Mountain Homecoming (41 page)

Her mother shook her head. “I can't tell you why Matthew acted the way he did. All I know is that he thought it was for your own good at the time. Remember—he said it after Wade Campbell had been pointing a gun at you.”

Rani wiped her tears away and sat down at the table. “Last night you told me that Matthew might have turned his back on me because it wasn't God's will and that He might have had something better in mind for me.”

Her mother nodded. “Yes, and I believe that's true.”

“So, you're saying that God had Matthew turn away from me so I could meet David and marry him?”

“No, Rani, that's not what I'm saying.”

“Then what do you mean?”

Her mother slipped into the chair next to her and clasped Rani's hands on top of the table. “When you met Matthew, he wasn't ready to have a life with any woman. He had too many problems from his past to overcome. But you fell in love, and he probably would have wanted to marry you, but you would have been miserable living with all his anger and guilt.”

Granny leaned across and patted Rani's hands. “And you were dif'rent too, Rani. All you did was rant about the lumber companies and make folks mad tellin' them how they was disloyal to their friends. And you didn't have no confidence in yourself when it came to your artwork. You go off to Maryville, and you come back a confident young woman who's done had an art show in Knoxville. Matthew's not the only one changed. You are too.”

Her mother squeezed her hand. “Maybe that's what God wanted. He had to work on both of you before He could let you be together.”

“But how do I know for sure what God's will is for me? I'm afraid I'll do the wrong thing.”

“It's not always easy to know,” Granny said. “You know the story of the prophet Elijah in the Bible. When ole Queen Jezebel wanted to kill him, he ran away 'cause he was so scared. God told him to go up on a mountain, and He'd tell 'im what to do. Elijah went up there, and God sent a wind and a earthquake and a fire. But God didn't speak to him in those things. He spoke to Elijah in a still, small voice. Then Elijah knew what God wanted him to do.”

Her mother put her finger under Rani's chin and turned her face toward her. “Maybe you need to quit protesting too much that you don't know God's will and listen for His still, small voice inside your heart. He'll let you know what you should do.”

“You think I'll really know?”

“I do,” her mother said. “And when He speaks to you, don't think about how either Matthew or David are going to feel. You do what God tells you is the right thing.”

Granny nodded. “And you'll find the great things God has planned for you.”

Rani took a deep breath and pushed to her feet. “I think I'll go sit by my fire pit out in the field and look at the mountains. Maybe when I'm out there alone, I can hear His voice.”

Her mother stood up and hugged her. “I know you can if you listen.”

Granny reached out and squeezed her hand. “And we'll be a-prayin' for you, darlin'.”

She kissed her mother's cheek, then leaned over and kissed Granny. “Thank you. I love you both so much.” At the back door she turned back toward her mother. “When David comes back, tell him where I am.”

“I will.”

She stepped outside and headed into the field toward the fire pit she'd first dug when she was a child and the other one she'd dug to fire the bricks for Matthew's cabin. The spring rains had brought the grass around the pits back to life, and it looked as if a green frame had been placed around the holes.

She dropped down and stretched her legs out in front of her. It felt good to be back where she'd spent so many hours. A rustling beside her alerted her to another presence, and she smiled as Scout lay down beside her. He looked up and whined before he laid his head on his outstretched paws.

“We've spent a lot of time out here, boy,” she said. “I'm glad you're here today instead of off with Stephen and David. But then you've always preferred hunting your own rabbits instead of helping anybody else.”

Scout whined again, and she stroked his head. “Maybe you knew I needed you more than they did.”

She stared at the mist-covered mountain peaks in the distance and thought about what her mother and Granny had said. Could it really be as simple as what they'd said? Be still and listen. That's what she'd do, and she wasn't leaving this spot until she felt God speaking to her heart.

Her fingers smoothed the soft fur on Scout's head, and he gave a contented whimper. Her hand froze in place, and her heart pounded at the memory of walking a dusty road a year ago. Then she heard it—a small voice that whispered, “Remember the promise you made.”

The sun had climbed higher in the sky, and the temperature had grown warmer. Neither Rani nor Scout had stirred from their positions beside the fire pit. Her stomach rumbled with hunger, and she remembered she hadn't eaten any breakfast. It had to be almost noon by now.

She heard footsteps approaching, and she turned to see David striding toward her. Scout raised his head and growled. Rani put her hand on his head. “No, Scout. Be still.”

David smiled as he neared and then dropped down beside her. “Your mother said you were sitting out here.” He glanced down at Scout. “Do you think he'll bite me today?”

She shook her head. “I don't think so.”

“Good.” He pointed at the pit. “Is this where you fired your pieces?”

“Yes. I dug my first pit here when I was a child. Over the years it's gotten bigger, and I dug another one last year to fire the bricks for the chimney at Matthew's cabin.”

He stared into the hole again. “Well, you won't have to use a pit when we get to New York. You'll be able to use any kiln you want to.”

