Motown Showdown (20 page)

“Lying to yourself doesn’t count.”

“I don’t give a fuck what you say; you love her. Kandace and I will back off though,” he says moving toward the table. “You need to work on getting to know each other. I have a feeling there’s a lot about her you don’t know. Curious why you don’t bother with the wire though? Sounds pretty cool to me.”

Searching for her out there I turn and tell him, “I don’t need the wire, I talk to Camo.”

“Ah.”

Just then my phone buzzes and I grab it from my pocket. Reading the text, I smile, fucking Camo… always looking out for me, keeping me on my toes.

That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.

Laughing, I send her one back keeping it simple.

Mind if I join you?

To which she says,
suit yourself sexual chocolate

Turning away from Rome, my plan was to change my clothes to join her. I didn’t like that she was distancing herself from me, but I did like the idea of spending time with her while she was in her element. The problem was I haven’t climbed a tree since I was eight, and I was heavy.

“Gage?” he tosses out before finally leaving. “What she did for us, she went rogue didn’t she?”

“Yeah,” I say nodding my head. “She did.”

“Is it true she’s the best?”

“The absolute fucking best.”

“Damn,” he says thinking on it.

“Ask,” I tell him. I see it waging a war in his brain.

“What’s it like? Taking a life? Because it didn’t seem to bother her at all.”

“It’s different for everyone,” I tell him. “But for her you need to know it doesn’t bother her. She was making a point,” I realized this in the middle of the night watching her sleep. “Claiming you and Kandace, she loves you, she killed for you. Simple.”

“Like I said, she
really
loves your dumb ass.”

When he left for good, I stood there a few more minutes wondering how I could get so lucky. Then I wondered why that luck had to suck. For the first time, I wish I wasn’t so lucky because losing her was going to destroy me.

Perched on the roof of Slow’s BBQ, I watch him exit his truck and head down the street on foot. Waiting at the corner, out in the open, I wondered if he knew I was here. Normally, he does a cursory look letting me know he knows. But he wasn’t doing that. When a corvette pulls up, he slides in, and the driver does a U bringing the Vette back to Michigan Avenue. Making a wide turn, I see the driver. Female, blonde, money.

Setting my rifle down, I fall to my ass feeling foolish. Slowly and with practiced moves, I stow my rifle and head home. Once there, I locked on his location and felt the punch all over again. An hour, he’s been with her an hour. If this one was special to him, I might have to kill her. Running her plates and address, I pull up her information and see she’s a banker. A fucking banker. Killing her would be wrong. But sometimes wrong can feel really fucking right.

I was choosing to ignore Gage’s words to Rome this morning.

Like a knife stuck in my already wounded side, he said
I don’t love her, won’t ever love her
and I had to accept that. He cared; I knew that but love? I should have known better, and that’s on me to play it smart. So from here on out I’d take what he offered and deal with the pain. Yes, it hurt but to be fair, I’m not easy to love. I’m not domesticated, girly or willing to change.
She’s not a normal woman.
This was who I was, and I loved who I was. If he couldn’t get on board with that, then it’s his loss. This nightmare could end tomorrow or a month from now but until it did, I’d enjoy the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. Gage knew how I felt, knew he was getting all of me and I also knew I was getting little of him. Yeah he cared, but fuck, my coffee barista ‘cares’ too. I wanted my happily ever after, dammit.
Forever
, he’d said. I suppose forever held a different meaning for me. This was good though. I sensed he felt this way, but now I know. Knowledge is power. Now that I have it, I could protect myself against the heartbreak.

But it really fucking hurts
…

Especially the part about his kids. Because he was right. His kids did deserve a mother whose biggest fear was burning dinner, not taking a bullet to the face. With me, that was a real possibility. Which is also why I never tossed around the idea of my own family. I know what it’s like to lose that security, that bond. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss them. What he doesn’t understand is he already has that, and I fought really fucking hard for him to keep it. Yes, his truth hurt me, but I’d deal. I always do.

Watching him attempt to climb a tree was hilarious and helped with the pain. Listening to him curse while attempting it, was even better. I’m small, agile and concealable. He wasn’t. If this was a job we’d be dead, well he would anyway. Gage likes his feet on the ground; I don’t.

Never did.

I liked hiding in plain sight.

I liked heights.

I loved the trees.

Fifteen minutes later, he makes his way up and finds a huge branch below me that will hold his weight. He was at least two fifty if I had to guess. He stayed with me last night; I woke up to him this morning, but one look and I know he didn’t sleep. This close quarter confinement wasn’t working. Pretending to play house was ridiculous. Plus something was coming, I could feel it and I needed to be out here to handle it.

Telling him I loved him was a mistake.

A mistake I wouldn’t be making again.

When this was over I would walk away for good. Leaving him to his own life without my constant interference. Leaving him to find someone that was his match. Those years of watching him with random women weren’t easy. Though he never stuck around or seemed to care about one, he went through them like he was on a mission.

A mission to keep me away.

The women were always classy. Tall, lean, pretty and fucking easy.

So yeah, when this was over I was gone. I meant it too. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. Bobo would support me in my decision to shut down the wire and walk away. Give me a shot at what Kandace and Rome have. Give me a shot at a real life. I was good at what I did, loved it even. But it couldn’t be my life forever no matter how much I wished that it could. When this was over, I was letting go of
all
of it. Not that I wanted to but what choice did I have? I wasn’t going to meet Mr. Second Place if I continued to kill. Fuck, I didn’t know which sucked worse. Knowing any man, I chose after him was second place or stowing my rifle
for
second place?

