Moving On (Dominant Devils Mc Book 1) (8 page)

"Care Bear you are one of the bravest women I know. Even though myself, Viking, Ghost and Doc always felt like your surrogate fathers after we lost Rowdy we understood why you opted to not have any of us to show you how to ride.  I believe I speak for all the brothers here when I say that when you’re ready, you let us know. We'll have you riding like the boss we know you are."

With tears in my eyes, I jumped into Boomers' arms and hugged him as if my life depended on it. I know I spilled have my shot of Jim on the stage but I didn’t care at that point in time. Boomer held me while I sobbed into his chest from the front of the whole room. Once I gained composure I stood back a bit to look at Boomer with a nod of reassurance from him I let go to finish explaining to our few civilians how the club did things at a wake. While still holding the old biker's calloused hand in one hand and my half spilled shot glass in the other, I raised the glass address the group once again.

"Excuse me for needing a minute everyone," I said triggering remarks from everyone stating "no problem", "it's okay" or “take your time” I continued on. "It's also a tradition that each one present has to come up on the stage and share a memory or a story about the deceased to honor them. Once you complete your epic tale you will then raise a one shot glass for yourself to toast the deceased, taking a shot for yourself and the second shot for the deceased. It's a pretty simple concept but means respect in our world. Before we get to that we’ll feed you first, though."

"Now it's time for our prayer before we get to the grub and get the celebration rolling. This prayer is from all my brothers and sisters," Boomer stated as he bowed his head. “May the great Harley Spirit watch over Brookes as he leaves us to ride with him to Valhalla. May Brookes always have the wind in his face, the sun at his back and his rubber on the ground. May the great Spirit place his hand on us and keep the one we love safe as he left us to ride on with him. Enjoy Valhalla brother. Amen."

"Amen," everyone said in unison. Within seconds the music started and the party began. Conversations began to grow and the food was served.

Some time later after everyone had been through the buffet line and taken their seats I notice the commander stand to take the stage to pay tribute with the first shot.

"I must say that even under the circumstances I have enjoyed this time this past week getting to know more of Brookes' family. I have always thought of Brookes and Athena as my family. The memory I want to share includes them both. I met them both as I watched unbeknownst to the cadets completing their final phase of boot camp. I watched as one cadet forged through with what I would later discover was a broken wrist. This cadet could have easily led his squad to be the first to complete the crucible. He chose to set a pace that allowed everyone in this squad to finish together even though the pain was in his eyes. At the finish line as I handed out their individual Eagle, Globe and Anchor the cadet never let on that he was in pain while completing the fifty-four-hour training exercise. The next day I approached him while he was carrying on a conversation with one of the female soldiers I noticed in his squad the previous day. As I approached unnoticed I could hear Brookes explaining to Athena that he would have his wrist looked at while on leave after graduation. He explained that he didn't go through hell just to look weak in the eyes of his parents. I didn't know the young soldiers at all at that moment, but I felt a sense of pride knowing I had two cadets that willingly portrayed selfless acts of concern for one another. I took pride in what they stood for. Without addressing the two I turned and headed towards my office on base making a vow to keep tabs on both of those soldiers. Standing in front of you good people today I can say I kept that vow.  Brookes will always be a part of my family as I will always consider him my son," he said turning to me. I looked into the grief struck eyes of the Commander before he went through the motions of taking both shots.

"Carrin I see you have plenty of family here that love you and Octavia but I want you to know that you have us too. If you ever need anything at all you call Rose or me. We will be here for you. Although Brookes’ is no longer with us we would like to still be able to come and visit often as we had planned already. We still want to be a part of your family and if it’s still okay with you, we will be the fill in grandparents to Octavia for Brookes."

Unable to speak for fear of crying again. I smiled at the commander and nodded my head. After he returned the smile he returned to his seat. I sat in silence for almost a half hour while people walked on and off the stage confessing stories of my late husband. I was enamored at the different ways the people in this room would be remembering Brookes.

I waited for everyone else to pay their respects before I made my way to the stage and took the bottle of southern comfort pouring both glasses full. "I just want to say how thankful I am to have each and every one of you in my life. As I look out to the sea of faces in this room a quote Brookes use to say to me all the time when I asked about family came to mind. ‘Family is not about blood. Family is about who has your back when things fall apart and helps you pick up the pieces to get you back on track.’ It is what he always would say to me when I made excuses for my large over protective family.” I turned to face his picture situated on the easel as if I was talking to him and pointed back to the crowd. “Well, babe this is our family here to help pick up the piece’s. I will love you forever and always! I'll see you on the other side". I threw back both shots simultaneously and walked off the stage straight to where my mother held my little girl. I took my baby girl and turned to face everyone once again. "Alright, everyone enough with all the sadness. This is a party so let's go bitches"!

