Morningstar (5 page)

We walked into Raum's office, and Radueriel fidgeted at my side. "Don't worry. Raum is very good at what he does."

"I remember other things he was very good at," he mumbled.

I laughed and pulled him along, heading straight for Raum's office. Being the leader of a great rebellion offered me perks in this world.

Raum was seated behind his great desk, talking rapidly to someone on the phone. He motioned for us to sit down and quickly brought an end to the conversation. Raum had not changed much since his expulsion; he was tall with fiery hair and emerald eyes, pale skin and sharp features. He smiled at us, and the expression seemed to almost pain him. "Good morning, Lucas! And, Radueriel! What a surprise!" He leaned back in his chair, eying my lover with interest.

"He needs a job, Reegan," I said, glaring at one of my commanders. In the nine days it took for the host of Heaven to defeat the angelic rebellion, Raum had commanded a large legion of the rebellious under my name.

Raum raised an eyebrow. "Does he? I thought he had a job, Lucas, taking dictation for Him," he said bitterly.

"Raum," I hissed, narrowing my eyes and leaning forward in my seat. "He is here now, and he needs a job." I relaxed a bit as Raum's demeanor changed, becoming more subservient. "Does Andrew have anything Rad could do?" I asked, recalling that Andromalius had recently taken the District Attorney position. Andromalius had been a great warrior and leader among my army, and his specialty on Earth was finding and punishing wrongdoers. He made it especially easy to create new identities.

"I am sure he does," Raum said, picking up the phone. "He could always use another legal clerk, and—if you want him to—he could teach Rad how to become a lawyer." He dialed numbers, and I mused on his comment. A lawyer? Radueriel?

Raum spoke with Andrew for several moments in a language that no mortal had spoken for three thousand years, and then nodded and hung up. "Yes, Lucas, he will take Rad on as a clerk and will even begin his studies in human law."

I tilted my head, a ghost of a smile playing on my lips. "Why would he want to be a lawyer, Reegan?"

He sat back, glancing from me to Radueriel and back again. "Come now, Morningstar," he said, dropping all pretenses. "Radueriel is one of the eight judgment princes - something you yourself used to be! He would be perfect working with the law."

"And yet I strip for a living, not sit on a bench and pass sentences over mortals," I reminded him, completely forgetting Radueriel was even in the room.

"That was your choice, Morningstar, and you chose it because it was the farthest thing from your original profession. You may say it is honest work, but we both know the true reason you shake your ass every night: You do not want to be reminded of what you are."

I jumped up, slamming my hand down onto the surface of his desk. "I am that no longer!"

Raum sat back, lacing his fingers and resting them on his chest. "We cannot change what He made us, my Liege," he said. "Even in this world, we cannot escape what we once were. Andromalius works as a lawyer; Gadriel is part of the Department of Defense; Murmur is a professor at Duke University; Azaradel is a professor of astronomy - hell, even Cahor's job reflects what he once was among Heaven's army: he's a magician! All this time, all this distance, all this change has not altered our purpose, Morningstar. We have come to accept it; when will you?" he asked me, his emerald eyes flashing with wisdom I thought beyond him.

"When do I begin?" came a soft voice. We both looked toward Radueriel, who sat with his head bowed and his hands folded neatly in his lap.

"Next Monday," Raum said. "Andrew will draw up a birth certificate for 'Rad', a social security card, and build a history for you. You will need to buy some appropriate clothing, suits, ties, and decent shoes. Do you know how to write the human language?"

Radueriel nodded. "I learned how," he replied, lifting his head. "I am eager to begin this new life." Radueriel stood up. "Thank you, Reegan, I appreciate all your help. Andrew's, too."

Raum stood as well. "I am sure he is looking forward to seeing you again, Rad." Raum extended his hand and Radueriel took it, shaking the fallen angel's hand firmly. "Good luck," he said. "Now, if you will excuse me, I have another client who should arrive any moment."

I nodded and gently rested my hand on Radueriel's back, leading him out of the office. We walked leisurely down the sidewalk, our hands entwined, enjoying the warmth of spring. We hadn't gotten far when Radueriel spoke.

"Why do you do that, Lucas?" he asked me.

"Do what?"

Radueriel stopped and leaned against the side of a building. "Why do you fight what you are? Reegan was right, you know. We can never get very far from our purpose, from our fates. You transcend us all in your glory and knowledge, Morningstar. You were chief among us, His First, His most beloved. You still are, or else He would not have allowed me to come to you. You were His judge, His adviser, His confidant; you were the highest of all of us, kneeling beside His throne in admiration and love. You served Him with pleasure and joy. Your purpose is not to sell your body. It is so much greater than that, and He would show it to you, if you would but let him. Why do you still run?"

