Moonshadow (45 page)

“When will that happen, and what does it mean for us?”

“As Darien Shepherd, I’m expected to graduate from the university in May. The future of our being together is your decision, though. I’ll not ask you to give up your life for my sake.”

“I see,” Diana said, considering the situation. “So I have the choice of either living a semi-normal human life
without
you, or giving up everything I know to live as your thrall in Qir’Halzereth.”

“Yes,” Darien replied, sounding defeated.

The gravity of the decision fell over Diana in an avalanche of emotion. Had she given her soul to Darien only for him to be ripped away from her in a few months? If Diana went to Naphalei lands with him, she would be forced to give up her human life forever. Would she even get to see her friends and family again? Her parents would be heartbroken to lose her, and so would she. They had been her life for eighteen years. Diana loved them so much, could she live her life without them? At the same time, had she really expected Darien to forsake his entire history, culture, and who he was, just to live a human existence with her? In spite of the magic of it all, Diana had been living in an unrealistic fantasy. Now, she had to wake up from it and make her choice.

Diana felt tears begin to form in her eyes but she willed them away. “I…I need time to think.”

“Of course you do,” Darien said with a hint of regret. “I didn’t want to burden you with these thoughts just yet, considering your current state.”

Diana simply nodded and returned to her chicken soup, filled with emotional turmoil. They opted to finish their supper in silent reflection.

Once they had cleared the table, Darien helped Diana into the parlor. When she was sitting comfortably on the sofa in front of the fireplace, he offered to make her a pot of tea. She happily accepted.

Darien returned with her promised hot beverage, and an after dinner treat of lemon cake, as the sudden sound of the front door opening filled the silent parlor.

Someone had finally returned home.

Looking into the foyer, Diana found the sight of a fretful Miri alarming. She’d never seen the cheery shrine maiden so distraught.

“Endymion!” Miri said in surprise once she saw them. “You’ve returned; how lovely. And Diana is awake.” She glanced briefly in Diana’s general direction but refused to make eye contact.

Something is definitely not right
. Even from where she sat, Diana could feel Miri’s aversion and her incredible desire to run away.

“Miraena, where have you been?” Darien was eager for answers. “What happened to Diana? Why was she unconscious for so long?”

“I’ve had urgent matters to take care of, I’m sorry,” Miri replied, obviously not wanting to discuss anything further. “Terra can tell you more—if you will excuse me.” She forced a polite curtsey and then quickly made her way upstairs.

The sound of the slamming bedroom door echoed throughout the large house.

“What in the world was that all about?” Diana asked, confused by Miri’s uncharacteristic behavior.

“Your guess is as good as mine, my dear,” Darien replied. “Hopefully Terraiyah can enlighten us when she returns.”

They didn’t have to wait long. Terra walked through the front door but a few minutes later, looking emotionally drained. Seeing Darien and Diana in the parlor, she closed the door behind her and made her way towards them.

As with Miri, Diana found Terra’s stoic, and somewhat gentle, demeanor completely uncharacteristic. She actually seemed pleased and relieved to see Darien and Diana sitting in the parlor together, next to the fire. In place of the resentment and flashing flames of anger that Diana usually felt in Terra’s presence, there was a warm, almost sad, compassion.

Am I still in the Veil? Nothing makes sense.

“Endymion, it’s good to see you’ve returned to us,” she said with a warm smile and then turned to Diana with the studying eyes of a concerned physician. Her genuine smile widened and Diana almost fell off the sofa. “It’s good to see that you’ve recovered as well, Miss Selene. How long have you been awake?”

“About two hours,” Diana replied, having no doubts that her extreme confusion was present upon her face. Terra, by contrast, nodded like she had expected Diana’s answer. “What happened to me?”

Terra continued to defy Diana’s perceptions of her character by sitting next to her on the sofa and gently taking Diana’s hand into her own. The action prompted Diana to glance at Darien who, with mouth agape in awe, seemed just as astonished as she was. She gave Terra the attention her sudden tenderness demanded.

As before, Diana could feel Terra’s heart reaching out to her own, embracing it with a kindred empathetic compassion that paralleled her hand being held in the other woman’s.

“You are with child,” Terra said with calm concern.

Diana’s world imploded.

Chapter 21

O monstrous Fate, is this thy wretched sting?

Lost to shock, Diana was brought back to reality when she felt the intensity of Darien’s horrified surprise. She looked up to see him backing away towards the fireplace, staring at Diana in disbelief. He almost stepped into the flames before he stopped himself.

Shadows swirled about Diana’s mind, and they had nothing to do with the Veil reaching out to her.
I’m pregnant? There’s no way that’s possible—Darien said it wasn’t possible.
Even if it
were
somehow possible for a human and a Naphalei to have a child, Diana was on birth-control, and she’d always been responsible about taking it—her ovaries didn’t produce an egg that could be fertilized.

Diana shook her head, refusing to believe Terra’s diagnosis. “I can’t possibly be pregnant. There has to be another explanation.”

