More Than Friends (Kingsley #4) (18 page)

She shrugged again
.“
What if I need a label
?
” Her voice was muffled against his chest as she spoke, but she went on
.“
What if I need to know what I am? Where I stand
?
”

“
Do you
?
”

“
I do
n’
t know, Michael. I feel lik
e
… not labeling something is a way of sayin
g
– maybe i
t’
s a way of saying it is
n’
t important
.
”

“
You know tha
t’
s not what
I’
m saying. This
is
important to me. Whatever we decide to call it, Renee, this
matters
to me. And I know I might be a little late to the game her
e
–“ he gripped her hands tighter as she tried to pull them away, her brows coming together as she frowned
.“
Wait,
I’
m not done. And
I’
m not saying anything right, and I know that, bu
t
… Renee you know me. So yo
u’
ll know I do
n’
t mean what you feel like
I’
m saying
.
”

“
Well, you know me too, Michael
,
” she answered, stepping back to look up at him. Her eyes moved over his face, her lips pursed as she watched him
.“
You know what I want out of life, and you know why I gave in and went out with Harvey an
d
… Michael, I
want
the next step in my life. I
want
a label. I
want
something that means something
!
” Her eyes flashed, filled with tears, and she closed them.

Michael watched her struggle for control, his chest aching as he recognized his own loneliness radiating out of her. His stomach twisted, his thoughts were racing, and he was about to lose a woman he cared fo
r
– agai
n
– if he did
n’
t step up and find a way to explain what he felt
.“
Renee. Look at me
.
” He waited, but she shook her head in silent refusal, so he stepped forward and wrapped her in his arms. Her breath left her in a shuddering whisper, and she stiffened again as Michael turned them away from the dresser. He guided her to her bed, no longer thinking of the way it would feel to press her into the mattress with the weight of his body, but instead only seeking a place for her to sit.

Once h
e’
d steered her to the bed and pressed her shoulders to urge her down, Michael knelt next to the bed, still holding her hands in his own. Their hands rested in her lap, gripped tightly together on the soft fabric of her pajamas. Smiling softly, he traced one of the smiley motifs on her thigh with the tip of his thumb, giving her time to gain control before he looked up into her face
.“
Renee, listen to me. Okay? Just listen. What I mean is that I obviously took a long time to notice wha
t’
s been right in front of me. And honestly, apparently
I’
m an idiot because it seems like everybody noticed this but me.
I’
m not even kidding, my family is talking about it, waiting for me to see wha
t’
s been right in front of me
.
”

She jerked in surprise, her hands tightening against his
.“
They are
?
”

“
They are. But that does
n’
t matter, tha
t’s
– i
t’
s not what I was going to say
.
”

“
Well, say it then
.
”

“
Look, I do
n’
t need a label to know how I feel Renee, now that I know how I feel. And I do
n’
t need a label to know what I want from this. Tha
t’
s all I meant earlier. But if you need a label
?
” He sighed, swallowing his fear. He knew fairly well that if he reached out to her, she would
n’
t reject him. She would
n’
t have taken his hand and led him to her bedroom if she had
n’
t wanted something to happen. No, he was
n’
t afraid of rejection. What he feared was following her cues,his desires, and taking the next step in a definite way that could
n’
t be undon
e
… and ultimately losing her somehow, too.

But then, Michael had never let fear of risk rule his life. He had started a business from nothing, afraid of failing but willing to go for it. And he would go for it now, too
.“
Alright, Renee. If you need a label
,
” he said again, watching goosebumps break out on her arm as he stroked tiny circles along her wrist
.“
Then w
e’
ll think of one
.
”

A tear dropped onto his hand and he looked up again, surprised. Renee smiled, embarrassed, and shook her head
.“
I do
n’
t
,
” she said
.“
I do
n’
t need a label right now. But
I’
m just saying, because this matters to me, because yo
u’
re my best friend other than Chelse
a
… and because I care so much about you and I value our friendshi
p
…
I’
m going to need one. If w
e’
re friends, w
e’
re friends. If w
e’
re something els
e
…
I’
ll wanna know what we are
.
”

Michael looked into her face, watching her lie, knowing that she was promising more than she could give. She was
n’
t the kind of girl to have one night stands, or to have meaningless relationships. She was
n’
t the type to be someon
e’
s booty call. And, like Sherry, Renee might pretend she could be a casual woma
n
– and maybe, like it had for Sherry, it would work for a while. Michael had been blind enough to let it happen with Sherry, blind enough to take her at her word without realizing what she really needed from him. He would
n’
t make the same mistake with Renee
.“
Alright, then
,
” he said, standing up
.“
How about we just do
n’
t bother with the waiting. Because w
e’
re obviously not just friends, or we would
n’
t be dealing with this right
?
”

Renee nodded, watching silently as Michael moved away. He saw the confusion clouding her face as he crossed the room to the window, and he heard her sigh as he pulled back the yellow sheers to stare out into the night. He took his time, listening as her shuddered breath grew steady again, contentedly inhaling her summer scent. How was it that she always smelled that way, even the morning after they had spent the night at the hospital? It was like the scent memory of his famil
y’
s early vacations to the tropics was somehow buried just beneath her skin, releasing fumes that reminded him of safety and fun and simplicity, before his childhood had left him behind and life had gotten complicated.

It was certainly complicated now; his relationship with Renee had always been laid-back and easy-going. They had shared countless jokes, made countless memorie
s
– but as friends. Could they build on what was there? Probably. They had come this far, had built a solid foundation, had attempted to talk through their differences over the years. Michael and Renee each had a good sense of the best way to communicate with the other; they had had their share of disagreements, but they did try to be patient and hear each other out. More importantly, they shared an unshakeable sense of respect for each other.