My ears rang with his words, and my eyes filled with tears. "I am the Morningstar - the Light Bringer," I said, my voice trembling. "I was first among the angels. I was the first brought into Being. I was the first to be loved. I was the first to command. I was the first to question. I was the first to sin. And I am the first who will not become what He wants me to be. I am my own, and He cannot change that." I lifted my chin defiantly, exhaling a long, slow breath.

He stared at me for a long time, as if weighing if I believed my own words. Radueriel nodded then and smiled. "I need clothes, Lucas," he stated. "Take me shopping."

I laughed and the moment passed, the shadows of my past returning to their dark corners.

Radueriel settled in easily in Andromalius' offices. He excelled at his tasks, and Andromalius had to, on several occasions, remind Radueriel that this was Earth and he should pace himself accordingly. I must say, my lover climbed the ladder of Andromalius' office quickly. He started off as a simple clerk, doing much of the boring work—or as I heard Radueriel refer to it more than once, the 'shit work'—which no one else wanted to bother with. By his second month, though, he was promoted to Head Law Librarian. I was proud of him, and he loved his work.

I continued to strip. I refused Andromalius' generous offer to become a partner in one of his affiliated law practices. Radueriel had tried to convince me to accept the position, but my pride would not allow it. Funny how my pride continued to be the bane driving my existence, was it not? Radueriel's pay more than compensated for my lack of entertaining clients, and I was able to cut back on how often I danced. I even began to read some of the law books Radueriel brought home, though I doubt he knew about it.

Then, three months after Radueriel came back into my life and turned my world upside down, it went heels over head again.

Most of my regular clients had been more than gracious when I returned their generous tips and explained to them that I was no longer performing my 'special services'. A couple had expressed disappointment and given me their cards if I ever started again. Jon had even insisted that I keep the extra money he paid me the night I told him.

When Hunter walked into the club that night and slipped two hundreds into my thong, I expected nothing different. It was not unusual for Hunter not to seek my company for months at a time, so I had not had a chance to say anything to him. I sidled up beside him after my set and casually placed the two bills on the table in front of him. I gave him the usual spiel about how I was in a relationship now and had agreed to stop.

"Who would be in a relationship with you, whore?" he said quite loudly. "You just want more money, don't you? Well, fuck that, you little shit! I know where you live, remember? Give me what I paid for or I'll come and take it!"

Hunter was just standing up and reaching for me when Jeff, the bouncer, clapped a huge hand on his shoulder and forcefully dragged him out the door.

"You okay?" Jeff asked me when he came back in.

I nodded absently, quickly palming the two hundreds that Hunter had abandoned. "Yeah, I'm good."

"You didn't take that maggot home with you, did you?" Jeff knew about my little side business, though he never confronted me about it. He'd simply been around long enough to know the kinds of things that went on; after all, it wasn't as though I was the only one doing it.

"'Fraid so," I said. "Up until now, he's only been a little bit of a prick, in more ways than one." I wiggled my little finger and winked at Jeff when he got the joke. "He'll get over it."

Just to be sure, though, I excused myself and called Radueriel from the phone in the dressing room. I often made calls like that just to hear his voice, so he was not surprised to hear from me. We chatted casually for a couple of minutes before my next set. I said nothing of what had happened with Hunter, but I did remind him to keep the doors locked and not to let anyone in.

The rest of the night crept by slowly and uneventfully, and closing time finally arrived. Jeff asked me again if I was okay, and offered to walk me home, just in case. I thanked him, but said I was fine and could manage on my own.

Yep, you guessed it. Pride again.

The back door had barely shut behind me when a blow to the stomach doubled me over. Immortal and angelic though I was, in this earthly form, I was not resistant to pain, and a fist to the gut was definitely one of the more persistent types. Hunter stepped out of the darkness of the alley and punched me across the face, knocking me to the ground.

Before I could get up, two more figures rushed out of the shadows. Each grabbed one of my arms and dragged me to the side of the club's dumpster. Hunter came up behind me, grabbed my hair, and slammed my face into the unforgiving metal. My vision swam before my eyes. But for the two brutes holding me up, I would have slumped over.

"I told you I'd take what I wanted, whore," Hunter hissed at me. I heard the click of a switchblade an instant before he slashed at my jeans and ripped them off. Dazed and held as I was, I was powerless to stop him as he forced himself roughly into me without even the courtesy of lubrication.

