Mr. Darcy's Proposal (6 page)

“I had no idea,” Elizabeth said softly.

“Surely, you must have known that I intentionally sought you out on your walks around Rosings Park. Did you think that our frequent meetings were merely by chance?”

“But you barely spoke to me.”

“As I told you, I am not as adept in the art of conversation as my cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam. I was enjoying the pleasures afforded by simply being in your presence. I thought you understood that.”

“Clearly, I did not,” said Elizabeth raising an eyebrow.

“I was foolish enough to think you returned my regard, but that evening at the parsonage, I discovered my error. I have taken your words to heart. I have been hoping my actions over the past few days might persuade you to think better of me. I hope you will agree to become my wife—if not for your own sake, then for the sake of your family.”

“Mr. Darcy, how could you think I would even consider accepting you after the way you came between Mr. Bingley and my sister,” she said feeling her anger and frustration rising again.

Although he looked surprised at her bluntness, he answered evenly, “If you remember, I told you that I would try to make amends for my error, In fact, when I call at Longbourn tomorrow afternoon, Mr. Bingley plans to be with me.”

“Mr. Bingley, here?” She could not disguise her shock.

“He is escorting my sister and Mrs. Annesley, her companion, here. They will arrive this evening.”

“I am quite astonished, Mr. Darcy. And you are certain he means to call on us?”

“Before I left London, I met with Bingley to confess that the advice I had given him about your sister’s feelings was in error. I abhor deception of any kind. I had already carried some guilt for my part in those events, and after your words at Hunsford, I resolved to tell him the truth.” Darcy’s eyes seemed to challenge her. “I told him I had reason to believe that Miss Bennet still held him in high esteem and that he would be warmly received should he decide to renew the acquaintance. I hope you will forgive my revealing this to him. I did not tell him how I came to have this information.”

“I thank you most sincerely, Mr. Darcy. My sister mentioned her regard for Mr. Bingley only just yesterday. His call will be most welcome.”

“It was one the most difficult things I have ever had to do,” he confided. “Bingley is a dear friend to me, in many ways like a younger brother. I knew I was risking the loss of his friendship by confessing that I had also kept your sister’s presence in London from him this past winter. Fortunately, Charles has such an amiable disposition that he cannot stay angry with anyone for very long. He forgave me even before we had finished talking and immediately formed a plan to return to Netherfield.”

“So you told Mr. Bingley all this even before you came to Hertfordshire and before you knew how I might receive your proposal?” she said with astonishment.

“Do you really think me so unkind that I would make your acceptance of me a condition of my telling Bingley the truth about what happened?” he replied somewhat indignantly.

Elizabeth blushed and fumbled for something to say.

“I consider it a matter of honor to correct my mistakes when I become aware of them,” he added.

That he considered it so important to speak to Bingley about Jane gave her new insight into his character. He had known the importance she placed on her sister’s happiness, and he had taken action without the expectation of anything in return. Elizabeth looked away wondering if she should feel flattered or offended by the unusual manner of his proposal, but her curiosity was definitely piqued. This speech and his behavior over the past few days were leading her to wonder if perhaps there was more to Mr. Darcy than she had first thought, but still, how could she say “yes” to him?

“Mr. Darcy, I thank you for your very generous offer, but I am not able to give you an answer today. Would you allow me some time to consider your offer?” Elizabeth was surprised that what came out as her response was not what she had intended to say. Her plan to refuse him then and there came undone somewhere between her head and her mouth. Somehow she could not bear to disappoint him when he was sitting there so like a vulnerable little boy. Turning away, she stared at the picture over the fireplace so she would not have to look into his eyes.

Darcy reached over and gently turned her face back toward him. Elizabeth noticed his other hand had somehow come to rest on her knee, and she found herself staring at his long slender fingers. His touch was creating heat on her leg, heat that seemed to travel all through her body causing her cheeks to glow. She marveled how just his touch could create such unsettling feelings.

“Elizabeth?” He spoke very softly. Finally, she raised her eyes to meet his. He was so close she was certain he must be able to hear her heart beating. “Promise me you will give my offer serious consideration. I can take care of you. You would want for nothing.”

Elizabeth bit the side of her lip as she thought about what to say. “I promise I will think this over very carefully before I give you my answer, but that is all I can agree to at present.”

Darcy rose slowly as if he were reluctant to leave. “Very well,” he said with a small sigh. “I will leave you for now and with your permission call again tomorrow morning to inquire about your father. Good-day, Miss Elizabeth.”

The warmth of feeling she had seen in him a few moments before had been quickly replaced with his more familiar formal manner. Giving a small bow, he turned and walked out of the room. She heard the sound of his boots on the marble floor of the entryway, the front door opening and closing, and then silence. Still shaking from what had just transpired, she could not seem to get up from her chair.

Looking around the room, she noticed that someone had poured a cup of tea for her. With a shaky hand, she took a small sip. It was still a little warm. Darcy’s visit—that had seemed an eternity—must actually have been quite brief.

Seven

After sitting for a while in shock, Elizabeth returned to her father’s room and found Jane sitting at his bedside. “Do you think he has improved?” she asked putting a reassuring hand on Jane’s shoulder.

“No improvement, but he does seem to be resting more comfortably now. Lizzy, was that Mr. Darcy in the parlor?”

“Yes, he came to inquire after Papa, but there is more to tell. Come to our room where we can talk. I would not want to wake him,” she whispered.

As they walked arm in arm along the hallway, Elizabeth thought about what she would say. Part of her wanted to share all that had happened, and another part of her thought if she spoke of it out loud, it would become much too real. She knew she could not tell Jane about Mr. Bingley’s return at this point, as she did not entirely trust Mr. Darcy yet.