With that everyone began to move around. The guys in the club had been keeping a low profile in respects to me and the grief everyone was feeling. It was time to let them let loose and get back to normal. I knew before the night was over the club bunnies would be on the pole or the bar and even a few member’s dicks helping them unwind. This is what Brookes would want. He would want all of us getting on with life and back to normal, or at least whatever normal we had before.

I held onto Octavia for close to an hour before Queenie came for my little diva to take home and put to bed. My mother kissed me on the forehead as she told me to let loose a bit and enjoy myself because that’s what Brookes would've wanted for me. As soon as I watched my mother walk out the door with prospect Aaron on her heels I made my way up beside my girls at the bar. It was time to try to push the grief aside and let loose with my family.

Athena, Madison, Hyde, Izzy and Romy awaited me at the bar. They had four rows of shots poured already. I walked up to a place between the girls looking at a distracted Hyde. "You okay chickie," I said to Hyde.

"I'm fine. I was just hoping that Avery would make an appearance today. I know she took off years ago and only knew Brookes for two years prior to that, but she's known you her whole life. She's been gone four and a half years, checking in every three of four months. It's just hard ya know. I miss my sister," Hyde replied.

"Well then in true club brat form we do a shot in honor of our sister," I said as I raised my first glass. "To Avery, may she know we love and miss her like crazy"! "Amen," came from not only the girls surrounding me but from a male voice from across the bar. I looked to see Axle nod to me before turning to walk away. Well damn looks like our president was still carrying a flame for Avery. If I can think to remember it in the morning I want to know if he’s the reason for Avery's sudden disappearance a few years back. We never really got a straight answer, although I’m sure Romy knows more than what she lets on. I have my suspicions that she has met up with Avery over the years while away at the different tattoo conventions. I'll file that thought away for tomorrow, though. Tonight I plan on hanging with my girls.

For the rest of the night, the seven of us shot the night away, never running out of things or people to toast to.  The guys left us girls to ourselves knowing we were in our own little world. Plus, the club bunnies were definitely giving them a show taking turns on the pole. The last thing I saw before I passed out was Yasmin between my brother's legs giving him head as he watched Jewels strutting herself around the stripper pole. Some things cannot be unseen and that’s definitely one for the damn books.

The next day all seven of us woke up in my favorite cabin on the compound. With banging heads, we fought hard trying to recall what we remembered about the night before. It was this moment, sitting around the table with my girls sipping on awful coffee, that I realized that with the help of the club and my girls I would be okay.

                                         
Three months later....

Carrin

"Thank you so much for coming with me, Athena.” I wondered why the Commander wanted to see us in person.

"I'll tell you for the hundredth time, it's no problem driving you out here. I had to come anyway to finalize the end of my military career. I'm sure the commander was just using me having to come out here as a reason to get you and Octavia out for a visit."

I chuckled to myself. The commander was in love with our little diva. He and his wife have even learnt to Skype to keep up with how Octavia is growing. In the three months since Brookes has passed my life has changed drastically. Not for the bad, though. Athena and Hart both made the move to Great Falls to settle down. At first, despite what Brookes had told me about Athena and her surrogate brother, I thought they looked like a couple. After only two weeks of both of them living with me, I found that to be far from the truth. Those two were a fucking riot.

Hart had hit the ground running with the move. When he first rolled in with Athena I wasn’t able to put two and two together. Apparently Athena’s brother was the god of a man Hyde met a few years ago at some training thing. Hart was the one Hyde was trying to get to take over as the manager of the parts warehouse the club owned so she could get back out on the road making her sales calls. He seemed to be kicking ass with sales up and taking a lot of the pressure off of Hyde in the process. He had even started hanging around the club quite a bit and was talking about prospecting in the future.

Athena, on the other hand, was having a slower go at getting settled. After a few private conversations with Hart, I've come to realize Athena has a hard time making such big life changes. Apparently she has to have time to think everything through and even develop a backup plan in case the first course of action falls through. I thought it was because of the military background but Hart said it was way deeper than that but it wasn't his place to tell. From what I could piece together from Hart and what Brookes had said in the past, Athena had a hard childhood growing up in foster care. It only became easier when she was twelve and Hart had been placed with her at the same home. Apparently those two had been inseparable ever since. In the last two weeks, I've been seeing a change in her for the better, though. I think it’s the fact that with me returning to school after the winter break she has had Octavia to herself most of the day. She elected to stay home with Octavia while I went back to school when I was using daycare as an excuse not to go back. It was the little security I needed to move forward. I thank any god I can every day for these two coming into my life. Without them, I don't know if I would be functioning as well as I am.

