More Than Friends (17 page)

“I do,” he said, trying not to let his irritation show.

“Have you, ah, decided what—”

“No!” He took a breath and lowered his voice. “I haven’t. Look, this has all been pretty sudden and I don’t want to be hasty. But don’t worry. You’re young and healthy.”

Mark’s hopeful expression changed to defeat. “Meaning I could get another job?”

Chase nodded.

Mark looked around, as if searching for someone. “The mill’s all I know. And Patti’s pregnant again. We’ve got a house here, a kid in school. Sorry.” He laughed insincerely. “You must be getting tired of hearing sob stories. I gotta run. See you later.”

He stepped back and disappeared into the crowd.

Chase felt the knot in his stomach double in size. “What do they want from me?”

“Answers,” Frank Davidson said, walking up and handing him a plate. “You eat yet, son?”

“No.” Chase stared at the food. “I can’t.”

“Won’t help anybody by getting sick. And you and I need to have a talk.”

Chase stared around the room. Didn’t anyone else feel the walls closing in? He had to get out of here. “Not now,” he said, thrusting the plate back at the older man. “Not today.”

“When?”

“Soon.”

“Don’t wait too long. You’ve got a thousand people on the line here. They all want to know what you’re going to do.”

“You think I don’t know that?” He saw another man start to approach him. He couldn’t connect the face with a name, but knew he’d seen him at the mill. “I’ve got to get out of here, walk around and clear my head.” He touched Jenny’s cheek. “Can you handle things?”

“Of course. I’ll wait till you get back.”

“Thanks.” He turned to Davidson. “I know my responsibilities to the mill and the union. I’ll make some decisions and get in touch with you by the beginning of the week.”

Jenny watched him thread his way through the crowd. A couple of people tried to stop him to talk. He shook his head and kept going.

“That boy’s a powder keg,” her father said.

“Can you blame him? It’s been a rough week.”

“Is that all the time it’s been? Almost feels like he never left town at all.” Frank motioned to the food he was holding. “You’d better eat something, too. You’re looking peaked.”

She rolled her eyes, but took a bite out of a roll.

“Has he talked to you about his plans?”

“No, Daddy.”

“If he does—”

She dropped the roll back on the plate. “I won’t spy for you.”

“I’m not asking you to spy. Just to keep me informed. I’m worried about my people.”

“And you think I’m not? You, me, Anne’s husband, all our friends work at that mill. I know how important this is. But don’t ask me to make a choice.”

“A choice?” Frank steered her into a quiet corner. “Have you forgotten how your family stood beside you when you needed us? When you came out of the hospital—”

“I know,” she whispered, remembering the size of her debt. “But I won’t sneak around like a double agent.”

“Have you thought about what would happen if Jackson Steel shuts down?”

She’d be free to leave.

Jenny’s mouth dropped open. She pulled it shut and drew in a deep breath. Where had that thought come from? She didn’t want to leave. Her whole life was here. Friends, family.

What about the dreams? a small voice asked.

“I know the consequences if the mill closes,” she said at last. “I don’t want that to happen any more than you do. I owe you and the family and I’ll do whatever I can. But I won’t deceive Chase. Not again.”

Her father put a finger under her chin and forced her to look at him. The familiar craggy face with the love shining from his eyes made her heart ache.

“That man is going to leave you, one way or the other. Even if he stays he’ll never be yours. I’ve told you time and again, our kind don’t mix. You’ve seen the house for yourself. Could you live here?”

“No.”

“And if he leaves, could you go with him?”

The answer was harder to say, but still the same. “No.”

“You don’t fit in with him, Jenny. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“Oh, Daddy, it’s been too late for that for years.”

“Then I’ll be here, whatever happens.”

“Thank you.”

“Eat this.” He handed her the food. “I’m going to go find your mother and take her home.”

She watched him move through the crowd, speaking with one employee, then another. By the constant shaking of his head, she knew they were asking if there was news about the mill and he was telling them no.