She turned to him. “David, what did you really think about the pieces I made for the show in Knoxville?”

“I thought they showed a lot of promise. You still have a ways to go, but they were very good.” He leaned over and nuzzled her neck. “I'd buy anything you made.”

She twisted away from him and looked into his eyes. “Did you think they were unique?”

He frowned. “What are you asking, Rani?”

She shrugged. “I had the feeling that they were more like copies of your work, not what I would have produced if I'd pit-fired them.”

He laughed. “Of course they didn't look like pit-fired pieces. That's not the kind of pottery we're going to develop for our buyers.”

She frowned. “But why not?”

He sighed and reached for her hand. “Because those type of pieces are more primitive. They won't sell in the markets we're planning to produce art work for. We need to concentrate on making our glazed works the main focus.”

“I see,” she said. She stared toward the mountains again. “Aren't the Smokies beautiful?”

“They are,” he said. “I've never seen another range like them. They seem to roll on forever.”

She smiled. “I've always called them my mountains, but they've been here since time began. The Cherokee lived here before anyone else, and they called them Shaconage. It means ‘place of the blue smoke.' I love these mountains. And the valley.”

He nodded. “I understand that. I promise you we'll visit often.”

“My father's family goes back generations here. They scratched out a living for years and planted a deep commitment to the land in their children. I'd forgotten until I came back that I'm a child of the Cove, and my roots run deep in the earth here. My pottery is a part of the land too. I dug the clay from a hollow not too far from here and fired it in a pit in the dirt God placed here. It's as much a part of the Cove as I am.”

His face had turned pale. “What are you saying, Rani?”

She took a deep breath. “I'm saying I can't marry you, and I can't go to New York. My heart is here with the land and the people I love.”

He shook his head. “No, you're not thinking rationally. You've come home after being gone for months, and you're about to move hundreds of miles away. It's natural that you should be scared. You'll be fine once we're settled in our own home. You'll be so busy you won't have time to think about Cades Cove and what's happening here.”

“You're wrong. I thought I had put it out of my mind, but I was only fooling myself. I belong here, not in New York.”

He swallowed hard. “Is it the Cove you want, or is it a man named Matthew?”

A tear trickled down her cheek. “I'm sorry, David. I haven't been honest with you. I thought I was over him, but I'm not. I gave him my heart a year ago, and he still has it.”

“But I love you, Rani. I can give you a life so much better than what you can have here.”

She nodded. “I know you love me, and I'm honored. I love you too, but not in the way a wife should love her husband.” She slipped his mother's ring from her finger and held it out to him. “Please take this back. Someday you're going to find a woman who deserves to wear it. I'm not that person.”

She dropped the ring in his open palm, and he closed his fingers around it before he slipped it in his pocket. “Is there anything I can do to change your mind?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“Are you going to marry Matthew?”

“I don't know. I'm letting God lead me today. I have no idea what He has planned for me tomorrow or the next day. I'll have to see what He intends for me in the future.”

“If you need more time, I'll wait. I can go on to New York, and you can join me later if you decide you made the wrong choice.”

She shook her head. “I won't come to New York, but I wish you the best in your new venture. Truly I do. Maybe someday you'll send me one of your pieces.”

He stared at her for a moment before he leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I love you, Rani. I hope you'll be happy.”

She blinked back tears. “I hope you will be too.”

He cleared his throat and pushed to his feet. “Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go ask your father if there's any way I can get back to Townsend this afternoon. If I can, I'll check the trains for the first one going east and be on it.”

“You don't have to leave today, David.”

“I think I do. It will be too uncomfortable being around you.”

She nodded. “If that's the way you want it.”

A sad look crossed his face. “None of this is the way I wanted it, Rani.”

He turned, and she watched as he strode across the field. Tears streamed down her face, and she closed her eyes. “God, please forgive me for hurting David, and I pray someday he'll find it in his heart to forgive me also. Be with him and take care of him.”

Scout whined again, and she stroked his head. Now she had to decide what she needed to do next. Should she go to Matthew and tell him about her broken engagement or not? She sat still and waited for the answer.

She had no idea how much time had passed when she heard someone approaching. She glanced around and saw her father walking toward her. He dropped down beside her and put his arm around her waist. “David told me what happened. How are you feeling, darling?”

She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. “I feel awful about hurting David, Poppa, but I would have hurt him much worse if I had married him.”

“Yes, you would have. I realized at supper last night that you didn't love him.”

Surprised, she straightened and looked into his face. “How did you know?”

He grinned. “Because you didn't look at him the way your mother looks at me.”

She threw her arms around her father and hugged him. “You remembered I said that's what I wanted when I married.”

He nodded. “Yes. I was shocked last summer when I found out you and Matthew had fallen in love. But as I thought about it, I realized I shouldn't have been. You looked at him that way all the time.”

Tears filled her eyes. “Oh, Poppa. I tried to hate him, but I couldn't. I still love him. What should I do?”