Motown Showdown (22 page)

“She can’t be trusted,” Pilgrim says showing me some bullshit on the wire. “She’s got all the players snowed. Hell, she’s got you snowed too.”

“It’s a game to her,” I shrug.

“A game,” he laughs. “Yeah, Gadget, it’s a game until she turns on us.”

It’s not too often I find myself speechless.

Scared stiff even less so.

Watching her haul ass, dodging people to get to her mark before he could bounce fucking scared me. Here I was witnessing it through her scope unable to move. Camo was quick, so fucking efficient even I couldn’t piece together what was happening until she casually walked out of the men’s bathroom. Minutes. It took her less than five to kill two men. One of which was hands-on taking almost four and a half. The motherfucker was four times her size, and she handled him easily. We were in the truck, pulling away when the screaming started. If she had been alone, we wouldn’t have heard it. We were privy to it because
I
slowed us down.

On the drive back, the stress of seeing her work morphed into fear which I steered into anger. Anger, I understood. This other shit I’m feeling, I did not.

In her makeup, casual clothing with a backpack on her shoulder she looked like anyone else. You wouldn’t pick her out of a crowd because she looked younger and innocent.
She was far from innocent
. Making quick work of her phone, she confirms it and stares out the window. Blocks from the house, like a blow to the gut, I finally, after six fucking years of her telling me, I got it.

It wasn’t time yet.

I’m the ultimate distraction.

Your ultimate distraction
.

Fuck me, she was right. I’ve said this before, but until now I didn’t understand the magnitude of her sacrifice. She wasn’t just saving my ass; she loved me enough not to put me in further danger because of her presence. Having her around helped
my
game. But seeing her do the same wasn’t good for me, I couldn’t handle it, and truth? I couldn’t keep up with her either. Camo was superior to me, and I couldn’t handle that
at all
.

Ignoring me, she heads in going straight for the bathroom. A few minutes later, she comes out in different clothes but still has the mask in place. “Fix your face,” I didn’t want the mask, I wanted her.

“Say what you need to say and be done with it,” she warns me. “I have another job to get to.”

“Then we’ll talk on the way.”

“You aren’t coming with me,” she says rearranging her bag.

“Wanna bet?”

Narrowing her eyes, she takes a step toward me and stops. “You,” she says on a sneer. “Are a fucking lost cause. I do not ever want you near me when I’m working again.”

“Why? Because I’m right? You get on me about how I work? Hate to tell you this, beauty, but those rules you love to cram down my throat went right out the fucking window today.”

“For six years I’ve watched you show off,” she says low. “I even applauded you for it, but I have
never
,” she growls getting in my space. “Got in your ear and fucked up an assignment,
on purpose
.”

“Listen---”

“No, you listen,” she says shoving me. “Your ego can’t possibly understand the magnitude of what just went down. This was not a simple hit. Those were not two men meeting in the park for lunch, Gadget. Those two men were plotting the mass murders of very important people. You were too busy yapping in my ear, telling me how to do my God damn job that I almost lost one! Had he made the call, thirty people would have died by dinner! Because of
you
I had to make myself seen. Because of
you
I had to haul his fat ass into a public bathroom! I was hired to do long range, make a point to the others involved that their house of cards was falling. My orders were not up close and personal. Is this a test? Huh? Did I pass, Gadget? What in the fuck is your angle?”

I was afraid for you
. “So I distracted you?”

“You think!”

“Now you know what you do to
me
,” This I knew wasn’t fair but it’s all I had. Grinding her jaw, she backs up and says, “I see.”

“No, you don’t. You are in my fucking ear even when you’re silent. Just knowing you’re close fucks with me, but you still stick around. I always found it funny that the life you claim to want to save is the same one you put in jeopardy every time you show up! This isn’t about my ego; it’s about yours. You fucked up today. Not me.” I was lying my ass off. The truth was her presence calmed me, without it I was paranoid. Her advice was always spot on, and it was when she wasn’t around that I questioned my actions. What I just said threw her off, and she’s looking at me with hurt in her eyes. Camo and I have always been honest with each other. As far as she’s concerned, I just outed myself as a world class prick, and I wouldn’t be correcting myself.

“I’ll be back later,” she says moving around me. Hitting the steps, I watch her take off at a slow jog until she rounds the corner. Even with an injury she was graceful. Camo quite simply was all the things I would never be.

“I held her hair up while she got ready today,” Kandace says from the door. “She’s good, Gage, and she worries about you.”

“Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“The walls are thin,” she shrugs ignoring my question. “But I could hear it in your voice.”

“Hear what?”

“You’re afraid for her, you worry for her too.”

Looking away I couldn’t deny that I was. It’s true, I was fucking terrified. “She would never put you in harm’s way,” she says quietly. “She puts herself there instead.”

“You don’t think that fucks with me?” I ask. “I can’t finish this without her, Kandace. I can’t even find Pilgrim or any God damn answers without her help. No matter what path I choose, it puts her in danger. Because for whatever fucking reason I fascinate her, which means I jeopardize her life.”

“Then let her go.”

“What?”

“Which way will you do it? By betraying her in the worst way with another woman or telling her you don’t love her?”

“Kandace.”

