Becoming Your Spouse's Better Half

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Johnson, Rick, 1956-

Becoming your spouse’s better half : why differences make a marriage great / Rick Johnson.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0-8007-3250-9 (pbk.)

1. Marriage—Religious aspects—Christianity. 2. Sex differences—Religious aspects—Christianity. I. Title.

BV835.J63 2010

248.8’44—dc22 2009034666

Published in association with the literary agency of WordServe Literary Group, Ltd., 10152 S. Knoll Circle, Highlands Ranch, CO 80130.

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

This book is dedicated to Scott and Terry for the model they set and for their encouragement. Also to Dick and Dot for their love and example.

And of course, to the love of my life, the woman who taught me to love—my “till death do us part” bride, Suzanne. You’ll always be my girl.

Acknowledgments

I
would like to thank Greg and Becky Johnson for the initial idea of and their invaluable help with this book.

Also, I’d like to thank my editor Dr. Vicki Crumpton, who is (surprisingly) not tired of working with me yet. I also would like to acknowledge all the people at my publisher who work so hard behind the scenes to produce and sell my books. I truly believe God gave me the best publishing house and the best people I could ever want to work with—thank you!

I’d also like to thank the many women who responded to my questionnaires while I was trying to understand how women think and what they need. (I’ve changed their names to protect their privacy.) Your patience and honesty were invaluable as I searched for a glimpse inside the complicated soul of the female gender.

Ceasing to be “in love” need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense—love as distinct from “being in love”—is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. . . . “Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.

C. S. Lewis,
Mere Christianity

Introduction

Marriage Is Tough

M
arriage is tough. Anyone who says it isn’t is either a liar or a fool. Even after twenty-eight years of marriage, trying to understand and satisfy my wife’s needs is still a daunting challenge. And I’m sure she feels the same way about me.

It’s not that we don’t have great times together. In fact, we’re best friends. I enjoy her company as much or more than I ever have. My respect for her has grown exponentially over the years. Over time the initial rush of heart-stopping passion, lust, and infatuation has been replaced by a more mature, steady, deeper love and affection. I still find her the most beautiful and mysterious creature I’ve ever known.

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