But they
had
haddisagreements. They had argued politics, policies, parenting, music. There had been arguments that had left them feeling awkward around each other, times when they would
n’
t talk as much and would even grow distant from each otheruntil life and the need for each othe
r’
s companionship brought them close again. He had always thought it a good thing that they could find their way back, but could they really build on what was there? If they crossed the line, would they be able to make it last?

If he was honest with himself, he would have to admit what he had already realized some time ag
o
– that they had already gone past the boundary between
friends
and
more
. And he knew in that moment, just as he knew that bread was
bread
and water was
water
, that Renee was
his
– he only needed to know if she felt it, too.Michael's heart twisted in his chest, fear and nerves mingling with excitement as he struggled to gather his thoughts, to prepare his words. Finally, he turned back to look at Renee again, taking in the set of her shoulders, the curious tilt of her head, the challenge in her eyes. Narrowing his own eyes, Michael mimicked her crossed arms, leaning back against the wall. "You want a label? How about this one?" he said quietly. "How abou
t‘
good morning beautifu
l’
? Or 'honeybee?' O
r‘
whatever it i
s
’ – I know you like country music;you probably know those songs, right
?
”

“
Yo
u’
re giving me country songs
?
” Surprised, she tipped her head and stared
.“
You listen to country music
?
”

“
I listen to all music
,
” he laughed
.“
I thought you knew that. Alright, forget the music. How about 'Sunday brunch?'"

"Sunday brunch?" she asked, laughing. "I'm not a plate of scrambled eggs and hash browns, Michael."

Grinning in relief as the tension between them finally broke, Michael stalked across the room and pulled Renee from the edge of the bed. She was still laughing, and did
n’
t resist as he pulled her against his chest and dropped his arms around her waist. "Oh, the responses I could make to that statement."

“
I can only imagine
,
” Renee answered. She brought her hands up between them, sliding them up his chest and over his shoulders to link her fingers behind his neck
.“
Are we really doing this
?
”

Michael dropped his forehead to hers, looking down into hazel eyes full of unspoken questions. Her lips were slightly parted as she looked up at him, and her fingertips tickled through the hairs at the nape of his neck
.“
You know what?I think we are
.
”

Renee rose up on tiptoes to kiss him, her lips soft against his
.“
I guess we should see how it works then, hmm
?
”

His heart leaped in his chest, anticipation mingling with relief as she stepped closer and her body molded itself to his. The skin at the back of his neck tingled under her fingertips, and his entire body felt electrified by her closeness. Her own excitement seemed to vibrate through her in a series of fine shivers, and Michael brought one hand up to cup the back of her head, lowering his mouth to hers. The popcorn taste had gone from her lips, but he found the sweet saltiness of the buttery treat on the tip of her tongue as it dueled with his. She moaned softly as he swept his tongue between her lips, and caught him by surprise as she closed her lips around his tongue and sucked. His dick jerked behind the constricting fabric of his jeans; she felt it and smiled against his mouth.

“
Oh you think yo
u’
ve got surprises, hmm
?
” Michael murmured. Ather slight nod, he scooped her off her feet and turned to the bed, dropping her across the foot of the bed. The popcorn bowl bounced between the pillows at the other end and tipped over, spilling little puffs of fluffy buttered popcorn across the blankets. Laughing, Michael snatched a handful of popcorn and popped a piece into his mouth
.“
Finally
,
” he said
.“
All that work, but I got what I came for. Guess
I’
ll go home to bed now
.
”

Still lying flat on her back, Renee bent one knee, allowing her other leg to dangle over the edge of the bed
.“
Right. I seriously doubt you came here for popcorn
.
”

“
Yeah, I guess yo
u’
re right. Maybe it was
n’
t
just
the popcorn
.
” Sweeping the mess to one side of the bed, Michael moved the pretty glass bowl to the nightstand and lowered himself to the mattress beside her. Hesitating, he held one hand over her stomach, wanting to touch her but afraid to go too far.

Finally, Renee reached up and took his hand, pressing it down so that his palm rested flat against her stomach, just below her breasts
.“
It was mainly the popcorn though, right
?
”

“
Tha
t’
s how
I’
m going to tell this story
,
” Michael answered, looking down the length of their bodies. He watched his hand rise and fall with her breath, watched the way the ribbed fabric of her tank top smoothed and wrinkled with her movements
.“
In my version,
you
totally came onto
me
.
”

“
Right
,
” she laughed
.“
Because tha
t’
s totally how it happened, in
my
house, which
you
drove to uninvited
.
”

Her stomach tensed with her laughter, and he looked up in time to watch her eyes crease, sparkling with amusement
.“
Some kind of vixen, you are
,
” Michael teased. She gasped softly as he leaned over her, his chest covering her breasts as he lowered his lips to hers. He paused, watching her eyes flutter closed, and lowered his mouth to hers again in the barest touch, skimming his hand down, over her hip and back up again. Her hands fisted in the fabric of his t-shirt, tugging it up; he pulled away long enough to strip it off and drop it over the edge of the bed
.“
Are you sure yo
u’
re ready for this? It does
n’
t have to be fast
,
” he said, hoping with every cell in his body that she wanted things to be fast. He may have taken a while to realize how much he wanted her, but now that h
e’
d noticed it, there was no way to shut it off, and he desperately wanted relief.

She swallowed, opening her eyes to look at him nervously. Her tongue came out, briefly touching at the corner of her mouth and then disappearing again
.“
Michael
,
” she said softly, taking his hand and guiding it backto her breast
.“
Do you not realize
I’
ve been waiting for you to
see
me for almost two years now
?
”