Mountain Homecoming (28 page)

Simon's face paled. “She did what?”

Matthew gritted his teeth. “I was scared he was going to shoot her, but she wouldn't move. I tried to pick her up and move her out of the way, but she fought me. Then she faced Wade and gave him a tongue-lashing. I thought Wade was going to shoot us both.”

Simon let out a long breath and slumped down on the buggy step. He rested his elbow on the wheel and covered his eyes with his trembling hand. “When Wade's been drinking as he was today, there's no reasoning with him. She could have been killed.”

“I know. When he finally left, Rani and I had an argument. I told her how my mother would stand in front of me and take the beatings my father intended for me, and I vowed I would never put another person I love in danger again. I love Rani too much for her to be hurt because of me.”

Simon didn't move for a moment. Then he straightened and rose to his feet. “Thank you for telling me this, Matthew. And thank you for wanting to protect my daughter. But we both know how determined she can be. She may not accept your decision.”

“She'll have to because it's final. I won't do anything to encourage her, and I'll stay away from your home. She said she would finish the bricks. Maybe you can bring them to my cabin or let me know when they're ready, and I'll come get them.”

Simon shook his head. “I'll bring them over. What about your clothes?”

“I only have a few left inside. Just bring them when you do the bricks. I don't want to run into her again.”

Simon grasped Matthew's shoulder and squeezed. “I'm sorry about all this. I remember how it hurt when I thought I had lost Anna. I'll pray that God will show you what He has planned for you and Rani. It may not be His will for the two of you to be together, but He may also have plans we know nothing about.”

“Thank you, Simon. I appreciate that.” Matthew inhaled. “Now I'll put your horse up and get out of here.”

Simon shook his head. “No need for that. I'll put the horse in the barn. You go on. You've already missed out on a day's work. I'll be over to check on you in a day or two.”

Matthew nodded and turned toward the barn. “I'll look forward to seeing you.”

“One more thing, Matthew,” said Simon, reaching out a hand to the young man. “If you ever want to talk to me about what happened after your mother died, I'll be willing to listen. I'm not a judge, just a preacher who's loved you since you were a boy. Maybe you've judged your actions too harshly because you're afraid you're going to be like your father. I'm willing to help any way I can.”

“I know you are, but I don't think there's anything that can help me. Just take care of Rani. She needs you more than I do. I'm sorry I've hurt her so. I should never have come back here.” He turned toward the barn but stopped and faced Simon. “And I really am sorry about not telling you and Anna about my feelings for Rani. I guess I always knew nothing was going to come of it. It always turns out that way for me.”

He hurried into the barn to saddle his horse. When he reached the stall, he covered his face with his hands and sagged against the wall. He'd had such hopes the day he rode back into the valley. He knew there would be those who wouldn't welcome him, but he'd never dreamed he'd meet a woman who would capture his heart the moment he saw her.

Now he had made a mess of that like he had everything else in his life. He hadn't been able to protect his mother and brother, he'd made enemies everywhere he'd worked, and now he'd broken Rani's heart. Simon was wrong. God didn't have any plans for him. He was destined to make the same mistakes over and over again. Just like his father had done.

S
imon's legs were shaking so hard that he didn't think he could make it to the cabin without falling. He stared at the back door and counted each step until he stumbled into the kitchen and sank down at the table. He propped his elbows on the tabletop and buried his face in his hands.

How could Rani have been so foolish as to put herself in Wade's line of fire? The very thought sent chills down his spine and made him sick to his stomach.
Oh, God
, he silently prayed,
I did it once, but I don't think I could survive the loss of another child. Thank You for sparing Rani's life
.

He sat there with his shoulders shaking for several minutes before he heard footsteps and looked up to see Anna standing in the door from the front room. Concern lined her face. “Simon, are you all right? What's the matter?”

He took a deep breath and pushed to his feet. “Where's Noah?”

“He's in the other room with Granny. She's telling him a Bible story. Did you want to see him?”

He shook his head. “No, I want to see Rani. Do you know where she is?”

“She headed for her room the minute we came inside. I haven't seen her since. Why do you want to see her?”

“We both need to talk with her.”

Anna frowned. “You look upset. Has she done something?”

“Yes.”

She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I was afraid of that when she said Matthew was leaving today. If she's offended him in some way, I want to know what it is.”

He reached out, grasped her hand, and held it for a moment. He didn't know if he could say the words or not. Finally he took a deep breath. “I had a talk with Matthew, and he told me what happened at Wade's farm. It has shaken me to the bone, Anna. I wish I didn't have to tell you this, but I feel I must.”

Her eyes grew wide. “Simon, you're scaring me. Tell me what happened.”

“All right.” He licked his lips. “It all began when Wade came home and found Matthew in the barn with Noah.”

As he continued his story, he watched her face change from puzzlement to shock to fear. When he'd finished, she reached out and grabbed the back of one of the kitchen chairs. She closed her eyes and held onto it for a moment. Her lips were clamped together, and her body shook as if it were experiencing spasms.

“She could have been killed,” she finally whispered.

He put his arm around her to steady her. “Yes.”

They held each other for a few minutes, each lost in thought of how they had almost lost another of their children. After a few minutes, Simon released her and cleared his throat. “We need to talk to her right away. Let's go to her room.”

Anna wiped the tears at the corners of her eyes and followed him down the narrow hallway. They stopped at the closed door to Rani's room and knocked. “Rani,” Simon said, “are you in there?”

He could barely make out her muffled reply. “Yes, Poppa.”