“I hate heights,” he says breaking me of my thoughts.

“I know,” I say adjusting my scope.

“I need to say something,” he looks up at me. “I need you to listen.”

“I’m listening.”

“What you did for them you did out of love, am I right?”

“Bingo.”

“They love you too,” he says honestly. “Rome says you must love me a lot to stand by me all these years, amassing a body count on my behalf.”

“Do you listen to everything Rome says?”

“I do when he’s right.”

We weren’t doing this right now. The part where he says I know you love me but… I can never love you. I was strong, made of tough stuff, but I couldn’t get
the talk
while I was stuck in a fucking maple tree. Then I see something I shouldn’t be seeing and go on alert. “Whisky,” I say shutting Gage down. “Get back in the house, lock it down, secure the lovebirds. They don’t go into work until it’s clear.”

“What?”

“Do it,” I snap. “Whisky is approaching, go now.”

“Shit,” he says ungracefully falling from the tree. Taking my eye off Whisky to cover Gage, I watch as he hauls that sweet ass into the house to protect his family.

His family,
not mine
.

Never mine.

Get used to seeing him run away
, I told myself.
Get used to it because one day he wouldn’t turn back around
.

Whisky is scouting the house, assessing it, taking his time. He wasn’t engaging and if he was armed it was hand guns only. His gait, his swagger, and his darting eyes told me was curious. Curiosity gets people killed. The good news about urban residential is these homes are close together, the neighbors take care of their own which made me wonder why he made himself visible.

Minutes tick by and still he waits.

So he’s waiting for me to engage then, interesting.

Sliding my phone out and dialing his number, he answers on the second ring.

“We need to talk,” he says in his usual angry voice. “Face to face, I’m asking.”

“On my way,” I told him and was already packing up when I did. Coming around the back, through the alley and walking up the street my phone rings, it's Gage.

“Whatever the fuck you’re doing,” he yells in my ear. “Don’t.”

“Protect the lovebirds,” I clip then hang up.

Meeting Whisky in the alley across the street I had to admit, he looked better than he usually did. Sitting on the railroad track, he doesn’t even look up when I approach. This meant he was sober. “I crossed a line with you,” he says.

“You did,” I confirm.

“I was blown when you called, fighting with Rachel about this very shit. I have never broke the code,” he says looking up at my face and when he focused his eyes went wide. “Jesus H…”

“You were saying?”

“You’re…”

“Not ugly,” I roll my eyes. “I know, Whisky.”

“I won’t break the code now,” he says checking me out. “You gotta handle Pilgrim, but I can’t kill my own, even if I think Gadget is a piece of shit, I won’t go against
you.
You’ve been good to me, so if you stand by him, I stand by you.”

“Glad to hear that,” I say backing up. “The phone would have been easier, you didn’t have to come from Cali for this.”

“Yeah I did,” he grunts. “You needed to see up close I was serious, that I’m sorry.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Camo,” he says standing and he really was a big bastard. “Would you have done it?”

He’s asking me had he come at me, would I take him out with his woman watching. “Yes,” I say staring him down. “Had you crossed me, I would have done it.”

“Rachel likes you,” he smiles and years of getting blown ruined his teeth.

“Rachel doesn’t know me,” I remind him.

“Doesn’t need to,” he shrugs. “Listens to me talking about you, she likes you, simple. You never gave up on me, so this is me setting it straight.”

“Cool,” I smile and then an idea hit me. “You local for a day or two?”

“Why? Inviting me over for dinner?”

“I don’t cook,” I remind him. “Need a favor, an act of good faith you could say.”

“Act of good faith,” he snorts. “I owe you that. Send it over, I’ll handle it.”

“Atta boy.”

“Pilgrim is not fucking around,” he says getting serious. “He wants Gadget taken out, but he’s got a hard-on for you.”

“His greed will be his downfall,” I say walking away. Turning my back to Whisky knowing he could shoot me in it, was my way of saying,
I don’t fear you
.

“Too pretty for this shit,” he says laughing. “Fuck me, but you are too pretty to be so lethal. When you take Pilgrim out, I want pictures.”

“Pics or it didn’t happen,” I say picking up speed. “Tell Rachel I said she was too good for
you
.”

“Fucking a right she is.”

Smiling to myself, I was reminded that I was good at what I did. My band of misfits might be crazy, but they were mine. Pleased that it was down to us versus Pilgrim, I crossed the street and let myself back into the house.

“Are you looking for someone?” she asks. I didn’t know her name, did not care to ask what it was. All I knew was for the last fifteen minutes she would not shut the fuck up. Plus, Camo wasn’t answering my texts, and I was moody because of it. She didn’t do radio silence.

“Why?”

“Because you keep looking at everything but me,” she pouts. “It’s rude.”

“Then leave,” I tell her. Something was off. Camo felt closer than usual. Like she was within feet of me. And it fucked with me to know that if she was, I wouldn’t spot her. I didn’t want her seeing me with this broad, and considering this bar was packed she could be anywhere, watching. And fuck me, she could here…on a God damn date. The thought of that set me off.