Mummy Told Me Not to Tell (13 page)

Apart from Reece’s aggression and hyperactivity we also had a number of instances of him trying to head-butt Lucy and me, and two of him biting, one of which had resulted in teeth marks in Lucy’s hand. I told Reece off and stopped some of his television time, which
produced a full-scale tantrum. He kicked everything within reach and screamed at the top of his voice that he ‘fucking hated’ me, so he lost more television time.

I wasn’t surprised Reece had taken a step backwards after contact. Apart from having his ‘old’ behaviour reinforced, there was the reminder of the home he had left. All children become a bit unsettled after contact and if the child already has behavioural problems then they tend to escalate as he or she expresses their feelings of confusion in the only way they know how. I knew Reece would settle again and continue with the progress he had already started, until the next contact, when he would take another step back. Eventually, as the weeks passed, and he got used to the routine of contact and adapted to the change, the ‘fallout’ afterwards would, I hoped, be less. However, there would always be some reaction afterwards as he struggled to bring the two halves of his life together and come to terms with everything that had happened.

Current social work policy dictates that children should see their natural parents in all but a very few exceptional circumstances. Many foster carers would challenge how much good ongoing contact is for the child if there is no hope of them ever returning home. But as in many areas of fostering, we have to do as we are told and just pick up the pieces afterwards by giving the child lots of hugs and reassurance.

By Monday Reece was settling down again and as he wasn’t going to school, I decided the days ahead, until he was found a school, needed some structure. I would ask Jill and the social services what was
happening about Reece’s schooling when we next spoke, but I knew from experience it could take weeks, sometimes months, to find a school willing to take a child who had been excluded. So after breakfast I explained to Reece we would do some reading and writing for a little while — pretend he was at school — and then have a break with a drink and a snack; then we would do a little bit of maths work. The rest of the day would be play. He liked the idea of ‘playing schools’. We would also be going out for a while each day, for apart from the practical issues of my having to shop etc., Reece needed the release of energy that a trip to the park or even a walk would, I hoped, effect.

I’d no idea what stage Reece was at with his learning, so I got out a selection of early learning books from the cupboard, which included first- and second-level reading books, and some work sheets. I’d photocopied the work sheets from those of a tutor who’d visited another child I’d fostered who hadn’t been in school. The books and work sheets began at the most basic reception school level and were very appealing, designed to capture the child’s interest, with big words and pictures for the child to colour in.

But before I started I needed a better idea of where to begin, for if I pitched the work too low Reece might see it as ‘babyish’ and reject learning out of hand. A copy of his statement of special educational needs would have been helpful and would have detailed the level he was at, his progress and his difficulties, but I hadn’t received this statement yet. So to gauge his level I decided to
show him some ‘key word’ cards, which I had also photocopied from the tutor’s work sheets, and then mounted on brightly coloured cards. Each card contained a simple word beginning with the words a child would learn first, such as ‘he’, ‘she’, ‘the’, ‘we’, ‘so’, ‘cat’, ‘dog’ and ‘go’, gradually going on to more difficult words like ‘where’ and ‘because’.

I began showing Reece the very basic words, passing the card to him and asking him if he knew what is was.

‘Mmm, not sure,’ he said to each, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

‘OK, so we’ll put them in this pile,’ I said, placing the cards on the table. ‘These are the words we will learn first.’

By the end of the first twenty very basic words, I stopped. Reece had recognized only one word — ‘a’. He was seven and a half and appeared to have a sight vocabulary of one word, which was a single letter. The average child of the same age would have had a sight vocabulary of about 150 words; brighter children would have been reading Harry Potter.

‘Can I do me reading now?’ Reece asked eagerly.

I opened the most basic of the books and began. It was from a structured reading scheme I had bought years before to help a child who had just started school and was struggling. Each page contained a large picture with a single word describing the picture printed underneath — for example, dog, cat. Of course with Reece having no sight vocabulary, I had to tell him each word, which he then happily repeated. We went through the first book twice.

I then opened the second book in the series, which repeated the words in the first book and was supposed to consolidate what the child had learned. But because the pictures had changed in the second book, although the words were the same Reece couldn’t recognize them: he had memorized the sound of the word with the picture, and not the sight of the word, which is what reading is. I returned to the first book and, covering up the pictures, went through the words again. Then I did the same with the second book, repeating the word over and over again.