Once in their room, they sat cross-legged on the bed facing each other as they had so many times before when sharing confidences. “Remember, I told you yesterday that Mr. Darcy’s behavior recently has been quite puzzling to me,” said Elizabeth. “I could not understand why a man so conceited and so self-absorbed would ever want to help me, but I think I finally understand.”

“It was very kind of him. You see, Lizzy, Mr. Darcy is not as bad as you thought him to be. I have always said he has some very admirable qualities.”

Elizabeth squeezed Jane’s hand. “You always believe the best of people. I wish I had your goodness to see the world that way.” Elizabeth was reminded again of Darcy’s influence on Bingley, and how much that interference had cost her sister. Even if Mr. Bingley renewed his suit, nothing could erase the pain of these past few months. If Jane only knew, how might her opinion change?

“I have something to tell you that you may not believe. I hardly know how to think about it myself.”

“What do you mean?” asked Jane.

Elizabeth hesitated for a moment and then took a deep breath. “Mr. Darcy has asked me to marry him.”

Jane’s eyes grew wide. “What? Mr. Darcy? Just now?”

“Your surprise is no greater than mine.”

“But you always believed he did not like you. I still remember how upset you were with him after the Meryton Assembly.”

“Not handsome enough to tempt him? Yes, his insult is etched upon my memory.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

“I believe he was more pleasant to you later when we were staying at Netherfield.”

“But still, he always looked down at everyone around him,” said Elizabeth.

“You saw him again in Kent, I believe. Was he any different there?”

“In some ways, I suppose. I also met his cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam. You could not find two gentlemen as different as they are. I very much enjoyed talking with the Colonel. He has all the charm and ease Mr. Darcy does not.”

“So you liked his cousin, Lizzy?”

“He made my visit more enjoyable. We were invited several times to dinner and tea with Lady Catherine, her daughter, and nephews,” said Elizabeth smiling and rolling her eyes. “I actually think Lady Catherine extended the invitations because she was bored and felt the need of some entertainment.” Elizabeth went on to explain how she and Darcy had met several times on her walks around Rosings Park. At first, she had thought it a coincidence. Now, she realized he had been seeking out her company.

“He is not indifferent to me at all, Jane. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I do not know what I did to bring this on. I never desired his good opinion nor tried to win his affection. If anything, I mocked his prideful manners and haughty attitude.”

“Maybe he was drawn to you
because
you treated him so differently than other women of his acquaintance,” Jane observed. “Caroline Bingley’s behavior was shameful as she tried to win his attentions.”

Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders thoughtfully. “And, Jane, when I think of all the times I noticed him staring at me! I thought it was a sign of his disapproval.”

“Have you given him an answer yet?”

“I asked for time to consider his offer, but I am finding it hard to think about anything at the moment. I cannot seem to focus my mind with all that has happened.”

Jane watched her sister’s face intently. So much had changed in a very short time. Elizabeth was finding it difficult to absorb all the implications.

“If—no, we must face the truth—
when
father is gone, everything will change for us. We have always laughed at Mama trying to find us wealthy husbands. Maybe she was wiser than we thought,” Elizabeth said wryly. “If none of us marry before Papa dies, we will be in a very precarious situation. We will lose our home to Mr. Collins and have only a small income to live on, but if one of us is comfortably married, all the rest would benefit.”

With that tears welled up in Jane’s eyes. Elizabeth reached in her pocket for a handkerchief and offered it to her sister. When Jane refolded the handkerchief to hand it back, she noticed the embroidered initials—’FD’.

“Is this Mr. Darcy’s?” she asked holding it out.

Elizabeth smiled. The fabric was very fine and clearly expensive—an indication of all that could be hers if she agreed to become Mrs. Darcy. “Yes, I have several now. I am embarrassed to report that over the past few days—nearly every time Mr. Darcy has seen me—I have cried, and he has given me another one of these. I have several more in my room. Do you think he proposed because he felt sorry for me or because he thought it was the only way he would get his handkerchiefs back?” said Elizabeth, her sense of humor returning.

“Oh, Lizzy, I do not know what to think about all this. It is too much to take in,” Jane replied.

“He came to call today with the express purpose of asking for my hand. I now suspect that was the reason for his call on me at the parsonage the evening I received your letter. I had just read it when he arrived, and I was in such distress that I told him everything without thinking. The next thing I knew, he had offered his carriage to take me home. I didn’t want to accept, but I really had no other choice. And so it seems, that may be the position I find myself in now. I have put myself in his debt in such a way that it will be difficult for me to turn him down.”

“Surely, you do not think that was the sole purpose behind his offering assistance,” asked Jane.

“It all happened so quickly. I find it hard to believe he had any motive other than genuine concern, but I cannot be sure. The most important thing is he has generously offered to take care of all of us if I marry him and that, Jane, is my dilemma. We both know that marriages of convenience are made every day. Although I have always vowed I would marry only for love, under these circumstances how can I refuse him?”

“Lizzy, you must not sacrifice yourself for the rest of us. Somehow, we will resolve this without your having to tie yourself to someone you do not love.”

“Oh, Jane, I fear you are far too optimistic.”

“Perhaps, but I refuse to believe our situation is so hopeless.”

“And I find it hard to be hopeful! Oh, Jane, what should I do? I have so many reasons to dislike Mr. Darcy. On the other hand, marrying a very rich and handsome—though somewhat unpleasant—man might not be the worst thing that could happen to me. After all, I understand he has a very nice house in town and a rather large estate in Derbyshire,” she said mischievously with a twinkle in her eye.