“You won’t.”
“What?” She turned to face him. “What is that supposed to mean?”
He moved closer, stopping when he was standing directly in front of her. “I’ll admit I’ve spent the last eleven years running. But at least I was moving. You’ve stagnated here. At one time, your family and the town provided you with a safe haven. You’ve taken that security and turned it into a prison. You’ve allowed your obligations to bury you. I don’t think your family is interested in a living sacrifice.”
“How dare you?” Her hands clenched into fists. “How dare you come back and judge me? You don’t know anything about me or my life.”
“I know that I love you.”
It was like taking a sucker punch to the stomach. All the air rushed from her lungs. The blood drained from her head leaving her dizzy and unsure of her balance.
“Chase?”
“What did you expect?” He hauled her against him and held her in a bear hug. “My God, after all we’ve been through together, how could I not? I came here expecting to lay a few ghosts to rest and see the old man. I didn’t know I’d find the piece of myself that’s been missing.” He kissed her forehead. “I didn’t know I’d find you.”
He took her hands in his and kissed her knuckles. The dark brown of his eyes flared with fire and an emotion she allowed herself to believe was love.
“Marry me, Jenny.”
She blinked. No way he’d said what she thought he’d said. She must have misunderstood.
“Marry me,” he repeated. “Take a chance on us. On life. Come back with me. Love me.” His gaze dropped to her midsection, then raised. “Bear our children. Grow old with me.”
Third time’s the charm, she thought as the tears collected and rolled down her cheeks. The strength of his feelings overwhelmed her.
“Stay,” she whispered, holding tightly onto his fingers. “Stay with me. It will be different now. You can change things here. Make a fresh start.”
The fire faded, leaving a hopeless expression on his face. His mouth tightened. “I can’t stay. My life is in Phoenix.”
She released his hands. “I can’t go. My life is here. I have—”
“Obligations. I know.” He swallowed and nodded. “I’ll take you home.”
“Please don’t.”
He looked questioning.
It wasn’t fair, she thought. They had come so far only to lose everything. She had been right; this love had been a mistake and now fate or circumstances or something was trying to set it right. She would concede her defeat later—alone. But not yet.
“You have a few more days,” she said. “Can’t we be together, share what’s left?”
“It won’t make up for a lifetime.”
“I know. But it’s better than the alternative.”
“Being apart?” He studied her, considering, weighing her offer. “You’re right. We will be soon enough.”
“If we’d only listened to our families’ objections we would have spared each other a whole lot of pain.”
“Do you regret loving me?” He asked the question so calmly, as if determined not to let her know how much the answer might hurt.
“Never. You are my life.” She reached for the first button of the shirt she wore and undid it. Then the next. When she was finished, she slipped the garment from her shoulders and let it slide to the floor. “I have only ever belonged to you.”
He groaned out her name, then swept her up in his arms and carried her back to their bed. Back to the magic that kept the world at bay, back to a moment of forever stolen from a love that could never be.
*
“Signed, sealed and delivered.” Frank Davidson capped the pen, then grinned. “Son, you’ve just walked away from a multi million-dollar corporation. Any regrets?”
Chase looked past the older man toward the circle of people watching the ceremony. His gaze moved over their faces, cataloging features, acknowledging their hopes and expectations. Until he reached Jenny. She stood in the back of his father’s office, poised by the door. He hadn’t heard her come in, but had sensed it, feeling her presence as surely as he felt the floor beneath his feet.
The makeup couldn’t hide her pale skin and the pain. He knew he looked worse. They’d had four days—four nights. For once, the lawyers had worked at a breakneck pace. A week ago he would have been grateful, now he wanted to turn back the clock and relive those short hours in Jenny’s arms.
“Regrets?” He looked back at Frank. “Only one.”
“Too late.” The older man motioned to the bottles of champagne waiting on the desk. “It’s time to celebrate. Where are the glasses?”
By the time the drinks had been poured and the success of the new company toasted, Jenny was gone. Chase thought about following her, but held back. He’d used up all the words he had. In the hours before dawn, he’d let his body plead one last time. She heard the request and her answer had been the same.
