Mr. Darcy and the Secret of Becoming a Gentleman (26 page)

“Thank you. I cannot claim always to have had such empathy, but of late, I have had some personal experience with both the ridiculous and the sublime.”

As he smiled at her, Lucas took note of her response. Before more could be said, however, Hill entered and informed Elizabeth that her mother needed to see her immediately.

Once Elizabeth quitted the room, her mother beset her in the hall. “Lizzy, you must get that man to leave, right away! He will spoil everything.”

Unable to resist the temptation, she asked, “Which man is that?”

“Lizzy, there is no time for your foolishness. I am talking about Mr. Darcy, of course. I have no idea why he continues to lurk about, interfering with everything, but it must be stopped. He will put John Lucas off.”

“Maybe, Mother, that is for the best. It may be that Mr. Darcy has come specifically to see me.”

“Lizzy, do not be silly, and even if he was, I will not be fooled again. To think that I almost encouraged him over Mr. Bingley for Jane's attention. If I did not eventually see through Mr. Darcy's purpose, it could all have ended in ruin. No, he is simply here to be in the way and nothing more. I think he enjoys vexing us. You must get him to leave so that Mr. Lucas can speak to you alone.”

“Mother, even if I agreed with you, I do not know what I could do to accomplish such a task. I have already tried to no avail.”

“Well, you must simply try harder. Now, go back in there and make sure Mr. Lucas understands where your allegiances lie.”

“As to that, Mother, I think I can promise more success.”

After Elizabeth had left the parlor, Lucas studied Darcy for a moment and then spoke. “Well, Mr. Darcy, we appear to have dwindled from five to just two, and while I believe both of us would prefer that number, I think we each had a different pairing in mind.”

In response, Darcy simply raised his eyebrow, indicating that Lucas should continue.

“I once told you that I often see social exchanges in military terms. Would you like to hear my assessment of this morning's interactions?”

With his expression blank, Darcy replied, “Very much so.”

“I think I came here this morning expecting to annex a neighboring territory through peaceful negotiation. I assumed that our long-standing mutual interests would bode in favor of an alliance. To my surprise, I now see that I have stumbled, ill prepared, into heavily guarded territory and that my chances of success here are very slim. Would you be willing to confirm my appraisal of how the land lies?”

Darcy looked at Lucas for several minutes and then replied in a thoughtful tone, “I think you are right. You are much more suited to the military than to the role of the elder son.”

As both men continued to warily regard each other, Elizabeth reentered the room. The men stood, and Lucas spoke first. “Miss Bennet, I am afraid I have overstayed my visit. Thank you for your hospitality. As always, I have enjoyed my time with you exceedingly. But I believe we both have other matters that need our attention.”

Elizabeth bowed her adieu. After Lucas's departure, she turned to face Mr. Darcy in exasperation. “May I ask, sir, what caused his sudden departure? And while we are on the subject, maybe you could also explain your decision to come here, after we had decided against it, and the meaning of your conduct after you arrived.”

“I do not believe we ever decided that I would not come.”

“We specifically discussed it.”

“No, you said that there was no point in my coming because we had not really come to an understanding. Because I then offered for you, the reason for me not coming was removed, and there was no impediment to my visit.”

“Sir, even if I could follow your logic, it is hardly an accurate view of what transpired.”

“Are you saying that I have misinterpreted the facts or that I have misstated them?”

“Does it matter?”

He looked back at her in defiance, but soon thought better of it. She looked so appealing with her eyes animated with emotion. In the end, all he really wanted to do was kiss her again. Couldn't he somehow get to that point without so much resistance? He could see some of the justice in her criticisms. Why did his pride require him to defend his actions, even when he doubted his own motives for taking them? He thought it ironic how much she had already changed him. After his father's death, he had never allowed anyone to question his actions. He was now anticipating her reproofs and questioning himself on her behalf.