“The pain on your face tells me you don’t want to do either of these things, big brother. Honestly, it makes me sad that you reel her in only to push her away. Did you do it on purpose?” she asks. “Distract her?”

“Yeah.”

Shaking her head, she leaves the way she came. Sitting down, I debate sending her a text. Hours pass, and I still haven’t done it. I didn’t want to reel her in and push her away, but I didn’t know how to stop doing it. Finally ready to set some shit straight, I typed the words
Come Home
and hit send.

She didn’t respond.

I figured out why when the lovebirds ran over demanding we watch the news.

“It’s done,” Whisky says. “Took him down at the cemetery, figured I’d go big. I’ll be around if you need me.”

It was done, good. Michelle Porter’s shit bag of a father was eliminated at his own daughter’s funeral. Poetic and just. Honestly, if the family was smart, they’d just roll him in with her and move on with life. However, what happened next was not my problem. Figuring out how to end this game without casualties to my team was.

Last night after meeting up with Bobo, I stayed at my place until midnight. Whisky’s confirmation went in one ear and out the other. I was glad it was done, but I had no other emotion to lend to it. At the moment, all of my emotions were tied up in Gage.

My epic fuck up from the day before weighed on me. While he was right on some counts, he was wrong on others. Over the years I have dropped hints, dangled information hoping he’d demand more. He never has. Gadget always kept me at a distance even though I had his best interests at heart.

He was working for the wrong team. He’s fought it so long it’s become habit. I’ve shadowed him for so long that it’s become habit too. But what he did on that roof was bullshit. Complete and total bullshit. He would never admit it, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s intimidated by how I operate. He wanted me to screw up so he could play savior. If we played co-ed softball, I could see past it because it’s a sport. But we don’t. We hold people’s lives in our hands, both innocent and targeted. The time for criticism wasn’t on that fucking roof. I took this as a sign of things to come. The thing about signs is that I paid attention to them.

At this point, we were both exhausted. This is because every fifteen minutes since I’ve left he’s sent a text. Once he completed every range of emotion, I stopped looking at the messages. I made it back (on foot no less) around twelve thirty am but I didn’t go inside. It was a mild night; the air was still and I needed the elements around me. Sharing a bed with him no longer made sense to me. We weren’t a couple, would never be a couple, and I wasn’t big on pretending anymore. So I relaxed up high from the safety of an old oak tree. At five am, I watched him open the sliding door and walk into the yard.

“I know you’re up there,” he says looking around.
He’s beautiful even when he’s exhausted
. When I didn’t snag the bait, he hit me in a vulnerable spot. “I made coffee for you.” Hitching my bag over my shoulders, I climb down landing silently on the balls of my feet. Heading his way, he looks me up and down before heading back in. Dropping my bag, I sit at the table and take that first beautiful sip, savoring it.

“I want to take you out tonight.”

“Can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I said I can’t, end of story.”

“We had a fight,” he says leaning back in his chair and locking his ankles. “I said some shit, you said some shit. It’s over; we move on.”

“This isn’t about a fight. Despite our current situation, I still have a job to do. So when I say I can’t, it’s because I
can’t
.”

“Where were you last night?”

“Working.”

“Come up with anything?”

“Nothing worth sharing,” I lie pushing away from the table. “I’m going to crash for a few hours. Thanks for the coffee.”

“Michelle’s father was hit at her funeral,” he says in a pissed off tone. “You know anything about that?”

“I know everything about that.”

When he says nothing in return, I ignore the stab of hurt and crawl into a dead woman’s bed. Since I wasn’t the cause of her death, I found I had no problem falling asleep. At ten am, my phone woke me and it wasn’t with good news. Storming into the living room, Gadget was in the recliner reading the paper. If I wasn’t pissed, I would have found it adorable. “It’s never wise to go behind my back,” I inform him. The prick waited until I was asleep to contact Bobo and get in on the action.

“You’ll get over it.”

Just then Kandace walks in, feels the tension and looks at her brother. “Since when do you read the paper?”

“I’m just killing time,” the smug bastard says flipping the page.

“I need a girl’s day,” I prompt her. “Shopping, manis and whatever other shit girls do. Wanna join me?”

“Hell yes, I do!” Turning and hitting the door, she looks back and says, “Be ready in twenty.”

Dropping his paper, he scowls to which I smile. “Don’t give me that look, she’ll be safe with me and you know it.”

“Your grandfather is calling at seven with details; we roll out at seven thirty.”

“Fine.”

“I don’t know what you’re so pissed about. You wanted a partner; you got a fucking partner. You don’t get to bitch when that partner wants to play a part.”
I don’t want you to see this side of my job
…

“Had you waited to speak with me about it, I would have explained that
this
is one part you won’t want to play.”

“Explain.”

“Seven,” I tell him sadly. “You’ll find out at seven.”

Turning away, I grab my bag and wait on the porch for Kandace. Closing my eyes, I search for danger feeling nothing. But I knew it was a matter of time. It was closing in fast. So fast it was suffocating, and fear of failure was heavy in my stomach.

“Not sure you want to do this job with her tonight,” he says in warning.

“She wanted a partner, hell; you wanted me to partner with her. Now you don’t?”

“This one ain’t like the others, boy.”

“Because?”

“I’m asking you to sit this one out. Do this for her.”