She wouldn’t leave.
He forced himself to smile at the well-wishers and slowly made his way to the door. The long hallway was empty. Party sounds rose up through the floorboards. The office staff were celebrating in the lunchroom. Outside, the mill workers gathered by the picnic tables.
He walked down the stairs, then circled around the crowd outdoors. At the entrance to the mill, he picked up a hard hat, protective goggles and ear plugs. Despite the good news, the furnaces burned hot and bright. Machinery clattered with a deafening roar. Steel production stopped for no one.
Within seconds, sweat poured down his back. The smell and ash filled his nose and coated his tongue. The familiar sensation made him long for the clean desert air. He could see his house standing on the rise, the red orange sun drifting over the western horizon, feel the warmth from the ground, hear the calling of the birds, the barking of a neighbor’s dog. But this time, the vision was different. This time Jenny waited at the door, a towheaded child balanced on her hip, her rounded belly declaring the presence of their soon-to-be youngest. Her smile caught his eye, drawing him closer. Her love wrapped around him, soothing away his troubles, easing his spirit.
For eleven years he’d tried to forget, had told himself it didn’t matter. He’d come home to prove them all wrong, but the lesson had been his.
He heard his name and turned. Mark Anders waved from the catwalk overhead.
“What?” Chase asked, pulling out one earplug.
“I said, thanks buddy,” Mark called. “I owe you.”
He shook his head and replaced the plug. “No. Now we’re even.”
The cooling steel lay in thin sheets. Chase reached out to touch one, then remembered the burn scars on his fingers. He’d given the mill everything he had. Eleven years ago, he’d run away with nothing but a few hundred dollars and the clothes on his back. Tomorrow morning, he’d take a plane instead of driving, but little else had changed. He’d come with nothing, he’d leave with nothing.
Not true, he thought as he stepped outside. He’d been given Jenny’s love and had offered his own in return. That it hadn’t been enough was something he’d think about later.
When he reached the front of the office building, he turned and looked back at the mill. Smoke and steam belched toward the sky. Workers moved around like pygmies feeding a hungry god.
Stay, she had asked him. Stay and make a difference.
He shook his head. He’d been to hell and the devil lived inside a steel mill. He’d offer his life for her, but he wouldn’t—no,
couldn’t
—stay.
Glancing up at the windows, he saw her standing, staring down at him. They’d said their goodbyes that morning. A tangle of sheets and bodies and tears. One last time, he’d asked her to come with him. One last time, she’d asked him to stay.
They’d never see each other again.
“Chase!” Frank Davidson stepped out onto the pavement. “I’ve been looking for you, son. Got those signed contracts here. You won’t want to forget your copy.”
Chase took the offered papers, then looked back up at the window. Jenny was gone.
*
“Are you going to eat that piece of chicken, girl, or are you going to chase it around your plate all night?”
Jenny shrugged. “I’m not very hungry.”
Her father frowned. “There something you want to tell me?”
“Leave her alone, Frank,” Jenny’s mother ordered. “She doesn’t have to eat dinner if she doesn’t want to.”
“Does your tummy hurt, Aunt Jenny?” Tammy asked from the chair next to hers. The five-year-old leaned over and whispered, “If it does, can I have your dessert?”
For the first time that day, Jenny smiled. “Sure, honey. Grandmother made chocolate pudding, just for you.”
Tammy giggled. “I like celebrating. Can we do this tomorrow?”
Frank took a long swallow from his bottle of beer. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime event, Tammy. We own the mill and we’re going to make a go of it.”
“Goody!” Tammy offered her grandfather a grin, then turned back to Jenny. “What’s a mill?”
The rest of the family laughed. Jenny wondered if they all knew she was dying inside and were pretending not to notice, or if she was somehow keeping her pain to herself.
Two extra leaves had been inserted in the big dining-room table. Even so, they had to squeeze to fit in all the family. Anne and her husband sat opposite. Except for Tammy, the other children had been fed and put to bed. Mary and her fiancé sat next to Tammy, while Randi had driven down from Pittsburgh to share in the celebration. Her mother’s brother and his wife sat on either side of her father, and her mother took the last seat on the opposite end of the table.
