Mother’s Ruin (29 page)
On Monday, Laura’s funeral was a sad affair, and to Andrew the bright, sunny, June day seemed incongruous. The sky should be grey, as grey as his mood. There weren’t many in attendance, just himself, Denis, Ruth and a few neighbours.
Andrew rose to his feet as the service ended and they left the small chapel to see scant floral tributes laid on the ground outside.
‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ a woman said, and Andrew turned to look at her.
‘Thank you, and thank you for coming. I’m sorry. I don’t know your name.’
‘It’s Jessie, Jessie Stone, and like Nelly over there, I live in Candle Lane.’
‘Well, thank you again for coming,’ he said before Jessie moved on to offer her condolences to Denis.
Andrew walked over to Ruth, saying quietly, ‘I still think that Tommy should be here.’
‘It was his father’s decision to send him to school, but I must admit, it feels strange that the boy has no idea that his mother is being buried today.’
‘Denis seems to think that he’s too young to understand.’
‘I doubt that. Tommy is astute for his age. Still, we’d best make our way back. Sally has laid on a little spread.’
Andrew took Ruth’s arm. He’d be leaving tomorrow, but so much had been left undone. He was worried about Tommy and as Denis was drinking heavily, he wondered what sort of future his nephew would have. At least the boy had Ruth. Tommy clung to her, and in time he felt that Ruth would in some ways become a surrogate mother.
‘Ruth, as I’m leaving tomorrow, will you have dinner with me again this evening?’
‘Yes, of course I will.’
He squeezed her hand and then after a short journey they were pulling up in Candle Lane, walking into the house to see a lovely spread on Ruth’s kitchen table. Andrew looked at the neatly-cut sandwiches Sally had prepared, but found he had no appetite.
A hand touched his arm, and he saw that Sadie had come to his side, her voice soft. ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t there, love. I’m feeling much better nowadays and could have gone to the chapel, but as usual I’m being mollycoddled. I tried to talk Sally into going, but she insisted on staying here with me.’
‘She worries about you,’ Andrew said, his mood low. ‘I wish I’d shown more concern for my sister.’
‘She’s in a better place now, love.’
Andrew found no consolation in Sadie’s words. Guilt still plagued him. He suspected it always would.
An hour passed, then Jessie Stone left along with another woman from the lane, but Nelly Cox stayed behind to help with the clearing up.
‘There’s hardly a sandwich left,’ Andrew said, managing a smile for Sally. ‘Thanks for the lovely spread, lassie.’
She smiled back at him, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. His daughter was unhappy, Andrew knew that, but because Sally had insisted that her marriage was over and wouldn’t let him intervene, he felt helpless. Ruth told him that it was for the best, that Sally would eventually get over it, and he hoped that she was right. In the meantime he’d learned his lesson about keeping in touch, and was determined not to make the same mistake again. Somehow he would see Sally regularly, despite the difficul- ties and distance between them.
‘I need a drink,’ Denis said. ‘I’ll see you later.’
Unsurprised, Andrew nodded, and in this instance he felt that he needed a dram of whisky too. ‘I’ll come with you,’ he said, calling goodbye.
Sally was glad of the help as they cleared up. Heavy on her mind was her father’s departure tomorrow. She was going to miss him. In the short time that he’d been in her life she had come to love him, Andrew being everything that she had dreamed of in a father.
It was strange to think that she had paternal grandparents and a brother, and Sally wondered if she’d ever meet them. She had wanted to ask her father, but in the early stages of their relationship she still found herself a little reticent.
‘Did you see the way Jessie Stone scoffed the ham sandwiches?’ Sadie said. ‘If her mouth had been a bit bigger she’d had shoved them in two at a time.’
‘Yeah, I saw,’ Nelly said. ‘She’s a greedy cow, but enough about Jessie. I’ve got something to tell you.’
‘Spit it out then,’ Sadie urged.
‘I’m moving into Osborne House the day after tomorrow.’