Terra still had her hands over Diana’s, her heart and expression both full of compassion, as she shifted her gaze to Darien. “Endymion, by your reaction, you obviously haven’t been entirely truthful with Miss Selene. I suggest you tell her, now.”

Turning her own gaze onto Darien, Diana found him more distraught that she’d ever seen him in the past. She found his emotions even more alarming. Diana knew that he’d been given an answer to an unvoiced question that he’d long agonized over, and the truth now haunted him more than the question ever had.

“
Zayla’Sin
,” Darien finally forced out and then dropped to his knees. “I don’t know how, but it’s true,” he said, shaking his head, talking more to himself than Diana. “I saw the signs, but I willfully ignored them.” He finally lifted his head to meet Diana’s gaze. “Elberon forgive me, I may have damned us all, but I don’t care. I love you, Diana.”

“
Zayla’Sin
…” Diana repeated before finally remembering. “Moonshadow…I
am
a Moonshadow.”

“You knew?” Terra asked, looking surprised.

“Not at first,” Diana replied softly, lost to memories. “I’ve been having Veil dreams for years, so I always knew something was different about me. It wasn’t until a Melkafir tasted my blood and called it a rare delicacy, that I started to truly suspect I might be special. When Queen Morgana called me a Moonshadow, and Darien told me it’s possible for humans to be magical, I knew that’s what I was.”

With eyes wide with astonishment, Terra turned an accusing glare onto Darien. “By the Dawnbringer’s fiery blade, Endymion. What have you been doing?”

Darien didn’t acknowledge Terra’s question, but rather, looked at Diana with an expression of hurt, and a fair bit of anger.

“You should have told me
all
of this,” he said forcefully. “Why did you keep your suspicious from me?”

Diana felt her own anger rising. “Gee—I don’t know,” she replied sardonically. “The Shadow Edict, maybe? Or how about the way you seemed perfectly fine with the mass murder of innocent humans? Take your pick.”

“That’s beside the—”

“No it’s not,” Diana cut him off. “And you have absolutely
no
right to be angry with me for keeping secrets. You said it was impossible for humans and Naphalei to have children together, am I right? Well, there was obviously more to it, wasn’t there?”

Darien’s eyes filled with regret and remorse before he turned from away from her accusing glare.

Terra sighed and squeezed Diana’s hand.

“It’s fortunate that Endymion told you a bit of Moonshadows,” Terra began. “So this will not be too difficult to explain.”

Diana turned to Terra. “He said Moonshadows are humans born with the ability to use magic, but most were evil and went mad, so they were all hunted down and killed. He also said that one hasn’t been seen for over a thousand years.”

Terra nodded. “Yes; all of that is true. However, Endymion obviously failed to mention the most crucial part of their tale.”

Diana glanced at Darien and he looked down in shame. At the sight, anger, resentment, and fear began to well up inside of her. He had kept something very important from her, on purpose.

“Go on,” Diana said sternly as she continued to stare at Darien.

“Moonshadows weren’t a danger simply for being able to use magic.” Terra shook her head at the notion. “That threat can be handled easily enough. The true danger was in their ability have children with us.”

The ridiculous notion only fueled Diana’s growing anger and animosity. “What do you mean? Why do you act like a human having a child with a Naphalei could be the end of the world?”

“Because it very well could be, Miss Selene,” Terra replied, her tone gravely serious. “Children of Naphalei and Moonshadows have been born throughout history, and each time, the unnatural child brings desolation along with it. Powerful storms, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions—Madaera herself trembles in fear of them.”

Diana just sat and stared as Terra continued. “More often than not, it was our people that suffered the most. With the loss of Qir’Aflonas, our highest authorities finally decreed that the Moonshadow threat was too great and that they needed to be hunted down in an attempt to purify the Tanarai bloodlines.”

“Whatever,” Diana interrupted, not wanting to deal with notions of genocide at the present. “That still doesn’t explain how I can be pregnant. I’m on birth-control; it shouldn’t be possible.”

“Our conception begins in the Spirit,” Terra replied with sympathy. “A physical egg is not required. Once the new fire of life is ignited, the ovaries produce what is needed for insemination. You medications have no effect on that process.”

I’m really am pregnant.
The revelation had the effect of a punch to the stomach. Diana couldn’t breathe, and almost didn’t care if she ever took air into her lungs again. Perhaps then, it would all go away.

“How?” she pleaded, to no one but herself. “How can this be happening? How can I be a Moonshadow if they were all hunted down and killed? How could there have not been one in over a thousand years, and then all of a sudden, I’m one and I’m pregnant?”

Diana turned her questioning gaze onto Terra. “How do you even know I’m pregnant? I could just have the flu. I haven’t missed a—” Then Diana remembered she’d been a couple days late before she collapsed. She hadn’t thought anything of it, figuring it was due to worry and exhaustion. The possibility that she could be pregnant never crossed her mind.

