Mr. Darcy's Proposal (8 page)

Elizabeth could not contain her shock at hearing this information. As she examined both their stories in her mind, she could see that Darcy’s version matched most of what Wickham had told her. However, it was becoming clear that Wickham had conveniently chosen to ignore certain details that entirely changed the meaning of the events. Although she was reluctant to admit it, this new information also matched what Caroline Bingley had tried to tell her, and Elizabeth began to wonder if she had been too quick to believe Wickham’s accusations.

After relating this information, Darcy was silent. Elizabeth could find no words to express her astonishment. At this point, Darcy stopped and turned to face her. “Miss Elizabeth, I am reluctant to reveal my most recent dealings with that man. The circumstances are simply too shocking, but I believe you must know. The man I told about earlier, the man who nearly ruined my sister, was George Wickham.”

Elizabeth gave an audible gasp. First she felt her face drain of all color, and then she flushed with embarrassment. She closed her eyes against the rush of emotion that came with these revelations and felt herself wavering where she stood. When Darcy reached out to offer support, she pulled away, walking off a few steps where she stood with her back to him. Still unsteady on her feet, she put her hand out and leaned against a tree. Her disbelief was extreme, but she knew instantly in her heart that it all must be true.

Elizabeth felt shame and embarrassment that she could have made such a grievous error. She had always prided herself on being a good judge of character. How could she have been so wrong about Mr. Wickham? Was it because Mr. Darcy had wounded her pride with the comments she had overheard at the assembly that first evening? Darcy’s generally cold demeanor toward people must also have been a factor. Apparently, when considering Darcy and Wickham, one man had all the goodness while the other all the appearance of it.

“Miss Bennet, I am very sorry to have caused you discomfort, but I am certain you must know the truth in order to better understand Georgiana.”

When Elizabeth remained silent, he added, “If you do not believe me, then you have my permission to ask my cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, to verify this story. He knows the particulars as he is joint guardian of Georgiana with me.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. When she turned to face him, she had tears in her eyes. Although he immediately offered his handkerchief, she waved it away. Searching his face, she saw concern for her but also fear that she did not believe him.

“I believe you, Mr. Darcy. I do not understand why he would have done that to your sister. I suppose it makes sense if you think that his actions at Ramsgate might have been a sort of revenge on you for refusing him any additional help.”

“Revenge and the opportunity to gain control of my sister’s fortune,” said Darcy looking visibly relieved that she seemed to accept his word.

“Were you aware that when Wickham was in Meryton, I was not the only person he told that you had treated him so abominably?” she asked.

“It does not surprise me that he would try to turn me into the villain yet again. I am sure it allowed him the double pleasure of making people think ill of me and bringing sympathy to himself.”

“If you suspected he was spreading falsehoods, why did you not reveal the truth about his past?”

“I am a very private person, and I decided his character and actions were no one’s business but my own. There was also the risk that if one part of the story was revealed maybe someone might learn all of it. I could not take a chance that Georgiana would be hurt again just when she is beginning to recover a small measure of confidence.”

Elizabeth continued to rearrange in her mind everything she had believed about the relationship between the two men. “I am ashamed to say I was taken in by his lies. I had thought myself a better judge of character,” she said quietly.

“Do not blame yourself. George Wickham has always been very charming. My father was so taken in that he never saw him for the scoundrel that he is. When we were boys, he would lie and my father believed every word. There was always a hint of truth in his lies—just enough to make them plausible. Worst of all, Mr. Wickham has no conscience, and I am sure no remorse for the way he lives or the damage he caused Georgiana.”

Elizabeth walked over to him and placed her hand on his arm. “Mr. Darcy, would you mind walking me home?”

“Yes, of course, if you wish.”

She noticed that he looked calmer than he had a few minutes ago. Elizabeth was not sure if the relief came from simply unburdening himself of the truth or that she had believed him. As they walked together, Elizabeth considered what she had just learned. If she had been wrong about Wickham, what else might she have been wrong about? Everything seemed in question now. This new information did not make Elizabeth like Mr. Darcy more, but now she was at least beginning to see that there were many sides to him she did not know.

In her mind, she reviewed all of her objections to his proposal. He was attempting to make amends to her sister Jane by speaking to Bingley at no small cost to himself. His version of his interactions with Wickham rang true especially after hearing about Miss Darcy’s near escape. There would be no advantage for him to lie to her about this and then offer his cousin to verify the truth of these events. Based on what he had just told her, it made even more sense that he needed her help with his sister. As for his behavior, he seemed to be making an effort to change in that area also, but there was no way to know if he would be successful in keeping his pride under control in the future.

Soon they emerged from the woods and continued on the path that ran along beside one of the freshly plowed fields of her father’s estate. Drinking in the familiar earthy smell that mixed with the scent of wildflowers and new grass, she felt her mind slowly clearing. One final question remained. She took her time, choosing her words carefully. After walking along in silence for a full quarter hour, Elizabeth was finally ready to speak.

“Mr. Darcy, I have something I must ask you before I can give you my answer.”

“You may ask whatever you wish.”

Elizabeth knew that she could not enter into a marriage through any deceit. He would have to know her reservations and her true feelings. Taking a deep breath, she began, “I have considered your proposal very carefully as I promised you I would. Your offer to assist my family is more than generous, and it would certainly relieve my mind to know they would be taken care of. After your revelations today, I have a better understanding of your character, and my respect for you has grown as a result.”

