Mother’s Ruin (28 page)
On Thursday evening Andrew was ready to take Ruth to dinner. She wasn’t the same woman he remembered, one who had been so full of life. It was as if Ruth had been through so much that all the fun had been knocked out of her. Yet even so, when Andrew saw the love she showered on Tommy and Angel, he saw a warm, caring, affectionate woman. Unlike Moira, he thought, remembering his late wife’s cold and distant nature.
‘Are you ready?’ he asked when she opened the door.
Ruth looked a bit pink and flustered as she said, ‘Yes, nearly. I just need a minute. Come on in.’
‘Hello, Sally,’ Andrew said, as they walked into the kitchen. ‘I hope you don’t mind that I’ve invited your mother out to dinner.’
‘Why should I mind? The children are asleep,’ and nodding in Sadie’s direction she added with a wry smile, ‘Gran too.’
‘No, I’m not,’ Sadie protested. ‘I was just resting me eyes.’
‘I wonder who was snoring then,’ Ruth said, then turned to smile at Andrew. ‘I won’t be a tick.’
He nodded, looking at her legs appreciatively as she hurried from the room. Once again he was struck by how little she had physically changed in over twenty years. Her figure was still trim, her skin wonderful, and there were no signs of grey in her hair.
‘Angel is still bossing Tommy around,’ Sally said.
‘She seems pleased that I’m her grandfather, but it was a shock for Tommy to find out that you’re his cousin. Once he gets used to the idea he’ll find his feet, and woe betide Angel then.’
‘Yes, I think you’re right, but I doubt he’ll pick on Angel. If anything he’s always been protective of her. It’s strange really, almost as if he sensed the connection between them.’
Andrew grinned. ‘I don’t know how you can say it’s strange, especially with the gifts that you and my mother have.’
‘Right, I’m ready,’ Ruth said.
Andrew smiled at the pretty picture she presented in her flowery summer dress, topped with a lace cardigan. ‘Right, bonny lass, let’s go.’
As they walked along Candle Lane, Andrew impulsively took Ruth’s hand, and she turned to smile at him, her eyes sparkling. For a moment he saw the happy young woman he remembered, one who loved to dance the night away. ‘Do you recall doing the jitterbug with me, Ruth?’
‘Of course I do. We had a lot of fun in those days.’
‘It was certainly fun when I flipped you over. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sight of your frilly French knickers.’
‘Andrew!’ Ruth said, looking horrified, but then she giggled. ‘It’s just as well you weren’t wearing a kilt or I’d have got my own back.’
‘My goodness, woman. You’d have seen more than you bargained for. Scotsmen don’t wear anything under their kilts.’
‘Oh, I think you’ll find I saw enough,’ she said, going pink again.
Andrew squeezed her hand, remembering their lovemaking. It had been a passionate affair, their time together snatched, and little had he known that Sally would be the result. ‘Our daughter’s a lovely girl,’ he murmured.
Ruth returned the pressure of his hand, and when they reached the restaurant they sat gazing at each other until the waiter brought the menu.
They chatted throughout the meal, at ease in each other’s company. They were on their final course before Andrew raised the subject that was heavy on his mind. ‘Ruth, I’d like to do something to help you, and by doing so it will help Sally too.’
‘Help me in what way?’
‘I’d like you to accept a monthly allowance, enough to enable you to give up work.’
‘Forget it. I can’t accept your money.’
‘But why? Sally is my daughter and I’ve provided nothing for her upbringing.’
‘What is this – guilt? If so, there’s no need. I chose not to tell you that I had given birth so you have nothing to feel guilty about. Sally is no longer a child now, she’s a grown woman, and I don’t need your money for her upkeep.’
‘I know that, Ruth, but you’re being selfish. If you’d accept my financial help you could stay at home to look after your mother. Instead you’re laying the burden on Sally.’
‘How dare you say I’m selfish? When Ken left I had to work full-time to earn enough to bring Sally up, and without my mother’s help I don’t know how I’d have coped. She contributed most of her pension, and looked after Sally while I was working my socks off. Now my mother is ill and the role is reversed, but Sally loves her and she doesn’t mind.
‘Are you sure about that? Have you asked her? She’s a young woman, tied to the house all day, and if you ask me, it’s your duty to care for your mother.’
