Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction (38 page)

They
could smell fried chicken as soon as they got out of the car at Lou’s house. Ezzie came around the side of Jack’s house barking, running the distance to Tess, followed by Jack on her heels.

“
Look at her, Mom. You’ve got a friend there.” Nicholas bent down with Tess to lavish attention on Ezzie.

“
I thought dogs were supposed to help you get attention, not take it all away,” Jack grumbled.

“
Aw, we’re happy to see you, too. But you didn’t come running, with your tail wagging like Ezzie did,” Tess said, grinning up at Jack.

“
How do you know what my tail—” Jack stopped and cleared his throat, as Nicholas stood up, put his hands over his ears, and said, “La la la . . . I'm just gonna go on in the house.”

“
Y’all comin’ in or do I have to serve supper out on the lawn?” Lou called from the front door.

“
Let me take the attention hog home, and I’ll be right back.” Jack picked Ezzie up and cradled her like a baby as he walked toward home, while everyone else went into Lou’s house.

Tess
looked up a few minutes later to see him coming into the house with John Ed.

“
Now that wasn’t a fair trade,” Tess whispered to Lou.

“
Sorry to interrupt the party, folks,” John Ed said, “but I have some news, and Henry Clay said you’d all be together over here.”

“
What kinda news?” Lou asked, crossing her arms in front of her. “If it’s anything like the news I got this mornin’ 'bout Peekal, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“
What’s goin’ on, John Ed?” Jack asked.

“
I told you this mornin’ that Pickle pointed the finger at Crate
Marshall. Well, I went out to question him, but I didn’t ‘zactly get any answers.”

“
Why not?” Tess asked.

“
’Cause he was dead. Dead’er ‘n a door nail.” Everyone started talking at once.

“
Oh my word,” Lou exclaimed, putting her hand over her mouth and sinking onto the couch.

“
Well, tie me to a pig and roll me in mud,” Henry Clay said.

“
Dead?” Tess and Jack said at the same time.

“
Dead,” John Ed confirmed. “Looks like he knew he was done fer and decided to go out on his own terms. He shot hisself after he had
his mornin’ coffee. We found your purse in his bedroom, too, Ms.
Tremaine. Looks like he was the attacker. It all makes sense. And now it’s over.”

“
I’m not sure it all makes sense. He didn’t seem to be the type to go off the deep end like that,” Tess said.

“
That boy was a dog of his own trot. Don’t really matter no more. He’s a goner, and I say good riddance. Saves me some time and work, and saves the taxpayers some money.”

“
John Ed, that’s an awfully cold-hearted thing to say,” Lou said.

“
Aw, Lou, ain’t nobody gonna shed a tear over that man. Facts is facts. I’ll be on my way now. Just wanted to give y'all the good news
myself.”

* * *

“Lou, I’m so full I’m ready to pop, but this cake is delicious. I can't stop eating it. What’s it called?” Tess asked.

“
Better Than Sex.” She blushed, and answered the quizzical stares around the table by shrugging her shoulders and adding, “That’s its name.”

“
Is that the doorbell? Who could that be?” Martha Maye asked to
no one in particular. “Buttabean, go get the door, will ya, sugar?”
Butterbean ran out of the room.

“
Well? Does the cake live up to its name?” Lou asked.

Tess
said, “I’m not touching that one.”

Nicholas
said, “There’s no way I’m answering that with my mother sitting next to me.”

And
Jack said, “It’s been so long, I really couldn’t say.”

“
Hell, at my age, fruit cake would be better than sex,” Henry Clay said.

Butterbean
ushered Pickle and Caledonia Culpepper into the dining room. Pickle had his hands in his pockets and was looking at his
shoes. His facial expression matched the sentiment on his t-shirt: “My Imaginary Friend Kicked Me Out Of Our Imaginary Club.”

Caledonia
said, “Excuse the interruption, y’all. No wonder Tess didn’t answer her door. We didn’t know everybody was here, but that’s fortuitous, since Pickle has somethin’ he wants to say to Lou
and
Tess. Don’t you, Pickle?” She nudged his arm.

Pickle
looked at Tess and said, “I want to apologize again for
my . . . “

His
mother helped him out, “abominable . . . “

“
…for my amominal . . . adobin . . . abdominal behavior. I . . . “ he glanced at Henry Clay, then back at his shoes.

Lou
broke in
.
“Peekal, you’re squirmin' like a worm in hot ashes. Sit yerself down and have some cake. We’re not gonna boil ya in oil or
nuthin’.”

Pickled
coughed and shuffled his feet.

“
No thank you, Lou, Pickle’s gonna say his peace, and we’re gonna get outta your way. Go on, Pickle,” Caledonia urged.

Pickle
cleared his throat and looked around the room, then down at his shoes. “I’m just so ashamed of myself, Mizz Tess. You’ve been so nice to me, and I let the smell of money turn my head. Can you ever forgive me?”

“
Pickle, are those your words or are they rehearsed?” Tess asked.

“
Uh . . . both I guess.”

“
Well, I want to hear it straight from you,” she said gently.

He
was quiet for a moment, then blurted out, “Well, ma’am, I’m just flat out sorry. I don’t know what got into me. But if you’ll forgive me,
I swear I’ll do my best to stay on the straight and narrow from now on.”

Caledonia
piped up, “You got that right.”

“
What can I do to make it up to y’all?”