Glancing at him, she saw a hopeful look on his face and was not sure if it pleased or irritated her. “You have said you do not like deception of any kind, and the same is true for me as well. Some women in my position would try to deceive you with pretty but false declarations of love. I cannot do that. I believe, however, that marriages of convenience are very common in society. They are often entered into by people who do not know each other well with the hope that in time affection may grow. I have always said I would marry only for love, but it seems events are forcing me to be more practical. So now, knowing all this do you still wish to marry me?”

The question seemed to float in the air for a long time like an early morning mist.

“Elizabeth, I knew what your feelings were yesterday before I declared myself, but my offer has not changed. I have to say, however, that I appreciate your honesty,” he said almost sounding relieved.

“I do not want you to find later that you have regrets,” she told him.

“My only regret would be if you were to walk out of my life forever. But I am hoping for more than just your respect.”

At this point, Elizabeth made the mistake of looking at him. His eyes were dark green pools of intensity. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she felt as if she were about to walk off a very steep cliff. She had to take a deep breath to stop herself from shaking. “Very well, I accept your proposal, Mr. Darcy. I cannot promise you how my feelings might change after we are married, but I will endeavor to be a good wife to you and sister to Georgiana. I only hope I can live up to your expectations as the Mistress of Pemberley. There are many who will not agree with your choice of a wife.”

Darcy’s smile was so wide that for the first time, she could see both of his dimples. Quickly, she looked away.

“The only person whose blessing I require is my sister’s, and I am confident of her approval.”

Darcy took her hands in his and even through her gloves she could feel the warmth emanating from him. Since she did not have the courage to look him in the eye again, she continued to study his hands as they held hers. She knew that once a couple was engaged, some favors were deemed acceptable, but what would he expect? Would he want to kiss her? She supposed he must be hoping that at least she would look at him. After what seemed like forever, she finally risked a glance and found he was staring at her as if he thought she might disappear.

“You have made me very happy, dearest Elizabeth.” Darcy raised her hand to his lips and kissed it lightly as if to seal their bargain and then tucked it under his arm. As they walked back to Longbourn, he told her he would apply for a special license so they could be married immediately. He outlined his plan for a small private ceremony with only a few family members present out of respect for her father’s illness.

Elizabeth listened with very little comment amazed that he never once asked her opinion. For a moment, she thought of pointing out to him she had not given him permission to use her first name, but she did not have the energy to protest. She also noted that Darcy seemed to assume it natural that he would make all the decisions and arrangements.

He told her he would like her to come to Netherfield early in the afternoon on that very day to meet Georgiana. Their plans for later in the afternoon and evening would depend upon her father’s condition and her mother’s nerves. Elizabeth was certain her mother’s state of mind would improve immeasurably once she learned of their engagement and the security it would bring.

“I know your father is very ill, but will it be possible for me to speak with him today?”

“He was awake for a short period this morning, but you must give me some time with him first so he will not be so shocked when you meet with him. I am sure he would say you are the last man in the world he would ever have expected to be asking for my hand.”

If Darcy was surprised at this, he hid it well.

“I would also like to be the one to tell my father about Wickham. I do not think other members of the family need to be privy to what happened to Georgiana.”

Darcy nodded in agreement. “I remember your mentioning an aunt and uncle in London. When I go to obtain the special license, would you like me to carry a letter to them inviting them to the wedding?” he asked.

Elizabeth brightened at his thoughtful suggestion. “That would be wonderful! They have been like second parents to me all my life, and I would very much like them to be here.”

Elizabeth was unsure how to explain her apparent sudden change of heart about Darcy to friends and family. She suggested they tell people they had begun to form an attachment while they were in Kent, but had chosen to keep it a secret until now.

Just before reaching Longbourn, they stopped. It was an awkward moment in which she sensed he would like to kiss her, but she did nothing to encourage it. He relieved some of the tension by asking, “You will have to help me learn to get along better with your mother. I confess I am always at a loss as to what to say to her.”

“Oh, you probably do not have to worry. She will either be too awed to speak to you or will carry on the entire conversation by herself. In either case, all that will be required of you is an occasional nod,” she said with a grin.

“It is good to see you smile, Elizabeth.”

“I hope I never lose the gift of finding humor in all sorts of situations.”

“Now that we are engaged, would you consider calling me by my first name?” he asked.

Elizabeth was not at all comfortable with this idea as he still seemed like a stranger to her, but if it was important to him, she would try.

“Although my first name is Fitzwilliam for my mother’s family, those close to me call me William to avoid confusion with my cousin the Colonel.

“Very well, William. I shall say good-bye until this afternoon.”

Darcy took her hand and raised it to his lips again. “Until later, my dearest Elizabeth.”

Nine

As she walked the last few yards to the house, Elizabeth felt light-headed. Had she really said “yes” to Mr. Darcy’s proposal? The idea of being “Mrs. Darcy” was not something she could even imagine. Oh, what have I done, she thought.

After searching the house, Elizabeth finally found Jane in the garden cutting flowers. Standing for a moment in the doorway that led out to the garden, she saw Jane with a basket and clippers searching through the roses to find just the right ones for her bouquet. Elizabeth watched her, admiring the graceful way she moved as she bent to her work. Just then, Jane looked up and waved.

“Lizzy, how was your walk?”

“It was lovely. Oh, yes, and while I was out, I happened to encounter a certain gentleman whom I had been hoping to avoid.”