These people were her salvation, she thought, remembering the troubled times after the rape. They had stood by her. Anne had cooked special meals to tempt her appetite. Randi and Mary had kept her company every day after school. Her mother had been a rock, even when the older woman had found her crying over a baby blanket she’d kept tucked in the corner of her dresser drawer. Her mother had never said anything, had just held her close and promised it would get easier.
And her father. Jenny glanced at the older man as he laughed and told jokes. He’d taught her about strength and family and the value of standing up for what you believe in. He’d shown her that loyalty was a trait without price; it couldn’t be bought, it had to be earned. There might be gray in his hair and a few more wrinkles around his eyes, but he was as vital and commanding as ever. He’d outlive them all.
Her mother rose from the table and picked up the empty plates. Jenny stood up and began to help, as well. In the kitchen, she bent to load the dishwasher.
“Mom, could I stay here tonight?”
“I thought you’d be with Chase.”
Jenny flushed and straightened. “I didn’t think you knew about that.”
Her mother chuckled. “Honey, your father tried to call you a few nights ago. There wasn’t any answer. It took all my powers of persuasion to keep him from driving over to the big house and hunting Chase with a shotgun.”
“I’m glad you were successful.”
“Me, too.” The other woman smiled. “So, why aren’t you there, where you belong?”
Jenny rinsed a glass. “We said our goodbyes this morning.”
“Did he ask you to go with him?”
She nodded.
“And you said no.”
“I couldn’t leave. There’s too much here.”
“I understand.”
She glanced at her mother. The green eyes, so much like her own, flickered with what could have been disappointment.
“What?” Jenny asked. “You can’t
want
me to go.”
“I want you to be happy.” She opened a cupboard and brought down a stack of dessert plates. “Don’t you think you deserve that?”
“I guess.”
Her mother pulled the bowl of pudding from the fridge and placed it on the counter. There were already two cakes and a pie cut up and ready to be served.
“Look at all these calories,” her mother said. “I’ll have to walk an extra mile tomorrow. Randi’s spending the night in her old room. You can take the guest room. As for the rest, if staying in Harrisville makes you happy, then stay. And if leaving— Well, you’re a bright girl. You figure it out.”
*
The next morning, Jenny rose to watch the dawn. From the enclosed back porch, she could see across the river. The Jackson house wasn’t visible, but she knew where it stood amidst the groves of trees. How much longer would it stand there, a lone sentinel of a bygone era? Chase had donated the house and the land to the town. Already committees were being formed to decide the fate of the steel baron’s estate.
Had he slept at all? Had he sensed that the night lasted forever, yet passed too quickly? As long as it remained dark, as long as the sun didn’t rise over the horizon, it wasn’t really tomorrow. He wasn’t really leaving. She’d stayed awake, begging time to slow. But even now, the first golden rays began to chase away the shadows. It was tomorrow. Once again, time had betrayed her.
Sipping on the steaming cup of coffee, she waited for the day. She would keep busy enough. There were reports to prepare, financial statements for the bank, schedules, a hundred tasks to keep her from thinking about him, wondering if his plane had left yet, if he’d arrived safely, if he was thinking of her.
She closed her eyes and willed her love to travel the distance between them, to wake him if he slumbered, to let him know that she would remember him with every pore of her being.
“You’re up early.” Her father stepped onto the porch behind her. “I used to have to drag you out of bed.”
“That was a long time ago.”
“True enough. Things change. Not all of them, though.”
She glanced at him, but his face was expressionless. “What do you mean?”
“You and that Jackson boy. I told myself it wouldn’t last. I was wrong.”
“Don’t worry, Daddy. I’m not leaving you and the mill.”
“Hmmph. I could hire five different people in a second who could do your job.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yes, but it’s more than just working.”
“Guess you get that from me,” he admitted. “The mill’s always been important to this family. Sometimes it was my whole life. Your mother put up with a lot.”
“We all did,” she teased.
“It’s been my dream.”
She’d had dreams once, she thought. Of a future with Chase, somewhere beyond the confines of Harrisville. Of freedom and hope, the ability to choose.