‘Oh, Nelly,’ Sally said sadly, ‘Candle Lane won’t be the same without you.’
‘I’ll be sorry to leave, but the lane won’t be standing for much longer.’
‘Nelly, I’m gonna miss you,’ Sadie said, and reaching into her apron pocket she pulled out a handkerchief, dabbing at her eyes.
‘Gawd blimey, you’re crying, Sadie.’
‘Of course I ain’t. I’ve just got something in me eye.’
‘Yeah, right,’ Nelly said, ‘and pigs might fly. I didn’t know you cared.’
‘Who said I do?’
Nelly chuckled. ‘We go back a long way, you and me. If I remember rightly, you moved into the lane just before our Queen’s Coronation.’
‘Yeah, that’s right, and a lot of water has passed under the bridge since then.’
‘It has, Sadie, it has,’ Nelly said. She sat down opposite Sadie and the two of them started reminiscing with Ruth chipping in now and then.
After an hour, the old lady rose to leave. ‘Nelly,’ Sally said, ‘I’ll come to see you in Osborne House.’
‘Yeah, I will too.’
‘Are you sure about that, Sadie? They might take one look at you and not let you out again.’
‘Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad idea. At least I wouldn’t be a burden to Sally.’
‘Don’t say that, Gran. You’re not a burden and never will be.’
‘Count your blessings, Sadie. You’re lucky to have a loving family.’
‘I know, Nelly, I know.’
Sally walked Nelly to the door where the old woman paused. ‘Sally, I know it’s none of my business, but I was hoping to see you and Arthur back together before I left.’
‘There’s no chance of that, Nelly. My marriage is over.’
‘Are you sure, love? Are you sure that you really want to spend the rest of your life without Arthur?’ and with that comment, Nelly continued on her way.
It was nearly eight o’clock and Andrew was zipping his bag. He was packed, ready for his journey home in the morning, and now, glancing at his watch, he saw it was time to take Ruth out to dinner. Denis was upstairs drunk, sleeping it off, but Andrew suspected that he’d be off to the pub again as soon as he woke up.
Andrew walked next door, Sally answering his knock. ‘Come in, Dad. Mum’s nearly ready.’
He stepped inside, and then paused to lay a hand on Sally’s arm. ‘Listen, lassie. I know I’m leaving, but I’m on the end of a telephone. If you need anything, just let me know. I’ll ring you often, and as soon as I can, I’ll be back to see you.’
‘You’re coming back?’
‘Of course I am. It won’t be for a while as I’ll have a lot of work to catch up on, but as soon as I get the chance, I’ll come down to London again.’
Sally was about to speak, but then Ruth appeared on the stairs. ‘Hello, Andrew. I’m ready.’
Andrew smiled up at her, thinking how lovely she looked, and then turned to speak to Sally again. ‘I’ll be round to see you before I go.’
‘All right. Bye, Dad,’ she said, but Andrew could see the strain on her face.
As they left the house, Andrew took Ruth’s hand. There was a growing intimacy between them, but so far she hadn’t mentioned his offer of financial help. ‘Ruth, have you asked Sally how she feels about looking after her gran yet?’
‘Yes, and she was adamant that she doesn’t mind.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes, I’m sure. Now can we please drop the subject?’ Andrew sighed heavily. He had done nothing for Ruth, or his daughter, and it weighed heavily on his mind. ‘I feel I should be helping you in some way.’
‘For goodness’ sake! Not again! As I told you before, I chose not to tell you about Sally. So will you stop trying to salve your flaming conscience.’
‘That isn’t what I’m trying to do.’
‘Andrew, I’m sorry. Look, it’s your last evening in London so let’s not fall out.’
‘All right, Ruth, but can I just say that if you need anything, anything at all will you let me know?’
‘If it will make you feel better, then yes, I’ll do that.’
They reached the restaurant and after ordering their meal, Andrew said, ‘I hate to see Sally so unhappy. She tries to hide it but I can see it in her eyes.’