Her eyes flashing with anger, Ruth said, ‘I’m not listening to any more of this! You’ve been here for less than a week and already you think you can tell me how to run my life.’
‘I’m not doing that. I’m just trying to help, and as I said, it’s your duty—’
Ruth’s chair scraped against the floor as she got to her feet, face white with anger. ‘Duty, you talk to me of duty, you sanctimonious git! I’ve done well enough without you for over twenty years, and I can take care of my own affairs. In future, I suggest you keep your nose out and . . . and you can stick your money up your arse!’
With this Ruth stormed out of the restaurant, the other customers trying to hide their amusement as Andrew threw down his napkin. ‘Waiter,’ he called, ‘the bill, please.’
Ruth practically marched all the way home, seething with indignation. How dare Andrew call her selfish? She had worked hard to bring Sally up when Ken had left her, with no further help from him, or any man!
What an idiot she’d been. When Andrew had asked her out to dinner, she’d felt like a young woman again, all those feelings she’d harboured for so long rising to the surface.
She was crazy and realised that now – crazy to expect that he still had feelings for her. She had imagined his looks of affection. All he had been interested in was the welfare of his daughter.
As Ruth neared Candle Lane, Andrew’s words played over in her mind. He’d called her selfish, but flaming hell did he really think that she enjoyed going out to work? When Sally was a child she would have loved to be a stay-at-home mum, but she’d had no choice.
As she arrived home, Ruth hesitated before putting the key in the lock. Sally would wonder why she was home so early and she wasn’t in the mood for explanations. Andrew had said it was her duty to look after her mother, that the burden shouldn’t be Sally’s, but was looking after her gran so bad?
No, Ruth decided as she quietly crept upstairs to her room. Of course it wasn’t.
Friday morning saw Sally up earlier than usual. It was Tommy’s birthday today and she was going to prepare a special tea for when he came home from school. The jelly would have to be made now if it was to set in time and she wanted to do it before the children got up.
There had been a debate about the birthday tea, Sadie saying it wasn’t right when the boy’s mother hadn’t been buried yet.
Ruth argued that Laura would have wanted to celebrate Tommy’s birthday. There would be enough tears on Monday, she insisted.
Sally had been torn between both points of view, but in the end had sided with her mother, much to her gran’s disgust.
Only half an hour later, Ruth appeared, but she looked morose as she walked into the kitchen.
‘Are you all right, Mum?’
‘Yeah, why shouldn’t I be?’
‘You look a bit down in the mouth.’
‘I’m fine,’ she said shortly.
Sally knew from past experience that her mother could be stubborn and that it would be pointless to press her. ‘Right then, I’ll go and get the children up.’
Shortly they were washed and dressed, and then when they went downstairs, Sally smiled when she saw how Tommy’s face lit up.
‘Wow!’ he yelled, looking in wonderment at the parcels. ‘Can I open them?’
‘Of course you can.’
Tommy grabbed the largest, tearing off the paper, and said joyously, ‘Look, Angel. It’s a train set from my dad and Uncle Andy.’
‘It’s not fair. I want one too,’ Angel scowled.
Ruth’s smile was strained, but she spoke at last. ‘Wouldn’t you rather have a nice new doll?’
‘I don’t like dolls. I want a train set.’
‘Now then, miss, it’s Tommy’s birthday today,’ Sally admonished, ‘and I don’t want any sulks. When it’s your birthday you can choose what you want, but until then I think you should wish Tommy a happy birthday and give him our present.’
Angel ran to the dresser and taking out a parcel she handed it to Tommy. ‘I chose these, and you’ve got to let me play with them.’
Tommy took the package, eagerly tearing off the paper, his face lighting up when he saw the contents. There was a net bag of marbles, cigarette cards, the latest edition of his favourite comic,
The Beano
, a jigsaw puzzle, and a box of jelly babies. ‘Cor, fanks.’
‘And this is from me,’ Ruth said, holding out yet another package.
‘Blimey, this is me bestest birfday ever,’ Tommy said, once again ripping off the paper. ‘Cor, fanks!’ he cried, pulling out six little boxes containing Dinky cars.
‘I want some cars too,’ Angel said, pouting.