As she waited for a reply, she watched his face take on a softer expression as he said, “I suppose there are many reasons why I came here this morning, and I am more than willing to explain them all to you, but ultimately, I simply needed to see you again. Given the newness of our understanding, would you deny me the pleasure?”

Elizabeth had braced herself for his response, but she had not counted on such uninhibited honesty. Disarmed, she replied in a more amiable tone, “I suppose, under normal circumstances, I would not. But you must admit that the timing of your visit was quite awkward, and even if I could understand your need to come, I cannot fathom your hostile posture toward Mr. Lucas. You have already secured my regard. Would not the more generous thing have been simply to exhibit a level of civility?”

Her references to his lack of civility awoke in him his old fears, and those doubts translated into a fear of losing her. He gravely replied, “Yes, I suppose you are right. But you must understand… I have truly attempted to take your previous words about my… lack of civility to heart and… I hope you have seen that I have endeavored to gauge my actions accordingly… But I am afraid there are some things that I do not believe are in my control.”

Seeing him struggle with his emotions, she took a step toward him and laid her hand on his arm in support. Surprised by her actions, he looked down at her hand on his arm and felt the kindness of her gesture wash over him. As he looked to her face, he saw her concern for him, and it was a balm to his soul. Without warning, he pulled her to his chest. With his head bowed to the top of hers, he whispered in her hair, “I cannot bear the thought of losing you. I still can hardly grasp that you have accepted me. I know I have many failings, and I want you to understand how seriously I took to heart your reproofs, but I cannot promise something I cannot keep. When another man is seeking your affections, I will never be able to respond with civility.”

As he solemnly searched her face for her reaction, he was surprised to see a mischievous smile come to her lips. “I suppose that is a fault I can live with. Are there others?”

As relief spread over his features, his own smile spread to his eyes. “Oh, yes, far too many to catalogue. But I think it will be wisest for me simply to let you encounter them as they arise. I do not want to scare you away.” As they stood inches apart, staring at each other, both relieved that the tension between them had abated, their smiles suddenly turned serious as they both could feel the heat of their closeness. As he gazed intently at her, he could not resist the temptation of her lips. Their kiss was tenuous at first, but soon intensified as they began to explore each other's mouths. Just as she was beginning to lose herself in the embrace, she felt him pull away. Resting his forehead on hers while he slowed his breathing, he eventually whispered, “My love, you are so tempting, but I will not make the same mistake I did this morning. Your kisses make me forget all else. One of the reasons I returned is that I realized you never answered my request.”

Smiling and somewhat dazed, she asked, “And what request might that be, sir?”

“I think there was only one that stood out. Have you forgotten it so quickly?” As he waited for his answer, he began to lightly kiss the exposed skin below her ear down to the nape of her neck.

As she attempted to maintain her composure and he continued his exploration of her skin, she replied, “No, I do recall something about marriage being discussed, but you are right, I am not sure how it was resolved. Maybe you should ask again.”

Stopping his ministrations, ever so briefly, he inquired, “Why would I ask again when there is already one proposal outstanding?”

As she grazed her lips over his, he closed his eyes momentarily at the sensation and then attempted to capture her lips. But before he could succeed, she pulled back and said, “Your last proposal was such an improvement over the first, I can only imagine how well you might do now.”

“Madam, I think you overestimate me. At the moment, I can barely maintain a coherent thought, let alone formulate several sentences.”

As he continued to caress her neck, she absentmindedly replied, “Are several sentences required?”

Laughing, he stopped what he was doing and tipped her face toward his so that he could look into her eyes. “Maybe not so many, but I want to hear you say that you will be my wife. If that requires me asking again, I will. Elizabeth, I love you, and I cannot live without you. I want you to be mine in every way. Will you marry me?”

“Fitzwilliam, I am already yours. All I wish is to be your wife and for you to be my husband.”

A look of heartfelt joy spread across his face as he pulled a small box from inside his coat. “I also came back this morning because I wanted to give this to you. It is a ring that my father gave to my mother. The sentiment it expresses mirrors my own heart. I would be honored if you would take it as a sign of my love and devotion.”