‘Me too, and I could kill Arthur for what he’s done to her.’
‘He wants her back.’
‘There’s no chance of that. Arthur was unfaithful, and worse, Sally caught him at it.’
‘I have a feeling she still loves him.’
‘He doesn’t deserve her,’ Ruth said as the first course arrived and after a few mouthfuls she changed the subject. ‘Are you still going to tell your parents about Sally?’
‘Yes, of course. I’ll tell my son too. Secrets have a way of coming out, and meeting you again has proved that.’
‘How do you think they’ll take it?’
’I don’t know. My parents will be shocked, and I’ve no idea how they’ll react. As for Donald, I’ll just have to wait and see.’
‘Sally is going to miss you.’
‘As I told her, I’ll come back to London as soon as I can, and it won’t only be to see Sally.’
‘Won’t it?’
‘I want to see you again too.’
‘Really?’ she said, her face going pink. ‘Yes, really.’ And as Andrew said these words, he knew he meant them.
On the train to Scotland the next morning, Andrew felt torn in two.
It had been a difficult parting. He had hated saying goodbye to Sally, Angel too, both of them breaking down in tears as he left. He was amazed at how quickly he had come to love them. Yet he had to return to Scotland; his life was there, his parents, and his son.
Andrew’s thoughts turned to Ruth, and he examined his feelings. There was no doubt that the spark was still there, and he was sure she felt the same, but with him in Scotland, and Ruth in London, there was little chance of their relationship going any further.
The journey seemed endless; the sound of the wheels riding over the tracks was making Andrew sleepy and he began to doze. Hunger eventually drove him to the dining car, and as he ate, he gazed at the passing scenery, his thoughts continually turning to those he’d left behind.
At last they reached Edinburgh, and leaving the train Andrew grabbed a taxi, sinking back in the seat with a sigh. He looked out of the window, and as the rolling countryside came into view, his heart lifted. He was home.
The house felt damp and empty as he walked in and there was no one to greet him. However, the furniture shone and he eyed it with appreciation, pleased that his cleaner had kept the place up to scratch.
Leaving the hall he went into the large reception room, finding that after the small cramped house in Candle Lane, his home seemed enormous.
Andrew walked over to the telephone, dialled his parents’ number and told them that he’d be round to see them soon.
‘Hello son,’ his mother said, when he walked in an hour later. ‘You look tired. Did . . . did our flowers arrive for the funeral?’
‘Yes, and they were lovely.’ He saw his mother’s eyes fill with tears, and going to her side, he took her hand.
‘Oh, Andrew, I can’t believe I’ll never see my daughter again.’
‘Now don’t get upset again,’ Duncan Munro cajoled. She dabbed at her eyes, then said, ‘And . . . and Laura’s son?’
‘He’s a fine boy, Mother, and as bright as a button.’ The tears began to run down her cheeks. ‘He’s our grandson, but we’ve never seen him.’
‘That can be remedied. I’m sure he’d love a holiday in Scotland.’
Duncan Munro cleared his throat, his voice husky. ‘Donald rang earlier, and when I told him you were coming to see us, he said he’d pop round too.’
As if on cue, the doorbell rang, and Andrew went to answer it. ‘Hello son. Any sign of my grandchild yet?’
‘No, Dad. I think he’s so comfortable in there that he doesn’t want to come out.’
‘Oh, it’s a boy, is it?’
‘I hope so, but then again,’ he mused, ‘a girl might be nice.’
As they walked into the sitting room, Andrew saw that his mother was dabbing her eyes. He wanted to tell them, to get it over with, but would the shock be too much for her? She brightened when she saw Donald, and it was then that Andrew made up his mind. ‘I’m glad you came round, son. I have something to tell you all, and I might as well do it now.’
‘You sound a bit ominous, Dad. Is it bad news?’
‘I hope not, son.’