After admonishing her daughter again, Sally spoke to Tommy. ‘When you come home from school we’ll have a birthday tea and I’ll ask your father and uncle to join us.’
‘Fanks,’ but then his expression changed to one of sadness. ‘I wish me mum could see me new toys.’
Angel wrapped an arm around him, and Sally was touched as her daughter said, ‘Never mind, Tommy. You can share my mummy.’
‘I can’t. She’s me cousin.’
Sally bent to ruffle his hair. ‘That’s right and a cousin who loves you very much.’
He brightened a little and began to play. Angel joined in and said, ‘I want the red car.’
Sally looked at her mother. She had hardly spoken to Tommy. ‘Mum, are you sure you’re feeling all right?’
‘I’ve told you, I’m fine, but unlike some people, I have to get ready for work.’
Why had she said that? Sally wondered as her mother stomped out from the room.
That afternoon, Andrew found the birthday tea a success, with Denis sober and on his best behaviour. After the children had consumed copious amounts of food, including jelly and ice cream, he set up Tommy’s train set, joining the children on the floor and regularly winding up the clockwork engine. After a while, unable to resist, Denis joined in too.
When Ruth came home from work the atmosphere immediately changed. She was unsmiling, and her eyes barely met Andrew’s as she took in the scene. He stood up, and walked over to her, saying quietly, ‘Let’s not spoil Tommy’s party. Can we go somewhere and talk?’
‘I suppose so,’ she said, walking into the hall.
Andrew followed her, and as Ruth went into Sadie’s bedroom she kept her back to him, her arms folded defensively as she gazed out of the window. He had been cursing himself since last evening. Ruth was right, he shouldn’t try to interfere in their lives. She had brought Sally up on her own, and had made a good job of it, but instead of praising her, he had called her selfish. In his desire to help Sally he had hurt Ruth.
He went up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. ‘I’m sorry. I had no right to call you selfish.’
She turned, eyes moist as she looked up at him. ‘I’ve done the best I can, but I’ve been thinking about what you said all day. Sally offered to look after my mother when she had her stroke and she’s never complained. But maybe you’re right, maybe it isn’t fair on her.’
‘Ruth, I had no right to interfere, and if Sally is happy to look after her grandmother, that’s fine. If she isn’t, my offer of financial help, enabling you to stay home, stands.’
‘I really don’t want to take your money, Andrew, but I suppose it’s only fair to ask Sally how she feels about it.’
‘Good, and now that we’ve sorted that out, can we be friends again?’
She smiled up at him, and once again Andrew saw the girl he remembered. The memories flooded into his mind, of holding her, touching her, and before Andrew knew it he had bent down to kiss her.
Ruth didn’t resist, her lips soft as her arms slipped around his neck, and when the kiss ended, Andrew continued to hold her in his arms. ‘How about dinner again tonight,’ he whispered, ‘and this time we won’t talk about Sally.’
When her parents returned to the room, Sally saw her mother smiling happily. ‘Andrew has asked me out to dinner again,’ she said. ‘Is that all right with you, Sally?’
‘Of course it is. As usual I have nothing planned, but I’m thinking about offering healing at the hall again.’
‘Good idea. It’ll do you good to get out of the house.’
‘Right,’ Denis said, ‘I’m off, and Tommy, it’s about time you packed that train set away. It’s taking up too much room on the floor and someone might step on it.’
‘No, leave it out, Tommy,’ Angel demanded.
‘No, it might get broken.’
‘Course it won’t.’
‘I’m putting it away,’ Tommy insisted, beginning to pull the track apart.
Angel jumped up, kicking the engine in the process. As it fell to its side Tommy glared at her, red-faced with anger. ‘You did that on purpose!’
‘No, I didn’t.’
‘Yes, you did,’ and standing up he gave Angel a shove. She fell backwards on her bottom, Tommy looming over her as he yelled, ‘Don’t touch my train set again!’
‘I will if I want,’ Angel cried as she scrambled onto her knees, and snatched the engine, poised to throw it. ‘Angel!’ Sally shouted. ‘Don’t you dare!’
‘That’s enough, lassie,’ Andrew said as he swiftly picked up his granddaughter. He took the engine from her hand, handing it to Tommy. ‘Now then, Angel, what sort of behaviour is this? Tommy was kind enough to let you play with his train set, and instead of thanking him, you try to break it.’