It should have been so cut-and-dried, she thought. Her duty and loyalty lay with her family. Perhaps it was the threat of change brought about by William Jackson’s death, but something was calling to her. Those forgotten dreams still spoke from a place deep inside. Chase had made it. Could she? Was it wrong to want to try?

“Excuse me, Ms. Davidson. Do you want us to start cleaning up?”

Jenny followed the server toward the kitchen and wondered when Chase would find his way home.

*

The last guest left an hour and a half later. The caterer’s truck pulled out on their heels. Jenny stood in the center of the living room, trying to imagine what the house must have been like in the old days, back when the rooms had been filled with laughter and love.

If only Chase’s mother hadn’t died. He’d been so young to lose her, not quite twelve. She’d wanted to go to that funeral, too, to stand beside her best friend. Her father had told her she wasn’t old enough, that she didn’t belong. That afternoon, she’d sat by the river waiting for Chase to show up. In his suit and tie, he’d been a stranger, until the tears and pain in his voice had shown her that he was still her friend.

All those years ago, she’d hugged him tight, promising with a child’s wisdom that it would get easier, that she’d always be there for him. They’d sworn to be best friends forever, had sealed the pact with pricked fingers and the mingling of blood. That night, and every one after for the rest of the summer, he’d snuck out and joined her in the tree house in her backyard. They’d slept side by side in their sleeping bags, and when the bad dreams had come, she’d offered hugs and the comfort of her favorite stuffed bear. If her mother had guessed why Jenny had spent so much time in the tree house, she’d never let on. Her father, like old man Jackson, couldn’t have known the reason; each would have put a stop to the nightly visitations at once.

The living room seemed cold and empty. Even with the panels back in place and the ballroom hidden from view, she could feel the vastness of the house echoing around her. Her gaze fell upon the marble fireplace and the stack of logs sitting neatly beside the screen. She wanted to start a fire and warm herself, but this wasn’t her home.

Instead, she returned to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee. Then she walked back to the foyer, sat down on the second step from the bottom and waited for Chase.

He returned twenty minutes later.

“I was afraid you’d have left,” he said, pulling the front door closed behind him.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” She scooted over and made room for him on the stair.

“It helps that everyone is gone. Did the caterer clean up?” he asked as he sat next to her.

“Yes. They did a great job. How are you doing?”

He ran his hand through his dark hair, then shrugged out of his black suit jacket and loosened his tie. “I walked down to the river. When I was little, my mother used to take me there. We’d watch the boats go by, throw bread to the birds. She’d tell me what it was like a hundred years ago, when there were only farmers in the valley.”

Jenny offered him her cup of coffee. He shook his head.

“I remember how she’d hold me close,” he continued. “Even when I got older. When my dad was around, she’d treat me like a man, never offer a hug or anything, but when he was gone, she would tuck me in. She used to tell me she loved me and that she’d always be there.”

“I was just thinking about her, too,” she said. “I guess the funeral reminded us both.”

“Yeah.” He tugged on the end of his tie and pulled it free, then draped it over the bannister. “When she died, I couldn’t imagine life without her. If you hadn’t been my friend, I wouldn’t have made it. But with my father, it was so different. He was always a cold bastard. I hated him for what he made me do. I hated him for never caring about me.”

“He—”

“Loved me. You keep saying that, but I don’t believe it.”

Jenny leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed. She wished she could take away his pain, even for a few hours.

“I told myself he was going to die,” he said, taking her hand in his. “I thought I believed it. But that day…I guess I wasn’t as prepared as I thought. And now I don’t know what to think. There’s this knot inside.” He made a fist and hit his chest. “Here. It hurts like hell. I’ve spent eleven years wanting to punish him for what he did. How can I care that he’s gone?”

“Oh, Chase.” She turned toward him and pulled him close. “He’s your father. You can’t help but love him.”

“That’s not possible.” His voice muffled against her shoulder.

“I won’t tell anyone,” she whispered. “I promise. But you need to admit you cared. That’s the beginning of the healing.”

