Mr. Darcy's Proposal (45 page)

“At this moment, my love, that is definitely the last thing on my mind.”

Fifty Nine

Elizabeth lay with her head on her husband’s shoulder, an arm across his chest, and her leg entwined with one of his. Resting quietly, she remembered all the tender words of love and desire he had whispered to her and how his arms had felt around her as he had given her pleasure beyond anything she could ever have imagined. She was his now—completely and totally—and she had never been happier in her life. So this was the great mystery that no one wanted to talk about. The thought made her laugh out loud.

“What is it, my love?”

“It is nothing—just, well, I had no idea.”

“No idea of what?”

“How wonderful this could be! This part of marriage is so rarely spoken of. It was always implied to me that a woman must put up with doing her wifely duty, but I knew that could not be the entire truth. Aunt Gardiner tried to tell me, but I had no idea it would be so…so pleasurable.”

Darcy tightened his arm around her. “I have always said your aunt is a very wise woman.”

“So you did not think my behavior was…was wanton?” Suddenly, she felt shy and uncertain of herself.

Darcy put a finger under her chin and lifted her face. “Lizzy, my sweet, what you did was exciting to me beyond anything I could have imagined. Your gift of yourself was truly the most wonderful I have ever received. You have my permission to be the same every time we are together.”

“I so wanted you to know how my feelings have changed over the few past months,” she told him.

“Then you expressed yourself very well indeed.”

A small smile flitted across her face as she blushed and cast her eyes down. Darcy kissed her on the forehead and pulled her closer. She languidly stretched out her bare leg running it down his. “I feel so deliciously content here with you,” she said softly.

“That is an improvement. Months ago, when I asked if you were happy, you told me you were just ‘reasonably content.’”

“Oh, I am
so
much more than that now—I am
exceedingly
content! I feel as if I am glowing all over. Can you tell?” she laughed, tossing her hair back so he could better see her face.

“Let me look.” Darcy examined her face very seriously and then peeked under the covers at the rest of her body. He grinned. “Mmm, yes, I believe you are glowing—
’Celestial rosy red, Love’s proper hue…’
”

She smiled. “You do love Milton.”

He whispered in her ear, “
‘Awake, My fairest, my espoused, my latest found, Heaven’s last best gift, my ever new delight!’
”

“Ah, yes, my paradise is here with you,” she replied just before he silenced her with a kiss.

***

Later when she was able to speak coherently again, she said, “You have called me ‘Lizzy’ several times tonight. You have never done that before.”

“You have been ‘Lizzy’ in my dreams for a long time.”

“So you have been dreaming about me?” she asked coyly.

Now it was his turn to blush. “Constantly.”

“And when did this begin?”

“I believe it was when you were staying at Netherfield.”

“Ah, so you stared at me all day and dreamed about me all night? Is that it?” she teased.

“I have made love to you in my dreams so many times, but no dream could possibly compare to the reality of this night.”

Her eyes danced as she laughed. “And you said you are not good with words! That was the nicest thing you could have said to me. I believe you have just been forgiven for all those months of taking liberties with my person without my knowledge.”

“It is true. Being with you has exceeded my expectations by so much—so very much.” He kissed her forehead.

“When did you begin to believe me?” she asked.

“Believe what?”

“You are tormenting me! Surely, you know what I mean.”

He grinned but then grew serious. “When you came to my room to apologize, I began to hope again. I wanted to believe you, but I think I truly started to take you seriously the day Lady Catherine came to call.”

Elizabeth propped herself up on her elbow to better see his face. “Lady Catherine? I do not understand.”

“I overheard some of what you said to her,” he confessed.

“You were listening at the door?” Frantically, she thought back trying to recall what he might have overheard.

“You told her you loved me for myself alone, and that I meant everything to you. You had no reason to say that if it was not true.”

“You heard that? Then you were outside the door when she was being such a beast to me and you did not help! How could you do that to me?”

Darcy jumped as she poked him in the ribs. Laughing, he playfully fumbled to catch her hands to prevent her from doing further damage. “Very well, I apologize! I am sorry for not coming to your rescue, but you seemed to be doing a very fine job of defending yourself.”

“What else did you hear?”

“Hmmm…there was something about my being the only man in the world to whom you could ever imagine being married. I believe that stunned me in such a way that I could not move.”

“And that is your excuse?” she asked, tilting her head to one side. He shrugged. “You were paralyzed?” Again, he answered with just a grin. “I told you the day I accepted your proposal that I would not pretend feelings I did not have. Did you forget that?” she asked suddenly very serious.

“I did not forget—I was just afraid to trust it.”

“Still I cannot believe you did not come to my defense!”

“Truly, I was about to rescue you. I only listened for a moment, and then you came bursting into the hallway.”

“You know what they say about people who listen at doors?”

“I know I should have interrupted, but I have rarely heard anyone who was more equal to the task of putting my aunt in her place than you were that day.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath and exhaled with resignation. Then suddenly, in a flash of inspiration, it all made sense to her. She sat up and looked him in the eye.

“So that is why you were so curious to know the exact timing of when I learned the extent of your role in helping Lydia. You were trying to determine if I had discovered this before or after your aunt’s visit.” She took his silence as confirmation. “If the discomfort your aunt inflicted upon me helped to convince you of my love, then perhaps I should send a letter thanking her.”