‘I want a train set too.’
‘I don’t think you deserve one. Now say sorry.’
‘No.’
Andrew sighed, and placed Angel back onto the floor. ‘I’ll leave you to sort this one out, Sally, but I think this little girl deserves a smack.’
‘Yes, and she’ll get one if she doesn’t apologise to Tommy.’
Angel’s eyes flicked around the room, and seeing all their stern faces, she said, ‘Sorry, Tommy.’
Tommy said nothing as he dropped to his knees, once again packing away the train set.
‘Have you had a nice birthday?’ Ruth asked, as she bent to help him.
Tommy kept his head lowered, but Ruth noticed a quiver in his shoulders. ‘Oh, love, it’s all right. Angel didn’t mean it,’ she said, pulling him into her arms.
‘I don’t care about the train. It’s me mum. It’s me birfday and I want me mum.’
Ruth rocked the child and, glancing at Denis, she saw that he too looked distressed. She didn’t have much time for the man, but when all was said and done, he had just lost his wife. However, Tommy was her main concern and she had yet to talk to Denis about taking the boy on permanently.
At seven-thirty, Sally put both children to bed whilst her mother got ready to go out. When Andrew came to collect Ruth at eight, Sally watched them leave and was about to settle in front of the television with her gran, when someone knocked on the door.
‘Bloomin’ hell, me favourite programme is just starting,’ Sadie complained.
‘I’ll see who it is,’ Sally said, her stomach knotting when she saw who it was. ‘Go away, Arthur.’
‘Sally, please, I want to talk to you.’
‘We have nothing to say to each other.’
‘Please, just hear me out for five minutes.’
‘No,’ she said, making to close the door.
His hand stretched out, holding the door open. ‘I won’t leave until you agree to listen to me.’
Sally could see that he meant it and her mouth tightened. ‘All right, but five minutes, and no more.’
‘Can we talk in private?’
‘All right, I suppose we can use my gran’s room.’
Sally stood back to let Arthur in and as he followed her into Sadie’s room, she turned abruptly, her arms crossed defensively.
Arthur’s eyes held an appeal. ‘Sally, won’t you give me another chance?’
‘I can’t. I could never trust you now.’
‘I’ll never do it again, I swear I won’t. Please, Sally, don’t throw our marriage away over one mistake.’
‘One mistake! You slept with Patsy more than once and from what I saw that first time, you loved it.’
He flushed, lowering his head. ‘If you hadn’t left me, it wouldn’t have happened again.’
‘Oh, so now it’s my fault that you couldn’t keep your hands off of her!’
‘No, I didn’t mean it to sound like that, but when you left, Patsy was there, and she kept on throwing herself at me.’
‘Huh, and you couldn’t say no?’
‘I know now that she lied to keep us apart, but at the end of the day it was just sex, that’s all. It meant nothing.’
Sally found her fists clenched, nails digging into her palms. Whilst she’d been crying night after night, he’d been fine, sleeping with Patsy and having a good time. She felt sick at the thought of Arthur touching Patsy, of the intimacy they’d shared. ‘The sex may have meant nothing to you, but as far as I’m concerned you betrayed me, and our marriage. Just go, Arthur.’
‘Sally, please, I love you.’
‘Love! You don’t know the meaning of the word. Just get out. I’ll never forgive you, Arthur, and as far as I’m concerned, our marriage is over.’
‘What’s going on?’ Sadie said sharply, as she came into the room.
‘Nothing, Gran. Arthur is just leaving.’
‘Sally . . .’ he began.
‘I said get out,’ she yelled.
Arthur shook his head, but then swung round to leave, and when Sally heard the door closing behind him she flung herself across her gran’s bed, giving vent to her feelings, the pain of his betrayal still unbearable.
She felt the bed dip beside her, and then her gran’s hand stroking her hair. ‘Come on, love,’ she cajoled. ‘If you carry on like this, you’ll make yourself ill.’
‘Oh, Gran, I can’t bear it.’
‘Can’t you find it in your heart to forgive him?’
‘No, I can’t. Every time I think of him with Patsy it turns my stomach,’ Sally croaked, cuddling closer to her gran. The pain was still there and she began to wonder if it would ever go away.