Moving On (Dominant Devils Mc Book 1) (7 page)

"I have to agree with Axle on this one Wall. I know I might eat my own words but even with our worst enemies there is still respect to not interrupt a funeral or a wedding," Throttle threw in.

Ignoring everyone else, Wall looked me square in the eye and spoke in a tone that almost sounded like a serial killer. "I know you've got more shit than a little bit going on in that head of yours. I respect that, but you won't be out there by yourself in the front of everyone. You’ll be wide open up there with my fucking sister at your mercy. Care Bear and yourself included will be in the most vulnerable spot. You need to keep your fucking eyes on the lookout. If you don’t have your piece with you find one." Turning to look at our president, "when this day is over we start digging for some fucking answers yeah?"

"As soon as we're back here on club grounds we start digging, I promise you all that," Axle said turning to look each member in the eye with that underlying look of promise.

My next statement was said to the group but meant for Wall in particular. "I will protect Carrin with my life; you all know that. However, you all are on you own letting the old heads in on our change of plans. You know they’ll follow orders, but they sure as hell don't like the youngins making decisions for them. Plus, those crazy ass club princesses are not going to like it any more than the cranky old fuckers will," I said almost chuckling to myself.

"Yeah I’m sure the Prez and the VP will have hell on their hands. Have fun with that Axle and Throttle. You two go ahead and break the news. The rest of us have about thirty minutes to get these bikes organized before we need to head to the cemetery." As he spoke those words you could see the humor in Tank's face as he was picturing the president and the vice president delivering the news to their father's.

Queenie

It had been a few years since I was able to witness a funeral procession filled with the sounds of the twin motors and pipes. The sound alone had me missing the love of my life. Almost thirteen years ago I was in the same spot our Care Bear is now.  I know from experience the widow in the procession is the one who sets the mood for the rest of those who follow. I have to say my baby girl was handling her shit much better than I ever did. She and her brother have so much of Rowdy in them it scares me sometimes. Although it might be scary, I believe it as a blessing they both took after their father. It’s not that I’m a pushover, but my Rowdy could command attention without a word by walking in the room. The man of few words is still what I use to describe him. He was quick to hit first and talk later much like our boy Jacoby. Wall has already followed in his father's footsteps where Carrin, on the other hand, could portray that dominant side when needed but, for the most part, sat back and listened before speaking. Today though my girl had her Dom side showing clear as day. She kept a stone face as she climbed on the back of the bike with Happy to lead everyone back to the clubhouse for the party/wake in her husband's honor.

When I got to the hospital last week and was told Carrin wasn’t seeing anyone I was hurt but understood where it was coming from. Just another way she reminds me of her daddy. Neither my husband nor my kids would want anyone to see them as weak. They shut the world out to disappear long enough to get themselves in check. I on the other hand, have no problem what so ever being the crazy babbling bitch. My daughter was so much stronger than me, though. I’m so proud of the woman she has become. No doubt in my mind my girl will get through this.

On our trip back I was lost in thought as I unknowingly looked out the side view mirror. It was then I saw the normal spot in the formation between Viking and Doc was left open; Rowdy’s spot. Overcome with emotion, tears sprang to my eyes as I took in the view. Even in death, they had their brother riding with them. I never thought I would be able to gain more respect for these men but after seeing that I was definitely wrong. God, I loved my family.

Wall

To say I was relieved when we made it back to the clubhouse unscathed during the procession was putting it mildly. I was tense since we left the parking lot a few hours before. I felt the tension ease off a bit as I pulled in to park my bike in line with the rest of the officers of the club. That’s when I saw Carrin still hadn't unmounted the bike. I watched as she said something to Happy. He nodded before climbing off to head inside. I sat still, straddling my bike waiting for everyone to disappear inside. I needed to check on my baby sister but didn't feel the need for an audience. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Madison was looking at me for the okay to approach Carrin. I shook my head at her letting her know silently that I was on it. Madison stood still looking torn for a few moments before surrendering and made her way inside using the door towards the back of the clubhouse avoiding Carrin's line of sight.

When the coast was clear I hoped off my heritage and made my way to the bike that sat three over from mine. Before I could get beside her, Carrin spoke up. "I'm gonna ask you something and I want a straight answer from you. I know that even as a club princess I’m not privy to all of the club business but I need you to tell me why you guys changed up formation today. If I hadn't seen the way the bikes were when I first got here I probably wouldn't have even questioned it, but you guys changed everything up, encasing the women in the middle and not put to the back like normal protocol. Why was that, what the hell is going on?"

Standing to her back I took a minute to run through things in my head. I didn't want to freak her out on today of all days and I couldn't tell her the whole truth either. So I put my game face on and rounded from my place behind her to stand in front of her while I spilled a partial truth. "Tank got word that we might have someone watching us so we took precautions to make sure the women were safe. We knew that none of them, including you, would take kindly to us taking care of you, but we needed to be careful. You girls can go bat shit crazy when we question whether or not you can protect yourself. Today is a day to remember Brookes not to have a never ending argument with the lot of you crazies."

"Somehow I think there's more to the story than just being watched, but I'll let this go for now only because I know whatever the reason you guys were just looking out for us.” She was silent for a second then whispered her appreciation. The guys around this club weren’t the only ones with reputations to uphold. “Thank you for giving me something and not just telling me it's club business. I’ll try not to flip my shit over stupid stuff but don’t keep me completely in the dark.”

We looked at each other in silence before I chose to change the subject. "Did you see the old guys leaving dad's spot open for him as we rode"?

"No, I couldn't see anything being that I was in the very front dummy. I hope someone got it on video. I really would like to see that. I'll say it doesn't surprise me one bit, though. It might seem weird to you but I could almost feel his presence with me today. It's like he was with me the whole way there and back".