Donald looked puzzled but sat down, and after a pause Andrew began to speak, doing his best to be brief. There was a gasp from his mother, a grunt of annoyance from his father, and Andrew found he couldn’t look at his son. It sounded terrible, he knew that. A wartime affair, a child he didn’t know he had, and now a granddaughter too.
The room was hushed as he finished speaking, but then his father’s voice broke the silence. ‘And you’re telling us that Laura lived next door to this . . . this woman!’
‘Ruth, Father. Her name is Ruth.’
‘Oh, Andrew,’ his mother gasped. ‘I can’t believe you did such a terrible thing.’
‘It was a wartime affair and those were extraordinary times. I was very young, away from my family for the first time, and well . . . it happened.’
‘Humph,’ his father grunted. ‘You were a married man, and Donald here must have been just a baby. You should be ashamed of yourself.’
‘I’m certainly not proud, but on finding I have a beautiful daughter and granddaughter, I can’t regret it either.’
‘Dad,’ Donald said, speaking for the first time, ‘this means I have a half-sister.’
Andrew braced himself and turned to look at his son. He dreaded the censure he would see in his eyes, but to his surprise Donald was smiling. ‘Yes, it does, and as I said, her name is Sally. I . . . I’m sorry, son.’
‘Dad, you don’t have to apologise to me. I loved my mum, but I knew you weren’t happy.’
‘Did you? I thought I hid it from you.’
‘I know you tried, but I’m not blind. Anyway, you and Mum had separate rooms so it didn’t take much working out. I also heard her talking to a friend once and she was making it plain that she found
that
side of marriage distasteful.’
‘Donald!’ Jane Munro snapped. ‘I don’t think this is a subject for the drawing room.’
‘Oh, Grandmother, this is the nineteen sixties.’
‘Nevertheless, these things should not be spoken of so openly.’
‘All right, I’m sorry,’ Donald said, then turning to Andrew and asking eagerly, ‘Can I meet her, Dad?’
‘Meet who?’ Andrew asked.
‘My sister.’
‘Err . . . yes, I suppose so. Perhaps when I next go to London you could come with me.’
‘If I can get away I’d like that, but in the meantime, tell me about her.’
‘Well, like me, she has red hair, but facially she’s a mirror image of your grandmother, and also has her healing gifts.’
‘Does she?’ Jane Munro said, her face softening. ‘And – and her daughter?’
‘Angel has red hair too, and again there’s a resemblance to you.’
‘Angel! What a strange name.’
‘It’s Angela really, but everyone shortens it,’ Andrew said, smiling as he thought about his granddaughter. ‘She’s a little tomboy, but adorable with it.’
He saw his mother’s eyes fill with tears again and with a small sob she said, ‘If I have learned anything from Laura’s death, it’s that I was an unforgiving fool. I cut her out of my life, and now it breaks my heart to know I’ll never see her again. Don’t lose touch with your daughter, Andrew. See her as often as you can and perhaps bring her to Scotland to see us. I . . . I’d love to meet her.’
‘Things are a little difficult for Sally. She cares for her elderly grandmother and has little freedom, but don’t worry, I’ll find a way.’
His mother suddenly paled and Duncan Munro rose to his feet, shuffling to her side. ‘I’m sorry, but I think your mother needs to rest.’
‘Yes, come on, Dad,’ Donald said. ‘This has all been a bit of a shock for them and it’s time we left.’
Andrew nodded, once again appreciating his son’s maturity and common sense. His parents were elderly, and of course they were shocked, but they had taken it better than he’d expected.
‘How about coming round to dinner tomorrow night, Dad? Maureen would love to see you.’
‘Yes, I’d love to,’ and as they parted, Andrew wondered how much longer it would be before his daughter-in-law gave birth to the baby.
In Candle Lane the following morning, Nelly Cox was almost ready to leave, and now bustled along to number five to say goodbye.
‘Oh, Nelly, are you sure you’re doing the right thing?’ Ruth asked. ‘The council might have offered you something other than a tower block.’