The ring was intricately crafted with the finest metals and the words, “Many are the starrs I see but in my eye no starr like thee,” were delicately inscribed within it. As she read them, she exclaimed, “It is lovely. I can hardly comprehend that something so beautiful should be mine.”

“That is exactly how you make me feel, so it is apparently a fitting choice. I know you cannot wear it until I speak with your father, but please keep it with you. Knowing you have it makes me feel connected to you.”

“As you wish. But you had this with you? I thought you were only planning on asking to court me. Why did you bring the ring?”

Looking sheepish, he responded, “I had not decided between the two, and I wanted you to have the ring in either regard.”

Laughing at his response, she added, “You continue to surprise me.”

“As long as it continues to be in a good way, I am content. Elizabeth, I think I should speak to your father now. I may have made it clear to Mr. Lucas where my intentions lie, and I should seek your father's consent before he hears of it through other channels.”

“Certainly, but what exactly did you say to Mr. Lucas?”

“Nothing in particular, but I think it was apparent.”

“That it was. May I ask what you hoped to accomplish by your inquisition of him?”

Laughing, he thought for a moment and said, “I suppose I wanted to point out to you the differences between us.”

“And in your estimation, what might they be?”

“Only that he is a boy and I am a man.”

Laughing, she asked, “And what might that prove?”

“While other women might be content to fool themselves as to the difference, I believe you know better and that you also know yourself well enough to know which you require.”

Blushing, she replied, “Mr. Darcy, I believe there is no proper answer to that statement. Perhaps now would be an opportune time to seek out my father.”

With an impudent grin, he bowed and replied, “By all means.”

***

As Darcy prepared to knock on the door to Mr. Bennet's study, the elation he had felt from his time with Elizabeth began to be replaced by a sense of anxiety. He knew a certain amount of nervousness was natural, but felt he was suddenly experiencing more than was to be expected. He knew part of it stemmed from his natural shyness and the fact that he really did not know Mr. Bennet, but he also knew he was particularly inexperienced at requesting anything of anyone that he could not obtain himself. In business matters, his steward often carried out his negotiations for him, but when the task did require his involvement, it was with the knowledge that if he did not like the terms, he would simply walk away from the transaction. This was something entirely different. Nothing was more important to him than acquiring Mr. Bennet's consent to marry Elizabeth, and he could not rest until he succeeded. Adding to his worry was Elizabeth's admission to him during their walk that her father probably would not look upon his request with favor. The final weight on his shoulders was the knowledge that he also needed to broach another subject with Mr. Bennet that neither would enjoy.

Knowing that there was no alternative, he knocked on the door, and after being granted leave, he entered. Mr. Bennet's surprise and his annoyance at seeing him were momentarily clear on his face. After composing himself, Mr. Bennet offered in a perfunctory manner, “Mr. Darcy, please come in. To what do I owe this honor?”

“Um, yes… Mr. Bennet, I was hoping to speak to you about a matter of some importance. Actually, I need to speak to you about two matters of some importance.”

Mr. Bennet stopped to survey the younger man's demeanor before answering in a measured tone. He immediately noticed how ill at ease his visitor was, but attributed it to his obvious distaste for his surroundings. Now that he thought about it, he had hardly ever seen the man comfortable, except perhaps during dinner once, but he could not immediately bring the occasion to mind. Deciding that it might be amusing to see what would motivate such a man to enter his study with, of all things, a request, he indicated that Darcy should sit. “Well, you have certainly piqued my interest, but I must tell you at the outset that I have no control over or, for that matter, interest in any of the finer details of my daughter and your friend's wedding. If you are here on Mr. Bingley's behalf in that regard, I must direct you back to Mrs. Bennet. I learned long ago that it is far easier to let her determine the contours of such issues than attempt to get involved in any dispute that, in the end, will hardly matter in the great scheme of things.”