I'm not sure if it was over quickly or if I simply lost consciousness partway through. When he was done, however much later it was, his two friends released me, and I dropped to my knees. Hunter, though, wasn't quite finished. He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me around to face him as he rammed the switchblade into my chest. Then he threw me back against the dumpster and turned away, walking toward the street.

Up until that point, I was perfectly content to let him go his merry way. I could have endured those other minor indignities with some measure of civility. It was not the first time that I'd been taken by force throughout the millennia, after all. But stabbing me in the chest was simply rude.

I pulled the knife from my chest and let it fall to the ground with a clatter. Closing my eyes and shutting out the rest of the pain, I pulled myself to my feet, and then I did something I hadn't done in nearly fifteen hundred years. With an effort of concentration, I willed my angelic form to come forth. I do not know why God chose not to strip me of my wings completely as he had the others, but when I felt them rip my shirt apart as they exploded from my tattooed back, I actually breathed a 'thank You' to the Almighty.

Hunter and his thugs were just about to reach the sidewalk when I leapt into the air and flew over them, touching down just at the entrance to the alley. What they thought when they saw me appear before them, naked and winged, I cannot truly say. What I can say is that it had obviously been too long since mankind had been in the presence of angels, because the sight did not affect them in quite the way you might have expected. Rather than shrinking in fear or awe, as they would have in the time before Jesus, they offered up the typical twenty-first century human response when presented with something that could not be rationalized or explained. That is to say, they ignored it.

Hunter snarled, "Get out of my way, freak!" He aimed another punch at my jaw, but now I was no longer bound by human reflexes. I raised my hand, catching his fist in my palm, and squeezed until I heard the crunch of bones. He collapsed to the asphalt, clutching his mangled hand and whimpering.

"Do not
ever
come back to this club again," I said through clenched teeth.

How he did it, I'll never know, but the heavy on Hunter's right managed to scrape together enough bravado to step forward and challenge me. "And if we do?" he taunted.

I grabbed him by the front of his shirt and lifted him off the ground. I beat my wings once, making sure to brush his face with the outermost feathers, and pulled myself into the air a couple of feet as well. "If you do?" I parroted into his suddenly terrified face. "If you do, well, I would say 'Heaven help you', but I have it on good authority that it won't."

Then, just to be an asshole, I dropped the guy on his buddy before flying back to where my duffel bag had fallen by the door. I looked up long enough to see the three of them running across the street as fast as they could go. I sighed with exhaustion and pulled my wings back, feeling them disappear again into the ink pattern against my skin. Then I dug a change of clothes out of the bag and got dressed so that I could finally go home.

By the time I opened the front door to the apartment, my muscles had begun to ache painfully. I locked the door securely and leaned against it for a moment, fighting a wave of dizziness. When it passed, I made my way to the bedroom. Radueriel was curled up on the bed, my pillow held tightly in his arms as he slumbered. I smiled, the sight warming my bones as I went into the bathroom.

I shut and threw the latch on the bathroom door; I didn't want him to see me just yet. I was bloody and bruised, and I wanted to wash the filth of that man from my body. I drew a bath, generously adding Epsom salts and lavender oil to the hot water. I avoided my reflection as I stripped, biting my lip as I bent at the waist to pull my pants off. Slowly, I sat in the water, whimpering as the heated water washed against my torn opening.

I quickly washed the semen from my thighs and between my buttocks, gingerly exploring what damage had been done. Within a few days I would be healed, but until then, it would sting. I sighed and slipped lower in the water, thinking about Hunter and such atrocities as what had just happened to me.

That was the world Radueriel walked out into each day when he left my side. My beautiful dark angel with piercing blue eyes. He was so kind that I did not think he could fend off an attacker, and I did not think he could survive such a violation. His soul was still unsullied, still bright and warm.

He had to go back.

I could not allow him to remain in this world where our kind were forgotten, where our beauty only led to hurt. Radueriel may no longer be able to beseech God for a favor, but I knew one who could.

I carefully dried my body, coating my abused flesh with ointment before crawling into the inviting embrace of my lover.

"You're home," he whispered sleepily as I slid in beside him.

"Yes," I replied just as quietly, pulling the blankets over our bodies.

Radueriel nuzzled my neck as he wrapped his arms wound my waist. "I missed you."

I kissed the top of his head. "Shh. Go back to sleep."

His breathing soon slowed again, and he laid heavily over me, and I remained awake, listening to his heart beat, savoring his closeness.