“
You stay on the straight and narrow, Pickle, and that’ll do just fine.” Tess patted his arm. “I expect it’s pretty hard to say no to an
intimidating man like Crate Marshall, right?”

“
Pickle,” Henry Clay said, “did you hear what happened to
Marshall?”

“
Yes, thank you, we heard,” Caledonia said. “Now don’t you dare go makin’ my boy think that was his fault. Anything happened to him was his own doin’s. What do you wanna say to Mizz Louetta, Pickle?”

“
Mizz Louetta, please, please, please may I keep my job? You’re the best boss in town, and just like I said to Mizz Tess, I’ll work my hardest to prove I’m worthy.”

Lou
looked at Pickle for a full ten seconds. “I’m gonna hold you to that, Peekal. But listen here, and listen good. You mess up again, and
I'll slap the taste right outta your mouth! No offense, Caledonia.”

“
None taken, Lou,” Caledonia said.

“
Yes’m. I promise I’ll make y’all proud of me.”

“
Okay, thank y’all for bein’ so understandin’. We’ll get outta your hair now.” Caledonia pulled on Pickle’s arm.

“
Don’t get up, Lou. I’ll walk them out,” Jack said, motioning ever so slightly to Tess to join him.

“
I’ll walk you out, too,” she said, trying to cover a smile.

“
Pickle, hold on a minute,” Jack said, once they were all outside of the house.

“
Is there somethin’ more you want to say?”

Pickle
looked a little puzzled, then he looked at the ground, and
finally up, directly into Jack’s eyes. “You can't judge the depth of a well by the handle of the pump.” He turned quickly and walked away.

“
Somethin’s not right. He’s holdin’ somethin’ back,” Jack said, watching Pickle and his mother get in their car.

“
What do you suppose he meant by the depth of the well, and the handle of the pump?”

“
Beats me entirely. Sounded kinda cryptic, didn’t it?”

They
waved, as Pickle and his mother drove away. It was almost dark, but the sky still had some streaks of purple and red. Jack pulled Tess toward him and looked into her eyes. “Hey, beautiful.”

“
Hey, you,” she said softly. He cupped his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss that started out slow, but grew hungrier. Finally, he ended the kiss with a groan, hugging her tight.

“
Aw, Tess, the things you do to me.”

She
pulled back. “What things?” She smiled up into his eyes.

He
kissed her again and then whispered, “I want you, Tess. I think about you all the time, I can’t get enough of you.” He stood looking into her eyes for a moment. “I think I’m falling in love with you.” He kissed her again and then whispered, “I just thought you should know.”

Tess
pushed her hands into his thick, wavy hair and said softly, “Nick goes home tomorrow. How about you come over for dinner
tomorrow night?”

wollerin’ in sorriness
: verb \wahl-er-in in sawr-ee-ness\ feeling sorry for oneself

He’s wollerin’ in sorriness.

[  July
2010  ]

“When did Nicholas take off this morning?” Jack asked Tess, as she cleaned up supper.

“
Around nine. It was good to see him. Sometimes I wonder why
I didn’t move to Birmingham with him. But I wanted a small town, and Goose Pimple Junction drew me right in. Besides, what twenty-five-year-old guy wants his mama following him to town?”

“
True.”

“
And I do like my independence. I like being able to come and go, and see whoever I want, whenever I want.”

“
I like that, too,” he said with a grin. “But he’s a great kid, Tess. You did good.”

“
Thanks.”

“
Do you mind if I give Ezzie a little treat?” Jack pointed to some of the leftover ham.

“
Not at all. I’m glad you brought her tonight.”

Jack
put some meat on the floor for Ezzie and walked over to Tess at the sink.

“
Excellent dinner, Tess.” He wrapped his arms around her from
behind and nuzzled her neck.

She
leaned back into him for a moment. “Mmm, you always smell so good.”

“
How good?”

“
Irresistibly good.” She rubbed her cheek against his hair.

“
That’s what I was goin’ for,” he whispered.

“
Let me finish these dishes, and I’ll give you my undivided
attention.”

“
What can I do to help?”

“
Just stand there and look good.” She flashed a smile over her shoulder.

Jack
stepped back, but began rubbing her shoulders instead of
walking away.

“
Oh my gosh, that feels good.” She closed her eyes and let the water continue to run over the already clean dish.

“
Ah, ah, ah! No stopping. If you stop working, I’ll have to stop
massaging. We don’t need the clean-up to take any longer than
necessary. Unless you want to take a break and finish those later.”

“
You’re a cruel man, Jackson Wright,” she teased. “But I’m anal
retentive. If I don’t clean these up it will be niggling at me all night.”

“
Hmmm, I’d like to be niggling at you all night,” Jack said in an
imitation Groucho Marx voice.

“
I’ve been thinking, Jack . . . “

“
Me too. What’ve you been thinking about?”

“
Does it make sense to you that Tank would commit suicide over a little mischief?”

“
No, as a matter of fact it does not. I was thinking the same thing. He was tough as nails. And he probably would’ve gotten off with a slap on the wrist. Nothing major. Nothing worth dying over. And he told
us about his grandfather’s involvement in both crimes. So what are we missin’?”

“
I don’t know! It just doesn’t add up.” His fingers had left her shoulders and were working their way down to the small of her back. She dried her hands and put them behind her, pulling him in for a backward hug. They stood that way silently for several seconds. Then she wiped down the countertop and turned to look at him.