Terra shook her head, as if reading Diana’s thoughts. “It’s true, Miss Selene,” she answered with compassion in her voice. “Not only have I studied under the master healers of our people, but I have studied human medicine and reproduction for over fifty years. I have assisted with countless pregnancies, both Naphalei and Tanar.” Her expression was warm, but also held pain. “I had my suspicions the night you collapsed. I recognized our kindred natures as I attempted to ease your pain. Considering your unique case, I had to be positive, so Miri and I journeyed to Qir’Halzereth to consult the archives.”

“And?” Every nerve inside of Diana was on edge.

“My findings confirmed my initial suspicions. When a Naphalei and Moonshadow conceive a child, the mother’s body cannot handle the pregnancy at first. About twenty-one days after conception, she goes through an intense sickness resulting in a coma. It usually takes three days for the mother’s body to cope with the pregnancy.”

“This can’t be happening,” Diana said, again to no one in particular. She leaned forward and put her face in her hands.
I’m barely an adult—now I’m pregnant?
How would having a baby affect her plans for the future? She wouldn’t be able to finish college with a child, would she? No; her life, as she knew it, would be over forever.

The life she knew had already been over, hadn’t it? Diana would have to give up everything to stay with Darien, anyway; is this that much different? Yes; of course it is. She’d had a choice before, now she didn’t. She would have had months to figure out what she wanted to do. Fate had taken that away from her.

In a dark place in the back of her mind, Diana knew that she still had a choice. Was it one she was willing to make? She didn’t have months to decide.

Diana lifted her head and looked at Darien. She was furious with him for not telling her the truth.
This is
his
fault—
he
ruined my life
. The anger burning within Diana began melting her overwhelming anxiety and she grasped onto it like a life preserver in a deep sea of emotion.

“How could you?” she demanded to know. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Darien finally looked up at Diana, his eyes filled with his own inner pain and sorrow. They also flickered with the intense shame she could feel coursing through his heart. According to his people, he had committed the gravest of sins.

“I—I don’t know,” his voice pleaded. “No amount of apologizing can wash away my transgressions, but I was afraid of losing you. I thought that if you knew, no matter how small and impossible the chances, you wouldn’t love me as I love you.”

Darien’s words touched Diana, but failed to ease the anger she felt. She stood up from the sofa and walked over to the fireplace to stand in front of him.

Looking down on the man whose fears had put Diana in the most life shattering position imaginable, she slapped him hard across the face.

That same moment, a deep emotional pain inflamed in her heart and she fell to her knees, taking Darien’s head into her arms. As she held him to her chest, Darien latched onto her like a grieving child. Those strong arms, which had so often enveloped Diana and comforted her in their powerful embrace, lacked the resolve that had always been within them before. This time, Diana and Darien simply held each other, seeking some small amount of comfort in a devastatingly traumatic situation.

Diana finally broke the silence.

“What’s done is done,” she said, pulling away. “No amount of anger and resentment is going to change what happened. We just need to figure out where to go from here.”

Darien just looked at her, and Diana could tell by his eyes that his mind was in chaos. At times, Darien could be so trapped in his own head that his heart felt cut off from Diana and she couldn’t sense his emotional state. It was happening now, and it only made her feel more uneasy.

“This isn’t the time to shut me out,” Diana said, gazing intently into those gray eyes of polished stone. “What’s going on?”

“I need some time to figure this all out,” Darien said, standing up. His words lacked the comfort Diana had hoped for. He held his hand out for Diana to take, which she did, and he helped her up off the floor.

“What does that mean, exactly?” Diana asked, her heart seeking some sort of comfort from the man she loved.

“I have to go,” Darien replied. Even though she couldn’t feel it, Diana could tell he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I’ll be back.”

“Alright…” Diana replied, feeling dejected and confused. Why was he leaving her—now, of all times?

Darien took Diana in his arms, their lips meeting in a brief, but tender, moment, before he pulled away to address Terra.

“Terraiyah, please continue to take care of her until I return.”

“Of course,” she agreed with a nod.

Darien quickly made his way to the foyer closet and put on his black woolen overcoat. He turned back to Diana with eyes that were fountains of deep emotional pain.

“I will return,” he said, and after a pause that felt like a lifetime added, “I promise.”

Darien ventured out into the cold winter afternoon, alone, leaving Diana to stare at the large wooden door he had closed behind him.

Within moments, Diana fell to her knees and began to cry. The tumult of emotions coursing through her heart and into her person finally became too much to bear. The one person who should be by Diana’ side, comforting her through the one of most emotionally traumatic experiences of her life, had just abandoned her to deal with her pain on her own.

The soft touch of a hand on Diana’s shoulder startled her from within her sobbing—it was Terra. Diana found a comforting sense of irony in the fire mage’s compassion. Weeks ago, she had tried to end Diana’s life; now, as Terra went to her knees and pulled Diana to her chest, she knew the former assassin wanted nothing more than to take care of her. Nothing in Diana’s world made any sense.

The embrace felt awkward, but Diana latched onto Terra like a lifeline, burying her face in the bodice of her black dress.

The tears flowed like a river and Diana didn’t know if they would ever stop.