"We're here for an appointment with Commander Quin," Athena said to the soldier at the gate pulling me from my thoughts. After the soldier verified the appointment and checked our id's we proceeded on the base. I sat silently as Athena maneuvered through the streets leading us to a large brick building which I presumed held the offices of the higher ups on base.

"Well, what do you say we get going. I'm sure grandpa is dying, to see his little pumpkin," Athena stated as she climbed out of the driver’s seat of her truck. I allowed her to grab the infant seat, carrying Octavia, as I grabbed the diaper bag and my purse. Thank the gods Athena knows where she was going. I followed her through the main door, through the length of the building until we came to a stop in front of the door with the brass badge plate with Martin's name on it.

We knocked on the door waiting only a few moments for the door to open. A young man who must be the commander’s new assistant, since Athena had turned in her resignation, greeted us. "Sargent Young, Mrs. Manning please come in and have a seat. The commander was still on the phone the last I checked. I will let him know you ladies are here," the young man said as he closed the door behind us.

We sat in silence for almost five whole minutes before our little diva decided she would let everyone know she was here. While I unstrapped her and lifted her from her seat Athena went straight to work preparing the bottle. Just as I was able to slip the nipple of the bottle in the fussy little girls mouth the door leading to the commander' office opened. He looked at the young man behind the desk with an unfriendly look as he said forcefully, "Black, I told you to let me know the moment these ladies arrived".

"Sir you were on the phone. I didn't think to interrupt you. I was waiting for you to disconnect the call before notifying you that they were here Sir," the young officer stumbled.

"From now on when I give you an order you follow it. We'll discuss this in detail later. Right now I have business to attend to. Now you may hold my calls until this meeting is over. Do you understand"?

"Sir yes Sir Commander Quin," Officer Black responded.

The Commander turned to look at both of us extending his hand in the way of his office showing us without words to proceed with him.

"Sorry, you had to wait ladies. I was on the phone with Rosalie. She will be so disappointed she was not able to, at least, say “hi” to you guys. I would say you could make it up to her and stop by to see her on your way off base but she just called to inform me that she was headed down to the shelter where she volunteers. The shelter was very short on staff today and called for reinforcements. Apparently there's a nasty little stomach bug wreaking havoc".

Athena responded first before I had a chance to. "It's not a problem sir. Maybe this will help persuade her to come down to visit in person on a later date."

"Trust me when I say she already has it in the works. We didn't get to make it for Christmas last month but she’s already planning on coming around Easter. She was really upset we didn’t make it for Tivie's first Christmas but I promised her that it would be the only one we’d miss. Now would you mind if I took over feeding the little one? I didn't realize how much I missed this little girl until I saw you guys in the waiting room".

I pulled the bottle from Octavia's mouth to burp her before handing her over to Martin. Here lately, the little diva has been, upchucking on everyone. Even though it's late in the afternoon I don't want Martin to walk around for the rest of the day smelling of spit up. After two very loud burps, I placed my little girl into the arms of her grandpa. I sat back and watched the broad native American man handle the tiny little girl with ease while our conversation rolled on about her and how she was doing.

After Octavia nodded off to sleep content with a full belly the conversation went towards Athena's choice of not reenlisting. Now that her enlistment was completed, she had already been through two four year terms and was now finishing a two-year term, she was ready to leave the military fulltime but was dropping down into the reserves just as Brookes had done a few years back. At least in the reserves she would still be part of something, yet she would only have to report one weekend a month and two weeks a year unless being called up for active duty with all the troubles we’ve had overseas.

"I have the paperwork here on top of my desk for you to sign if you want to grab it. There's also a safety security box in there as well. Pull it out to," the commander said to Athena. Athena stood to move around the desk carefully not to wake the now sleeping baby. She pulled a thick folder along with a black fire box out of the commander's desk drawer. After placing the box on the desk Athena opened the folder going straight to work signing in all the correct spaces.

Forty minutes later I still sat silently watching as Martin held Octavia while whispering promises of love and duty as a grandpa should. I glanced ever so often at the mysterious firebox sitting on the corner of his desk wondering what in the hell it had to do with us. As soon as Athena stroked the pen across the signature line one last time she righted the papers in the folder then closing it encasing the documents inside. Placing the pen down beside the folder she looked up at the commander with a sadness in her eyes as she asked a question. "Is that his? Are we to open it here or take it back with us?"