Although this was very repetitive for Reece and he had some difficulty sitting still in his chair, he was very happy with what we were doing and appeared to want to learn. After about fifteen minutes of this word recognition I put away the reading books and said we would do a little bit of writing, and then have a break. I gave him a pencil and paper and asked if he could write his name.

‘Yeah,’ he yelled excitedly. ‘Of course I can. I ain’t stupid!’

‘No, you’re not. You are doing very well.’ I smiled and he planted a big kiss on my cheek.

‘I like it here,’ he said. ‘I like you.’

‘That’s nice,’ I said. ‘I am pleased. We like having you here.’

He looked surprised. ‘Do you?’

‘Yes. Very much, Reece. I’m pleased you have come to stay with us.’

He beamed from ear to ear. ‘Good, ‘cos I ain’t bein’ moved again. It’s a bleeding disgrace.’

I had to smile, for although Reece had learning difficulties he had remembered word perfect what his mother had said in the car park the previous Wednesday. There was certainly nothing wrong with his hearing!

Reece could only write his first name, and the letters he formed were large and poorly drawn, equating to the average child’s first use of a pencil at about the age of three and a half. I wrote Reece’s surname in large letters, and then made a series of little dots in the shape of the letters, which he joined together to form his name. I did the same with some other basic ‘key words’, and he enjoyed doing this very much.

‘I’m writing!’ he screamed with excitement right in my ear.

‘Yes, you are, but try to talk a bit more quietly, Reece,’ I encouraged, as the girls and I did constantly. But I knew only too well where all the shouting had come from, and seven years of shouting to be heard at home wasn’t going to be altered in weeks or even months.

We had a short break after the writing, when Reece had a banana and a glass of milk and I had a cup of coffee. Then we completed the morning’s ‘school work’ with some very basic number work, using more photocopied activity sheets. After that we went out, via the park, to the shops. I bought the bread, fruit and vegetables we needed, and then we headed back, Reece helping me carry the shopping.

When we got into the hall I saw that the answerphone was flashing with a message. I pressed play: ‘It’s Mary Smith, Jamey’s team manager. I’m in the office until two. Could you call me back please on this number …’

Eureka, I thought. At last! The team manager would have more information and be able to answer my questions. Aware that I might be talking to her for some time, and it was already lunchtime, I quickly made Reece a sandwich, let him choose a packet of crisps and left him eating while I used the phone in the hall so that I couldn’t be overheard. I dialled the number Mary had given and she answered immediately.

‘It’s Cathy Glass, Reece’s carer,’ I said.

‘Good. Thank you for calling back. How are you?’ I could tell from the urgency in her voice she had a lot to say and wanted to get on with it.

‘We’re doing all right,’ I said.

‘Contact,’ she began. ‘I understand it was a fiasco last week, so I have decided to split it. Have you got a pen handy?’

‘Yes.’ I reached for the pen and paper I keep beside each phone. Mary sounded very efficient and I was relieved.

‘I’ve read the contact supervisor’s reports,’ she continued, ‘and I don’t want a repeat of last Wednesday. I shouldn’t think you do either.’

‘No,’ I said with a light laugh. ‘It took quite a while to resettle Reece.’

‘I can imagine. I’ve heard from the other carers as well, so I’m separating contact. Reece will be seeing his parents on Tuesday and Friday, same time and place. Will you be able to take and collect?’

‘Yes,’ I said as I wrote. ‘So he will be seeing his father as well?’

‘Yes. We couldn’t have Scott there last Wednesday because of Susie being there. There’s a police investigation in respect of Scott’s alleged sexual abuse of Susie. But Tracey insisted she wanted to see all her kids together. She knows her rights, as you probably found out when you saw her, but it’s Reece’s rights I’m thinking of here, and he has a right to see his father.’

‘Yes,’ I agreed. ‘Absolutely.’

‘I’m arranging for the other siblings to see Tracey on another evening, because they are not Scott’s children. Scott is only the father of Reece.’

‘Yes,’ I said again.