‘Yeah, maybe, but it still wouldn’t be the same. I’d be living amongst strangers, and to be honest, I can’t face it. At least in Osborne House I’ll be amongst people of me own age, and they lay on a lot of activities.’
‘We’re going to miss you, Nelly,’ Sally said, flinging an arm around the chubby old lady.
‘I thought you said you’d come to see me.’
‘We all will, won’t we, Mum?’
‘Definitely,’ Ruth said.
‘I’ll come even if they have to carry me,’ Sadie said, sniffing as though close to tears.
‘That’s good, and you had better keep me up with the gossip,’ Nelly said, her face strained and it was obvious that she too was fighting tears. ‘I’d best be off. I thought I’d leave in style so a taxi is coming to pick me up.’
‘What about the few bits you’re taking with you?’
‘They’re already gone. That nice young chap at number twenty offered to take them in his van.’
‘Oh, that was good of him,’ Sadie said. ‘Yeah, some of the newcomers to the lane ain’t too bad.’
‘Newcomers!’ Ruth protested. ‘They’ve been living here for five years.’
‘That still makes them new,’ Sadie said.
The two old ladies gave each other a watery smile, and as Nelly turned to leave, Sadie croaked, ‘Take care, love.’
Ruth hugged her, and then Sally did the same, feeling a sense of unreality. It didn’t seem possible that Nelly Cox was leaving. She had been a part of their lives for so long, and always ready to lend a hand to anyone in trouble.
‘Please, don’t see me out. It’d be my undoing,’ Nelly begged.
‘All right,’ Ruth choked.
Nelly threw one last look at them and then closed the door behind her, and as Sally let the tears flow, it was as though a chapter had closed on their lives.
In Scotland, during the rest of the week, Andrew threw himself into his work. He dreaded going home, finding the house empty and unwelcoming, something he hadn’t noticed before his trip to London. For the first time since his wife’s death he found himself lonely, his thoughts revolving around Ruth, his daughter, granddaughter and Tommy.
He saw his parents frequently and had dinner with Donald and Maureen again, his daughter-in-law impatient for the baby to be born. She was huge and walked around with her hand permanently cradling the small of her back, amused when he suggested a run round the block to start things off.
On Thursday evening, over a week since his return, Andrew rang London. Ruth answered the phone and sounded pleased to hear from him. ‘How are you?’ he asked.
‘Fine, we all are – well, except for Denis that is.’
‘What’s the matter with him?’
‘He’s drinking heavily and is hardly home.’
‘But what about Tommy?’ Andrew asked worriedly.
‘Don’t worry. He spends nearly all his time with us. In fact, if I can catch Denis when he’s sober, I’m going to suggest that we have Tommy permanently.’
‘Ruth, that’s good of you, but now you really must let me help financially. I doubt you’ll get anything from Denis for his keep.’
‘There’s no need. He’s only one small boy and will hardly eat us out of house and home.’
‘Why do you have to be so stubborn? Tommy is my nephew and I want to help.’
‘I’ll think about it.’
Andrew sighed, knowing it would be a waste of time to push her. Even so he would see that he provided something towards Tommy’s upkeep and now asked, ‘Have you heard anything from the council about re-housing?’
‘No, not yet, but I doubt it’ll be long.’
‘I just hope you get offered something decent.’
‘So do I, but tell me, Andrew, how did your family take it when you told them about us?’
‘At first they were upset about our affair, but they came round, and I know they’d love to meet Sally, Angel and Tommy. Maybe they could come up here during the school holidays.’
Ruth was quiet for a moment, but then said, ‘Yes, I’m sure they’d love that.’
They continued to chat, but Andrew could sense something different in Ruth’s tone and after a while he reluctantly said goodbye.
With a heavy sigh he went to his study, picked up a folder and began to prepare a client’s overdue structural report. With pen poised, Andrew tried to concentrate, but found his thoughts going back to Ruth.