Not sure of what "his” meant so I sat quietly waiting for the commander to reply. "Yes, it belongs to Brookes. I've been holding onto that box for him since his parents passed. It's only been opened when he would visit to remove or add things to it."

"He was very clear the last time he was here that should anything ever happen to him I was to give this to Carrin. He wanted her, Octavia, you, myself, Whit, Hart and Aiden present. Take it back with you three. Please let me know when you get home and I will make sure I'm there via Skype. I might not be able to be there with you physically when you open this box together but I will be there.” I still didn’t thoroughly understand what could be in that box that would require all of us present. I was pondering that very thought when Martin spoke again.

"Although, I'm sure Brookes wasn't aware his time would be up as soon as it was, I know that he was prepared. Whatever is in that safety deposit box will hopefully show that. He trusted me with it for many years. He knew that I would stand behind his wishes and could be trusted not to interfere with anything he placed in that box." Martin looked down at a sleeping Octavia placing a small kiss on her forehead before handing her back to me. "Please let me know when you plan on cracking this thing open.”

"We certainly will sir. Thank you for having us today. It was great seeing you in the flesh again," I said giggling a little to lighten the mood. It seemed to work as a wide smile spread across his face.

"The pleasure is all mine. Athena I'll make sure the paperwork is filed accordingly and hopefully, you should see your finalized paperwork within a month. Let me know if civilian life is all it's cracked up to be. Lord knows the wife is pressing me to pursue retirement next year when it comes available and at my age I don’t have the reserves to fall back on".

"Will do sir. We should be headed back, It'll be getting dark before long and the deer can be a bitch when driving back through the mountains". Athena stated while packing the things back in Octavia's bag and getting ready for our departure.

"Yeah, I guess it is getting on in the day. Thank you for having us Martin. Can't wait for you and Rosalie to be down for a visit. You never know the little diva might be crawling by then," I said as I secured her in her seat.

We gave the commander quick hugs as Athena and I made our way to the door leading into his office. I followed Athena through the building again back to her truck. Neither of us said a word as the truck made its way off the base and out to interstate 95. Most of the ride home was done in silence. It felt as though neither of us wanted to acknowledge the black safety deposit box that sat in the back seat of the truck.

Inside the cab of the truck began ringing. It took a minute before my eyes landed on the screen of the radio. The display on the radio showed it was Aiden calling. I assume the commander must have told him to call. Athena and I hadn't even discussed anything about our meeting for everyone with the mystery box.

"Well hello, Aiden. To what do I owe the pleasure or has your father reached out to you before Carrin and I had a chance"? It was a few moments before Aiden responded to Athena.

"Yeah, you caught me. Dad called a few minutes ago and was very vague but made me promise to get a hold of my favorite ladies. He said it was important. Is everything okay? I was planning on headed that way to see everyone in the morning but I can leave tonight if need be," Aiden belted into the speakers of the truck almost anxiously.

"Everything is fine although if you're headed this way in the morning that works out great for what we need to accomplish," I said before Athena could respond.

"Okay I still don’t get the secrecy but if you don't need me right away I'll wait to head towards you in the morning. I kinda fell into bed with a woman last night and haven't made my way out of it yet if ya know what I mean."

"That's just fine and dandy. We'll wait for you to finish getting your dick wet before we open the present Brookes has left for all of us," Athena said with venom in her voice.

I was taken back by the sound of Athena's voice. She was definitely going to be explaining that one. She sounded like a jealous woman scorned. Maybe there was more to how she felt about Aiden that she wasn't forthcoming with. I filed that away for another day and spoke to Aiden once more. I didn’t need the two of them in a god damn screaming match waking the baby up in the process. That would make for a long ride home.

"The morning is fine Aiden. We'll see you when you get here. Don't be falling in love with the little floozy. Be careful! They're calling for storms tomorrow afternoon dear."

"I'll see you ladies for brunch tomorrow morning. You know how I like my bacon and eggs. See you in the a.m.," he said hanging up. When I was sure the call was ended I looked over at Athena with questioning eyes only to have her shrug her shoulders at me and look away.

The rest of the ride was uneventful. When we pulled up to my little-rented bungalow I sighed inwardly. Even with the club paying for Brookes' final expenses, the life insurance policy for him wasn't enough to even pay a third of the cost for the house we wanted by the falls. We had always joked calling it our "little house by the falls" and it couldn't be further from the truth. The house itself had seven bedrooms, basement apartment and four complete baths. It used to function as a bed and breakfast back when this town was jumping with the mills still going. The parcel of land that came with the house was just over sixty-five acres. Brookes had talked about using the few buildings on the outskirt of the property and making a shooting range. A dream that will never happen it seems.