"Not weird at all little sis. I felt the same way and after seeing the guys do that, I have a feeling they felt it too. Although none of the hard asses will own up to it, though".

"Yeah they probably won't. How bout you help me climb off this thing so we can go do a shot of Jack.” What the fuck? Little sis just had a kid a week ago and she’s already wanting to throw back shots with the pros. I know this is how we deal with shit, but something was telling me it might not be such a great idea. She cut me off before I could voice my thoughts, though.

“Mom is keeping Octavia for me and I made sure all I took for pain in the last two days is ibuprofen so I intend to drink the rest of my sorrows away tonight and wake up tomorrow with a fresh slate. I need to forget the bad shit and bury it. I’m not going to crack Wall so get those thoughts out of your head. This is about the closure and moving on big brother."

"Well alright, Care Bear. I think I can help you accomplish that. Think I might need a shot just as bad as you. Although I plan on being sober enough to coerce Yasmin and Diamond to accompany me back to my room later!"

"Too much info Wall. I don't need a visual of the three of you fucking the night away! Just make sure that if I'm still here when you split I have a sober chaperone to take me to one of the open cabins to crash. That way someone doesn’t have to take me all the way into town then come back to get me in the morning to get Octavia. If I’m left with a drunk I won't see my baby until dinner time tomorrow the way you all sleep off a goddam hangover off," she said with a forced smile on her face.

"I trust prospect Dalton. I'll put him in charge of getting you to your usual cabin. We've already broken the news to prospect Aaron that he is on Queenie duty tonight. You ready to do this?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." And at her words, I got her off the bike and into the great room of the club house.

Carrin

Walking into the clubhouse with my big brother I noticed the prospects and the girls did a kick ass job with everything. I moved away from my brother to the front of the room to address everyone who had joined us to celebrate my husband’s life. I took my place on the makeshift stage beside the table that held my late husband’s picture with two shot glasses. Everyone stopped their conversations and immediately focused on me.

Everyone in this room knows I don’t like being the center of attention. I took a minute to compose myself, topping off both shots glasses with Jim Beam and practice the words in my head I wanted to say. Finally, ready I started by lifting one of the shot glasses in the air as I began to express my thanks to everyone. 

Nervously I began with my shot in the hand, "before we get started I wanted to take the time to thank everyone here for their support through all of this. I need everyone to know that this is a celebration of life so feel free to party like rock stars." That caused quiet cheers throughout the room.

"When Brookes told me in the car he wanted to be cremated and placed in the family vault this is what he wanted. He wanted a celebration like the rest of our family expects at the time of their death. There are a few here who won't understand this concept being new to this so let me explain." I turned to the table that held our few guest we considered outsiders.

"When someone passes in our family, we do not believe in placing them in the ground. When we are alive we pride ourselves with living free and not conforming ourselves to society's way of living. We don't like to feel boxed or caged in while we are alive and so we sure as hell don’t want to feel it in death. When the founding members started this club many years ago they decided that cremation was the way to go. The ashes were to be divided. Part of the ashes would be placed in the families' vault at the cemetery and part of them would be placed in an urn. The ashes placed in the vault is to show this family that they are never truly gone. That part in the urn, is to be released on a memorial ride. The memorial ride is set no sooner than one year after their death. It's tradition to take them on their final ride. Even though Brookes was not a patched member he was still family to everyone here. So that’s what he’ll get. It's a tradition that during their wake you announce the date of said ride. Although, there is a bylaw stating it is to take place no sooner than a year, there is nothing stating how long after a year it can be.”

I turned my attention back to address the whole room. “Let it be known that Brookes' final ride will be held October 5, 2014. Four years from now. I'm sure this gives everyone enough notice to be here,” I said with a little smile trying to break the seriousness of the room.

Everyone looked at me confused. As I knew they would. In the history of the club, we never scheduled a ride that long after their death. Normally the memorial rides fall on the one-year anniversary of the death or somewhere close to it depending on the weekend. Not able to stand the questioning looks staring back at me I dropped my head and continued to speak.

"Please let me explain before anyone tries to talk me out of this. Last night while I sat awake looking through the calendar, my thoughts went back to a time when I took my first actually ride with my dad. I remember it was the day of my fourth birthday. I begged my daddy to take me and just spend the day with me. Most women in this room can relate to what it's like to be a straight up daddy's girl. I worshiped the ground my father walked on regardless of what side of the law he danced on. I remember he came into my room to wake me with a smile on his face, something mom claims he only reserved for me, on the morning of my birthday. We left that morning and took the three-hour trip to Myrtle beach on his old shovel head. We spent the day riding, walking the beach, and eating as much ice cream as my little stomach could handle. It's the greatest memory I have with him. After thinking about that day it occurred to me that Octavia will never get to ride with her daddy. She might not get to ride on the back of her daddy’s sled with him but she will ride along for his final ride."

With watering eyes, I raised my head to look at the faces I've come to love so much. I saw the look of understanding as I tried to add to my choice. "All the people associated with this club knew my father passed when I was thirteen years old. Although he was around to teach me to ride my bicycle and that the little Honda dirt bike I had, he never got to teach me to ride my first Harley. I can honestly say I am the only one of the club brats that doesn't ride on their own. I’ve never asked anyone to teach me because I believe it was something my father was meant to."

After a short pause, I found myself staring at Boomer as I finished.  "I'm ready for someone to teach me to now. I want to be able to ride Brookes' bike with our daughter on the back when we take him for his final trip." A few seconds after spilling my heart out to everyone there was a slight banging sound rising. The sounds of hands pounding on the table. The whole room erupted banging or clapping letting me know they agreed with my decision. As I stood on the stage of the great room Boomer walked up the stairs to me. He stopped and took both my hands into his, looking me in the eye before he spoke.