouched throughout the meal. In fact, she drank nothing all evening.

Jace said not a word concerning this. Planning to be up even earlier than usual, he lay in bed waiting for his wife to sleep and curl up against him. He had something he needed to do, and tomorrow was not soon enough.

Maddie heard Jace on the stairs but didn't assume he was headed back to their room. She was still standing in her shift, however, when he opened the door and came in.

“I need to show you something downstairs,” he said, not seeming to notice the way she grabbed her dress from the bed and held it in front of her.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, but come out the kitchen door as soon as you're down.”

Maddie stood for a few seconds after he left. Eventually curiosity got the best of her. She rushed into her clothes and threw a bonnet on her head. It was all too mysterious, and Maddie wanted to know what was going on.

As soon as Maddie stepped out the door, Jace was there to take her hand. He led her toward the barn, not speaking.

“Where are we going?” Maddie asked.

“Just over here” was all Jace would say.

Jace didn't rush, but he moved with a purpose. He led her through the barn and out the far door. At the corner by the fence he stopped, and Maddie saw what lay at his feet: broken and overturned jugs, empty flasks, and one open but empty barrel.

“This is all the alcohol from the house. There isn't a drop left in there, not even hard cider.”

Maddie stared at the mess. “Why did you do this?”

“Because my wife shouldn't have to fear. My wife shouldn't have to drink only from the pump for fear that her husband will give her alcohol.”

“I didn't know you knew about that.”

Jace didn't answer. He watched her for a moment, debating whether or not to tell her the rest.

“I want you to understand the full import here, Maddie.” Jace knew it might get him into trouble, but he was going to tell all. “This is larger than you might think; this is a huge act for me.”

“I know you enjoy your drink.”

“That's not it. I've never planned on it, I swear to you about that, but eventually I might have decided to get you drunk again. Since it didn't come to mind until after I was done breaking everything up, I don't know if I could have fought the urge or not. I hope I would have.”

Maddie was instantly angry and wasted no time in letting Jace know it.

“You know how I feel! How could you even think of such a thing?”

“It would have been selfish, Maddie—I admit that—but I wanted you to know what this might have cost me.”

“What are you talking about?”

Jace drew a little close, anger in his voice as well. “Let's just put it this way; you're a very loving drunk.”

Maddie didn't get it. She frowned at him, still angry, her hands coming to her hips. “You're talking in riddles, and I'm not amused.”

Jace put it plainly, working to stay calm and keeping his voice quiet. “You don't have any trouble with my getting close when you've had some alcohol.”

This was the last thing Maddie expected. She wanted to be angry about the reminder, but curiosity got the better of her.

“What do I do?” she whispered back at him.

“Are you sure you want to know?”

Maddie nodded.

“You smile at me a lot, tell me how much you care, and let me kiss you all I want.”

Maddie felt vulnerable and exposed, as though a secret part of her had been revealed to everyone but herself.

“Is that who I really am, Jace, or is that person just around when there's alcohol involved?”

“I don't believe it's just there when there's alcohol.” His voice was calm now. “I think when you feel you can trust me, our time in the bedroom will be wonderful.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because we did enjoy each other before I sent you away. At some point between the picnic and the lies, we could barely keep our hands off of each other.”

Maddie wondered how she could have forgotten that. Images of the kisses they shared, things coming dangerously close to too far, flitted through her mind. She looked down at the spilled alcohol and back at Jace.

“I'm afraid of a lot of things lately.”

“Well, this is one less thing to fear. If you drink alcohol, it will be of your own choosing.”

Maddie thanked him, her eyes going back to the mess.

“It smells terrible, doesn't it?”

“There was some powerful brew in there.”

“And you won't miss it?”

Jace smiled. Lately the only thing on his mind was getting his wife into his arms.

“No,” he said quietly. “One of these days my wife might want to kiss me, and I want my head for that.”

Maddie looked up at him, knowing she was far from immune. She wasn't buying this morning, however.

“Clara will be coming soon.”

“And we
mustn't
let her see us kiss,” Jace said with exaggerated sarcasm.

Maddie almost smiled but refused to be baited.

“I'm going into the house now.”

“That's fine,” Jace agreed. “You look good going in either direction.”

Maddie put her chin in the air and went on her way. She knew she was being watched every step of the way but refused to turn and give Jace the satisfaction. When she got into the house, however, she went to the window and did her best to catch sight of him without being caught.

“Have you thought about painting this house?” Clara surprised Maddie by asking later that same day.

“I hadn't,” Maddie looked at her. “Have you, Clara?”

“Lots of times.”

“Why didn't you?”

“It wasn't my house, and Woody didn't care how it looked.”

Maddie nodded, “I suppose it's too cold right now.”

“For the outside, yes.”

Maddie smiled. In that instant she knew Clara had been wanting to do something with the house for years.

“You have something in mind,” Maddie challenged.

“Wallpaper,” Clara whispered, as though it were the greatest secret in the known universe.

Maddie laughed until tears came to her eyes, but when she could concentrate, she listened with huge eyes to every idea Clara Teckam had in mind.