Elizabeth conjured up an image of Lady Catherine’s thunderous countenance at reading such a letter. Her amusement began as a giggle and grew into a full-blown fit of uncontrolled laughter. At first, Darcy did not understand what had given her such delight, but then the cause dawned upon him, and he immediately succumbed to laughter himself.

“I do not know why I find it so funny,” she said, wiping the tears away.

Darcy recovered, too, and shook his head in amazement. “I do not think I have laughed this hard since…well, I am not sure when, but it has been a very, very long time.”

“If you do not remember, then it has been far too long. I shall have to make it my mission to ensure you laugh on a regular basis. I am certain it must be good for your health.”

Darcy reached out, pulling her into his arms and held her tightly against him. Elizabeth gently placed her hand on his chest to feel the steady beating of his heart.

“Oh, my love, I do not know what would have happened to me if I had not found you. You have brought my poor heart back to life,” he said.

“I am only sorry it took me so long to recognize my feelings.”

“So when did you begin?” he asked.

“I think I had loved you for a long time, but I did not truly know it in my heart until I thought I had lost you. I remember you once said that your good opinion once lost was lost forever. I was terrified I had ruined everything with my cruel words.”

Darcy put his hand under her chin so he could look her in the eye.

“But you never lost it—I could never stop loving you even if I wanted to. When you apologized and said you loved me, it was everything I had hoped to hear.”

“But why were you so cold to me?” she asked.

“I wanted so much for you to return my love, but I was afraid to believe it was true. If it wasn’t, I could not have survived the pain of losing you yet again. My coldness was my only defense.”

“Oh, my poor dear. I am so sorry to have caused you pain. I will just have to find a way to make it up to you.”

“I can think of several things you might do,” he said, raising an eyebrow and giving her a suggestive grin.

Elizabeth laughed and poked her finger at his chest. “You, sir, can be very wicked—but I will do my penance with pleasure.” She rolled on top of him and happily began her atonement.

***

Lying together in contentment, they talked until dawn, sharing and sorting through many of the things that had remained unspoken over their months together. Eventually, they began to hear the servants starting their morning routines to prepare the house for the day.

“I should feel tired after being awake all night, but I do not,” she said.

Darcy sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed. “Last night has left me weak with hunger. I require something to eat.”

Elizabeth sat up, putting her arms around her drawn up knees. “If we ring for a breakfast tray, we could have a picnic right here,” she suggested.

Suddenly, she put her head in her hands. “Oh, no!”

Darcy turned back to her, looking concerned. “What is wrong, my love?”

“I think I should return to my room before Burke finds me here. I suppose Margaret already knows I have not slept in my own bed. Oh, this is so embarrassing. Everyone knows that husbands and wives should sleep in their own rooms.” Elizabeth pulled the counterpane over her head to hide how red her face had grown.

Darcy gently lowered the covers and gathered her into his arms. “I am not embarrassed you are here. You have made me the happiest of men. In fact, I am not planning to let you sleep alone again for a very long time.” Then he added quickly, “Of course, if that is acceptable to you.”

Elizabeth finally saw the humor in the situation and kissed him. “It is more than acceptable. In fact, I demand it.”

Sixty

It took all of Elizabeth’s will power not to interrupt Darcy in his study that afternoon. She found that she could think of nothing else but the feel of his body against hers. Finally, she could wait no longer. The look in his eyes when she entered his study made her warm all over.

“Mr. Darcy, I have been feeling very strange all afternoon,” she said playfully.

“Are you feeling ill, my love?” he asked, a look of concern on his face.

“I have been unable to concentrate, in fact, to even think clearly. When I was talking to Mrs. Reynolds about the menus, my mind kept drifting away. Georgiana had to ask me the same question several times before I even knew she was speaking to me. What is happening to me?” she asked, raising an eyebrow dramatically.

Darcy pulled her onto his lap. “Let me check to see if you have a fever.”

As he reached out to touch her forehead, she caught his hand and kissed it. Then she laid her head on his shoulder and began to run a finger along his jaw line and down his neck. She was pleased when she felt him shiver under her touch.

“All I have been able to think of is last night and when I think about it, I lose track of everything else. Tell me it was not just a dream,” she said.

Darcy pulled her close and began to kiss her in a way that would leave her with no doubts.

“Is that better?” he asked a little later.

“It is a good beginning,” she told him as she reached for him again.

After a few minutes, she felt him hesitate and then gently push her away. “Elizabeth, we must stop. We are in my study. Anyone could come to the door.”

“I am not sure I really care right now,” she said with a devilish grin. Then she went back to tempting him by running her hands gently through his hair. He caught her hand and kissed her palm.

“What am I going to do with you?”

Boldly, she told him just exactly what she had in mind. Darcy shook his head and laughed.

“You amaze me!”

“Perhaps, like conversation, this part of our relationship also requires practice. Since we are just learning about each other, do you not think we should practice now?” she asked with an impish grin.

“What will the servants think if we retire to our room at this time of day?” he teased.

“Tell them your wife is tired and wishes to take a nap before dinner, or tell them she cannot wait to be in bed with you again. I do not really care what you say as long as you come upstairs with me.”

Darcy laughed. “Is this ordering me about going to become a habit?”