‘Reece has no relationship with any of his half-brothers or sisters, apart from Susie. He hadn’t seen any of them for years before last week’s meeting. We’re in court again next week, so I’ll be able to tell the judge that we tried to bring them all together, but that it isn’t in any of the children’s interests to repeat it regularly. I anticipate bringing all the siblings together once a year, but I would like Reece to see Susie regularly. He does have a relationship with her.’

‘Yes, he does,’ I agreed.

‘So I was wondering, Cathy, if I give you Susie’s carer’s telephone number, could you arrange between yourselves to meet up every so often, so that Reece and Susie can spend some time together?’

‘Yes, of course. How often would you like?’

‘Every three weeks?’

‘Yes, that would be nice for them. I’ll arrange it.’

‘Good. Susie’s carer is Marie. I think you met her briefly on Wednesday in the car park.’

‘I saw her but that was all. There was too much going on for us to speak.’

‘So I understand. Sorry about that. It shouldn’t happen again. If there are any problems with the contact when there is just Reece and his parents, we will have to rethink the arrangements for taking and collecting him and maybe use an escort.’

‘Fine,’ I said, impressed. Clearly this team manager was on the ball. I wrote down Marie’s telephone number, which Mary now gave me, and read it back.

‘So how is Reece settling in?’ Mary asked.

I told her of the progress he was making — that I thought he was calmer and was accepting the boundaries I had put in place for controlling his behaviour. ‘But it would help,’ I said, ‘if I had some more background information. We’ve had one incident of sexualized behaviour, and I’ve very little to go on. Also I haven’t heard anything about his schooling. What’s happening with that?’

I thought I heard a little sigh before Mary said, ‘I know. Tracey has been in this morning. I’ve promised to look into his education, when I get a minute. The position is this, Cathy. James has taken over the case but is away at present. I haven’t got access to his files — I think he might have taken them home or away with him. His computer is password protected, so I don’t really know what stage he’s at with this. I do know that the education department has been informed that Reece is with you and I understand they are looking for a school in your area. Can I ask you to be patient until Jamey gets back? It’s only ten days now, and I’ll ask
him to get in touch with you as soon as he returns. He’ll be able to give you a clear picture and also get things moving with education.’

‘OK,’ I said, aware that ideally things needed to be moving now, but my carping on wasn’t going to help. ‘Do you know what happened at Reece’s last school?’ I asked, ‘and how long he has been out of school? Tracey seems to think it is months.’

‘I think she could be right. Reece was a poor school attender when he was with her. Despite the emphasis she now places on educating her kids she didn’t take him to school regularly, I know he was excluded from two schools. Jamey will be able to fill you in when he returns. Also he’ll be the best person to give you more background information. But I do know that sexualized behaviour was an issue at one of the previous carers, and also at school. So I should practise your safer caring policy.’

‘We do,’ I said.

‘Was there anything else?’ Mary asked.

‘Jamey will be in touch as soon as he’s back?’ I confirmed.

‘Yes, and thanks for all you are doing, Cathy.’

We said goodbye and I hung up.

While I could have hoped for more information, I appreciated that without access to the files the team manager was not easily going to be able to supply it, and ten days weren’t going to make much difference. Individual social workers carry a huge workload, with fifteen or more families to look after, all requiring home visits, meetings, court appearances and paperwork.
How much greater was the team manager’s workload, as they oversaw all the cases of all the social workers in their department?

I was pleased that Mary had taken on board one of the most pressing concerns — that of contact. For if Wednesday’s ‘fiasco’, as she had put it, had continued twice a week indefinitely, not only would it have undermined Reece’s chances of settling, but I doubted my own nerves would have stood it. Reece seeing his parents by himself seemed a much better solution all round. He would get the benefit of one to one with his mum and dad, and doubtless the beginning and end of contact would be much less fraught, or so I thought. My only real concern about contact now was meeting Reece’s father, Scott. For while I didn’t have all the details, knowing that Scott was under investigation for a sexual assault on his stepdaughter, Susie, who was only ten, I baulked at the thought of having to meet him, although it was a situation I had been in before. I reminded myself that Scott was only under investigation and that he hadn’t been found guilty yet.