He stiffened and she was afraid he’d pull away. She tightened her hold on him, murmuring soft words of comfort. The sound of his breathing, the scent and warmth of his body, filled her senses.

“I did,” he said at last. “God help me, I loved that old man. And I had no earthly reason to.”

“You don’t need a reason. He was family.”

“That’s something you’d know better than me.”

They sat in silence for several minutes. Jenny kept her eyes tightly closed, allowing Chase the privacy to mourn. Finally he straightened, but kept his arm around her shoulders.

“I need to ask another favor,” he said.

“Sure.”

“I’ll have to go through the house and separate what I want to keep.” He laughed harshly. “Offhand I can’t think of anything, but there are some boxes stored on the third floor. I remember a few things that belonged to my mother. I was wondering if you could help me?”

“When?”

“Tomorrow?”

“It’s Friday. I have to work. I could come by later or—”

A slow grin spread across his face, crinkling the corners of his eyes and making her heart pound faster.

“What are you smiling at? Some of us do have to work for a living.”

“I know. But I believe I recently inherited the position of your boss, so if it’s okay with me for you to take off Friday, there shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Oh.” How could she have forgotten that he owned the mill? “I never thought of it in those terms, but I guess you’re right. What time do you want me here?”

“Whenever you get up. Say ten?”

“I usually start work at eight-thirty.”

“Consider it a bonus.”

“Thanks.” She stood up and pulled on his hand. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“Home.”

He squeezed her fingers briefly, then released them. “I’m going to stay here tonight.”

“Why?”

“It’s easier for you. Your dad and Anne have reminded me that you have a reputation to preserve.”

“It’s my reputation and I don’t care what people think.” She studied his face, but the mask was slipping into place. She couldn’t read past the handsome lines and familiar features. “You’ll be alone. You said you’d given the housekeeper the rest of the week off.”

“I don’t mind.” He glanced around. “The old man is gone and the ghosts with him. This is where I belong.”

Jenny stepped down to the floor of the foyer. Isn’t that what she’d already figured out? This house, less than two miles from her own, was light-years away in style and substance. Their only bond was the memories they shared. Even those had begun to fade.

But all the rationalization in the world didn’t stop the disappointment and hurt. Foolishly, she’d hoped he’d come home with her and they could finish the passionate dance they’d begun twice before. Today, of all days, making love would be healing. And they both had plenty of open wounds.

“Then I’ll be going,” she said, walking toward the living room.

After collecting her purse, she moved toward the front of the house. Chase held the door open.

“What are you going to do about dinner?” she asked, hating herself for the show of weakness, despising the hope that he’d invite her to come back.

“Probably just order in a pizza. Or eat the leftovers. I’ll be going through papers tonight,” he said. “Bonds, investments, that kind of thing. My father’s broker sent over a copy of his portfolio.”

In the afternoon light, his dress shirt gleamed like fine linen. The expensive watch on his wrist was not the one she’d bought him so long ago. Her father was right; she didn’t fit in Chase’s world. She never had. Funny how the truth hadn’t changed, just her perception of it.

Ask me to stay
, she pleaded silently.

He offered a smile. “Thanks for your help.” The dismissal was obvious.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, then walked quickly out the door and down the steps. When she reached her car, she turned back. The huge, three-story house loomed over her like a dark, forbidding dragon. She thought of how only a few days before, he’d offered to slay her dragons.

For eleven years she’d mourned the loss of the only man she’d ever loved. Now she knew that loss was as empty and hollow as the promises they had shared. She could not have lost what she could not have had. She’d loved a dream, a fantasy, memories left over from childhood. The reality was as cold and unwelcoming as the Jackson family home.

She would be here at ten tomorrow morning, as he had asked. She would do whatever she could to speed him on his way. The mending of her broken heart would wait until he had made his choices and moved on. One last gesture of concern, one last act of kindness. Not because she loved him, but because they had always been more than friends.

C
hase looked out the front window for the third time in as many minutes. It was only nine-thirty. Jenny wouldn’t arrive for another half hour, but he couldn’t stop looking for her.