“Your mother and I want to talk with you. We're coming in.”

He eased the door open and they stepped into the room. Rani lay facedown on the bed, but she pushed into a sitting position when they entered. She wiped at her eyes, but couldn't disguise the fact that she'd been crying.

“Wh-what d-do you want?” she stammered.

They walked to the bed and sat on either side of her. Anna glanced up, and Simon knew she wanted him to take the lead in the conversation. “Rani,” he began, “I had a talk with Matthew after we got home, and he told me what happened at Wade's house. I have to tell you that your mother and I are very concerned. You could have been killed today.”

Her eyes grew wide, and she looked from one to the other. “I'm sorry if I've caused you any worry, but I really don't think I was in danger. Wade was just trying to scare Matthew. Besides, Noah was there, and he wouldn't have shot his son.”

Simon shook his head. “You don't know that for sure. But we're thankful you're safe and that no one was hurt.” He paused for breath. “However, that was a very foolish thing for you to do. We love you and don't want you to place yourself in a situation like that again. Your mother and I don't want to lose another child.” His voice cracked. “You're the only daughter we will ever have, and I don't think we could survive if something happened to you.”

A sob ripped from Rani's throat as she threw her arms around her father. “Oh, Poppa, I didn't think about that. I'm so sorry. But it scared me so when I opened that door and saw that gun pointed at Matthew.” She then turned to her mother and hugged her. “I'm sorry, Mama. I won't do anything like that again.”

A tear slipped from Anna's eye, and she hugged Rani close. “You act before you think sometimes, darling. You have to be more careful. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Mama. And I'm sorry I upset you.”

Simon cleared his throat and glanced at Anna. “Good. Now that we are agreed about your future safety, let's talk about your happiness. Matthew tells me that the two of you have feelings for each other.”

A surprised look flashed across her face. “I can't believe he told you that.”

“Well, he did,” Simon said, “and I have to tell you I'm disappointed you didn't feel like you could tell your mother and me. You and Matthew should have been honest with us.”

Fresh tears ran down her face. “Maybe I was afraid you wouldn't approve. But I was happier than I've ever been, and I wanted to enjoy it without hearing why Matthew might not be the man for me.”

Anna reached for her hand. “He is a bit older than you, Rani, and he has a lot of memories that have scarred him. If we had disapproved, it would only have been because we love you and don't want to see you hurt.”

Rani squeezed her mother's hand. “Well, after the hateful things he said today, I know how wrong I was not to tell you.”

Simon reached for her other hand and covered it with his. “He wasn't being hateful, Rani. He was honest. He has a lot in his past that causes him pain, and he doesn't want you hurt because of it. He's only trying to protect you.”

Her body began to shake, and tears poured from her eyes. “But I love him so. I just want to be with him. He has a wonderful plan for his farm, and I wanted to be a part of it. Now he's turned his back on me.” She turned to face Anna. “Mama, how could he do that if he loves me?”

Anna shook her head. “I don't know what's in his heart, Rani. I only know the journey toward the one you love is often filled with heartache. But you're young. You'll meet someone else, and you'll fall in love again.”

Rani's eyelids drooped, and she shook her head. “I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that things didn't work out with Matthew. I've always known God wouldn't let me be happy in life.”

Anna's eyes grew wide. “What are you talking about?”

Rani clasped her hands in her lap and stared down at them. “It was my fault Willie died,” she whispered. “I took him from you and Poppa, and I've always known God would take something from me. I…I didn't want it to be Matthew, though.”

Her last words died with a wail before she fell into Anna's arms and buried her face against her mother's chest. Anna's face had paled, and Simon knew his must look the same. He touched Rani's shoulder. “Rani, Willie's death wasn't your fault.”

“But it was,” she cried out. “I should have watched him like Mama said, and then he wouldn't have died.”

Anna gritted her teeth and pushed Rani into a sitting position. “No, Rani, it wasn't your fault. It was mine. Willie came in the kitchen and wanted to stay and watch me work. I told him I didn't need him underfoot while I was so busy. I made him go outside. If I had kept him with me, he'd still be alive. I've always blamed myself, not you.”

Simon stretched his arms to embrace them. “No, you're both wrong. I was going fishing with John that morning, and Willie begged me to let him go. The last time I took him he'd thrown rocks in the water and scared all the fish off. So I told him he had to stay home. There's no way I'll ever forgive myself for not taking him with me. If I had, he'd still be alive.”

The three of them sat there hugging each other and crying as they grieved for the child they each felt they had failed. After a few minutes, Simon pulled his handkerchief out and handed it to Rani. “We've each carried a burden for ten years, and I'm glad today we've finally spoken it aloud. We could spend the rest of our lives asking
what if
, but that's not going to bring Willie back. He's with our heavenly Father, and I know he'd want us to be happy.”

Anna nodded. “He would. He loved his family.”

Simon patted Rani's shoulder. “Now we have to figure out a way to help you deal with this new hurt. Do you want me to talk to Matthew again and see if I can change his mind?”

Rani stood up, walked to the window, and looked out. “I don't think he'll change his mind,” she said. “And maybe it's for the best. My attachment to Matthew has caused George to hate me, and that's hurt too. He's drinking a lot, and I can't stand to think how his parents must be hurting.”

Anna rose to her feet and gasped. “George is drinking?”

Simon stood up. “Pete told me all about it while he was here after his accident. He and Laura are devastated. George isn't staying at home anymore. They don't know where he's living, but Pete suspects he's working at a still.”